Saturday, March 29, 2014

Song of the Day: "Talking Backwards"

Hearing the Miracle Legion-ish-ness in this song has given me a new burst of energy!

Or maybe it's this glass pipe.

Whatever bitches, happy Saturday.

Song: "Talking Backwards"
Artist: Real Estate

If I find myself taking an uncommon stand and Donald Trump agrees

I will change my position.

Or kill myself.

Because surely I will be wrong.

Do vaccinations cause autism? No more than apple juice does.

Apple juice, by the way, is the exact same kind of gateway drug to heroin as marijuana is.


Friday, March 28, 2014

He's as common as you and me

Well, as you. I have a yard guy. And a cook. And a laundry person. And a dog poop clean-up person.

Some of them even get paid. But rarely.

Anyway, Rep. John Boehner (R, OH)... he's teh aweSUM. Just like all of us. He's not the elite. Nosirree.

Song of the Day: "New York Morning"

I'll write something when I get to come back up for air.

Song: "New York Morning"
Artist: Elbow

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Song of the Day: "Amazing America"

What is the most amazing aspect of this song?

Is it that the song perfectly captures what it would sound like if Nickelback, Creed, Stain'd and Daughtry fused into some mega-shitty abomination?

How about that the band behind this song, Madison Rising, call themselves the most patriotic rock band and they do that unironically. The Madison in question is John Madison, America's sexiest founding father, but you guys already knew that... duh.

Could it be that it's the theme song for the new Sarah Palin show?

Or could it be that Sarah Palin gets to have another show? That's probably unfair as I'm sure the good people at Hoveround probably buy more than enough commercial time to keep the show in business. Them and Carl's Jr.

By the way, please don't ask me if I find Dave Bray, the band's lead singer, sexy. Like ever. Some things you don't want to hear the answer to. (Hint: the same response may have been true for Scott Stapp at some point in my life.)

Is it the lyrics? They literally say "the trucks and the guns" and think of how difficult that must have been to write. Now think of ice cream. You're all my bitches.

Is it that he pronounces American as though CAN is the most important part of the word. And that's cause it is. Don't like it? Move to Ameri-CAN'T.

No, despite all those really awesome things, the most amazing thing is all the white people in the video. So many whites.

Also credit to the dudes at Madison Rising for picking up on the fact that there is no talent required to get invited to every Republican event (SEE ALSO: Ted Nugent) so why not wrap yourself in a flag and sing with your dick out (which is a metaphor for a gun, because showing penises is against the Bible). Expect to see them every Presidential election until, well, until the sex tape I make with Dave Bray and Scott Stapp comes out ruining both of their quasi-conservative careers. I did it because I love my country. I mean, I'll DO it because it's not like I've already made the tape ("tape" hah, who even uses tapes any more)... cause when would the 3 of us have been in the same place at the same time (don't bother looking, you won't even guess).

Also Scott Stapp owes me a bottle of poppers.

Song: "Amazing America"
Artist: Madison Rising

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Song of the Day: "Fever"

The new Black Keys album: Blue
Above: Blue, unrelated band
The first track from Black Keys new album Blue.

Blue is also the name of a British boy band who just happen to be in the photo next to these words.

And that, my friends, is how you play gratuitous beefcake.

Song: "Fever"
Artist: The Black Keys

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Song of the Day: "Red Eyes"

The War on Drugs is one of the bands I would have only heard via Y-Rock on XPN. I don't think I've heard them anywhere else since even though Lost in a Dream, their third album, has been garnering some solid reviews.
I'll justify this picture later.
I'm sure it's just my confusing them with Work Drugs that's holding y'all back from embracing them fully. But now's your chance, before they become all super famous like The National. I did that.

Well, them and me. It was collaborative.

Song: "Red Eyes"
Artist: The War on Drugs

Monday, March 24, 2014

Song of the Day: "Better Off"

Okay, wasn't Sara Evans a hot mess on one of those VH1 shows with Dr. Drew? Or did she have some other kind of d-RAMA going on in her life?

OMG OMG OMG, in her Wikipedia entry, this quote:
accused Evans of multiple affairs with fellow musicians and artists, including country star Kenny Chesney; a representative for Chesney called the allegations "ridiculous".

I have no idea what happened but I can pretty much guarantee, those allegations are ridiculous. I mean, hysterical, but also ridiculous.

And now, for no clear reason, a photo from Key West.

Song: "Better Off"
Artist: Sara Evans/Vince Gill

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Songs of the Day: "Springtime/Summertime"

From their recent sophomore outing, it seems like maybe the band was inspired by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or Bjork.

Simon & Garfunkel & Bjork.

You could do a lot worse.

Songs: "Springtime/Summertime"
Artist: The Head and the Heart