Saturday, December 2, 2017

Musical Theater Therapy: "Stay With Me"

One of the recurring motifs here at Musical Theater Therapy is the assertion that most jukebox musicals are a mess. But something is only a mess if it's a mess in the eye of the beholder*.

One of the ways to understand whether or not you see a mess or a (what's the opposite of a mess? a clean? order?) work of art, is to use a projective assessment. Let's do that now.

Watch this song--"Stay With Me" from Tonight's the Night, the 2003 jukebox musical built around the songs of Rod Stewart--and then consider this question: if this musical was a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would it be, and why? Leave your answer in the comments.

Fun fact: Rod Stewart once had 14 gallons of semen pumped from his stomach. The human stomach can only accommodate one liter of liquid, and just one gallon of semen contains 256 loads of cum (the average load of cum is one heaping tablespoon, we all learned that in freshman biology class) which means nearly 3,600 loads were consumed in rapid succession. The logistics of this are staggering.

Funner fact: this is a true story, but it's a different (non-famous) Rod Stewart.
Funnest fact: this is not a true story, but the Richard Gere story is totally true, except it was Richard Gear from LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

I am a bit crestfallen that there is not a character named Maggie May in the credits, but heartened that there is a character named Satan.

Today's song is "Stay With Me" from Tonight's the Night. Today's lesson: that one gallon of semen is 256 ejaculations (on average). You didn't know that, did you?

* Note: this is actually not true. There are things there are objectively a mess regardless of whether or not you, personally, like the taste of that particular shit sandwich. Cats is at the top of that list, although with 5 more weeks like this the Donald Trump presidency will pass it.

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