Wednesday, August 2, 2017

More Like 25 Words

CheatSheet, which is a website or something (maybe it's an aspirational sticky lifestyle brand, maybe a curated immersive platform for the alt-right), published a piece titled "11 Words You Should Never Say in a Job Interview" (here) and that seemed like the kind of thing I would find useful (unless it put these words in my head to avoid thus subconsciously inspiring me to say them, but what are the odds that could ever happen?!!!). Rather than force you to endure the click bait, there is their list:

  1. Always
  2. Never
  3. Uh, um, like
  4. For sure!
  5. Yep, yeah, nope, nah
  6. Dude, man, bro
  7. I don’t know
  8. %#@!
  9. If that makes sense
  10. So, yeah
  11. Awesome
Are they fucking kidding? That's more than 11 words.

In fact, it's 24 words plus a few punctuation marks used together to convey an expletive like fuck or shit or cunt (I'm guessing). Pussies. 

Side note: if they'd just titled the piece "Words and Phrases to Avoid in a Job Interview" it would have saved me so much effort (full disclosure: actual effort expended, approx. 18 minutes).

Here are a few different examples of 11 words I think you should really avoid in a job interview. And I challenge you to prove me wrong (by using any one of these and getting a job offer--go for it!):
  • "But you’re just a chick. Where is the actual hiring manager?"
  • "I just pissed in the hallway. That’s how I roll, bitches."
  • "Why give him the job if he’s going to recuse himself?"
  • "Y’all cool with me doing my MLM thing in the office?"

Got some to share? Put it in the comments below.

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