Saturday, December 5, 2015

Song of the Day: "Let the Good Times Roll"

Are you new to the J.D. McPherson party? Well, welcome.

Song: "Let the Good Times Roll"
Artist: J.D. McPherson

Song of the Day: "I Really Like You"

I'm pretty sure Tom Hanks would win a Presidential election in a fucking landslide.

Then he could rule us with an iron fist and we wouldn't even think twice.

And if Oprah was his VP... shit.

Song: "I Really Like You"
Artist: Carly Rae Jepsen

Song of the Day: "Dear Future Husband"

I'm growing alarmed at how little of 2015's music I've heard thus far.

Perhaps I need to return to streaming a decent radio station (R.I.P. YRock on XPN) and not chaturbate PBS on my personal laptop during work.

Song: "Dear Future Husband"
Artist: Meghan Trainor

Song of the Day: "FourFiveSeconds"

I'm pretty sure Rihanna has appeared on my singles lists for at least the last 5 years. But I'm not gonna bother to check that now.

And neither are you, admit.

Song: "FourFIveSeconds"
Artist: Rihanna/Kanye West/Paul McCartney

Song of the Day: "The Wolf"

When did Mumford & Sons decide they wanted to be Kings of Leon?

And which band would you rather have sex with?

Trick question, you'd have sex with both bands because you're just that slutty friendly.

Song: "The Wolf"
Artist: Mumford & Songs

Seasonal Selections: "Do They Know It's Christmas" 2014 version

Once upon a time there was a man who was inspired to do something for others. That man was Bob Geldof those others were starving Africans. and that thing he was inspired to do was to ensure that Paul Young would annoy Eric until the end of his life. So he gathered a ragtag group of musicians and created the first mega-charity event (if you totally ignore things like the MDA telethon). It launched a million knockoffs, like "We Are the World (if by world you mean the 27 states that all of us are from)" and that other song, the one with all the people. And the one about the well. We sent our love down the well.

All the way down!

Once the Africans stopped dying of starvation they started dying from AIDS. So thanks a lot Bob Geldof, you've given Africans AIDS.

Ho ho ho.

Oh, and then 30 years later someone thought "I want to be famous longer" and decided to remake it. And then Bono arrived. And here we are.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Quote of the Day: Canadian Ted Cruz of Canada Edition

Quote of the day, just not today

Craig Mazin wrote The Hangover movies... the ones that sucked (2 and 3), and some other crappy movies, but I don't hold that against him. He also talks shit about Ted Cruz and it. is. awesome.

Also: “I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone. I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”

New American hero: Craig Mazin. Keep on keeping on but stop with the Hangover sequels. 

Song of the Day: "Why Don't You Love Me Like You Used to Do?"

I know my cousin Tom was being rhetorical asking the question that serves as the title of this Hank Williams standard, but I will tell him what I tell everyone whose expectations:
I don't do anything like I used to do 
It's called getting old. Or growing up. Technically you will still grow old even if you never actually grow up. That's just science.

Song: "Why Don't You Love Me Like You Used to Do?"
Artist: Tom Jones

Song of the Day: "WTF (Where They From)

Here's a great SAT prep question using analogies.

Missy Elliott : Timbaland as

  1. Queen Latifah : Will Smith
  2. Kanye West : Jay-Z
  3. Pharrell : Justin Timberlake
  4. Sonny : Cher
No looking at your neighbor's test.

I was going to ask if she'd been in hiding for a while but apparently that answer is "no, but home dealing with Graves' disease, which can be harrowing.

Song: "WTF (Where They From)"
Artist: Missy Elliott/Pharrell Williams

Know Your Knowledge: Redundant Clothing Redundancies

And all vests are sleeveless.

Song of the Day: "Sugar"

The other maroons in Maroon 5 are so fucking lame. They make Adam handle all their sexiness and all their singing and they make him drive? Sheesh.

I wonder if Third Eye Blind wonders why M5 became HUGE and not them? Or Vertical Horizons.  Or Sugar Ray. Smash Mouth knows why.

Song: "Sugar"
Artist: Maroon 5

Song of the Day: "I Can't Lose"

Songs of the day through the end of the year are likely to be a melange of singles that I want to ensure I remember for my best of list and stuff that I'm finding now. While this is a few months old, it works for both.

Is Mark Ronson the man?

Fuck yes! Just compare this and this. Case closed.

When Mark Ronson wanted a "young Chaka Khan" to sing on this song (OMG OMG OMG brilliant TV idea #47,708 The Young Chaka Khan Mysterie" [similar to this]) and, when no one came to mind they weren't going to settle for merely asking other people for ideas. "We’re going to drive down to the South, we’re going to call it the Mississippi Mission, and go to the churches," they said which is probably mildly racist or some other microaggression involving stereotyping the young Chaka Khans of the world as living in the south and/or singing in churches. I bet they're in Illinois and Maryland and Arizona as well.

Regardless of whether the effort was needed to find a singer who fit the suit, Ronson totally did with Keystone Lite Keyone Starr. Starr had been a fixture singing on campus at Jackson State University (go tigers!). And somehow Ronson's YCK-dar (it's like gaydar except you can sense the presence of young Chaka Khans [Chakas Khan?]) took him directly to her.
"She just looked so badass. I remember thinking: it would be awesome if this one could sing really great,"--Mark Ronson
Lucky for Starr that she looks badass. It's like Ronson doesn't even understand the point of The Voice: that Adam Levine and Blake Shelton shouldn't have to hide their love that looks don't matter if really hot singers like your voice in blind auditions. It's why the entire show is done without people seeing the contestants... oh, sorry.

Once in your looks will actually be held against you, even if only subconsciously.

So Keystone Lite Keyone Starr would totally have won The Voice. And Mark Ronson should learn to ask others for ideas (it's like he didn't know a good taco place in the city so he decided to drive to Mexico).

Song: "I Can't Lose"
Artist: Mark Ronson/Keyone Starr

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Song of the Day: "United State of Pop 2015 (50 Shades of Pop)"

If there was a Nobel Prize for megamixes I think we'd have this year's winner.

Song: "United State of Pop 2015 (50 Shades of Pop)"
Artist: DJ Earworm (and an array of artists from their respective singles)

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Butt Tight End of the Year

Jake Butt, future ex-boyfriend
Another week, another sport thing happening!

Today in sport facts: Jake Butt of the University of Michigan (go fighting something... wolverines?) was named Tight End of the Year in the Big 10.

Or Big 10 Tight End = Butt.

And yet when I wrote nearly this exact combination of things for a gay porn movie it was rejected as "unrealistic," "too potentially catastrophic" and "we don't accept unsolicited manuscripts, sir, please put your pants back on." Thanks for nothing NW Film Center School of Film.

Song of the Day: "Hello"

At some point I will create my Adele & Taylor Swift comparison infographic that ultimately makes that point that Adele is missing out on a lot of possible dick,

It will make sense when you see the infographic.

Song: "Hello"
Artist: Adele

Song of the Day: "Drag Me Down"

I also don't know much about the music or members of One Direction.

I swear.

Song: "Drag Me Down"
Artist: One Direction

Song of the Day: "Levels"

Sneak attack
You may think that everything to say about levels has already been said.

Once again you've overlooked Joe Jonas.

Nick Jonas.

One of them Duke Jonas boys.

Song: "Levels"
Artist: Nick Jonas

Song of the Day: "Dirty Work"

I make no apologies for the big dopey pop songs that I sometimes feature.

I am not a tween girl but we sometimes share the same interests.

Before today I had never heard of Austin Mahone. Maybe I still haven't...

Song: "Dirty Work"
Artist: Austin Mahone

Song of the Day: "Bitch I'm Madonna"

Two things:

  1. Yes we know
  2. Why is everyone calling me a bitch (I may already know the answer)

If you're wondering why multiple songs are song of the day, it's because the year is winding down and I'm getting a better sense of the year's notable music.

Song: "Bitch I'm Madonna"
Artist: Madonna/Nicki Minaj

Song of the Day: "Speedin' Bullet 2 Heaven"

Kid Cudi (not actual size)
Kid Cudi fuckin (sic) loves me. I know because he told me (and everyone else on Twitter)--unless that only applies to Denver where he had a really bad night, prompting him to cancel/postpone his tour to work out some shit.

As one does.

As a lovely parting gift Kudi released the title track from his forthcoming album as a single today. I don't think it's free or anything, just available.

Whether you choose to see that as generous or merely commercial is up to you. Me, I'm blissing out on the beat and all smiles here.

Song: "Speedin' Bullet 2 Heaven"
Artist: Kid Cudi

Point/Anti-Point: Syrian Refugees in America

Click to embiggen (you know you want to)
A lot of people are saying a lot of things about Syrian refugees but nobody's paying attention to the facts. And the facts are pretty clear: we must invade Iran now.

Because if not now, then eventually.

Details here.

What He Said

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Song of the Day: "Darkstar"

Leave it to Saint David Bowie to write the first album paying tribute to what may actually be a swarm of cosmic mega-structures: KIC 8462852. 

Of course that looks like 542-846-2852, or this century's 867-5309, to me. Alas the 542 area code designation is used in Cyprus and I can't grab it via Google Voice. D'oh.

And if you're curious about the astronomical mega-thingy, read more here.

Song: "Blackstar"
Artist: David Bowie

Song of the Day: "Mr. Misunderstood"

Eric Church surprised everyone (including you, admit it) when he released Mr. Misunderstood in November. The album was written in 20 days, recorded in 20 days (presumably a different 20) and released with no advance promotion. I guess you can't leak what you don't know is coming out.

The album seems more about spontaneity than security. It's got a fresh, relaxed quality to it, which seems like a nice change for mainstream music of any type: too many machines to fix whatever annoys you (or to change just because, otherwise why would you have all those machines).

Song: "Mr. Misunderstood"
Artist: Eric Church

Song of the Day: "These City Streets"

Not Weller's greatest work, or even his best 25%, but it uses motifs from a few of his classics and for that, dammit, a SOTD.

Song: "These City Streets"
Artist: Paul Weller

Monday, November 30, 2015

Song of the Day: "You Never Asked Me"

"You Never Asked Me" Patty Griffin
When was the last time you heard a song for the first time and thought "goddamn"?

Patty Griffin did that to me today.

Song: "You Never Asked Me"
Artist: Patty Griffin

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Song of the Day: "Danger Zone"

I was disappointed twice with Ann Wilson's cover of the classic "Danger Zone":

  1. It's not actually a cover of the classic "Danger Zone"
  2. While Wilson has one of the premier voices in rock, she sounds like shit here.


Song: "Danger Zone"
Artist: Ann Wilson