Saturday, December 31, 2016

Song of the Day: "Mr. Apples"

I was surprised to see a new album from Madness among 2016's releases. I'm happy to hear this track--it's exactly what I would have hoped from Madness + 30-something years. A maturity to their sound but still in the musical space I've relegated them to (they may hate being Ska/New Wave at this point, but that's their problem). It's win/win!

Song: "Mr. Apples"
Artist: Madness

Friday, December 30, 2016

Song of the Day: "Young Death"

My past experience with Burial was good. The new release is a 2 track 12" which is perfectly acceptable in the post-album era of music.

Song: "Young Death"
Artist: Burial

Thursday, December 29, 2016

IGTOFTS: Maybe They Meant Next Year

I am a grown ass man who does a pretty good job of keeping track of my medium-level secure passwords (always coupled with two-factor authentication [which wouldn't possibly be undermined by something like Pushbullet] for nearly every website I use regularly.

The problem site? My wireless company's site.

Today when struggling to reset the password (using Pushbullet to copy the temporary password and paste it in a browser window, so human error shouldn't have been an issue) \the site told me was wrong enough times that I got locked out. That's not even the interesting part of the story.

Once in, I went to change an account setting that I couldn't change yesterday online OR in the store (I would have had to sit on hold some amount of time) I got this lovely message.

In all fairness, they didn't specify the year.

Song of the Day: "Close to You"

I'm listening to some recommended albums from 2016 this afternoon. This track closes out the regular release of Rihanna's ANTI (the deluxe version has 3 additional tracks).

The regular release is what I have via hoopla, so here we are.

Song: "Close to You"
Artist: Rihanna

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Song of the Day: "How Far I'll Go"

In case Lin-Manuel Miranda has room on his award shelf (shelves), he's in the mix for a Golden Globe and Oscar for this track from Disney's Moana.

Song: "How Far I'll Go"
Artist: Auli'i Cravalho

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Song of the Day: "Faith"

Stevie Wonder, Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic, and Francis Farewell Starlite (from Francis and the Lites) share the Golden Globe nomination for Best Original Song. Ariana Grande shares vocal duties with Wonder (who is unrecognizable for most of the song).

Song: "Faith"
Artist: Stevie Wonder/Ariana Grande

Monday, December 26, 2016

Song of the Day: "City of Stars"

By all accounts, Moonlight is a profoundly touching and exceptionally well-made film. La La Land is a glossy, feel-good musical starring very good looking white people (and John Legend [same thing, basically]). La La Land is universally acclaimed, but Moonlight is universally acclaimed-er, like 3-points more on a 0-to-100 scale. Guess which movie I'm predicting to sweep the Oscars... did I mention Moonlight stars a bunch of actors who look like actual people (as opposed to exceptionally good looking people)?

And they're black.

And Donald Trump is our President Elect. So suck it up, cry baby, this is America now.

Actually that probably helps La La Land's chances what with musicals traditionally helping America forget the bullshit of the world, from The Wizard of Oz easing America's apprehensions about World War 2 to Chicago easing America's reluctance to invade a country that had nothing to do with 9/11  (note that they never seem to encourage us to change shit in a serious way).

Long story short: white people! Especially the very attractive ones!! And there's no way this will end up like this or this. (At this point that last statement is true--those other movies were savaged and they starred white people too.)

Song: "City of Stars"
Artist: Ryan Gosling/Emma Stone

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Song of the Day: "Faded"

There are 64 hexagrams represented in the I Ching, an ancient Chinese secret divination tract (not sure what that is). The work has inspired a group of musicians to write and record a song corresponding with each hexagram. This track pairs Cotton Mather with Nicole Atkins and came to my attention via a PR email. I'm glad I gave it some attention because even though I've done a shitty job of explaining the creation of this song, it's really nice. 

Lots of my peeps should like it. 

Like really like it.

Song: "Faded"
Artist: Cotton Mather/Nicole Atkins

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Song of the Day: "Horace and Pete"

The closing credits song from Horace and Pete is powerful in its simplicity: spare, melancholic. A reminder, at least for me, that Simon is every bit as skilled with next to nothing as he is with an excess of riches.

Song: "Horace and Pete"
Artist: Paul Simon

Friday, December 23, 2016

These Turned Out Okay

They look good, but I probably didn't need to splurge on the rounded corners. I probably should have gone for a larger size (this is a general editorial note to myself) but I'm glad I didn't because this content is going to seem really dated by March.

Fuck I hope it's going to seem dated by then. Otherwise the shittiness of 2016 is still a thing going on in March? Which I guess is better than 2017 being even worse, right?

Oh man we are fucked.

Seasonal Selections: "Woodland Critter Christmas"

It's easy to overlook how much the evil geniuses behind South Park really own Christmas (and have for more than 2 decades). "Woodland Critter Christmas" is a loving homage to John Denver and the Muppets.

And Satan.

Hail Santa.

Woodland Critter Christmas (South Park)

Song of the Day: "The Veil"

Peter Gabriel received a Grammy nomination for Best Song Written for Visual Media for this track from Oliver Stone's Snowden.

Song: "The Veil"
Artist: Peter Gabriel

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Seasonal Selections: "Bitter On Christmas"

This is really just a page for me to post the video I made earlier.

Song of the Day: "My Name is Human"

I'm listening through some Grammy nominees with whom I'm unfamiliar. I am surprised at how much I'm enjoying this track from Highly Suspect. It's nominated for Rock Song (all 3 band members have writing credit, so while it's not technically a band nomination, every member of the band shares in the nomination), and follows 2 nominations for the band last year.

Song: "My Name is Human"
Artist: Highly Suspect

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Song of the Day: "Heathens"

The soundtrack from Suicide Squad picked up 5 Grammy nominations. Where were you Liza?

This track, one of those (duh) is one of Twenty-One Pilot's 3 nominations this year (Rock Performance). "Stressed Out" earned Record of the Year and Pop Duo/Group Performance nominations. [Tyler Joseph, the main dude from the band, has 2 additional nominations for writing this track.]

Song: "Heathens"
Artist: Twenty-One Pilots

Ashes or An Even Fresher Hell!

For a few weeks, people have been writing their summaries of the shittiness that is 2016. I've done my best to point out that there's still time for more awfulness.

In that time Florence Henderson, John Glenn, Alan Thicke and Zsa Zsa Gabor (to name just 4) died; 17 US intelligence agencies have declared that Russia intervened in our Presidential election (NOTE: the US has at least 17 intelligence agencies, and despite billions of dollars, the best we got from them is an after-the-fact assertion that Russia intervened in our Presidential election... seriously); the President-Elect has no interest in any of this Russia intervention bullshit; ISIS attacked Berlin; someone was assassinated in Turkey; major shit happened in Aleppo; and a bunch of people were killed at a fucking fireworks market in Mexico. That's just off the top of my head.

There's still 11 days left.

The thing that I'm now trying to grapple with is even more gloomy: what if 2017 is worse? I don't have an answer for that.

When I started this post, my intention was to write about a piece from Rosanne Cash's Bodies of Water. She describes a New Year's celebration where each member of her family writes things from the preceding year they want to leave behind on a small piece of paper, and those pieces of paper are folded and tossed into the fireplace. I always liked the idea, but I've never tried it myself.

My understanding about the origin of Burning Man involved fire as catharsis.

OMG as luck would have it, my search for "fire as catharsis" and then "fire as cleansing" yielded information about a Gypsy ritual to free oneself from negativity. It's the Rosanne Cash thing (the second part is the Rosanne Cash thing!!!).
Rosemary, lavender, juniper branches, myrtle, or bay. 
Toss bundles of each of the herbs listed into the flames of a fire. let its energy cleanse you. Let it feed your spirit, and free you from negativity. Let the fire lull you into a trance, and as you go deeper into the flames, whisper the burdens that lay heavy on your heart.  
You can even write on slips of fresh paper the things that you want to release from your life, and then toss them into the flames. 
It's worth a shot (he said, foolishly tempting fate).

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Song of the Day: "Don't Let Me Down"

It turns out I may have heard one of the nominees for Best Dance Recording before. This sound vaguely familiar and I know I've seen the Chainsmokers' name a few times this past year.

Song: "Don't Let Me Down"
Artist: The Chainsmokers/Daya

Monday, December 19, 2016

Song of the Day: "Never Be Like You"

Another of the 5 nominees for Best Dance Recording. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm familiar with 0 of the 5.

And as I mentioned yesterday, dance? For reals?

Song: "Never Be Like You"
Artist: Flume/Kai

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Song of the Day: "Drinkee"

Another of the 5 Grammy nominees for Best Dance Recording. I am familiar with 0 of the 5.

Again, dance?

Song: "Drinkee"
Artist: Sofi Tukker

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Song of the Day: "Tearing Me Up"

I'm checking out some of the Grammy nominated music with which I'm unfamiliar. First up, Bob Moses's nomination for Best Dance Recording.

Dance? For reals? He's no Al Walser.

Song: "Tearing Me Up"
Artist: Bob Moses

Friday, December 16, 2016

Song of the Day: "Wicked"

The song is called "Wicked" because calling it "Wicked, Wicked, Wicked, Wicked, Wicked" would just be weird.

Song: "Wicked"
Artist: Future

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Seasonal Selections: The Ref

I was excited to see The Ref when it opened and was surprised it wasn't a bigger hit. At the very least they should have released it near Christmas and worked the Hollywood Foreign Press for some Golden Globe attention. The movie's cast includes Oscar, Emmy and Tony-winning actors, and Denis Leary.

The Ref

It's a Christmas movie the same way Die Hard is a Christmas movie; which is to say it's a Christmas movie.

At the time Kevin Spacey was not well known, but he was on my radar after he rocked Glengarry Glen Ross (okay, Alec Baldwin rocked it, Spacey just bested Jack Lemmon, Al Pacino, Ed Harris and other fine actors). Judy Davis had just lost an Oscar to Marisa Tomei (her second loss) but not yet picked up any of her Emmys. They are both fantastic actors and watching them spar is a gift no matter what the season.

Glynis Johns, Christine Baranski, BD Simmons and JK Wong are just icing on the cake. And Denis Leary is in the movie as well.

Ho ho, you hoes.

Me + Trump Inauguration = Perfect

If you listen to the lame stream media, you'd think that Donald Trump's inauguration team is struggling to secure big name performers for his inauguration. Obviously, that's wrong because, hello, Jackie Enchavo, winner of American Voice in 2014.

I feel like it's important for me to get a message through to Boris Epshteyn, a man totally at peace with his Semitic heritage and the Director of Communications for the Trump Inauguration Committee (a subsidiary of the Trump Organization).

That message? I am available to perform at the inauguration.

I'm offended that I haven't been asked, but I figure they assume I'm too busy.

Here's why I'm the perfect performer for the inauguration of Donald Trump:

  • I'm a white guy. When black guys perform they can sing the exact same song note for note with perfect pitch, the same way the song has been sung thousands of times in the past, but we all know, deep down, that there's something not real American about them and the song (even when it's the exact same song... especially when it's the exact same song). That's because they're secretly using Arabic symbols to keep time in the music. And women who perform, well you just can't trust them. When has a white guy ever fucked up? Never, that's when.
  • I have no aptitude for, nor experience with, this role. Based on the selection of Rick Perry, also a white guy, as Secretary of Oops, this means I meet the specifications.
  • I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler. You're not either. We probably have no idea what the fair price for a new muffler is, but we both agree that paying a lot for one is for losers. I'm no loser, I'm a white guy. And since we agree on the muffler purchase thing, obviously, the inauguration too, am I right?
  • I am not stupid enough to eschew payment up front. Many people sue Donald Trump because he doesn't pay them for their work, but Trump explained that it's okay to not pay someone if you don't like the work that they did (and while American jurisprudence will tell you otherwise, I don't see American jurisprudence being inaugurated as president--also it's kind of weird that the savvy businessman would keep using shitty contractors [I keep using trusted providers over and over like an amateur]). But I promise not to sue for nonpayment because I will take my payment up front ($170,000 plus $250/day per diem plus first class non-stop airfare between Portland and a Washington DC airport--lodging not required as I will stay with Allison and Jared). It streamlines the whole process (USA Freedom Girls still waiting for their day in court... suckers).
  • I'm not going to be one of these sluts or bitches (the sluts being the women who have sex with Donald Trump; the bitches, the ones who don't) when it comes to Donald Trump. Chances are he won't hit on me, and if he does, I am prepared to do to him what he is going to do to this country: make it great it again. Like a sweaty, selfish boss.
  • I don't require a lot of special effects or wardrobe people or even musicians. I'll wear what I've got on (or maybe something clean) and I'll just sing along to whatever's on the 70s/80s/90s dentist office radio station: Elton, Shania, Michael Bolton, Mambo #5, Celine... yeah, I'll go there, I'll do the Celine stuff. And I won't try to rap.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm the not just the performer this inauguration needs, I'm the one it deserves.

Also, and I can't stress this enough, white guy!

Song of the Day: "Lost Somebody"

A Tribe Called Quest picked a good time to release this album.

Song: "Lost Somebody"
Artist: A Tribe Called Quest

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Song of the Day: "I Need You"

This fucking year. Nick Cave is also enduring a brutal 2016. While recording Skeleton Tree, the 16th album for the Bad Seeds (or Nick Cave)--which was being filmed for a documentary, by the way--Cave's 15-year old son fell from a cliff and died.

Cave's learning the tragic news is preserved on film because how else can you intensify the anguish of losing a child?

The heartbreak got folded into the album, because how else can you make a Nick Cave album darker?

And it's received a ton of acclaim (which I don't think is a pity party), which is why I'm even listening to it (end of the year best albums list).

It's tempting to evaluate "Skeleton Tree" as an album about not only the cycle of loss, but mostly about a kind of numb acceptance. And now, what's left? Is life now pointless? Forever gutted of all dreams and possibility?--Chicago Tribune

Seriously, that spoke to me. Numb acceptance, ask for it by name.

A parent losing a child seems to be a motif (spoiler alert?) these days and it's one of the few things my mother explicitly forbids me/us (my sisters and, I'm guessing, the nephews, etc.) from doing.

Putting plastic flowers on her headstone is another thing she forbade--we're having her cremated to work around this one (no headstone).

There's only so much I can do. Also maybe she needs to hurry up to save us all a little hassle. Oh god that is exceptionally dark. Thank god no one reads this.

Song: "I Need You"
Artist: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Song of the Day: "I Can Only Stare"

I am on record as a slow-to-appreciate semi-fan of Sleigh Bells, but when Towleroad compares their new album to Spice Girls meets the Cocteau Twins I had to check it out. And now you have too.

Song: "I Can Only Stare"
Artist: Sleigh Bells

Monday, December 12, 2016

Song of the Day: "The Death of a Bachelor"

For the time being I find this Panic! At the Disco track charming. Check back with me in 6 to 8 weeks to see if I still do.

Song: "The Death of a Bachelor"
Artist: Panic! At the Disco

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Something Good From 2016: BoJack Horseman, Season 3

This year has been amazingly awful for me. I won't bother to enumerate, nor will I pretend there aren't still 2+ weeks to go. Since it's therapeutic to take stock of the good and bad things that I've experienced, I'm blogging a bit about things from 2016 that were good. This is the second post in that series and it's unintentionally also about a Netflix original.

This was the third season for BoJack Horseman, a show whose acclaim failed to motivate interest from me earlier, and it benefits considerably from my experiencing all 3 seasons back to back this year. I totally would have fallen in love with the show had I seen it in its first season, but seeing the last half of seasons 1 and then the season-long stories from seasons 2 and 3 in a binge gave me a much richer experience.

"Yes, BoJack Horseman is a searingly honest depiction of addiction, depression, and self-destructive behavior. But it's also a show about talking animals."--Jessie David Fox

"...a remarkable portrait of depression, delusion, and failure"--Matt Zoller Seitz

"You were born broken"--Beatrice Horseman

"...more heartbreaking than just about any drama on television"--Jen Chaney

"This may be the nitrous and bath salts talking, but I want to do some more nitrous and bath salts."--BoJack Horseman

"...allowing the most heartbreaking parts of life to leach into the genre that’s meant to soothe them."--Emily Nussbaum

" incredibly dark and surprisingly nuanced meditation on depression, fame, family and friendship."--Rudi Greenberg

"You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."--Wanda the Owl

"If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you!"--Charlotte Moore

The animation is suffused with emotion. The themes recur in the same vicious cycles that play out in life. And the show balances the wacky skewering of pop culture with ruminations on failure and redemption--as a Libra I dig that.

Song of the Day: "Higher"

Shia Lebouef, naked and famousish
I'm glad this band, who I first heard on Passport Approved, turned out to have some skillz.

Song: "Higher"
Artist: The Naked and Famous

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Finally, Respect

The Rogue One premiere party celebrate the 15 year anniversary of my meeting the original queen of my life.

Song of the Day: "Show Me"

Neil Young released two new albums in 2016.

Song: "Show Me"
Artist: Neil Young

Friday, December 9, 2016

Seasonal Selections: A Very Frightened Rabbit Christmas

I love Frightened Rabbit. I've only managed to see them live once--it required a drive to Eugene, but the show was solid (Clark enthused about the percussion and singer Scott Hutchison acknowledged that the band likes Portland so much that they tend to have too much fun to put on good shows there). The after concert evening didn't include sex with UO frat boys, but I guess wanting it all can seem selfish.

The first seasonal selection from the boys is "She Screams Christmas," their 2012 Christmas song.
You don't love me, at least not that I know of.
You never talk to me so how am I supposed to know, love?

The second seasonal selection is a demo version of "Boxing Night" from the State Hospital EP. Boxing Day, is of course, a seasonal thing.
This is boxing night
Someone lost an eye
I fear I’ve lost the last drop
Of whatever kept me awake, alive

And we conclude with a trip back to 2007's "It's Christmas So We'll Stop"
So forget the names
I called you on Christmas Eve
In fact forget the entire year

Ho fucking ho.

Song of the Day: "Death is Not Enough"

I should figure out when the Pretenders concert is. I'd hate to miss it.

Song: "Death is Not Enough"
Artist: The Pretenders

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Song of the Day: "Penthouse Floor"

John Legend is perfectly fine. He's this generation's Lionel Richie (shhhh, that's not technically an insult)--winning an Oscar for a song I don't really think deserved an Oscar just helps makes that case.

Song: "Penthouse Floor"
Artist: John Legend/Chance the Rapper

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Song of the Day: "Celebrate"

My year-end tradition of listening through various "best of" albums can be very rewarding. Exhibit A.

Song: "Celebrate"
Artist: Anderson .Paak

Song of the Day: "Just Your Fool"

A new Rolling Stones album means a possible chance to see the band live as part of the living legends list thing (the "still-living" legends, I guess). It also means a whole bunch of blues music... hmmm.

Song: "Just Your Fool"
Artist: Rolling Stones

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Two Mirrors, One Joke

I'm sure I'm not the only person who had a crush on Rob the 
dentist from the Oral-B ad.

I think this is a bit more meme-friendly.

Now With Branded Memes!

Song of the Day: "Vicious Wishes"

This was what I meant to do and god damn it is teh aweSUM too.

Song: "Vicious Wishes"
Artist; Pageantry

Monday, December 5, 2016

What You Know About Chislic May Surprise Me

Adventures in Retailing: Evian vs. Gold

While the prices for the 6-packs are within the realm of "you'd pay this per bottle at a Regal Cinemas or the airport" pricing, the single bottle for more than $100 verges on sports arena pricing. Which seems strange for Walmart...

For now gold is more expensive.

Something Good From 2016: Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

This year has been amazingly awful for me. I won't bother to enumerate, nor will I pretend there aren't still 3+ weeks to go. But I talked to a non-TV friend (commence eye rolls) over the weekend and I mentioned watching Gilmore Girls as a post-election cocoon and how fortunate it was that we got 6 more hours of the show as a sweet postscript to the series, about a decade after its conclusion.

Side note: The Apprentice began after the first couple of seasons of GG and became sufficiently part of pop culture that I thought it would make for an excellent season-long series of jokes to have Paris compete on the show (or a knock-off). After this past October, I'm even more sure that was a brilliant idea and that I am (was and will remain) a genius.

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life does not assuage much of the shit storm (on-going) of 2016 (fuck, it isn't even a fair trade for losing Alan Rickman), but I think it's probably good for me to try to find something like a silver lining where I can. It is so much more than a sentimental "Rory's getting married" reunion movie (spoiler alert: she's not) a la the Bradys or some Facts of Life-type holiday special where everyone's back but Jo. Actually, GG gives us a double dose of Jo, in giving more visibility to its female mechanic (but shhh, spoilers).

With the remarkable fourth season of Arrested Development in 2013 (a dizzying spirograph of a story that would never have made it to network TV); excellent comics-to-screen adaptations of Daredevil, Jessica Jones and Luke Cage; and one of the year's other strange high points for me, Bojack Horseman, Netflix has become a source for really inspired, complicated works. Also they have a new Full House.

Here's what I loved about the reunion (and keep in mind that I apparently fizzled out before the final season since I didn't know Christopher and Lorelai got married in France):
  • Paris, easily one of the best characters on the show and one I expected to be back without question, was back and as Paris-y as ever, even if her whole raison d'etre seemed flimsy, stupid even. Still, in enumerating how she came to be in her place in the world, they described Paris perfectly. Actually, it doesn't hold up to scrutiny so don't think too hard about her finishing law school, medical school, having 2 children and starting a successful business in a mere 9 years. They did miss an opportunity to have at least one of those post-grad degrees be from Harvard, thus restoring the Gellar legacy. And yes, I know her last name. 
  • Doyle, exactly as Paris, just a bit less on the extent.
  • Kirk, he is annoying as fuck but once you embrace the trope, "a film by Kirk" is fucking great.
  • Taylor, and the whole gay innuendo at the town meeting. Also having a town meeting. 
  • Emily, although I'm not sure I liked how the character's story played out, I'll admit that her clash with Lorelai over the funeral story was so perfect that nothing else really mattered for me.
  • Luke and Dean, they really weren't all that three-dimensional on the show, but they looked good in flannel, so continuing that seemed fine here. Actually, I thought Dean and Sookie having short, simple scenes with their primary costars worked really well. I'm happy with a few minutes of simplicity and great acting (not that I don't love Paris, but c'mon). “You taught me what safe feels like” is some really nice dialog.
  • Paul Anka and Paul Anka, obviously.
  • Louise Goffin, Carole King's daughter and the other singer on the show's theme song, as the rouge troubador. It made me wish Sam Phillips had made an appearance (did she ever? [she was in 2006's "Partings"; one of the town's many would-be troubadors flocking to Stars Hollow to fill the void]... she was also Katya in one of the unnecessary Die Hard movies).
  • Jess, and the role he played in one of the key Rory plotlines (as opposed to the speculative role he played). It maps to how he motivated her back to Yale. BG John once asked me if I was Team Dean or Team Jess (before there was even a Team Logan) and I remember being torn. For some reason the way things played out for Rory with Dean around season 4 or 5 was both surprising and comforting (probably because she's white [which everyone in the cast is, aside from the one plus the Asians]--had she been played by Eva Mendes I'd probably have characterized it as ghetto even though Eva Mendes is probably from a much nicer neighborhood that the perfectly nice white subdivision in Lawrenceville where I spent my high school and college years... wait, is Eva Mendes white?). 
  • Mr. Kim, because I think we all assumed he was deceased.
I didn't miss Max Medina (because I never liked Max Medina), and I thought Jason and Christopher were given suitable presence respectively. While I was mostly #TeamChristopher (and partially #TeamDigger), “You let her do it” was a fair summary. It's the awkward, unsettled moments of the show that always felt real. I missed Dave Ragowski and am still not sure whether that was actually Tristan.
But the show failed Lane. She deserves more. So much more. She deserves what Paris got--both in terms of the size of the role and in giving the character some success beyond the dead end she'd been written into. Hell, have her running the town instead of Taylor or something.

In addition to the Paris storyline, I thought the musical subplot and the Wild subplot were both triffles (the musical was filler better spent showing Lane's awesome life; Wild just seems silly given Lorelai, although that was the point so never mind). That they included so many actors from Parenthood in that part of the segments was fucking awesome.

I was trying to explain the show to the non-TV person and I was able to double down on convincing her when I pointed out that the penultimate scene in the show's finale was played out to the Mighty Lemon Drops' "Inside Out"... cause fuck yeah!

I read something today that suggested that Rory was foreshadowing the ending when she asked Christopher about letting Lorelai raise her alone. Before I read that I would have guessed Jess but under scrutiny there's no reason why I should think that. But it does confirm #TeamJess for me. If Logan is Christopher and Jess the Luke proxy it's kinda perfect and I'm not sure I want that. I want Emily letting her maid (HER MAID) and extended family live with her at the Vagina Shack while she harpoons whales because you don't see that coming.

If this year has taught me anything, it's that you do not see shit coming.

Song of the Day: "Pageantry"

The funniest aspect of this was that I wasn't even and then it turned out to be bad ass and so it stays.

Song: "Pageantry"
Artist: Limes

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Song of the Day: "Water"

You ever have one of those days where you stop what you're doing and realize you can't even afford to buy bullets to pull the trigger? Me neither.

Song: "Water"
Artist: Ra Ra Riot

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Song of the Day: "Ablaze"

The death of Benjamin Curtis of School of Seven Bells is not attributable to this fucking year, but his final music is part of the pathos of the year. SVIIB is likely to be the last album from a band name School of Seven Bells.

Song: "Ablaze"
Artist: School of Seven Bells

Friday, December 2, 2016

Song of the Day: "The Ministry of Social Affairs"

I am not sure if PJ Harvey is a band or just Paula Jean at this point. Either way, I haven't listened to the most recent album.

Song: "The Ministry of Social Affairs"
Artist: PJ Harveys

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Song of the Day: "Boyfriend"

I still think Tegan and Sarah should be Sarah and Tegan every other decade...

Song: "Boyfriend"
Artist: Tegan and Sarah

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Song of the Day: "The Greatest"

Kendrick Lamar assists Sia here. Not sure I'm going to convert to a fan of either, but we'll give it a try.

Song: "The Greatest"
Artist: Sia/Kendrick Lamar

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Song of the Day: "In a Parade"

Stranger to Stranger is being hailed as Paul Simon's best album of the last 20 years.

Song: "In a Parade"
Artist: Paul Simon

Monday, November 28, 2016

Song of the Day: "Gardenia"

I had no idea Iggy Pop released an album in 2016... did you?

Song: "Gardenia"
Artist: Iggy Pop

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Quote of the Day: Gracious Winners Edition

“In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally,”--President-Elect Donald J. Trump via Twitter

No evidence of massive amounts of illegal voting has been produced. No evidence of trivial amounts of illegal voting has been produced.

I should say no evidence has been produced yet. There's still plenty of time. I'm sure his team of very real and not at all made up investigators that he sent to Hawaii to totally look into the fake Obama fake birth certificate that was faked can assist him here by helping assemble this evidence. It will be another victory for this team of very real and not at all made up investigators.

They probably deserve their own reality show, they're that good. I assume Dog is the best bounty hunter and the Long Island is the best medium (it is definitely the best iced tea).

Naturally, the casting of millions of illegal votes, all of which were cast, illegally, for Hillary Clinton (naturally) provides a legitimate reason to audit the votes. This is not something Trump is in favor of, because logic.

Haters gonna hate, losers gonna lose.

Song of the Day: "My Willing Heart"

James Blake, one of the featured performers on Lemonade and a Mercury Prize winner from 2013, has one of the best regarded albums of 2016. I'm trying to listen to those over the next few weeks.

Song: "My Willing Heart"
Artist: James Blake

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Song of the Day: "Love on the Weekend"

On the weekend, not the Weeknd. That is a very different song.

Song: "Love on the Weekend"
Artist: John Mayer

The Annotated List of Nicknames Given by War Criminal George W. Bush

(h/t Total Frat Move) America's fratty-as-fuck-est President (although technically he lost both the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections) is a 3-strike felon, a war criminal, a criminal against peace, a drunk, a recovering cocaine addict (or perhaps a cocaine addict), some kind of envoy (player? pawn?) between the C.I.A. and the Bin Laden family (the Bush and Bin Laden families have a rich history starting decades before 9/11 and continuing to this day, and while I don't think he's smart enough to actually become an operative on his own, he's certainly smart enough to take advantage of the myriad connections to the company, via granddad and dad, via Skull & Bones, when they offer to bankroll him or bail him out), and bad with names.

I think it's what happens when you're a C-student and don't really care about other people. I get that. I am that.

Here are more than 60 nicknames given to 58 individuals by W. Not all of them are clever, but they all underscore his lack of interest in learning people's names. I get that.

  • Ali – Barbara Boxer, Democratic Senator, California
  • Ari-Bob – White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer
  • Bama, Rock – Barack Obama, former Democratic Senator, Illinois, Bush’s successor as President of the United States
  • Bandar Bush – Bandar bin Sultan, ambassador to the United States from Saudi Arabia
  • Big Boy – Chris Christie, former United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey, current Governor of New Jersey
  • Big Country – Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Joe Allbaugh
  • Big George – George Miller, Democratic Congressman, California
  • Big O (current), Pablo (former) – Secretary of the Treasury Paul O’Neill
  • Big Time, Vice – Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States of America
  • Boner – John Boehner, former Republican Majority Leader, current Speaker of the House
  • Boy Genius, Turd Blossom – Senior Advisor Karl Rove
  • Brother George – CIA Director George Tenet
  • Brownie – Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael D. Brown
  • Bullets – Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman
  • Bushie – Laura Bush (this is a mutual nickname)
  • Condy, Guru – Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
  • Congressman Kickass – John Sweeney, Republican Congressman, New York
  • Danny Boy, Dan the Man – Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Bartlett
  • Dino (short for Dinosaur) – Jean Chrétien, Prime Minister of Canada
  • Ellis – Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer, Democratic Senator, New York
  • Flies on the Eyeballs Guy – Director of the CIA Counterterrorist Center Cofer Black
  • Frazier – Dianne Feinstein, Democratic Senator, California
  • Freddy Boy, Freddo – Fred Upton, Republican Congressman from Michigan
  • Fredo – Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
  • High Prophet, Hurricane Karen – Karen Hughes, Special Advisor; Director of Communications under Texas Governor George W. Bush
  • Hogan – John McCain, Republican Senator, Arizona
  • Horny – White House Speechwriter Jonathan Horn
  • Izzy, Altoid Boy – Special Assistant Israel Hernandez (for his role as provider of breath mints to the President on the campaign trail)
  • Kenny Boy – Kenneth Lay
  • La Margarita – Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings
  • Landslide – Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
  • Light Bulb – National Energy Policy Development Group Executive Director Andrew D. Lundquist
  • Man of Steel – John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia
  • Mikey – Mike Emanuel, Fox News
  • Benator (current), Nellie (former), Benney (former) – Ben Nelson, Democratic Senator, Nebraska
  • Pablo – Paul Wellstone, Democratic Senator, Minnesota
  • Panchito – Frank Bruni, reporter who covered Bush campaign in 2000 for the New York Times
  • Pedro – Peter King, Republican Congressman from New York
  • Pootie-Poot, Ostrich Legs – Vladimir Putin, President and former Prime Minister of Russia
  • Poppy, 41, Old Man – George H. W. Bush
  • Red – Adam Putnam, Republican Congressman, Florida
  • Rosey – appointee Jack Rosen
  • Rummy – Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense
  • Sabertooth – Barney Frank, Democratic Congressman, Massachusetts
  • Shades – Peter Wallsten, blind reporter for the Los Angeles Times
  • Shoes – Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy
  • Sit Room Guy – White House Situation Room Director James P. Wisecup
  • Stretch – Dick Kyle, Bloomberg News
  • Stretch/Little Stretch – David Gregory, NBC
  • Super Stretch – Bill Sammon, then of The Washington Times, now of The Washington Examiner
  • Tangent Man – White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card
  • The Blade, My Man Mitch – Office of Management and Budget Director Mitch Daniels
  • The Cobra – Maureen Dowd
  • The Englishman – Peter McMahon, husband of Dana Perino
  • The World’s Greatest Hero – Secretary of State Colin Powell
  • Tiny – Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage
  • Tree Man – Bush’s unnamed Forest Services official
  • Weadie, Weadnik – author Doug Weadre

Friday, November 25, 2016

Song of the Day: "Alexandria"

Martha Wainwright covers Beth Orton and emerges with the best qualities of both (plus a little Lucinda Williams?)...

Song: "Alexandria"
Artist: Martha Wainwright

Thursday, November 24, 2016

So This Happened (Brief Reign Edition)

Something something Cards Against Humanity something something  Eight Sensible Gifts for Hanukkah something something ruler of a kingdom for 3 minutes.

Song of the Day: "You Want It Darker"

No, Leonard, it's not that I want it darker, it's just that I expect it to get darker.

Much, much darker.

Song: "You Want It Darker"
Artist: Leonard Cohen

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Song of the Day: "Randy"

Randy (Quaid, duh)

Speaking of the French (we were, trust me), here's something from Justice's third album.

Song: "Randy"
Artist: Justice

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The Country Spent a Billion Dollars on an Election...

...and all I got was an even shittier attitude; fresh contempt for many of my friends, family, and colleagues; and a mother-fucking con artist/liar/idiot as my President for the next 4 years.

Should mother-fucking be hyphenated?

The experienced, savvy candidate received more than twice the donations as the novice. She also received more votes than the novice (2.6% more than his vote total), but she failed to adequately account for the Electoral College and was soundly defeated (if Michigan goes in Trump's column he will receive 31% more electoral college votes than she does).

Because Americans are emotional, reactionary, stupid, many of those who lost feel betrayed by the Electoral College (a system that's been in place since the Constitution was ratified in 1787). Some are pushing for an unprecedented usurping of the legal framework that defines the peaceful transition of power in this country. Those same people were outraged weeks earlier when Trump refused to declare that he would accept the results of the not-yet-held election.

It seemed perfectly reasonable to me that he didn't declare acceptance prior to results. If the results had shown 52 billion votes for Clinton and 900 million for Trump things obviously would have been bullshit. You can't tell if something's rigged until you've checked for rigging... probably.

Is anyone questioning how the experienced, savvy candidate failed while outspending the con artist/idiot/liar? Is anyone asking what other outrageously unprepared but well-known potential candidates there are to run against him in 2020? Tom Hanks? Oprah? Eddie, the dog from Frasier?!!! That's insane, Moose, the dog that played Eddie passed away 10 years ago. He wouldn't have nearly the requisite Twitter following to make him viable.

Now we're back to our standard partisan bullshit rhetoric. America, fuck yeah! 

Song of the Day: "Baby Let's Lay Down and Dance"

Jesus Christ, Garth Brooks, make up your fucking mind. If you want to dance, don't lay down.

Song: "Baby Let's Lay Down and Dance"
Artist: Garth Brooks

Wait a minute... is dance a metaphor?

Monday, November 21, 2016

Song of the Day: "Starboy"

While you were busy stewing in a pool of post-election tears, The Weeknd and Daft Punk rocked out a Panic at the Disco cover. Canadians and the French, amirite...

Song: "Starboy"
Artist: The Weeknd/Daft Punk

For Your Consideration: Jonathan Slavin

For your Emmy consideration: Jonathan Slavin, Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy, Dr. Ken

For your Golden Globe consideration: Jonathan Slavin, Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television, Dr. Ken

I've been a fan of Slavin since first noticing him on Better Off Ted. He's part of the supporting ensemble of Dr. Ken, a show I was surprised to be utterly amused by in its first season last year. I wasn't a huge fan of Ken Jeong in Community but here he's far more likable and the show itself has a lot to love. It's a bit basic in its style and writing, but it's also on Friday nights which means it's got the trappings of the old ABC TGIF sitcom lineup. Watch it with your tweens!

With season 2 they've increased Suzy Nakamura's role (she's also doing fantastic work this season) and given Slavin some really juicy episodes. I'm posting this a good 6+ months early specifically so I don't forget about Slavin come Emmy season.

Oooh, I should mention this to the Golden Globe peeps too.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Because It's True

I feel like it's been an awfully long time since I wrote about how George W. Bush is a war criminal and how Dick Cheney is a war criminal and a war profiteer. (For the sake of this post, I won't touch on the crimes against humanity thing.) And it has, it has been a long time. I haven't written a blog post with the phrase "war criminal" since January 2014 (see for yourself, just type "war criminal" in that search box in the upper-left part of the page).
Upper-left corner
Today I found myself wondering what was taking The Hague so long with their charges against the W/Cheney administration and then I was reminded that, as I'd said for many years, yes, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and several other officials from their administration are actually convicted war criminals.

"In what is the first ever conviction of its kind anywhere in the world, the former US President and seven key members of his administration were yesterday (Fri) found guilty of war crimes."
"Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and their legal advisers Alberto Gonzales, David Addington, William Haynes, Jay Bybee and John Yoo were tried in absentia in Malaysia."--Bush Convicted of War Crimes in Absentia, Foreign Policy Journal (5/2012)

Seems kind of dickish that we haven't extradited them. But then it did take 8 years from his presidency for Augusto Pinochet to be arrested. Fingers crossed!!!

P.S. In doing the above search I realized that an important graph was no longer appearing in this post, so I've recreated it. You're welcome.

Song of the Day: "Vaporize"

This fucking year (I just tossed/dropped a very hot pizza on my front porch)... that has nothing to do with this song.

Song: "Vaporize"
Artist: Amos Lee

Friday, November 18, 2016

Song of the Day: "Living Statue"

Jane Siberry changed her name back from Metta World Peace Sananda Francesco Maitreya Issa, which was probably a smart move what with ISIS and shit.

The non-live version of this features Saint k.d. lang.

Song: "Living Statue"
Artist: Jane Siberry

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Because Your Unrest Might Be My Party

Click to embiggen.

Get to Outrage or Hope Quicker

Don't you hate it when people do things and you aren't sure whether to feel annoyed or proud? Me neither. This will help!

Click to embiggen.

Song of the Day: "On Hold"

After Jamie xx last year, and prior releases from the xx, I'm all about this new one. And I dig it!

Song: "On Hold"
Artist: The xx

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

I Continue to Help

The LA Times, which, like Val-U-Pak, is a coupon distribution system, published this piece of quaint entertainment recently.

It's adorable and all, but editorially it was a bit rambling. I fixed it for them.

Song of the Day: "C-H-E-M-I-C-A-L"

I like songs that spell. I just wish I knew what they spelled...

Song: "C-H-E-M-I-C-A-L"
Artist: Chemical Brothers

Monday, November 14, 2016

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Song of the Day: "Highway Vagabond"

A few weeks ago I decided the operational definition of country music in 2016 should be "pop music without negro artists" and this shitty new song from Miranda Lambert does nothing to discourage me from using that.

Song: "Highway Vagabond"
Artist: Miranda Lambert

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Fucking Voter Apathy

A state-by-state breakdown of changes in voter turnout doesn't really make the point, but it's a pretty infographic.

An estimated 52% of registered voters actually voted on Tuesday.

Fuck all y'all who didn't.

Fewer than 150,000 voters made the difference between electing a Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche.

Someone once said that love trumps hate. They forgot that apathy trumps both. I'm certain Corey Booker or Elizabeth Warren might have helped.

So Many People, So Much Stupidity

Less than two days after Donald Trump stunned the world and defeated Hillary Clinton in the presidential race, the new president-elect is proving that his entire campaign was a massive con job meant to rile up just enough voters to win a general election.
Prior to Tuesday’s vote, Trump promised that – if he won – he would immediately instruct his attorney general to “look into [Hillary Clinton’s email] situation,” adding that the former Secretary of State would “be in jail” if he were president.
He repeatedly implied that Clinton should be taken care of through violent means, whether it’s “Second Amendment people” rising up against her or her bodyguards disarming so we could “see what happens to her.”
Once the results of Tuesday’s election came in, though, Trump said the country owes Clinton a “major debt of gratitude for her service to our country.”
Lock her up, lock her up? Nope, not anymore.--Sean Colarossi at PoliticsUSA
Oh for fuck's sake.

Donald Trump does not have an Attorney General yet.

It's only been 3 days. Regardless of how many things he flip-flopped on, he can always flip-flop back.

He's always said a lot of shit, why was anyone expecting it to stop now?

Always Remember...

With Apologies to Pastor Martin Niemöller

First, they came for the guns. Only they didn't actually come for the guns, but we (and by "we" I mean working- and middle-class white Americans, the real Americans, the only Americans that matter) did nothing. And by "did nothing" I mean we did nothing but complain about how they were coming for our guns.

Luckily we could afford to go buy more guns.

I mean a LOT more guns. Just a shit ton of guns. We bought 'em. You can't spell patriot without g-u-n. I mean, not those letters, but you can use a gun to shoot the word patriot into the side of some Muslim family's house.

Then they came to enact Sharia Law. Only they didn't actually come to enact Sharia Law which, to be honest, we couldn't actually explain to you if you asked, but all we know is that we refuse to have a religious law define how we live as Americans, which is why we demand the Ten Commandments (which we hope you don't ask us to enumerate) at all our courthouses. Because we can't name all ten commandments there's no way we can tell you how many of those are actually part of Sharia Law or how many are legal or illegal. But we do know that the Sabbath ends with the coin flip.

And then we bought more guns. Because, you know, you can never have too many guns.

Then they continued their war on Christmas. How dare they call the Christmas tree a holiday tree. Jesus was crucified on a Christmas tree for your sins!!! I mean, he wasn't, at all, and, in fact, that tree is technically a false idol per the Ten Commandments we don't know or follow (but that we still pretend to revere). Jeremiah was more than a bullfrog and the Old Testament is more than just Leviticus.

They stole the baby Jesus's birthday from us! No one ever speaks of Christmas. Which is why we bought more guns. We have to protect our way of life. A way of life that ignores a commandment and undermines the teachings of the dude we pretend to celebrate in an orgy of excess and flat screen TVs.

You're gonna need more guns to protect that.

Then they took our jobs. They took 'em. Whatever you do, don't blame the person who hired them (your Lou Dobbs or your Mittens Romney or your Donald Trump) because chances are they are just greedy white men who want to keep as much of their hard-earned/inherited money as they can. Is that a crime? I mean, the wanting to keep the money--the hiring of undocumented workers is actually a crime and, if they weren't white men with money, they might actually be held accountable for that.

But this is America. and America is for winners, and being born into money automatically makes you a winner. And what do winners (and people who want to be winners) need more than anything? The love of Jesus Guns!

OMG OMG OMG then they came to redistribute the wealth. Remember that?!!! All that wealth redistribution by the super socialist non-American Obama! If you were smart you listened to Glenn Beck and invested all your money in the Gold Line coins. Only because he's also weak and stupid, that wealth redistribution shifted more wealth into the hands of the wealthy. Sorry blacks. Shoulda got a better usurper in chief. Maybe one who was all black, not some half-black Kenyan faker.

So when you (or someone you asipre to be) has even more wealth, what can you do but buy more guns? Nothing.

So we bought more guns.

And then they came for the guns again, only, just like last time, they didn't come for the guns at all.

So now we need to stop the Muslims, to keep them from taking our freedoms. How dare they think they can come here for freedom of religion.


Shhh, you hear that? I think they're coming for our guns. Better reload and get more.

Song of the Day: "Isn't It True"

The dude from Mazzy Star (because dude is not gender-specific)...

Song: "Isn't It True"
Artist: Hope Sandoval and the Warm Inventions

Friday, November 11, 2016

Imagine My Surprise

I feel like I've been staring out the window at these buffoons who were so out of touch with the reality of their candidate and laughing because it meant that their party would be torn apart when they lost horribly. That they would be sore losers, protesting from the minute the results were in.

Then I realized it wasn't a window, just a fucking mirror

Song of the Day: "Blended Family"


Song: "Blended Family"
Artist: Alicia Keys/A$AP Rocky

Thursday, November 10, 2016

What They Said: "Play for Today"

Life is a secret, death is a myth
Love is a fraud, it's misunderstood
Work is a sentence, family's a drag
This house is a trap

Oh Irony, You're a Bitch

It sucks to have all the stuff and feel like you don't have any of the stuff because of all the minorities. Donald Trump will fix that because, reasons.

And we will all bask in the glow of a newly re-great America, as Jesus described in the Bible and stuff.

The antonym of disenfranchise is enfranchise.

Mood Music: "Fell On Black Days"

Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck.

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

I am in a weird place emotionally. Geographically too. Spiritually. This fucking year.

There's probably a lesson that I'm not learning, something about expectations, plans, my ability to control things.

My inability to control things.

David's leaving a week from Saturday. I know he's worried about leaving me here alone, but it's important for both of us that he does. He's been both an invaluable help to me these last 6 years, but he's also been a source of frustration. He's here because I needed help when Clark was hospitalized for 2 weeks back in 2010. He helped. He's done everything I've asked, but fuck if grown men can't just get along with each other like they're fucking adults.

Maybe someone has hidden microcameras in the trim of the bathroom. Or created an EMF web that fucks with your skin. Maybe. It just seems more ambitious that the idiots who live with me but sure, maybe.

"Do you really think he was trying to kill Clark?" I was asked in Dallas. How the fuck can someone answer that question?

For what it's worth, the feeling was mutual.

And yet despite all this perceived harm, neither of them considered moving off to someplace safe.

I didn't watch the election returns Tuesday night. I had confidence that in order for Trump to win he'd need to pick up a variety of key states all of which he trailed in. Perhaps if I'd watched, seen the dominos falling one by one, I wouldn't have been so freaked out to wake the next morning to see how definitive his victory had been.

And unlike a Hillary Clinton win, there's no way this win was rigged. None. Because that's just sore fucking loser talk now.

America has elected a fucking idiot. Christians prayed to Jesus and he delivered the lying, greedy adulterer America deserves as its President.

At least he's not black.

And he's not a billionaire.

Or he wasn't. He will be soon enough.

This fucking year.

Leonard Cohen died today. Less than a month ago he said he was ready to die. I said I was ready for him to die too. Not that I have a problem with him, not in the least--I just feel like if he's ready, I'm okay with that. It's a courtesy I would like from others, but I don't expect it. People call suicide selfish, but I think the people who call it selfish are the selfish ones. "Live with your misery so I don't have to cope with losing you." Sweet.

I've never been a big Leonard Cohen fan, but I developed respect for him the same place I developed respect (respect that is very much deserved, to be clear) for Laura Nyro: during the movie A Home at the End of the World. I was deeply moved by the film and am frustrated that Colin Farrell's performance didn't garner end-of-the-year accolades. Roger Ebert's review covers it well. The movie features one song from Cohen, 2 from Laura Nyro & LaBelle (although I think they were still Patti LaBelle & the Bluebells then), 2 from Dylan, and a few other classic tracks (The Band, Jefferson Airplane). The official soundtrack lacks many of those but supplements  with new Duncan Shiek music. None of that's important right now...

Songs don't get any more anthemic than "Halleluah". And few can do justice to the song as well as k.d. lang. So just fucking bask in it. Respect.

Rest in peace dude.

Song of the Day: "Versace on the Floor"

New Bruno.

This fucking year...

Song: "Versace on the Floor"
Artist: Bruno Mars

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

This Fucking Year Continues

God damn I hate this country sometimes.

Song of the Day: "Avalanche"

I've never heard of this band before tonight (when all I heard was their initials). They have a math rock quality I'm digging.

Song: "Avalanche"
Artist: Bring Me the Horizon

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Song of the Day: "Lionhearted"

Billie Marten, who is a person, was just named one of 2016's Best New Bands. Hey, if Bono can be a Woman of the Year, you can too.

Song: "Lionhearted"
Artist: Billie Marten

Monday, November 7, 2016

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Song of the Day: "Drug Dealer"

Macklemore continues to craft honest songs mined directly from his personal struggles.

And in doing so, to appear naked in the associated promotional video.

Ryan Lewis is, presumably, still around too. It's not clear.

So it's all win/win from my perspective.

Song: "Drug Dealer"
Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis/Ariana Deboo

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Song of the Day: "I Walk Alone"

It seems weird to have two people singing a song called "I Walk Alone." Especially when one of them is basically wasted on the effort.

Song: "I Walk Alone"
Artist: Cher/P!nk

Friday, November 4, 2016

Meanness in the Milieu

So this happened...

1) Tweet at the Dolly Parton concert in Vancouver BC.

2) Jimmy Kimmel gets involved.

3) Dolly Parton reads my "mean" tweet.

Song of the Day: "Oh Sarah"

Sturgill Simpson's A Sailor's Guide to Earth has the critics convinced of he's the real deal (going so far as to suggest that Chris Stapleton was following his lead).

Song: "Oh Sarah"
Artist: Sturgill Simpson

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Song of the Day: "My Way"

I don't really care whether this new single from Calvin Harris is about her.

She knows who she is. And so do you (probably).


Hey look, gratuitous beefcake!

Song: "My Way"
Artist: Calvin Harris

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Song of the Day: "Get Right"

After Jimmy Eat World left their one hit wonder hit behind them I thought they would be another Collective Soul.

Maybe I was right. Since everything decays...

(I seriously dislike "Shine" and the first CS album, but the latter 2 albums are really strong. Mid-aughts songs from JEW are similarly infectious. This song isn't.)

Song: "Get Right"
Artist: Jimmy Eat World

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

IGTOFTS: What Number?

I am old. The font is small. The store number, a thing that was required for me to be able to refill my Rx online, is not labeled. It also has 2 superfluous digits, apparently (the field allowed for 5 numbers, there are 2, then a dash, then 4 numbers on the label and it accepted the last 4 numbers).

Boo. I'm too tired to be outraged right now.

#UXFail #FindTheStoreNumber #NotThePhoneNumber #DisregardTheSuperfluousLeaderDigits

IGTOFTS: Fighting Robots by Antagonizing Users

The machines, am I right? They're the worst (aside from all the times they've been fucking amazing, like now when I rant and it becomes ones and zeroes and suddenly you're reading this in the bathroom and wondering how I know that).

To keep machines/bots/droids/scripts/Muslims/fatties from gaining access to content that has some proprietary value to a website, developers use a test that humans should be able to complete easily but machines would not. These are typically called CAPTCHA (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart) which, OMFG it's a Turing test.

Which leads me to this... what the fucking what?

Now I'm no robot, but what is that string? 

I'm sure there's a fine line between aggravating users and defending against robots, but for fuck's sake, I'm just posting something to my own Facebook feed.

. #UXFail #IDontCareHowManyUsersIAnnoySoLongAsNoRobotsPass

IGTOFTS: Gray Fonts on Mobile Devices


I'm getting too old for this shit.

Specifically, I"m getting too old for shitty design that makes it difficult for my aging vision and/or brain to figure out what the fuck is going on.

I recently went looking for details on something, and, like many Millenials young youthful not-yet-dead Americans, I did it using my mobile device. My mobile device has a (nearly) 6-inch screen and its font setting is large. Both of these things were instantly undermined by the use of a light gray font.

Black text on white background. Select a typeface with serifs if your text will be dense (paragraphs). I know this is boring. But it works.

This doesn't work.

#UXFail #fonts #HasThisBeenTestedWithAnAlternativeDesignLikeEvenOnce

Song of the Day: "At the Ballet"

Barbra Streisand's 35th album, with the cumbersome title Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway, seems like a mess. It's chock full of talent which, as we've discussed before, isn't always good. Listen to Streisand, Anne Hathaway, Daisy Ridley and Barbra Streisand's vanity tackle a poignant piece from A Chorus Line, draining it of tenderness and leaving its dried carcass in the middle of some road to nowhere.

Please note: this is the actual single from the album.

Why am I posting it? Because I wanted to hear Daisy Ridley sing. Why else?

Song: "At the Ballet"
Artist: Barbra Streisand/Daisy Ridley/Anne Hathaway

Monday, October 31, 2016

Song of the Day: "I Need You Tonight"

I've been considering this year's possible Grammy nominees and, among the possibilities for an Album of the Year nomination (via Grammy inertia; and not among those I think have the best chances, but I can totally see this surprise peeps) is Bonnie Raitt's 17th studio album, Dig In Deep.

So this happened...

Song: "I Need You Tonight"
Artist: Bonnie Raitt

Sunday, October 30, 2016