Saturday, November 12, 2016

Fucking Voter Apathy

A state-by-state breakdown of changes in voter turnout doesn't really make the point, but it's a pretty infographic.

An estimated 52% of registered voters actually voted on Tuesday.

Fuck all y'all who didn't.

Fewer than 150,000 voters made the difference between electing a Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche.

Someone once said that love trumps hate. They forgot that apathy trumps both. I'm certain Corey Booker or Elizabeth Warren might have helped.

So Many People, So Much Stupidity

Less than two days after Donald Trump stunned the world and defeated Hillary Clinton in the presidential race, the new president-elect is proving that his entire campaign was a massive con job meant to rile up just enough voters to win a general election.
Prior to Tuesday’s vote, Trump promised that – if he won – he would immediately instruct his attorney general to “look into [Hillary Clinton’s email] situation,” adding that the former Secretary of State would “be in jail” if he were president.
He repeatedly implied that Clinton should be taken care of through violent means, whether it’s “Second Amendment people” rising up against her or her bodyguards disarming so we could “see what happens to her.”
Once the results of Tuesday’s election came in, though, Trump said the country owes Clinton a “major debt of gratitude for her service to our country.”
Lock her up, lock her up? Nope, not anymore.--Sean Colarossi at PoliticsUSA
Oh for fuck's sake.

Donald Trump does not have an Attorney General yet.

It's only been 3 days. Regardless of how many things he flip-flopped on, he can always flip-flop back.

He's always said a lot of shit, why was anyone expecting it to stop now?

Always Remember...

With Apologies to Pastor Martin Niemöller

First, they came for the guns. Only they didn't actually come for the guns, but we (and by "we" I mean working- and middle-class white Americans, the real Americans, the only Americans that matter) did nothing. And by "did nothing" I mean we did nothing but complain about how they were coming for our guns.

Luckily we could afford to go buy more guns.

I mean a LOT more guns. Just a shit ton of guns. We bought 'em. You can't spell patriot without g-u-n. I mean, not those letters, but you can use a gun to shoot the word patriot into the side of some Muslim family's house.

Then they came to enact Sharia Law. Only they didn't actually come to enact Sharia Law which, to be honest, we couldn't actually explain to you if you asked, but all we know is that we refuse to have a religious law define how we live as Americans, which is why we demand the Ten Commandments (which we hope you don't ask us to enumerate) at all our courthouses. Because we can't name all ten commandments there's no way we can tell you how many of those are actually part of Sharia Law or how many are legal or illegal. But we do know that the Sabbath ends with the coin flip.

And then we bought more guns. Because, you know, you can never have too many guns.

Then they continued their war on Christmas. How dare they call the Christmas tree a holiday tree. Jesus was crucified on a Christmas tree for your sins!!! I mean, he wasn't, at all, and, in fact, that tree is technically a false idol per the Ten Commandments we don't know or follow (but that we still pretend to revere). Jeremiah was more than a bullfrog and the Old Testament is more than just Leviticus.

They stole the baby Jesus's birthday from us! No one ever speaks of Christmas. Which is why we bought more guns. We have to protect our way of life. A way of life that ignores a commandment and undermines the teachings of the dude we pretend to celebrate in an orgy of excess and flat screen TVs.

You're gonna need more guns to protect that.

Then they took our jobs. They took 'em. Whatever you do, don't blame the person who hired them (your Lou Dobbs or your Mittens Romney or your Donald Trump) because chances are they are just greedy white men who want to keep as much of their hard-earned/inherited money as they can. Is that a crime? I mean, the wanting to keep the money--the hiring of undocumented workers is actually a crime and, if they weren't white men with money, they might actually be held accountable for that.

But this is America. and America is for winners, and being born into money automatically makes you a winner. And what do winners (and people who want to be winners) need more than anything? The love of Jesus Guns!

OMG OMG OMG then they came to redistribute the wealth. Remember that?!!! All that wealth redistribution by the super socialist non-American Obama! If you were smart you listened to Glenn Beck and invested all your money in the Gold Line coins. Only because he's also weak and stupid, that wealth redistribution shifted more wealth into the hands of the wealthy. Sorry blacks. Shoulda got a better usurper in chief. Maybe one who was all black, not some half-black Kenyan faker.

So when you (or someone you asipre to be) has even more wealth, what can you do but buy more guns? Nothing.

So we bought more guns.

And then they came for the guns again, only, just like last time, they didn't come for the guns at all.

So now we need to stop the Muslims, to keep them from taking our freedoms. How dare they think they can come here for freedom of religion.


Shhh, you hear that? I think they're coming for our guns. Better reload and get more.

Song of the Day: "Isn't It True"

The dude from Mazzy Star (because dude is not gender-specific)...

Song: "Isn't It True"
Artist: Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions

Friday, November 11, 2016

Imagine My Surprise

I feel like I've been staring out the window at these buffoons who were so out of touch with the reality of their candidate and laughing because it meant that their party would be torn apart when they lost horribly. That they would be sore losers, protesting from the minute the results were in.

Then I realized it wasn't a window, just a fucking mirror

Song of the Day: "Blended Family"


Song: "Blended Family"
Artist: Alicia Keys/A$AP Rocky

Thursday, November 10, 2016

What They Said: "Play for Today"

Life is a secret, death is a myth
Love is a fraud, it's misunderstood
Work is a sentence, family's a drag
This house is a trap

Oh Irony, You're a Bitch

It sucks to have all the stuff and feel like you don't have any of the stuff because of all the minorities. Donald Trump will fix that because, reasons.

And we will all bask in the glow of a newly re-great America, as Jesus described in the Bible and stuff.

The antonym of disenfranchise is enfranchise.

Mood Music: "Fell On Black Days"

Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck.

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

I am in a weird place emotionally. Geographically too. Spiritually. This fucking year.

There's probably a lesson that I'm not learning, something about expectations, plans, my ability to control things.

My inability to control things.

David's leaving a week from Saturday. I know he's worried about leaving me here alone, but it's important for both of us that he does. He's been both an invaluable help to me these last 6 years, but he's also been a source of frustration. He's here because I needed help when Clark was hospitalized for 2 weeks back in 2010. He helped. He's done everything I've asked, but fuck if grown men can't just get along with each other like they're fucking adults.

Maybe someone has hidden microcameras in the trim of the bathroom. Or created an EMF web that fucks with your skin. Maybe. It just seems more ambitious that the idiots who live with me but sure, maybe.

"Do you really think he was trying to kill Clark?" I was asked in Dallas. How the fuck can someone answer that question?

For what it's worth, the feeling was mutual.

And yet despite all this perceived harm, neither of them considered moving off to someplace safe.

I didn't watch the election returns Tuesday night. I had confidence that in order for Trump to win he'd need to pick up a variety of key states all of which he trailed in. Perhaps if I'd watched, seen the dominos falling one by one, I wouldn't have been so freaked out to wake the next morning to see how definitive his victory had been.

And unlike a Hillary Clinton win, there's no way this win was rigged. None. Because that's just sore fucking loser talk now.

America has elected a fucking idiot. Christians prayed to Jesus and he delivered the lying, greedy adulterer America deserves as its President.

At least he's not black.

And he's not a billionaire.

Or he wasn't. He will be soon enough.

This fucking year.

Leonard Cohen died today. Less than a month ago he said he was ready to die. I said I was ready for him to die too. Not that I have a problem with him, not in the least--I just feel like if he's ready, I'm okay with that. It's a courtesy I would like from others, but I don't expect it. People call suicide selfish, but I think the people who call it selfish are the selfish ones. "Live with your misery so I don't have to cope with losing you." Sweet.

I've never been a big Leonard Cohen fan, but I developed respect for him the same place I developed respect (respect that is very much deserved, to be clear) for Laura Nyro: during the movie A Home at the End of the World. I was deeply moved by the film and am frustrated that Colin Farrell's performance didn't garner end-of-the-year accolades. Roger Ebert's review covers it well. The movie features one song from Cohen, 2 from Laura Nyro & LaBelle (although I think they were still Patti LaBelle & the Bluebells then), 2 from Dylan, and a few other classic tracks (The Band, Jefferson Airplane). The official soundtrack lacks many of those but supplements  with new Duncan Shiek music. None of that's important right now...

Songs don't get any more anthemic than "Halleluah". And few can do justice to the song as well as k.d. lang. So just fucking bask in it. Respect.

Rest in peace dude.

Song of the Day: "Versace on the Floor"

New Bruno.

This fucking year...

Song: "Versace on the Floor"
Artist: Bruno Mars

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

This Fucking Year Continues

God damn I hate this country sometimes.

Song of the Day: "Avalanche"

I've never heard of this band before tonight (when all I heard was their initials). They have a math rock quality I'm digging.

Song: "Avalanche"
Artist: Bring Me the Horizon

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Song of the Day: "Lionhearted"

Billie Marten, who is a person, was just named one of 2016's Best New Bands. Hey, if Bono can be a Woman of the Year, you can too.

Song: "Lionhearted"
Artist: Billie Marten

Monday, November 7, 2016

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Song of the Day: "Drug Dealer"

Macklemore continues to craft honest songs mined directly from his personal struggles.

And in doing so, to appear naked in the associated promotional video.

Ryan Lewis is, presumably, still around too. It's not clear.

So it's all win/win from my perspective.

Song: "Drug Dealer"
Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis/Ariana Deboo