Saturday, November 26, 2016

The Annotated List of Nicknames Given by War Criminal George W. Bush

(h/t Total Frat Move) America's fratty-as-fuck-est President (although technically he lost both the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections) is a 3-strike felon, a war criminal, a criminal against peace, a drunk, a recovering cocaine addict (or perhaps a cocaine addict), some kind of envoy (player? pawn?) between the C.I.A. and the Bin Laden family (the Bush and Bin Laden families have a rich history starting decades before 9/11 and continuing to this day, and while I don't think he's smart enough to actually become an operative on his own, he's certainly smart enough to take advantage of the myriad connections to the company, via granddad and dad, via Skull & Bones, when they offer to bankroll him or bail him out), and bad with names.

I think it's what happens when you're a C-student and don't really care about other people. I get that. I am that.

Here are more than 60 nicknames given to 58 individuals by W. Not all of them are clever, but they all underscore his lack of interest in learning people's names. I get that.

  • Ali – Barbara Boxer, Democratic Senator, California
  • Ari-Bob – White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer
  • Bama, Rock – Barack Obama, former Democratic Senator, Illinois, Bush’s successor as President of the United States
  • Bandar Bush – Bandar bin Sultan, ambassador to the United States from Saudi Arabia
  • Big Boy – Chris Christie, former United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey, current Governor of New Jersey
  • Big Country – Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Joe Allbaugh
  • Big George – George Miller, Democratic Congressman, California
  • Big O (current), Pablo (former) – Secretary of the Treasury Paul O’Neill
  • Big Time, Vice – Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States of America
  • Boner – John Boehner, former Republican Majority Leader, current Speaker of the House
  • Boy Genius, Turd Blossom – Senior Advisor Karl Rove
  • Brother George – CIA Director George Tenet
  • Brownie – Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael D. Brown
  • Bullets – Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman
  • Bushie – Laura Bush (this is a mutual nickname)
  • Condy, Guru – Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
  • Congressman Kickass – John Sweeney, Republican Congressman, New York
  • Danny Boy, Dan the Man – Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Bartlett
  • Dino (short for Dinosaur) – Jean Chr├ętien, Prime Minister of Canada
  • Ellis – Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer, Democratic Senator, New York
  • Flies on the Eyeballs Guy – Director of the CIA Counterterrorist Center Cofer Black
  • Frazier – Dianne Feinstein, Democratic Senator, California
  • Freddy Boy, Freddo – Fred Upton, Republican Congressman from Michigan
  • Fredo – Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
  • High Prophet, Hurricane Karen – Karen Hughes, Special Advisor; Director of Communications under Texas Governor George W. Bush
  • Hogan – John McCain, Republican Senator, Arizona
  • Horny – White House Speechwriter Jonathan Horn
  • Izzy, Altoid Boy – Special Assistant Israel Hernandez (for his role as provider of breath mints to the President on the campaign trail)
  • Kenny Boy – Kenneth Lay
  • La Margarita – Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings
  • Landslide – Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
  • Light Bulb – National Energy Policy Development Group Executive Director Andrew D. Lundquist
  • Man of Steel – John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia
  • Mikey – Mike Emanuel, Fox News
  • Benator (current), Nellie (former), Benney (former) – Ben Nelson, Democratic Senator, Nebraska
  • Pablo – Paul Wellstone, Democratic Senator, Minnesota
  • Panchito – Frank Bruni, reporter who covered Bush campaign in 2000 for the New York Times
  • Pedro – Peter King, Republican Congressman from New York
  • Pootie-Poot, Ostrich Legs – Vladimir Putin, President and former Prime Minister of Russia
  • Poppy, 41, Old Man – George H. W. Bush
  • Red – Adam Putnam, Republican Congressman, Florida
  • Rosey – appointee Jack Rosen
  • Rummy – Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
  • Sabertooth – Barney Frank, Democratic Congressman, Massachusetts
  • Shades – Peter Wallsten, blind reporter for the Los Angeles Times
  • Shoes – Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy
  • Sit Room Guy – White House Situation Room Director James P. Wisecup
  • Stretch – Dick Kyle, Bloomberg News
  • Stretch/Little Stretch – David Gregory, NBC
  • Super Stretch – Bill Sammon, then of The Washington Times, now of The Washington Examiner
  • Tangent Man – White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card
  • The Blade, My Man Mitch – Office of Management and Budget Director Mitch Daniels
  • The Cobra – Maureen Dowd
  • The Englishman – Peter McMahon, husband of Dana Perino
  • The World’s Greatest Hero – Secretary of State Colin Powell
  • Tiny – Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage
  • Tree Man – Bush’s unnamed Forest Services official
  • Weadie, Weadnik – author Doug Weadre

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