Friday, January 10, 2014

Happy Birthday Rod Stewart

They pumped a gallon of semen from his stomach back in 1975.

Or maybe 5 gallons, but I know it happened, I heard it from a cousin of one of the EMTs. Or a second cousin. Somebody for sure knows it happened. I think the same hospital as the Richard Gere thing.

Hearing that prompted me to ask the question: how much semen is there in the average ejaculation? (Answer: a heaping tablespoonful)

How many men/ejaculations would it take to fill a gallon jug (or Rod Stewart) with cum? Were the guys all standing there waiting. Is he that efficient at fellatio that he can go, go, go, go like that? Or did someone collect donations and that was his post concert refreshment? I'm eager to find out and really surprised he hasn't honored my request for an interview specifically on the topic.

He's got 1 Grammy and 2 inductions into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (because he has a penis and penis = rock credibility [see also: Madonna, she has Guy Richie's--foreskin anyway]). He is also a CableACE nominee which reminds me of a throwaway line from 30 Rock where Jenna responds "First, I was great in that Arli$$!" Oh, it's a meandering day, sorry Rod Stewart fans wanting to read something actually about him.

He does have a penis, probably.

Hey here's a song of his I really like. It is his sixth (and so far final) number 1 in the UK and I'm fairly certain I have the 45. If you don't know what that is, it's a handgun.

Rod Stewart's sold more records than Bon Jovi and Fleetwood Mac, but fewer than Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. Why? I blame Kanye West, a little. And of course Obama.

"Young Turks" is considered an early classic of the music video format. I'd never heard "Maniac" in the basement (UPDATE: I'm pretty sure I've heard it in a basement) bass line (well, I'd never heard "Young Turks" in "Maniac") until just now. An intellectually or musically curious blogger might dig into who produced both tracks. Maybe if one comes along they will report back.

Funny, I just got a commercial for a Kia dealer in Novi, Michigan before this next video. Turns out I'm still logged into my company VPN... d'oh.

Did you know Andy Taylor of Duran Duran and Bernard Edwards of Chic (and both of them of Power Station) produced this song? It was written by a dude from Climie Fisher, either Climie or Fisher.

I really do like a lot of Rod Stewart's music and I am eager to interview him about fellatio. This song is really awful though. "There's no love like yo love"

Happy birthday dude! Rock on! And call me about the interview...

Song of the Day: "Time"

New music from Work Drugs!

And a free download here.

Song: "Time"
Artist: Work Drugs

Song of the Day: "The Monster"

It's weird, Eminem used to be kinda relevant for me but nothing from his return has done it for me. I'm posting this as a potential 2013 single because of Rihanna. She may end up one of my favorite artists of the teens. Or the decade that's like 2004 to 2013 (it's a long story).

Song: "The Monster"
Artist: Eminem/Rihanna

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Song of the Day: "Let Me Teach You How To Eat"

Just because I was never personally a big fan of the Reverend Horton Heat doesn't mean I don't celebrate something new from the stalwart Dallas band.

Song: "Let Me Teach You How To Eat"
Artist: Reverend Horton Heat

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Song of the Day: "Rockets and Jets"

Hospitality were a pleasant surprise back in 2012 and this continues in that vein... (vein? sure).

It's vein.

Song: "Rockets and Jets"
Artist: Hospitality

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Song of the Day: "Boys"

Is Sky Ferreira the first coming of the post-grunge revival? Or was that years ago?

I'm hearing a bit of Garbage in this, in a good way.

Song: "Boys"
Artist: Sky Ferreira

Monday, January 6, 2014

Song of the Day: "San Francisco"

I'll make some favorable comparisons with Girls, suggest that Lelando would totally dig this album and get the fuck out. I'm busy today.

Song: "San Francisco"
Artist: Foxygen

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Now Who'll Make Us Safe

Liz Cheney, daughter of criminal against peace/war criminal/war profiteer Dick Cheney, has decided to drop out of the race to unseat Sen. Mike Enzi of Wyoming. Of course this is super sad news for me since Cheney is a scion of pure evil and provides me a, um, what's the opposite of true north?... true south, duh. Liz Cheney is my true south. Everything that's smug and entitled and vindictive and evil, she's the epitome. Well, George W. Bush is a bigger epitome, with nepotism to share!, but Liz holds her own.

I'm sure this campaign will bolster her speaking engagements (see also: Newt Gingrich) so there's a good chance she'll remain on my radar (also it'll be important for Republicans to have a woman to attack Hillary Clinton during the 2016 campaign and, currently Liz is one of 5 women in the party). In the meantime, here's a Rebel Agenda Klassic Kolumn, from a time when I remembered I had a blog and would write things:

Don't call her Liz Perry or even Liz Cheney-Perry, because those names get in the way of making it totally FUCKING CLEAR that she's Dick (war criminal/criminal against peace/war profiteer) Cheney's daughter--she doesn't have time to explain the nepotism she is leveraging, so read her daddy's name and get the fuck out of her way. She earned it by being daddy's little draft deferment (well, daddy's FIRST draft deferment--when fathers of 1 kid became eligible for the draft in the late 60s the Cheneys were "magically" blessed with a second child [the dyke]).

This is a couple days old, but Cheney is a major cunt in an on-going manner, so it still applies. And I know I said I try to avoid "cunt" as a word because it's misogynistic. But I'm intending to use it, the same way I use "dude," in a non-gender-specific manner; it's just a coincidence that my first 2 cunts du jour have been female (if Liz Cheney has a gender and isn't just a spawn of Satan--do those even have gender?).

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Song of the Day: "Holes"

"I have nothing to do
with this song"
Confusing artist name? Check. Passenger is the dude's name.

Confusing prior musical incarnation? Check. Passenger is ALSO the name of the band the dude used to be in.

Confusing sound? Check. He sounds like the fusion of James Blunt and Ray Lamontagne (in a good way).

Confusing song? Kinda. Not this one, but "Let Her Go" which I probably overlooked much of last year.

Anything else? Probably not. Here's a gratuitous shirtless photo of Brad Goreski.

Song: "Holes"
Artist: Passenger