Saturday, August 1, 2015

Song of the Day: "Ghost Town"

I saw Sam Outlaw perform this morning on the CBS Morning News and was impressed. The writing is smart, the music polished--it's a great sound. It's a nice break from Bro Country (not that there's anything wrong with that [aside from how tiring it gets]).

Outlaw is his mother's maiden name. For reals.

Song: "Ghost Town"
Artist: Sam Outlaw

Thursday, July 30, 2015

And Then There Were Drums

We've got a protest going on here. And it's not a protest without a drum circle.

Above: Protesters by day

Below: Protesters by night

Song of the Day: "B.O.B."

Is 2015 the year of the sex toy? Probably.

It's always a good day when Macy Gray releases new music.

When that music is about vibrators personal stress release tools all the better.

As Macy herself sings "go baby go!"

Song: "B.O.B."
Artist: Macy Gray

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Word Clouds of Doom!!!

The end is nigh. It's been nigh a while so it's probably half past nigh but I don't know because I no longer wear a watch. A big ol' earthquake is coming (or possibly the massive volcano under Yellowstone is about to blow) and Portland, my home, is fucked.

Although my dad says I might have a beach front home post-cataclysm so glass half full! Beach front with human remains washing up constantly. And all kinds of other debris. Heads up pickers, you'll want to get here shortly thereafter for the choice stuff.

There have been articles recently, stuff like "how to survive" and "what to expect," but I haven't read them. I like to be surprised. Also I'm not built for post-apocalyptic anything if I don't have internet and air conditioning. My wish is not to die worrying about my dogs. If we're all crushed in our sleep one night, hooray. Maybe I'll take up smoking (it looks so cool and I'm so fat, maybe that will help).

I didn't read the articles, but I did word cloud a couple of them. Look at the pretty...

The New Yorker article (one of them)

Portland Mercury article

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The Name Remains the Same

Recent click bait on the Facingbook promised to tell you the meaning behind your name. A friend posted the results for her name and her daughter's. She was enthusiastic.

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I can't let that shit go on, so I set out to see what my friend's "daughter's" name--Vagenda--means. The daughter doesn't actually exist but the name is awesome. Personally I think Rhombus is a great name (for a boy, obviously).

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Then I thought I would test a few more names, all but the first are drawn from literature (or pop culture). Winter Soldier and Matter Eater Lad are the worst super hero names from Marvel and DC respectively. All food is matter. 

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Normally I think my friend wouldn't be happy to find out her daughter's name has the same meaning as He Who Must Not Be Named (dot com) but in this case, as much a fan of Henry Potter as they are, I think it's okay.

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Validation? Probably

Red mark = my departure (my third departure)

Once upon a time I used to bake pie charts for a place that started to really depress me. Actually one project in particular really broke me (and I'd been in the business for a long-ass time).

There's this somewhat useful company called Glassdoor that is kind of like Yelp only instead of complaining about how the waiter didn't remember your ranch dressing you can complain about how your employer doesn't offer a 401(k) match--although let's be honest, what kind of cheap-ass employer would stoop to that level? Cheaping out on that benefit has a huge impact on someone's retirement savings.


Where was I? Did my departure lead to a tragic downturn in satisfaction with employment at the old bakery? Probably.

Oh well.

Song of the Day: "Can't Feel My Face"

Remember how I used to think The Weeknd was The Weekend? Me neither.

Song: "Can't Feel My Face"
Artist: The Weeknd

Monday, July 27, 2015

Hotels vs. Air B&B

As a proud and successful Air B&B host I will have you know I bought all new linens... cause none of mine matched.

Via The Onion
See my listing below.

N Portland twnhse, 2/1, practical in Portland

House in Portland, United States. 2 bedrooms, full kitchen w/washer & dryer, close to Expo Center, Hayden Island, downtown St. Johns; easy access to U of Portland or downtown. A great place if you'll be out and about a lot and have a car. It's not a sleek loft in the Pearl Dis... View all listings in Portland

Song of the Day: "I'm Where I Should Be"

The Modfather comes to Portland in a few weeks.

Will he beat the massive earthquake that should end all existence for me and the peeps living in my house? Fingers crossed.

Song: "I'm Where I Should Be"
Artist: Paul Weller

Hooking Kids on Sex (So You Don't Have To)

This video is not appropriate for children. They're much too smart.

I was doing a bit of research the other day, trying to figure out how many millions of abortions Planned Parenthood performs every day. Is it only 22 million a day or is it more than that?

Then I found this video from the American Little League the American Life League. It BLOWS THE LID off Planned Parenthood and their secret business plan to sell teens abortions. They do this (SPOILER ALERT) by getting teens hooked on masturbation first.

FACT: teens would never ever masturbate if they weren't informed about it by Planned Parenthood. That's just science. 

The video also points out that Planned Parenthood has been putting graphic pictures of genitalia on the internet. So they're the ones! I'd often wondered about who posted those graphic pictures and now I know.

While the video goes a long way to explain PP's insidious plan to sell abortions to teens, they fail to point out that PP is so stupid they set themselves up as a nonprofit. How are you going to get rich addicting kids to sex by selling them pornography (side note: selling porn? what's the weather like back in 1991 grandpa? [answer: considerably cooler--ignoring climate change dooms us all but mostly anyone with kids they don't want growing up in a charred hellscape... you know, hippies]) if you're a nonprofit?

Probably through Obamacare and ACORN.

I'm sure James O'Keefe is on it (unless that's not his name)--hey did you know he's had to personally pay more than $700,000 in damages to people in his ACORN documentary because his editing is so misleading it slandered them?

Doesn't matter cause he destroyed ACORN like a good American.

Where was I? Probably going to say something about the HIV epidemic in SW Indiana related to the closing of 2 PP locations that handled all of the STD testing when the state budget couldn't support it and the state's libertarians didn't understand that preventing an epidemic was better than not preventing an epidemic so they weren't super proactive (0 for 1,287,492).

There isn't even a Planned Parenthood Abortotron 5000 anywhere in the state. Despite the name it only performs 3,200 abortions an hour but still, efficient. It uses solar power and rainwater!

I am very interested in gay
pride footage
So the actual number of abortions performed by Planned Parenthood each month is 35 million (34.88 million on average). You just read it on the internet so it's probably true.

Anyway, please watch this video but do NOT let your children watch. They will laugh hysterically at all the scandalous stuff and will find the amount of time spent on images from a gay pride event a sad statement about the host's closeted nature and you don't want that.

They already have to deal with Lindsay Graham, don't overwhelm them.