Thursday, June 21, 2018

Song of the Day: "Apeshit"


WTF with all the Lambo references in rap? I don't get it. $200,000 for just one vehicle? I'd rather get 5 $30,000 vehicles, and keep the change (in case you're planning a present for me).

Kudos to The Carters for pulling this off, by the way (I'm sure my validation is what they were after).



Song: "Apeshit"
Artist: The Carters

Friday, June 15, 2018

Song of the Day: "I Wonder If I Take You Home"

Meshell Ndegeocello (nee Michelle Johnson) has an interesting body of work: in many ways it defies easy characterization; in other ways it's good, not great. Her biggest hit was a great cover with John Mellencamp (wisely they picked no one's favorite Van Morrison song and came up with a great version together).

Her new album Ventriloquism is a set of R&B/soul covers from the 80s and 90s. The list is interesting, the end result less so.

I suppose I should give her an A for effort, but "Don't Disturb This Groove" should have made for an easy cover.



Song: "I Wonder If I Take You Home"
Artist: Meshell Ndegeocello

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Song of the Day: "Hell or High Water"

Passenger makes lovely music even if I get overly confusing when I write about it. You've been warned.



Song: "Hell or High Water"
Artist: Passenger

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Song of the Day: "Not Quite"

Some dude who used to be in a band (maybe 30 Seconds to the Disco) tweeted this song and even though I don't know or care about him, I dig this.



Song: "Not Quite"
Artist: Kane Strang

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Song of the Day: "You Don't Walk Away From Love"

Of course you don't walk away from love, it would totally catch up with you. You've got to jump in a speeding getaway vehicle. And have a second car ready at a pre-arranged car change spot. Along with some disguises.

Obvs.




Song: "You Don't Walk Away From Love"
Artist: Peace

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Song of the Day: "Allocate"

Wharton Rob gets credit for introducing me to Damien Jurado back in the day (possibly 1994 oh shit, I was already in Portland when Water Ave. S came out in 1997). I'm still giving Rob credit even if the time line is dubious.

Which brings us to The Horizon Just Laughed, his 17th album in 21 years. That's a lot. Anyone can be forgiven for not knowing all 17 really well.



Song: "Allocate"
Artist: Damien Jurado

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Song of the Day: "Diane"

Holy shit this is a great song. How did this not make more year-end lists for 2017 (it was released in October last year, but it is going on my singles list for 2018, pretty much can guarantee that).

Cam's Wikipedia entry says she's written music for Miley Cyrus, and can I request the two of them do an album together? They would sing the shit out of some Dixie Chicks/Fleetwood Mac/Indigo Girls/Simon & Garfunkel covers.



Song: "Diane"
Artist: Cam

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Seamen Jokes Never Get Old

 

Did you ever have one of those days where you have to strip down to some gym shorts in order to climb your friends and coworkers to reach the top of an obelisk that's been covered in lard?
Me neither.

And yet many seamen do.

It's the Herndon Climb and you already know about it don't you?



One of these days I'm going to have to see it in person.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Song of the Day: "All the Stars"

Kendrick Lamar curated the soundtrack to Black Panther, and it stands as one more aspect of the project's success (critical praise? check; massive box office? check; a part of the zeitgeist? check; hit soundtrack? check). 

It's really kinda weird they didn't make the movie sooner. Like much, much sooner.

Also Kendrick Lamar isn't doing too badly for himself. Sure, his last 2 albums received the highest Metacritic scores for their respective years (2015's To Pimp a Butterfly with a Metacritic score of 96  and 2017's DAMN with a 95) but lost the Grammy for Album of the Year to Adele (Metacritic score of 75) and Bruno Mars (Metacritic score of 70), respectively. But he's at least won one Grammy (take that, Liza), and the Pulitzer Prize has him looking toward PEGOT. Of course he needs to win EOT...



Song: "All the Stars"
Artist: Kendrick Lamar/Sza

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Song of the Day: "Lottery"

There's a mildly amusing story that describes how I came to hear this song, but I'm not going to share it here because why should I start being amusing now?

Exactly.



Song: "Lottery"
Artist: Jade Bird

Found Wisdom


Friday, May 11, 2018

Song of the Day: "The Enlightenment"

It's fitting that this post, from Mastersystem, a side project of Scott Hutchison and his brother (both from Frightened Rabbit), along with dudes from Editors and Minor Victories, pushes down my obituary for Scott who ended his life this week. As angst-ridden and foreboding as his songs were with respect to his life, it's the fucking music that I connected with and loved. Love.

And even this rollicking big 90s angst fiesta is fucking awesome.

Vive Scott's music.



Song: "The Enlightenment"
Artist: Mastersystem

R.I.P. Scott Hutchison

"I'm away now. Thanks."--Scott

I saw a post on Twitter from the @frightenedrabbit account that expressed concern for Scott, who'd been missing a day or 2: "He may be in a fragile state and may not be making the best decisions for himself right now. Please could Scott or anyone with any information on his whereabouts please contact Police Scotland (101)." 

"This won't end well," I thought. That's actually a pretty standard thought, and one I apply to many situations in an almost prescient manner. 

Which is to say it doesn't end well if you embrace the orthodoxy that suicide is a bad outcome, which I'm not sure I do. Those who call someone who takes his/her own life (I'm struggling with a term that doesn't use a word like "victim" and went down a rabbit hole with respect to the academic study of suicide and the language around suicide) selfish do so with no real sense of understanding, and prioritize the loss felt by the family and friends over the pain endured by him/her (the suicide, if you will). I'm not convinced that suicide is never the answer. I didn't mention that to my friend who's been training as a therapist and was proud to have helped someone change their mind about taking his/her own life, when she shared that information with me the next morning at breakfast. 

Maybe later I'd suggest that she just prolonged someone's agony, but not that Saturday morning. 

What's my point? Oh, fuck, right/ Scott is gone. 

If you do a search for "Frightened Rabbit" in the search box for my blog, you'll get over 20 results. If you search for "Paul Weller" you'll get dozens more, but then Paul Weller has been an important part of my life since 1982, while Frightened Rabbit only appeared on my radar in 2010. So per year they're pretty notable.

Also if you add in "Frighten the Rabbit" and "Frightened Rabbits" you'd find a few more near-misses. 

I've described Frightened Rabbit as a band seemingly grown in a lab for me to love: the bombastic percussion, the snarky and dark lyrics, the ample use of "fuck." What's not to love?
 

I've also described them as being suspiciously perfect, but let's put that aside.

Frightened Rabbit was the musical equivalent of the darkness I find so rewarding in Bojack Horseman. In "Floating in the Forth" Hutchison lays it all out: "Am I ready to leap? / Is there peace beneath / The roar of the Forth Road Bridge?”

The song ends with his proclamation that he'd save suicide for another year. His body was found on the banks of the Forth, just down river from the Forth Road Bridge. 

The man who wrote "Swim Until You Can't See Land" and "Die Like a Rich Boy" and "State Hospital." When it's this clear it doesn't really count as foreshadowing. 

That being said, when it happens to me it is totally unplanned (otherwise it might fuck up the insurance payout). 

Clark and I went to see the band in Eugene back in 2012. My blog posts make it clear that I was a bit dubious about that actually happening, and I can tell you the drive home the next morning was a bit rough, but OMFG we both really loved that show. They'd been selling out all their gigs in Portland, and Scott even lamented that their Portland shows tended to suck because they'd have way too much fun in town before going on. They were well-rested in Eugene. Tight. Clark didn't really know the music but the percussion reawakened the old drummer in him. 

This sucks but then life sucks. 

Rest in peace dude. Both of you.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Monday, May 7, 2018

Song of the Day: "Ashes"


Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes. Celine Dion + Deadpool = "Ashes" = aweSUM. Regular readers of this blog (as if) know I have a strange attachment to the hit songs from movies that have no connection whatsoever to their movies (Huey Lewis & the News "The Power of Love" from Back to the Future, which lost the Academy Award to fellow HSFMTHNCWTTM song, Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me" from White Nights). I figured that's what this song was with respect to Deadpool 2: Electric... No, Just 2?

BUT IT'S NOT!!!

It is "a part of the plot and the theme of the movie, instead of just being a fun music video to tease the release" according to the song's Wikipedia entry. Also the song has its own Wikipedia entry.

It doesn't seem like it was written explicitly for the movie, which might hurt its chances at an Oscar nomination (but other songs escaped that standard). Doesn't matter, I'm all in on this one!



Song: "Ashes"
Artist: Celine Dion

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Song of the Day: "Hunger"

I need to add Florence + the Machine to the musical bucket list.

And I need to pay attention to the concert date once I get a ticket.



Song: "Hunger"
Artist: Florence + the Machine

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Song of the Day: "Back Seat Driver (Spirit Guide)"

I am glad they're back. Seems like forever since "Long Nails."



Song: "Back Seat Driver (Spirit Guide)"
Artist: Bear Hands

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Song of the Day: "Nice for What"

Drake with some version of Lauryn Hill's "Ex Factor" as the music bed.  Weird.



Song: "Nice for What"
Artist: Drake

Monday, April 2, 2018

Song of the Day: "Space Cowboy"

A reviewer characterized Kacey Musgraves as writing kids' music for adults. I'm fine with that.



Song: "Space Cowboys"
Artist: Kacey Musgraves

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The National Review: "If You're Not Dead, You're Not Shit"

I fucking hate the partisan divide in this country. My concern that I'm living in a bubble led me to subscribe to National Review Online's daily newsletter which informs of the myriad ways that liberals/the left/the Kardashians hate America and want America to fail. I mention the Kardashians specifically because National Review's writers either consider them key thought leaders among the left that are worthy of writing about in every article, or they are a self-contained punchline to NR's readership, akin to Jay Leno's Monica Lewinsky jokes. Always salient!

This week, Joe Bissonnette (a Canadian, who comes from Canada [much like the right's Ted Cruz, who is also a Canadian who comes from Canada]) name checks the Kardashians twice in his piece "David Hogg: Oracle, or Useful Idiot?"
"Unlike the Kardashians, social media, gender studies, or anything sold by Starbucks, the Second Amendment is not some fraudulent circus scam designed to deceive, corrupt, and impoverish. Peace, order, and good government have had an amazingly long run in America, but they are fragile things, and the United States Constitution did not secure them by chance." Kardashians AND gender studies AND Starbucks?! If only he'd mentioned quinoa or renewable energy, he would have had BINGO.
He's alluding to the thoughtfully determined balance of power, and the series of checks each branch of government has on the others.

JK, he's totes about the guns and how guns are the most important aspect of the Constitution and how a world without guns would be the worst world because we'd all be victims to all the things that are bad. Guns are the only thing between us and oblivion.

Did you know that there have only been 35 kids and 6 adults killed in school shootings since 2013? Only 35!!! That's practically none and when you consider the fact that there are about 51 deaths from lightning strikes per year, really, the odds of dying in a school shooting is basically 1/6th of the odds of dying from a lightning strike which is logic too brilliant to ever contend with.

Sure, you might say that by going back just one month more into the past you would increase the number of dead by more than 50% (December 2012, Sandy Hook [totally a false flag thing by Obama as a run up to when he took all the guns]), but how would that help his argument? It wouldn't. 

Or you might say that the venue for mass shootings doesn't have to be schools. Something tells me these kids are eager to stop mass shootings even if they're at movie theaters, malls, or on the streets of Las Vegas. 

You might also say that maybe it's not just the death toll, but the compounded trauma from the injured and the PTSD for survivors and their families and a town forced to confront the awful reality, but that would be ignoring how towns are also traumatized when someone is killed by lightning, which, I'm sure they are to a certain extent, but it is entirely possible that they are processed with a different magnitude.

Okay, I went to fact check the dude's 51 deaths per year and that is just bullshit sloppy writing. That's a 30 year average but since we are only going back to 2013, the numbers average 26.2 per year. That just makes his point all the most relevent-er if you don't think about it. Sure the difference in odds got larger when we account for Sandy Hook but now they difference shrinks to smaller than it was when we cut the annual deaths in half--I'm helping!!!

Apparently the number of deaths per year from lightning strikes is a threshold for which anything less likely needs to shut the fuck up. Or within a multiplier of 10. Don't come for my guns. 

And if you're not dead, fuck you.

But the most interesting of the various reasons people are even talking about this staged shooting filled with paid crisis actors is that "everybody knows that schools are sociopathic, outdated, Industrial Revolution–era warehouses" full of angsty teenagers who, frankly, deserve to get shot up by a white male with a gun, apparently (I'm not sure of the logic that gets us here, but I'm sure "freedom" is part of it). 

Also there has never been a grizzly bear attack of an online classroom, Take that Wyoming schools.

The writer does mention this:
"A psych study a few years ago had a large random sample describe a facial expression in a picture. The vast majority of children and adults identified the facial expression as neutral or positive, while more that 70 percent of teens identified the facial expression as negative, hostile, and judgmental." 
And I'm just dying to know which group was actually correct (or if all grouops were wrong). He didn't source the alleged very real study. Which is a shame because in the very objective realm of drawing inferences from facial expressions, someone has to be 100% right and others have to be wrong.

Blah blah. 

Song of the Day: "Neighbors"

The thing about music is there's always going to be a fuckload of stuff you never even get to listen to because you don't get to hear them and if you're focused on discovery then you don't get to savor the stuff you love but either way, what I'm really saying is QUIT IT WITH THE FUCKING IMAGINE DRAGONS SHIT.

Please.

Fuck.



Song: "Neighbors"
Artist: Lucius

Pay No Attention


Sunday, March 25, 2018

Song of the Day: "Deadwood"

Remember when Toni Braxton was the shit?

I do, and sadly that means that I'm old.



Song: "Deadwood"
Artist: Toni Braxton

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Pitcher of the Day

Via cousin Lindsey (or is it Lindsay?)

I call it "Now that John Bolton is the National Security Adviser everything will be just fine."

Song of the Day: "Once in My Life"

The opening track from a recent Decemberists release.



Song: "Once in My Life"
Artist: The Decemberists

Friday, March 23, 2018

Song of the Day: "The First Penis I Saw"

I'm posting this so I don't forget about it at the end of the year, when it's list-making time.

It's ABBA-riffic!


Song: "The First Penis I Saw"
Artist: Donna Lynne Champlin

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Song of the Day: "Delicate"

I feel like the more self-aware Taylor Swift's music becomes, the less I'm inclined to like it. This begs the question, are Taylor's song a product of artificial intelligence and thus is Taylor an android?!!!

Asking for a friend.



Song: "Delicate"
Artist: Taylor Swift

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Song of the Day: "Make Me Feel"

The first single from Dirty Computer, Janelle Monae's third album, has Prince's fingerprints all over it. Except not all over it. He is not credited on the song, although Monae says Prince helped "create sounds" for the album, possibly in an "I am not paying your estate for this" kind of way.




Song: "Make Me Feel"
Artist: Janelle Monae

Friday, March 2, 2018

Song of the Day: "Dancing"

Kylie Minogue has somehow merged Music-era Madonna and Dolly Parton.

Good for her.



Song: "Dancing"
Artist: Kylie

Monday, February 26, 2018

Song of the Day: "I Don't Love You Anymore"

It's been a long time since I was instantly swept up by a song (okay, it happened 3 or 4 times in 2017, but still, it's awesome when it happens).



Song: "I Don't Love You Anymore"
Artist: Ricky Montgomery & the Honeysticks

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Song of the Day: "Pictures of Girls"

I'm sure Wallows would have called this song "Pictures of People" if they were woke.



Song: "Pictures of Girls"
Artist: Wallows

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Song of the Day: "How Simple"

I'm pretty sure I have the song name and the band name correctly noted, and not reversed.



Song: "How Simple"
Artist: Hop Along

2017 Albums List


25. Aimee Mann Mental Illness
24. Stars There Is No Love Under Fluorescent Light
23. Father John Misty Pure Comedy
22. Beck Colors
21. St. Vincent Masseducation
20. Fleet Foxes Crack-Up
19. Mount Eerie A Crow Looked At Me
18. St Etienne Home Counties
17. Margo Price All American Made
16. Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings Soul of a Woman
15. Kelly Lee Owens Kelly Lee Owens
14. Haim Something To Tell You
13. The War on Drugs A Deeper Understanding
12. Mountain Goats Goths
11. Mark Eitzel Hey Mr. Ferryman
10. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit The Nashville Sound
9. SZA CTRL
8. Jens Lekman Life Will See You Now
7. Charly Bliss Guppy
6. Manchester Orchestra A Black Mile to the Surface
5. Hurray for the Riff Raff The Navigator
4. Sampha Process
3. The xx I See You
2. Lorde Melodrama
1. The National Sleep Well Beast

2017 Albums #5 to #1





5. Hurray for the Riff Raff The Navigator
4. Sampha Process
3. The xx I See You
2. Lorde Melodrama
1. The National Sleep Well Beast


2017 Albums #10 to #6





10. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit The Nashville Sound
9. SZA CTRL
8. Jens Lekman Life Will See You Now
7. Charly Bliss Guppy
6. Manchester Orchestra A Black Mile to the Surface


2017 Albums #15 to #11

15. Kelly Lee Owens Kelly Lee Owens
14. Haim Something To Tell You
13. The War on Drugs A Deeper Understanding
12. Mountain Goats Goths
11. Mark Eitzel Hey Mr. Ferryman


2017 Albums #20 to #16





20. Fleet Foxes Crack-Up
19. Mount Eerie A Crow Looked At Me
18. St. Etienne Home Counties
17. Margo Price All American Made
16. Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings Soul of a Woman



2017 Albums: #25 to #21





25. Aimee Mann Mental Illness
24. Stars There Is No Love Under Fluorescent Light
23. Father John Misty Pure Comedy
22. Beck Colors
21. St. Vincent Masseducation


Monday, February 19, 2018

2017 Singles: #10 through #1

10. Gorillaz/Jehnny Beth "We Got The Power"
9. Judah & the Whale "Take It All Back 2.0"
8. Lorde “Green Light"
7. Miley Cyrus "Malibu"
6. Jens Lekman "What's That Perfume That You Wear?"
5. Childish Gambino "Redbone"
4. Haim "Want You Back"
3. The National "The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness"
2. The xx “On Hold”
1. Portugal. The Man “Feel It Still”


2017 Singles: #20 through #11

20. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit "Hope the High Road"
19. Hurray for the Riff Raff "Pa'lante"
18. Haim “Little of Your Love”
17. Slowdive "Star Roving"
16. Jens Lekman "How We Met, the Long Version"
15. Beck "Up All Night"
14. Ted Leo “The Little Smug Supper Club”
13. Mountain Goats "Rain in Soho"
12. Ke$ha/The Dap King Horns "Woman"
11. Hurray for the Riff Raff "Living in the City"


2017 Singles: #30 through #21

30. Sir Sly "High"
29. Courtney Barnett + Kurt Vile "Over Everything"
28. Walker Hayes "You Broke Up with Me"
27. The Shins "Australia"
26. Arcade Fire “Everything Now”
25. Hercules & Love Affair/Rouge Mary "Rejoice"
24. State of Sound "Heaven"
23. Drake "Passionfruit"
22. Charlie Bliss "Glitter"
21. Vance Joy "Lay It On Me"



2017 Singles: #40 through #31

40. Mountain Goats "Andrew Eldritch is Moving Back to Leeds"
39. Cloud Nothings "Enter Entirely"
38. Foster The People "Sit Next to Me"
37. Dirty Projectors/D∆WN "Cool Your Heart"
36. LCD Soundsystem "Tonite"
35. Saint Etienne "Dive"
34. Margo Price "Pay Gap"
33. Chris Stapleton "Either Way"
32. Carly Rae Jepsen "Cut to the Feeling"
31. Charli XVX "Boys"



https://www.youtube.com/

2017 Singles: #50 through #41

50. Destroyer "Tinseltown Swimming in Blood"
49. The New Pornographers "High Ticket Attractions"
48. Ride "Cali"
47. Jay-Z "The Story of OJ"
46. Nine Inch Nails “Less Than”
45. The National “Day I Die”
44. The Killers "Run for Cover"
43. St. Vincent "Los Ageless"
42. Sufjan Stevens "Mystery of Love"
41. Lorde "Homemade Dynamite"

Monday, February 5, 2018

Song of the Day: "Rose-Colored Boy"

Apparently I have no idea who Paramore are...



Song: "Rose-Colored Boy"
Artist: Paramore

Musical Theater Therapy: "YMCA"



Disco did not go gentle into that good night. It took a triumphant last stand which only made things worse--it was then pushed down a large flight of stairs and its skull stomped on eventually succumbing to a variety of its injuries.

Things might have ended with less violence had the Village People not released Can't Stop The Music, the 1980 movie musical starring the VPs along with Oscar nominee (just not for this) Valerie Perrine, a rollerskating Steve Guttenberg and Olympic gold medal winner Bruce Jenner in his sole big-screen outing.

Fun fact: we here at Musical Theater Therapy did, in fact, stay at the YMCA. On our first visit to Seattle in 1995 we stayed at the downtown YMCA which offered a variety of inexpensive lodging options including private rooms with share baths (European style) for $44 a night. We came back to find the room an utter mess--we left the window open and pigeons came into the room, made a mess, then left. Also on Sunday night, October 8th, while trying to get to sleep before an early flight home, the city erupted in the sound of celebration. With our help, the Seattle Mariners beat the NY Other Teams and went to their first World Seriously Championships of ever. We did not see another human the entire time we were at the YMCA.

The song, while not explicitly a lie, is misleading. While you *can* do many things, there is no guarantee that you will do anything there.

Today's song is "YMCA"--a song about how, if you're down and out, you should seek comfort in brotherhood. Today's lesson is that you should do that, just make sure there's someone there before you spend a lot off effort.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Sooner or Later (I Always Get My Man)"



Speaking of Stephen Sondheim (and we were, just yesterday, duh, pay closer attention), here's his Oscar winning song from the hit movie (and I do mean hit, it was a really big hit) Dick Tracy. Remember when we were all gaga for primary colors and an original song score partially by Stephen Sondheim? Me neither because we are young Millenials here and have no idea who this schmoe hosting these awards (MTV VMAs?) is...

We remember when Madonna was out hitchhiking in no clothes because that was nudity before the internet existed. We were 2 years old then.

Today's song is "Sooner or Later (I Always Get My Man)" and today's lesson is that Millenials will kill everyone and everything around them. Including us, I mean you, because we certainly are a Mlllenials ourselves.

Song of the Day: "Stand Up For Something"

This is Diane Warren's ninth Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. Randy Newman has two pity wins at this point, so, you know. Do the right thing AMPAS (the right thing, by the way, is to fix your fucked up judging process for Original Song).

And apparently this is NOT Alessia Cara (whose name I spelled right on the first try).



Song: "Stand Up For Something"
Artist: Andra Day/Common

Monday, January 22, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Tonight"



Musical Theater Therapy celebrates one of those musical moments when all the pieces are set up on the game board. Today it's "Tonight" from the iconic (if certainly a bit overwrought) West Side Story, the movie musical about how some Greek and eastern Europeans got into it good with some western Europeans in a part of Manhattan that would soon become super gay.

If we learn one lesson from West Side Story, it's not to let prep school students like Stephen Sondheim write lyrics for gang members.

If we learn two lessons from West Side Story, it's that Marni Nixon is a bad-ass utility player.

Was.

Hash tag rest in piece.

Today's song is "Tonight" and today's lesson is the thing about prep school lyrics. Obvs.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Kiss Her Now"



We here at Musical Theater Therapy are well versed in the forgotten musical Dear World thanks to Broadway Genius John. He's useful like that.

He's also a bit impatient at our unwillingness to sit still and/or stay past intermission which is very likely related to some serious mental health issues we've been working through (or possibly ignoring) which is neither here nor there, it's just a thing, no follow-up questions please.

If you aren't well versed in the story of Dear World, here's the plot summary per Wikipedia: A corporation has discovered oil under the streets of Paris, directly under a bistro. The Countess Aurelia (known as The Madwoman of Chaillot) lives in the bistro's basement, driven mad because of a lost lover and reminiscing about her past. When the corporation decides to blow up the bistro to get the oil, a young executive, Julian, helps to foil the plan because he has fallen in love with Nina, the bistro's waitress. Aurelia lures the corporation executives to the underground in the sewer system.

It's based on Jean Giraudoux's play The Madwoman of Chaillot as adapted by Maurice Valency.

The show ran a brief 132 performances on Broadway and won 50% of its 2 Tony nominations. Today's song is "Kiss Her Now" sung by Angela Lansbury, Tony winner for Best Leading Actress in a Musical 1969 (plus 4 other Tonys). Today's lesson is not to wait to kiss her, dumb ass... kiss her now.

No, now!

Now!!!

And now you've missed your chance.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "All I Care About"



In the Year of Jerry Orbach, how many Jerry Orbachs (or is it Jerries Orbach) is too many?

None. You can never have enough Jerries Orbach.

Today's Jerry Orbach is the Tony-losing Jerry Orbach from the musical Chicago. It ran a bit over 2 years during its first Broadway production and its revival has been running for more than 20 years (without a Jerry Orbach it's been running 10x as long).

The show lost all 11 of its Tony nominations. Probably because it was up against A Chorus Line (although there was no lead actor nominee from A Chorus Line, so really Jerry Orbach had no one to blame but himself).

Regardless, vive Jerry Orbach!

Vive Jerries Orbach!!!

Today's lesson? You can never have enough Jerries Orbach.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Please Mr. Kennedy"



Today's Musical Theater Therapy teams Poe Dameron with Kylo Ren and Justin Timberlake with one of the original songs from Inside Llewyn Davis. The 2013 Coen Brothers movie is loosely based on Dave Van Ronk, a folk singer who was such a mainstay of the Greenwich Village music scene that he was called the Mayor of MacDougal Street (MacDougal Street being in Greenwich Village or the whole thing makes no sense, amirite?).

The songs are diegetic, and performances were captured live either as characters were writing/rehearsing, recording or performing on stage. In this scene, Oscar Isaac (ace pilot for the Resistance Poe Dameron), Adam Driver (Darth Vader's grandson Kyle Ron, err, Rylo Ken doll, err, Kylo Ren), and Justin Timberlake (Sean Parker, founder of Napster [entirely different movie]) write and record "Please Mr. Kennedy," an homage to the novelty song "Mr. Custer."

The movie picked up Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and Best Cinematography from the National Society of Film Critics, and won a few other accolades. It was nominated for a slew of awards, often losing to Gravity, Her, 12 Years a Slave, or American Hustle. Never saw it, but it seems like it would be good.

Today's song is "Please Mr. Kennedy" and today's lesson is that the power of music can bring even Resistance and First Order together in harmony.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Poor Unfortunate Souls"



Musical Theater Therapy still isn't sure what all the fuss is about with respect to "Poor Unfortunate Souls." We love The Little Mermaid, well, we love much of The Little Mermaid.

We love much of The Little Mermaid's music.

Hmmm, we might want to quit while we're ahead...

"Poor Unfortunate Souls" is from Disney's The Little Mermaid, based on the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale The Little Mermaid based on the novel Push by Sapphire. It's the clearest articulation of the recurring Disney motif that girls are nothing without a man, and the best way to get a man is to be pretty and stay out of his way (here it is literally to shut up and be pretty).

None of the boys' cartoons features a man who has to get the girl (they get the girl, to be clear, but that's just a lesser story line to them saving the village; or discovering their role as the true leader of Pride Rock; or to be a mofo (we edited our language) car, racing a bunch of other mofo cars, repeat as needed.

Surprisingly few Disney films pass the Bechdel Test. Those that do often involve "partial credit" or a liberal interpretation of the guidelines. When they pass cleanly it's because the villain is female.

All that being said, Rebel Wilson as Ursula in concert=awesome casting. Ursula is the only Disney character whose inspiration is a member of the opposite sex. Fun fact: Ursula is based on Winston Churchill*.

Today's song is "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and today's lesson is maybe limit the number of Disney movies you let your daughters watch. The patriarchy isn't going to destroy itself... although it's confusing as to what that's the case considering how inept and lecherous the patriarchy is. Seriously Matt Lauer, a remote door lock button under your desk?

Grab them by the pussy? That sounded like a 5th grader who had not actually had sex education yet.

That's the patriarchy, and it's not yet exploded in a burst of stupidity or slipped on a pool of urine from when everyone missed the toilet?

* No, Ursula is based on Divine who is, in turn, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Be Our Guest"



Musical Theater Therapy salutes the man of the year, Jerry Orbach (in the Chinese zodiac it's the year of the dog; for the musical theater zodiac it's the year of the Jerry Orbach), with his performance during the 1992 Academy Awards. The song, "Be Our Guest," is from the 1991 animated musical Beauty and the Beast, based on Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont's mid-18th century adaptation of Gabrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve's early 18th century fairy tale which is, ultimately, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

It was the first animated film nominated for Best Picture and earned Alan Menken 2 of his 8 Academy Awards (3 of them were deserved). It accounts for 4 of his 19 Oscar nominations. And now I've just updated Alan Menken's Wikipedia entry to show "Belle" as a song from a Disney film for which he was nominated for an Oscar but didn't win, and removed "Colors of the Wind" since he did actually win an Oscar for that (one of his 8, 3 deserved).

Between Jerry Orbach and Angela Lansbury, Beauty and the Beast had 2 magnificently talented Broadway performers who also appeared in many episodes of Murder She Wrote (I am just learning of the attempt to launch a spin-off of M,SW starring Orbach and Barbara Babcock--one wonders if they weren't cast because of their rhyming surnames--The Law & Harry McGraw). Given CBS's propensity for launching spin-offs, it's a surprise that TL&HM didn't last. They probably should have added a city name or some initials after the title.

Today's song is "Be Our Guest" and today's lesson is not to overlook the talent on your television. It might be a Broadway legend.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life"



Musical Theater Therapy congratulates Harry and Meghan (kinda, but not really, we were holding out hope Harry would come around and start seeing us again—he's royal but not inbred, and a ginger, 2 things his brother can't claim—but ultimately we knew it wouldn't work with grandma around. Their royal wedding is May 19th.

Meanwhile we've got a Royal Wedding today. The 1951 movie musical, directed by the charming and talented Stanley Donen, starred Fred Astaire and Jane Powell who is adorable here. Why didn't she star in The Fairer Sex?!

While she didn't get that role, she did get this role from June Allyson who proved so inept there. Powell in uninept... quite ept indeed.

Today's song is "How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life" which, much like Prince Harry, is more than a mouthful.

Today's lesson is that compulsive liars tell little lies, often due to low self-esteem, that are mostly harmless; pathological liars, on the other hand, live in an alternative reality of their own creation, lying brazenly and getting defensive when their lies are pointed out... "fake news!" they declare, even when no one else is in the room, which is often the case because, you know, they're so awful.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Yes, Yes"



Pennies From Heaven, the 1981 movie musical, is based on Pennies From Heaven, the 1977 BBC television series that introduced the world to Bob Hoskins and, to a lesser extent, to Cheryl Campbell. The BBC series is based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

The 1981 movie was Steve Martin's follow-up to The Jerk and as Pennies From Heaven was an homage to depression-era movie musicals and NOT a comedy, it was confusing and disappointing to the Steve Martin fans that actually showed up to see it. Per Martin: "I don't know what to blame, other than it's me and not a comedy."

Critics loved the movie (its Rotten Tomatoes score is 84% fresh) with Pauline Kael basically orgasming on to the newsprint calling it the most emotional musical she'd ever seen: "The dance numbers are funny, amazing, and beautiful all at once; several of them are just about perfection."

Fred Astaire, who objected to the movies use of footage of him from Follow The Fleet, said "every scene was cheap and vulgar."

The movie was a flop, earning (in today's dollars) $23 million on a budget of $64 million. The Jerk, from 2 years earlier, earned about $240 million in today's dollars.

It managed 3 Oscar nominations including Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Sound, and Best Costume Design for Bob Mackie. Mackie might not have been a shoe-in, but his costumes, or those for Reds or Ragtime, were probably superior to the winner for Chariots of Fire (although I haven't actually seen that movie so who can say).

Today's song is the Tin Pan Alley song "Yes Yes" by Sam Browne and the Carlyle Cousin from the movie Pennies From Heaven. Today's lesson is that you can't change your milieu radically and still expect your audience to follow.

Song of the Day: "You Broke Up With Me"

You got bro in my country. You got country in my bro.



Song: "You Broke Up With Me"
Artist: Walker Hayes

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "My Favorite Things"



For 15 seconds we were considering using a version of "My Favorite Things" from Dancer in the Dark, Lars Van Trier's dark as fuck musical movie that earned the Golden Palm and Best Actress for Björk at the Cannes Film Festival. Then we re-read the plot and decided that there was no way. We here at Musical Theater Therapy like the occasional dark or realistic musical, but holy shit, not that dark. It's so dark that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association considered the musical a Drama (as opposed to a Musical/Comedy) for purposes of nominations.

So today's "My Favorite Things" comes from exactly the place you'd expect it to come from, the Oscar-winning 1965 movie version of Rodgers & Hammerstein's The Sound of Music, based on the hit Broadway musical The Sound of Music, based on The Story of the Von Trapp Family Singers by Maria Von Trapp (nee Maria Augusta Kutschera), based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

Some call The Sound of Music the fourth greatest movie musical of all time. We assume Grease is the first. (We are just kidding about Grease.)

We also assume you've seen it. And if not the Julie Andrews classic, then you've at least seen the Carrie Underwood mess that NBC produced a few years ago. And if you haven't, 1) ask your parents why you were deprived as a child, and B) Netflix that shit now! Or OnDemand or Amazon Video or iTunes. It's worth the $4. At the very least keep an eye out for it on TCM.

Today's song is "My Favorite Things" and today's lesson is that Lars Von Trier is a clear limit to how dark we will accept musicals here at Musical Theater Therapy.

Song of the Day: "Obsession"

Okay, OK GO, go.



Song: "Obsession"
Artist: OK Go

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Gold"



Is Linda Eder America's version of Sarah Brightman? Don't be silly, Sarah Brightman moves tote bags during PBS pledge drives; Eder merely answers their phones.

Still while Brightman was muse for Andrew Lloyd Webber (still a monster), Eder was muse for Frank Wildhorn's musical Camille Claudel. Or maybe she wasn't, except you probably wouldn't know either way so she was.

Her and Liza Minnelli. They were co-muses.

Fun fact: composer/lyricist Frank Wildhorn also created the show from which Sunday's Musical Theater Therapy session was drawn (oh shit, we were supposed to reduce the amount of forgettable music for a bit, will need to overcompensate for a bit after this).

Funner fact: Camille Claudel was a human person who did things, but you wouldn't know about them (if you even do) if she hasn't slept with a man who was famous. If you don't know, the man was Fred from The Scooby-Doo Mysteries.

Funnest fact: Linda Eder has been nominated for 3 not-a-Tony awards, the Drama Desk Award, the Outer Critics Circle Award, and the Theater World Award. Rosie O'Donnell and Regis Philbin both said she was robbed of a Tony nomination, but I'm thinking it wasn't at gun-point.

Today's song is "Gold" from the musical Claudel Colbertte (or is it). Today's lesson is something about how we're not always putting a lot of thought into these sessions so perhaps you should have a second resource for counseling.

Song of the Day: "Juice"

Chromeo is playing Coachella in April, you going?



Song: "Juice"
Artist: Chromeo

Monday, January 8, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Talk To The Animals"



Doctor Dolittle—the 1967 movie musical adapted from the Dr. Doolittle children's books, which were loosely based on the novel Push by Sapphire—is a case study in the myriad ways a film can fail. It is also a lesson in how enough money can buy a crappy movie a slew of Oscar nominations (and even a couple wins).

Musical Theater Therapy celebrates (kinda) the 50th anniversary (almost, it's actually in April) of the time a movie with a 32% fresh rating managed to keep Cool Hand Luke, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Camelot, Barefoot in the Park, The Dirty Dozen, In Cold Blood, hell, even Two For The Road, from a Best Picture nomination.

The movie starred Rex Harrison when he was in full diva mode after winning an Oscar for My Fair Lady. Harrison anchored his private yacht in one of the shots as a way to extort additional money from the studio. The studio brought Christopher Plummer in to the location to replace Harrison and Rex took the hint and behaved. Still, is it any wonder white guys today wander around with a sense of entitlement when you've got the "anchored your private yacht in the shot to extort more money from the studio" shit as part of our recent history?

A wise person once said "never work with animals or children"–that person was the accountant at 20th Century Fox, and no one listened to him (UPDATE: or her, hash tag check your sexism). Dr. Dolittle was filled with both. Apparently the logistics of wrangling a large variety of animals are difficult to estimate (or are very easy to underestimate). The studio lost about half of the $17 million budget (which was increased from $6 million originally); the loss is equal to about $60 million today.

The loss of studio money on Dr. Dolittle merchandise ended the studio's appetite for future deals. As such, just a few years later 20th Century Fox ceded its interest in merchandising for a little film called Star Wars to its director. George Lucas is worth about $5 billion today, at least in part, because Dr. Dolittle was such a disaster.

What do you do with a musical whose "music is not exceptional" (NY Times), and that Leonard Maltin called a "colossal dud" (though to his credit Maltin recommends the movie to parents with unruly kids as a non-narcotic sleep aid)? A movie released a mere 2 months after the widely acclaimed adaptation of The Jungle Book and a year after The Sound of Music? Why you double down with the first mega campaign for Oscar (Behind the Oscar called the campaign unparalleled). You gotta spend money if you want a crap movie to get nominated.

Today's song is "Talk to the Animals" which is the only marginally redeeming song from the film, and is Leslie Bricusse's only Academy Award (and I literally had to add it to his Wikipedia entry–finally, a chance to upgrade someone instead of acting as a buzzkill) from his 9 nominations (he's responsible for some of the most forgettable Oscar nominated songs of the last 50 years, like that song from Hook and that song from The Godfather III). The song beat "The Look of Love" and "The Bare Necessities" (and 2 other reasonable contenders) for Oscar.

Today's lesson: where talent or merit or quality fail, cash succeeds.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "The Honor Of Your Name"



The Civil War is a musical based on the American Civil War (the "civil" one), also known as the War for States' Rights, also known as the War of Northern Aggression, also known as The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down Over and Over and Over. It's based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

No one even remembers why there was a war*, but everyone agrees that there were good people on both sides**.

The musical is more of a song cycle with limited plot and dialogue. Reviews were generally negative: "generic...without plot and essentially without character" is relatively tame. So naturally the show only picked up 2 Tony nominations, including Best Musical. The 1998/99 season was pretty weak; the show, a revue called It Ain't Nothin' But The Blues, and the unfortunately titled Parade all lost the Fosse, a revue featuring the life's work of Dian Fossey, the primatologist and conservationist***.

The show's been performed in a variety of non-Broadway settings like Ford's Theater (that seems tacky to us here at Musical Theater Therapy), and in Gettysburg (also tacky, surely that place had seen enough carnage). Its cast members included both Larry Gatlin and John Schneider, and a Winans or two.

And my close, personal friend Trisha Yearwood sang a song on the concept album, and it goes a little something like this...

Today's song is "The Honor of Your Name" and today's lesson is that how you describe the American Civil War says a lot about you as a person. And as a racist. And as a person.

* Slavery.
** Not really; that idea is a way for some to try to avoid being called racist when they act in a racist way or support a racist act.
*** We think it was about her.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Welcome To My Apartment"



Month Upon A Time is a song cycle written by Jeff Blumenkrantz; the actor/composer/lyricist/bon vivant who is best known, well, from today's Musical Theater Therapy, probably. Month Upon A Time is a set of original songs, each one related to a month of the year (as opposed to a month of the week, I guess). As Jeff explains at the beginning of the clip... you know what, I'll let you listen for yourself.

It.

Is.

Worth.

It.

Julia Murney has been on Broadway as the 15th Elphaba and the 43rd Elphaba and the 47th Elphaba, and toured, starring as Elphaba in the second touring company of Wicked and starring as Elphaba in the Royal Caribbean Cruises production of Wicked. She also did voice over work for the Spice channel.

Today's song is "Welcome To My Apartment," the October-inspired song from Jeff Blumenkrantz's Month Upon A Time song cycle. Today's lesson: Cocktober isn't a month, it's a state of mind.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Being Good"



Musical Theater Therapy reminds you that, for an authentic look at the Black experience in America from the end of the 19th century up to the Civil Rights struggles of the 1960s, you can't skimp on Jews for your creative team. Some shows tried to provide an authentic depiction of the experiences of Black America with no Jews involved in the book or music. Those shows closed before they got to Boston.

Some shows tried to do this with a single measly Jew. Unless that Jew is Marvin Hamlisch, you're not going to provide the authenticity a sophisticated Broadway audience expects. Two Jews? Almost insultingly light on Jews, even with 2.

It took 4 of the biggest (Jewish) names in Broadway history to create Hallelujah, Baby!--"a chronicle of the African American struggle for equality during the 20th century"--and that show only won 5 of its 9 Tony nominations. If Jule Styne (nee Julius Kerwin Stein), Arthur Laurents (nee Levine), Adolph Green, and Betty Comden (nee Basya Cohen) can't convey that struggle, who can? Their upper west side temple is blocks from Harlem!!! (Like 16 blocks.)

The show was written for Lena Horne but instead starred Leslie Uggams. You know how all those performers look alike, so the first time anyone probably noticed was when they announced the Tony award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical and the presenter was confused at the misspelling of Lena's name.

The show made a star of Uggams (which must be true since both the show's and her Wikipedia entries state this), and she is still a star today. She stars in one of the most hotly anticipated movies of 2018: Untitled Deadpool Sequel 2018.

We are fortunate to have Ed Sullivan to introduce today's song ("Being Good Isn't Good Enough"); not because his Irish heritage means he probably wasn't Jewish, just because it's nice to have someone else set up the song. He doesn't set up Tip and Tap who appear in the second part of the performance. I won't either. Watch it and figure it out for yourself.

Today's lesson: don't skimp on Jews if you want to convey the struggles of the Black American.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again"



Among the current/recent crop of television shows playing in the musical milieu, Nashville is certainly one of them. It begins its sixth, and final, season tonight (the timing on this is perfect only through luck) on CMT (note that CMT once stood for Country Music Television, but, like Music Television, Video Hits One, Cartoon Network and Game Show Network, the channel's executives realized they had more programming flexibility by using the initials and abandoning the idea that they were ever exclusively focused on a certain type of programming... that MTV still has the Video Music Awards, which requires videos to be played on MTV in order to be eligible to be nominated for/win a VMA and then doesn't play videos is one of the great Catch-22s of our time).

Musical Theater Therapy salutes the show's endurance: ABC cancelled the show after the fourth season, but the cast was able to rally viewers to support the save the show with the not-at-all clever #BringBackNashville hashtag (we find the idea that hashtags actually accomplish anything to be #AdorablyLaughable but sure, go ahead and tell Boko Haram to #BringBackOurGirls because, as terrorists, they care a lot about what's trending on Twitter), and thanks to a syndication deal with Hulu they added 2 more seasons to the show.

We cynically wondered whether or not the Hayden Planetarium, which is part of The Frederick Phineas and Sandra Priest Rose Center for Earth and Space (based on the novel Push by Sapphire) was doing its own singing. Then we were told that 1) the planetarium was not in the show, it was Hayden Panettiere who is not only an actress, but also a model and singer and a Grammy nominee and far more talented than anyone here at MTT World HQ, so we will stop being so cynical (no we won't).

Today's song is "Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again"--a poignant ballad that is, thus far, the show's only song nominated for the Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Music and Lyrics. It lost to one of the wonderfully gay songs from the Tony Awards (probably).

Today's lesson is to tune in to the beginning of the final season of Nashville on January 4th and also not to expect Boko Haram to be very responsive to your hashtag campaign... despite the success of Nashville.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Popular"



Musical Theater Therapy considers the question "what's more important than being popular?"

Not having a house land on you, for one.

We were about to add something about not needing to fake your own death, but then we realized that is basically tied in to being popular. Popular people do not have to fake their own deaths. In our experience anyway...

Today's song is "Popular" from the hit musical Wicked based on Gregory Maguire's Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West which is based on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum which is, as you might expect, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

Is it an allegory about the difficulties one encounters when one isn't an able-bodied straight white heterosexual dude, often at the hands of able-bodied straight white heterosexual dudes? I don't know, Hillary Rodham Clinton, is it?

In 2016 Hillary Clinton won which vote again? It wasn't the Electoral College it was the ______ vote.

Wicked has been running on Broadway since Fall 2003. It's on track to become the 7th longest running show in Broadway history (it will pass Oh! Calcutta! in early 2018). It's one of very few shows to pass a billion dollars in ticket sales and is second behind the Lion King as Broadway's highest grossing show of all time. And in all that time did Hillary Clinton see it even once?

Apparently not.

Today's song is "Popular" from Wicked. Today's lesson is that the popular vote isn't worth shit if you don't campaign seriously in the rust belt. And today's lesson is you can't take minority voters for granted. And today's lesson is you can't take progressive voters for granted. And today's lesson is also not to use a private email server no matter what bullshit reason you think is going to fool us.

Song of the Day: "Walk on Water"

Eminem and Beyonce, Beyonce and Eminem... here we go.



Song: "Walk on Water"
Artist: Eminem/Beyonce

Monday, January 1, 2018

Musical Theater Therapy: "Mein Herr"



We here at Musical Theater Therapy were torn as to whether we gave 2017 its kiss off on the last day of 2017, or if that would end up cursing us by presuming things couldn't get worse in the last 18 hours of the year (or possibly of human existence). We're not superstitious like that, but c'mon, why tempt fate?!

Also when you factor in the largely forgettable nature of the past week of songs, you'll agree that we need to kick of 2018 with some solid music, and up first is "Mein Herr" from the movie version of Cabaret.

When Bob Fosse directed the movie version of Cabaret (1972), some substantial changes from the stage production were made: the older couple were out, replaced by sexy young characters; all of the non-diegetic songs were excised (when anyone's singing everyone within the show can hear and see it happening, it's not some imagined monologue for the audience to better understand someone's motivations)--everything is performed in the Kit Kat Klub except for one song performed by Future Nazis of America (or whatever) in a bier garden, a precursor to white dudes in khakis carrying tiki torches in Charlottesville; Sally is talented (she is not in the original staging) and American, while Cliff is super gay, I mean British (the nationalities reversed).

Cabaret holds the record for the most Oscars (8) won by a movie that didn't win Best Picture (it lost that and Best Adapted Screenplay to The Godfather). Bob Fosse's Oscar, plus his 2 Emmys for Liza with a Z, plus 2 Tonys he won for Pippin in the same year make Fosse the answer to the question that gets you aboard the secret Republican gay cruise on American Dad. Cabaret is the 9th live action movie musical preserved by the National Film Registry, and while it's not a feel-good movie, it's a damn good movie.

"Mein Herr" is one of 2 new songs written for the movie ("Maybe This Time" was already written and added to the movie)--all 3 songs have been added to the stage productions that followed. We dedicate the song to the shitty year 2017. It's our way of breaking up with the year (even though we couldn't have stayed together if we tried).

2016 was a brutal year and some people were optimistic that 2017 would be better. Those people were wrong: 2017 was horrible. Today's lesson: don't expect anything except misery--you'll never be disappointed!