Saturday, January 19, 2013

Song of the Day: "Wicked Games"

[UPDATE: Thanks to Becky I now know that it's actually The Weeknd not The Weekend. Thanks Bcky!]
The Weekend Weeknd is not a band, but a dude who calls himself something that sounds like a band name. Weird right? Canadian (well African-Canadian).

Here's something else that's weird. While I like the song and its nice downbeat groove, I think he says "fucking" and "motherfucking" too much. It's like he's using those words indiscriminately, robbing them of their deliberate offensiveness. Oh, which reminds me, do NOT get another fucking Dilbert potentially fucked-up page-a-day piece of shit calendar made by Andrews McMeel Publishing. Cause those fuckers will not replace their defective fucking products if you say fuck in an email to them. Trust me.

Meanwhile, The Weekend Weeknd, take it down 40%. Now Andrews fucking McMeel has me too distracted to make my Loverboy joke about working for "the weekend." Your loss.

Song: "Wicked Games"
Artist: The Weeknd

Music for a perfect Gun Appreciation Day

Before you water the tree of liberty remember to intentionally limit voter access, ensure that 2 dudes can't get married and absolutely keep girls from, well, everything really. Slutty girls ruin everything and are dangerous, with vaginas and everything. Weird, I'm getting a spelling error, like the plural of vagina is vaginae. OH MY GOD IT IS.

Shit, I'm now totally distracted from making a point through subtle, cough, irony.

You can't appreciate guns without appreciating all the fantastic music they managed to help put an end to. I mean, sure, these musicians would totally have been killed by a hammer anyway, that's usually how it works. I think that's the basis of the song "If I Had a Hammer (But Since I Don't I Will Shoot You With This Gun)."

Marvin Gaye: "At approximately 11:38 am, Gaye's father entered Gaye's bedroom and shot at Gaye (seated on bed) twice with a .38 caliber Smith & Wesson revolver." Hooray for .38 caliber guns! Hooray for Smith, and hooray for Wesson!

Also killed by a .38 caliber, Tejano superstar Selena. Living in Dallas at the time, I can tell you her loss was a big deal. So hooray for .38 caliber guns again, and this time let's appreciate Taurus brand pistols.

You know who else was killed with a .38 caliber handgun? I mean, aside from thousands of people last year, they didn't make music that you know, so whatever... John Lennon. You remember him, right? The gun that killed him was made by Charter Arms, hooray!

Imagine no more weapons... bwahaha, I kid. That's just crazy talk. So hooray for more weapons. I think I'll go get some guns today. Tree of liberty and all. I mean, my liberty may look really different from your liberty, but mine is right. At least it will be when I'm heavily armed.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Song of the Day: "Somebody's Heartbreak"

The Grammy nominees for Best New Artist typically have these 5 nominees:

  • a glaringly obvious nominee who's had a big year
  • a critical darling I haven't been wowed by
  • an artist I've never heard of (prompting my "Who the fuck is..." posts)
  • at least 1 nominee from each of these broad groups: country/folk/roots; rock/alternative; rap or R&B (that's code for black); pop/dance/electronic (is electronic still a thing?)

Which prompts this question: who the fuck is Hunter Hayes? That name could be male or female, black or white (but not really Asian, and Hispanic is an ethnicity, not a race). Now if it were spelled Hunter Haze it would obviously be a douchey white guy.

Hunter represents the unofficial country/folks/roots arena (it's cynical of me to suggest that there's a system in place to get this kind of diversity in the nominees; also there's a system in place to, not guarantee diversity, but to help diversity happen "organically") and he's the nominee I was clueless about prior to reading the list.

It turns out he's the country Justin Bieber. No, wait, that's not right. Hunter is nominated for 3 Grammys.

I'll let the comments from youtube wrap this up:

  • steph789301010 Your an amazing singer! Wish I could meet you!
  • Layne Richard hunter I know you can't see this but we are from the same parish
  • limitlessbrain Our personal fave track on the album, Hunter. This song is smart and memorable and we all love it in the office!
  • Prestin Buchanan Don't see why people have to always start a feud between Beiber and another good artist..They're both talented.. so calm down.
  • Cheyenne Meadows Calvin n...I'd love to hear some of your music.
  • Emery Rowe Will you marry me? I will love you foreverrr.
  • MissKristen05 marry me?
  • Christiana Packer Justin Bieber is good. In my opinion, but that's just me. in reply to Josh Gonzales 
  • MommaMia508 Is it me or does he kinda look like aaron carter??
  • Josh Gonzales  except Hayes is good Beiber isnt in reply to alwayscheering789
  • mixpunk94 @shoujhq OMG ur right this song kill me

Song: "Somebody's Heartbreak"
Artist: Hunter Hayes

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Song of the Day: "Heaven"

The first single (there have been others since) from Popstrangers. They're from New Zealand and that's about all I know about them, aside from really digging this track.

I can speculate that they're probably not related to Karen Black or involved in multi-level marketing schemes, but how would we know if I were wrong? Let's not take the risk.

Song: "Heaven"
Artist: Popstrangers

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Song of the Day: "Nuclear"

I'm so in love with this new single from Destiny's Children that I almost don't want to make snarky comments about their upcoming performance at the Super Game.

Will all 17 different members perform? Of course not. It's Beyonce, Kelly and the other one. And maybe Solange. LaTrelle Williamson probably couldn't get off from the Cheesecake Factory that night, they're super busy on Sundays. I assume Super Game Sunday is on Sunday this year.

The Fabulous Clinton loves it too:
"The production has PM Dawn, Lisa Stansfield, SWV and anything Nellee Hooper (or Teddy Riley) produced in the 90s all over it and I’m also LOVING IT…not to mention Kelly and Michelle get to catch a check.
I wasn’t expecting much, so this was a pleasant surprise!"
That's what's so great about diminished expectations, it's so easy to exceed them. Well, it SHOULD be, Tim McGraw.

And Super Game Sunday I'll be at Ikea, enjoying the silence.

Song: "Nuclear"
Artist: Destiny's Child

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Song of the Day: "Sugar and Spice"

I wonder if the Fresh Prince Will Smith has changed his tune on parents and whether or not they understand now that he's a dad. Of course maybe he's not a very understanding dad, I mean look at these lyrics:
They wanna puncture me and they wonder why I bleed
The big city, everyone is looking forward
Step on my ladder and bathe in glory
Inject my soul with darkness
And take my heart and go mark it
And sampling Radiohead? That's some serious "experiment with bisexuality when you go to art school" shit.

I guess getting the wrong pair of sneakers isn't all that bad any more, is it?
...and then the gunman killed everyone in the room before turning the gun on himself.

Song: "Sugar and Spice"
Artist: Willow Smith

Happy Birthday Rob and Happy Birthday John

Wharton Rob (previously Philly Rob which sounded too much like a mook) and Big Gay John and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. all share today as a birthday. They all had dreams but some of them had other hobbies so they didn't just keep going on and on about the dream. I'll throw everything into a single post and let people infer what they will from it. If John or Rob reads this and is insulted by something, it's about the other dude.

Or MLK. Trouble maker.

First up Liza with Pet Shop Boys. Fun fact: Liza Minelli is related to Lorna Luft.

Next up, Pet Shop Boys. Fun fact: they were also in the last video.

Here's Erasure. Fun fact: I am still waiting for the all drag queen Erasure-ized version of Mamma Mia! (patent pending).

The Communards!!! Fun fact: I totally rock this song at karaoke. So much so that it's been retired and I've been asked never to perform it again since I was depressing all the other patrons what with my fabulosity. At least that's what I heard when they said "tone deaf."

You know who would really rock out a cover of this Act song? Liza. For reals.

OMG remember dancing to at Weekends for like 6 hours and they kept playing tracks from Savage? Well you shouldn't, that was way before I met either of you. Fun fact: At some point in my life I would leave my house for longer than 3 hours without getting bored and wanting to go home.

Hey lady, you lady, did you notice that Terrence Stamp, who is a very good actor, is a really bad drag queen? Kinda sad.

I'm actually posting this one because I just rented Ted and laughed my ass off.

I didn't know Justin Bieber sang on this Go Go's album (middle picture).

Did Ace of Base (wait, why wasn't it Ace of Bass?) ever do that show where old bands come back and sing, what's it called? Dancing with the Stars? Liza could rock this song out. If they slowed it down a bit, sure.

MLK and I agree that Wow! is the definitive Bananarama album. I don't even care that they cover "Dr. Love" on Deep Sea Skiving. Martin's nodding in agreement over here.

And for my big finish, it's Madge time! Fun fact: at one time, she pretended to be an actress.

Happy birthday dudes! Rock on! Except MLK, he should rest peacefully. Trouble maker.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Great moments in thespian discourse

Or Josh Brolin shows us his nipples.

Song of the Day: "Red Hands"

 Walk off the Earth are from Burlington, Ontario.

Burlington is home to Canada's Largest Ribfest.

A 2003 economic assessment of Canada's Largest Ribfest found that more than half of the attendees were from outside the Burlington area and 100% of those attending would recommend it to out-of-town friends and/or relatives.

I once met a guy who claims to have invented "and/or" in relation to an inheritance or tax thingy. Someone was to be out of a will if they did thing 1 or thing 2--since the person was doing BOTH thing 1 and thing 2, it was argued (and possibly won) that the or condition was not met.

Which makes total sense if you don't think about it.

Where and how I met the and/or dude isn't really important, so no follow-up questions, please.

None of which has anything to do with the bank Walk off the Earth.

Song: "Red Hands"
Artist: Walk off the Earth

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Great job inter-webz!

Amy Poehler or Tina Fey, the hostesses (or girl hosts) of the Golden Globes this year, made a joke about Daniel Day-Lewis playing E.T. in the movie E.T. the Extra Terrestrial Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. Now, through the miracles of the series of tubes, the proof is right there in Wikipedia (it vies with The Onion in terms of misinformation, but The Onion's is intentional).

Hopefully someone with a clue about table formatting in HTML can fix whatever the fast person did initially.

Song of the Day: "Pi's Lullaby"

The song is much better if you know it's "Pi's Lullaby" and not "Piss Lullaby"--a helpful hint.

The movie is Life of Pi not Life of Pie or Life of Bi.

And I haven't seen it. True story.

You're welcome.

Song: "Pi's Lullaby"
Artist: who can say, really