Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Claire Danes... in a role that will surprise you

Claire Danes / Louise Linton
Coming this fall to Crackle, #WhiteSavior The Story of How Wealth and Beauty Combined to Save Africa and Then Made America Great Again #YouRWelcome #Crackle, the harrowing yet heart-warming #prada true* story of how a hot** young*** #burberry actress****/writer***** went to Africa #hermes, saved all the African AIDS babies and stuff, then #DKNY returned to America #D&G and fixed the economy #YSL for all the thankless fat chicks in sweat pants #Dior who are even poor yet somehow they get to be on the internet #LV.

Also starring Emmy winner Eric McCormack, or possibly the re-animated corpse of Tony winner Jerry Orbach, as Stephen Mnuchin, the billionaire (oh, makes sense now does it?) husband of the blonde savior of Africa AND America by which we mean the United States of... Also he is nearly 20 years older than her but we are confident that she married him for his looks and that he married her for her emotional maturity and social media savvy.

Crackle: we are too still around

* "true" is not used in the technical sense
** "hot" is not meant to convey attractiveness or warmth
*** "young" is meant relative to the Earth's age since the character is over 30 which, for women in Hollywood, is a no-fly zone
**** While the protagonist has, technically, performed in non-pornographic movies, her at-the-time boyfriend did pay the producers of at least one movie to include here, so "actress" yes; professional actress, no.
***** She is a published writer.
***** She is a self-published writer.
***** She is a self-published co-writer. "Life was idyllic at first. But I soon learned that Africa is rife with hidden danger. I witnessed random acts of violence, contracted malaria and had close encounters with lions, elephants, crocodiles and snakes." It's like In and Out of Africa!!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Sunday, August 20, 2017

"Is there a cover charge?"

Jordan didn't pick up on that being a reference to a scene from Arrested Development's third season "Notapusy" so I'm including it here. I used it when, after inviting me to an event, he pointed out that there would be a shortage of females which might not be a problem for me so long as I was into mid-20s lumberjacks and electricians, to which I said "is there a cover charge?"

Hilarity ensued.

Song of the Day: "Replica"

I've had a good week with music, hearing or re-hearing some really fantastic recent works. The xx is among them, and this latest album is stellar.

Song: "Replica"
Artist: The xx