Remember a few months ago when I got all in a snit because I was paying $152 a month for internet and pretty limited basic cable (but basic cable that came with a DVR, thus allegedly justifying its cost) and, after a satisfying trial with Clear for home internet (still reasonably satisfied although my inability to watch The Daily Show without significant buffering will grow old soon), I decided to cut the cord. The $8 I pay for Hulu+ effectively gets me a DVR for 80% or more of my regular viewing. I'd need to spend another $94 on a la carte rental of programs via iTunes or Amazon to spend what I was spending in cable. Cable where the signal was always on and I didn't suffer through weird gaps in broadcast programming because maybe the wind blew or a dog barked, and maybe I could get through an episode of The Daily Show in under an hour.
The good old days of cable.
So I cut the cord on June 8th. I know it was June 8th because it was a weekend, and they're not open on Sunday and I watched the first episode of The Venture Bros., and their season started June 2, and after I cut the cord I realized I screwed myself out of the rest of the season. A few weeks ago I bought the season for $12. I'm still ahead.
And can I just say that between MeTV and Antenna Television it's like I have Nick at Night from its first 5 years or so, before they ever thought to air Step by Step or the show with Balki. Rhoda, The Partridge Family, Emergency, Good Times... cool shit.
Anyway, I turned in my equipment, I paid my bill, and later I was notified that I overpaid by about $40. It's a little bit more but I don't remember the exact amount , but it's more. So I asked about my overpayment and on July 3rd I got this reply:
Thank you for contacting Comcast. A check will be mailed to you in 6 to 8 weeks.
Thank you,Now in all fairness she didn't explicitly say that it would be in 6 to 8 weeks from that day or even a day in 2013. So it's entirely possible they remain on schedule.
Customer Care Specialist
At some point late last month, possibly when I was getting so frustrated by the buffering buffering always buffering of The Daily Show when I try to watch in on Hulu+ and I thought "maybe Comcast isn't the worst company of ever" and then I remembered my $40.
So I replied to the email I'd received with the whole "6 to 8 weeks" BUT WE DIDN'T SAY FROM WHEN thing to ask if someone could check on my refund.
It is my pleasure to assist you with getting your billing concerns properly addressed, but in order to do so, I will need your account number, service address and or the telephone number associated with the account to allow me to access your account information.
Comcast Customer Specialist
I think it's awesome that this gives Floyd pleasure. I don't derive a lot of pleasure from my job. It pays well, it's a good job for me, but pleasure? Not so much. So it's awesome that Floyd gets pleasure from requests like this.
Or is it?
Maybe Floyd was using these requests the way others use opiates or pornography or Fabergé eggs.
Maybe Floyd gets intoxicated from these requests. I'm just now considering this scenario. Clearly I need sleep.
I replied to Floyd's request about information that would allow him to look up my account by pointing out that the information he was asking for was in the body of the email he sent me and had he just scrolled down a bit more... (and I gave him the information again also because why not).
And then I saw something shiny and forgot all about it.
And then I wronged someone worse than anyone has every been wronged by anything ever. Which is why I received 82 text messages in an afternoon. Did you know that if you shut your phone off when a temperamental man child is going on an emotional roller coaster of a tirade directed at you via text message because maybe the sound of one more fucking message makes you contemplate murder, that when you turn your phone back on, that message tone will continue for like 8 full minutes.
I am that good in bed.
And then I remembered my $40. And I realized that I never heard back from Floyd.
What up with Floyd?
So I wrote Comcast back.
I am worried about Floyd. About 2 weeks ago he told me he would look into the overpayment of about $40 I made back when I closed my Comcast account. If you scroll down in the email you'll see correspondence from July 3 about it. Apparently Floyd didn't think to do that, nor did he realize that long alphanumeric string in the subject probably points to a specific transaction, although maybe it doesn't, but I haven't heard from Floyd in 2 weeks... is he okay?
I'd feel a tinge of remorse if something happened to him while he was gallantly struggling to get me that overpayment I was told would be returned in 6 to 8 weeks.
So please check on Floyd.
And also please check on my overpayment.
I have a sense that if the situation were reversed, that I owed you $40 for a couple of months, the exchange would involve an escalation of late fees and threats of referring my case to collections. You guys are pretty lucky I'm not you.
Anyway, check on Floyd. He could be lost and scared and cold. Well, not cold, it's still summer, but lost and maybe he missed a family reunion on Labor Day (again though, he really would thank me for that, family reunions, am I right?).
And also please check on my overpayment. And the phone number that is associated with that account is 503-283-xxxx.
Thanks.You know I wonder if Floyd didn't just take the money and blow it on video poker or a knock-off Fabergé egg.