Friday, January 10, 2014

Happy Birthday Rod Stewart

They pumped a gallon of semen from his stomach back in 1975.

Or maybe 5 gallons, but I know it happened, I heard it from a cousin of one of the EMTs. Or a second cousin. Somebody for sure knows it happened. I think the same hospital as the Richard Gere thing.

Hearing that prompted me to ask the question: how much semen is there in the average ejaculation? (Answer: a heaping tablespoonful)

How many men/ejaculations would it take to fill a gallon jug (or Rod Stewart) with cum? Were the guys all standing there waiting. Is he that efficient at fellatio that he can go, go, go, go like that? Or did someone collect donations and that was his post concert refreshment? I'm eager to find out and really surprised he hasn't honored my request for an interview specifically on the topic.

He's got 1 Grammy and 2 inductions into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (because he has a penis and penis = rock credibility [see also: Madonna, she has Guy Richie's--foreskin anyway]). He is also a CableACE nominee which reminds me of a throwaway line from 30 Rock where Jenna responds "First, I was great in that Arli$$!" Oh, it's a meandering day, sorry Rod Stewart fans wanting to read something actually about him.

He does have a penis, probably.

Hey here's a song of his I really like. It is his sixth (and so far final) number 1 in the UK and I'm fairly certain I have the 45. If you don't know what that is, it's a handgun.

Rod Stewart's sold more records than Bon Jovi and Fleetwood Mac, but fewer than Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. Why? I blame Kanye West, a little. And of course Obama.

"Young Turks" is considered an early classic of the music video format. I'd never heard "Maniac" in the basement (UPDATE: I'm pretty sure I've heard it in a basement) bass line (well, I'd never heard "Young Turks" in "Maniac") until just now. An intellectually or musically curious blogger might dig into who produced both tracks. Maybe if one comes along they will report back.

Funny, I just got a commercial for a Kia dealer in Novi, Michigan before this next video. Turns out I'm still logged into my company VPN... d'oh.

Did you know Andy Taylor of Duran Duran and Bernard Edwards of Chic (and both of them of Power Station) produced this song? It was written by a dude from Climie Fisher, either Climie or Fisher.

I really do like a lot of Rod Stewart's music and I am eager to interview him about fellatio. This song is really awful though. "There's no love like yo love"

Happy birthday dude! Rock on! And call me about the interview...

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