Saturday, August 24, 2013

R.I.P. Julie Harris

Tony (5), Emmy (3) and Grammy winner (with an Oscar nomination taunting her from full EGOT) Julie Harris is probably best remembered for her work in the classic Freaky Friday. Which is stupid. Because THAT is Barbara Harris. A whole different actress. So stop remembering Julie for Barbara's work.

This means that Julie Harris is really best remembered (by me, at least) for the 1963 classic The Haunting, a movie I have actually seen. Over Halloween weekend in 1999 my mother insisted I watch it and vaguely damned the Jan De Bont remake from that very same year. Somehow without even seeing it my mother's special intuition told her that the director of Twister and Speed 2: Cruise Control was a poor choice for a story driven by psychological suspense rather than viscera. She was right. And she was right about the original--I recall being disappointed that none of the trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood knew to buzz my unit (my downstairs neighbor did all the work so I watched The Haunting with Barbara Julie Harris and not Susan Hayward who apparently lost the part to Harris... someone thought it was important to include that in the movie's Wikipedia entry--Hayward won an Oscar, the only category of EGOT that eluded Harris, so let's call that the curse of The Haunting and watch the trailer.

Harris was The Belle of Amherst, literally the only performer playing 15 characters in the play and winning a Tony and a Grammy (take that Emily Dickinson). You know what's spooky? Julie Harris performed the play in Seattle WHEN I WATCHED THE HAUNTING!!! 

No, wait, that was the next year. 



This means the third and final thing I'll write about should be Knots Landing. Here she is with an impossibly young Alec Baldwin. Fun fact: I did not watch that show. Why did the knots need to land?

Oh, she also played the role that Liza played in the movie but didn't actually play on stage but don't tell anyone that Liza didn't play the part on stage because they are probably misinformed and don't need that clarified. You know, I Am a Camera

They should remake that as I Am a Smartphone.

Rest in peace dude.

Ways In Which I Am Like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a big fan of the sportings. It's almost embarrassing how I'm always "sporting fact this" or "sporting idea that." It's why I am so awesome at parties and it explains my presence in various locker rooms around the country.

I am allowed to be in here so mind your own business security personnel.

Naturally I already knew who JJ Hall Watt was before today, but you might not. Some of you are kinda dumb.

JJ, or J2 as no one calls him, plays the feetings ball in the Transnational Feetballs Legion, for the Texas Texans. And he is damn good at his job.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #1: we are both damn good at our jobs.

Recently when some little girl cried on the youtube because she was too young to marry J2 he pretended to marry her, to shut her the fuck up.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #2: we will shamelessly lie to children to shut them up.

He founded the Justin J. Watt Foundation providing support to after-school athletic programs.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #3: we are both known for the athletic support we provide others.

In addition to playing defensive ender, he has also been a tight end.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #4: our time as, or with, tight ends.

He was given the nickname JJ Swatt by ESPN's Jon Gruden based on his talent batting down balls at the line of scrimmage.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #5A: Jon Gruden gave me the nickname RJ Twatt. Variations on that nickname are pretty much all he can come up with.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #5B: our talent batting balls when a large group of men are very closely assembled.

In a recent interview J-What said that the limited time (10 to 60 years [59 if Brett Favre actually retired... has anyone checked in the last hour?]) he will have for a professional feeters career means he has to prioritize his job ahead of dating women.

Way in which I am like NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2012) JJ Watt #6: we are so focused on things that keep us around groups of sweaty men that we have no time for girlfriends.

Some of you might think that we'd be mistaken for brothers but c'mon, he's much taller than me and has no facial hair.

Not even a beard. Good for him.

Song of the Day: "Love is Easy"

I've been loving The Mowglis's "San Francisco" most of the year, but I never posted it as a song of the day. I blame Obama.

Rather than go to a well-visited well (SEE ALSO: Macklemore and Tennille's "Can't Hold Us" which was released in 2011 but, thanks to the miracle of long division, I am counting as a 2013 single--spoiler alert, it ends the year really high; licensing "Can't Hold Us" for a Surface RT commercial is also a smart thing Microsoft did during Steven Balmer's wacky reign; sadly licensing a track from the Avett Bros. was not [I blame Obama]).

This is from the same album but isn't the same song, thus the different song title. Clever, no?

Song: "Love is Easy"
Artist: The Mowglis

Frankly I'm Surprised It's Not More Popular

I'm sure we've all read the article about Ben Stiller adapting Reality Bites for television NBC--if your news alert for Steve Zahn didn't tip you off, you probably saw it trending on Twitter (adaptations are HUGE on Twitter... no wait, that's something else). But in case you've been so focused on the Ben Affleck as Daredevil Batman thing, something something Reality Bites is the new Parenthood. So expect it to last a season and then have an inexplicable second incarnation 20 years later that has sticking power. Make room for some Primetime Emmys NAACP Image Awards.

But you already know all that. Yawn.

I so love the movie that I was inspired to post Janeane Garafolo's scene where she is not even remotely overly melodramatic about facing the results of an HIV test.

In the interest of full disclosure, I genuinely love this move and Janeane Garafolo in it. But as with Mare Winningham's peanut butter and jelly sandwich scene in St. Elmo's Fire, some times bad dialog happens to talented actors and Winona's line at the end justifies the angst in the scene. Barely.
That scene from St. Elmo's Fire, not really important right now.
Anywho, I searched for the "AIDS/Melrose Place" scene from Reality Bites and, because it's my vacation, I used MSN Search Windows Live Search Live Search the Bing and not the Google. Yep, I know how to party. If you are unfamiliar with the Bing it is a search decision engine which Wikipedia would have me believe is an actual thing (here). The more you know.

The Bing is Microsoft's attempt at killing the Google for search (see also: Zune/iPod, Windows Phone 7 & 8/iPhone, Microsoft Surface/iPad, Windows Live Spaces/um... okay, let's pretend that killed My Space--here is my recap of smart things Microsoft has done in the last decade: Xbox and acquiring Skype; if they would rebrands all the Live shit to Bing shit, that would probably help but they would need to then STOP rebranding things, and I don't think that is actually possible in Redmond, it's like how fashion needs there to be a new color every season... probably) and thanks to deals with Yahoo! and Facebook, the Bing was involved in 26% of web searches in April 2012, up down from 26.5% in 2011. That's probably rounding error, so, success!

As it's vacation, it's time for the Bing.

I entered "reality bites melrose place" (without quotes, but just those 4 words [NOTE: I didn't know realize it's a decision engine and not a search engine, so that might be the problem {it's not the problem}]) into the Bing is here is what the Bing gave me:
Here is what the Bing decided.
Note: I have cropped out the anus and vagina in the right-most link so as
to keep my blog from deletion. If you can't find pictures like this without
me you probably shouldn't see them. 

As you can see, the clip I used was the left-most (or best as all real American's know) result. The other results (or "decisions") are somewhat inexplicable. Susan Powter's career was probably at its peak around the time Reality Bites was in theaters, but I'm lost to find another reason for that "decision." But "Black Girl Fucked by 3 Guys"... well, now we're getting somewhere. With results decisions like this, I can't understand why more people aren't using the Bing, if only ironically. Like Hipsters should be all over this shit.

Ask the Bing, get a porn clip.

That shit is genius!

Steve Balmer, we'll miss you. Microsoft's stock price surged on the announcement of his pending retirement, but I'm sure it will level off when they finally announce his replacement, the Inanimate Carbon Rod.

An evening celebrating the arts

I feel like I don't write enough about Portland's vibrant arts scene. Miriam was out watching an evening of interpretive dance and shared these photos. I don't know a lot about dance but I know what I like.

Soon Smith and I will have to take her out to Silverado. Dance enthusiasts should stick together. Except during a lap dance--then you should get a little private time.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Song of the Day: "Radio Silence"

Holy crap it's late--almost missed a Friday post. Had a great night out with friends from college and their significant otters others. Plus one amazingly sweet dog that might end up over here in the dark of night (with a lovely area rug that I also took to).

Or not, that all seems like work.

So instead let's enthuse about a new track from Frightened Rabbit who I just found out are opening for The National at Edgefield and the show's sold out. I mean, yes, there are ways to get tickets to sold out shows but again, work.

So close your eyes and sit on the dirt and pay $8 for a beer and listen, it's like you're there.

Song: "Radio Silence"
Artist: Frightened Rabbit

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Song of the Day: "Hearts Like Ours"

New music from The Naked and the Famous, who I'm pretty sure are from Australia.

A second album is out next month. I've already closed the window that has the album's name, in part because Shockwave keeps crashing on my mac.

So fuck it.

Song: "Hearts Like Ours"
Artist: The Naked and the Famous

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Song of the Day: "X My Heart"

Prom Date... been there.
Louisiana's Prom Date have an 80s aura that exceeds pastiche. Theirs is an 80s electro-pop reverence. Or they fake a good game.

Which is also a very 80s thing, so double kudos if that's case.

Sadly I didn't know about them to give a heads up to all my Lafayette and Baton Rouge peeps before last weekend's shows. I'm hoping they can work in a date in Hammond or Covington because my posse will be there.

If the show is on before 9 my posse will be there.

If the show is on before 9 and she didn't have a long day at work and there's nothing good on TV my posse will be there.

Hammond. Covington. Mandeville even. Slidell is pushing it.

Song: "X My Heart"
Artist: Prom Date

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Song of the Day: "Wait for Me"

Kings of Lee or Leon or something.

You know 'em.

Now you know 'em anyway.

You didn't always.

(Admit it.)

Song: "Wait for Me"
Artist: King of L_____

Monday, August 19, 2013

Song of the Day: "When Love Breaks Down"

Brazilian chanteuse Beatrice Mason tackles Prefab Sprout.

How and why are unknown to me, but her sophomore album will be out at some point. I presume this means a debut is already out, but then maybe I'm over-analyzing the data I've been presented. 

Did I mention the vacation's cocktail (at least the first attempt)? Type 3 Diabetes

It's working its magic even as I type.

Song: "When Love Breaks Down"
Artist: Beatrice Mason

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Song of the Day: "Sea of Love"

Anotbssz (wow, Tyler just did something that knocked the desk out from under me just then).

Take two:

Another track from The National's Trouble Will Find Me. They're playing Edgefield with another band I like and yet I don't have tickets to the sold out show.

Whatevs, I don't like OLD [insert band name here].

Song: "Sea of Love"
Artist: The National