Saturday, August 18, 2012

Song of the Day: "When I'm Gone"

New, sweetly earnest, music from Joey + Rory from their His and Hers album. I like them for their rambunctious (apparently that's how you spell that) music, but this works as well.

Not that we need another Allison Krauss & Union Station. But it's great that these 2 can rock out "Cheater Cheater" and something like this.

Song: "When I'm Gone"
Artist: Joey + Rory

Friday, August 17, 2012

Free Pussy Riot!!!

Vladimir Putin action figure (horse sold separately)
George W. Bush looked him in the eye and was able to get a sense of his soul.
This could be parsed a number of ways:
Free? Pussy, riot!
Free pussy! Riot!
Or simply free Pussy Riot, the Russian girl group convicted of hooliganism, a charge they received after playing a song critical of Vladimir Putin in a church in Moscow.

I'm sure hooliganism rivals many other -isms as a plague on society. Malapropism, anthropomorphism, criticism, favoritism and my very hated nepotism--none of these hold a candle to the hooliganism. Maybe jingoism (it rhymes with jism, which is also an -ism, kinda).

Anywho, poor pussies. Here are some rockers sympathetic to your plight.

Rock on rocker chicks! May you be the next Václav Havel or Nelson Mandela.

Song of the Day: "Only In My Dreams"

If I told you this was an old Strawberry Alarm Clock track, or something from another old psychedelic pop band, you'd believe me, right? 'Cause it is. Exactly the same way my penis is 9".

Which is the say that it's not.

It only FEELS like it's 9" sounds like a classic psychedelic song. It's actually new and from Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti (yes, still with the whole name). Mature Themes, their follow up to Before Today, is out next week.

And I like the music at least as much as I dislike the band's name. Download a free MP3 of the song here.

Song: "Only In My Dreams"
Artist: Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti

Sports news you can use (I didn't say for what)

Via Square Hippies
The dude from Creed called,
he wants his Jesus imagery back.

Tim Tebow is the new quarterguard of the NY Jetibles, an American rules feetsball team in the New York area. He will "wrestle for top" with Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, seen below auditioning for Baywatch: The Musical.
Via The Real Steve Gray
"How many people does he need,
how many boys, how many girls?"
I trust J-rod's hatred for both (well, hatred for Tebow, more like animated disdain for "Pretty Boy" Sanchez) to keep me updated. Or not. Just wanted to post the pictures, if you want to know the truth.

Bronze medalist Danell Levya
Bronze is the new gold
A hat tip to Big Gay John who shared the story of how Danell Levya does the sextings, which is what all the kids are doing, but not with me, which is why it's an outrage.
ESPN magazine
He is also part of the annual photo essay "Bodies We Want" in ESPN magazine.

Also ESPN has a magazine now.

Also in the essay, Rob Gronkowski who is allegedly a tight end, but I'll be the judge of that.
ESPN magazine
For Your Consideration: Guest Actor in a Drama
And finally, "fratty as fuck" gold medalist (he also won bronze, which is good because bronze is the new gold) Ryan Lochte will appear in an upcoming episode of 90210. Deadspin has the details in "Ryan Lochte is a Really Good Actor, You Guys" and "Ryan Lochte Had a Tough Time Learning His Lines for His Cameo on 90210".

Also apparently 90210 is still on the air.

OMG maybe he can be in Magic Mike 2!!!

He can BE Magic Mike 2!!!

Or maybe Magic Mike Too!!!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

They do have a certain appeal

Via Mark Allen

Who cares about the lack of philosophical integrity of Paul Ryan's budget plan: either health care for seniors IS something worth providing, in which case why not continue the efficient and popular Medicare, or it's NOT, in which case end Medicare--the idea of privatizing it, which instantly increases all costs to account for the profit typically made by for-profit insurance companies, is just flat-out dumb; it's not like private industry has in any way controlled cost over the last 40 years. Aside from denying claims and dropping people once they get sick. That they've done.

You know Mittens AND Paul Ryan both have individual mandates in their respective health care plans. Which is awesome. Especially since that's totes legal. It's also tyranny and/or socialisms, but whatev.

But this isn't about that. Policy and actual voting records and all that are boring. They are. Boring.

Mittens is handsome and Paul Ryan has like 6% body fat (he's ripped from the SAS70 workout plan).

Plus I hear Obammer isn't even from the US. He's from like Kenya. And his wife hates white people.

Song of the Day: "Handwritten"

The Gaslight Anthem are part of my summer of arena rock from a few years ago. Calling them the least notable of the bands is more a testament to how taken I was with The Hold Steady and Kings of Leon than anything about the band--they wear their Springsteen-ish-ness as a badge of honor and it predates my late-in-life respect for that music. I really do have a problem with sounding insulting when I don't intend to be. And I blame the Gaslight Anthem for that personally.

Actually that would be silly. I've never met them (or if I have it was under circumstances where I did not know I was meeting the Gaslight Anthem--those happen).

There was going to be some cliche (my cliche) about how the band's sound seems less driven after Craig Finn's solo album, which would have revealed me confusing them with The Hold Steady and then hilarity would ensue (it would, I swear).

Instead I'll quote this from the video's YouTube page: "the most onion-chopping ninja outro ever" -- seriously, try to find one more onion-chopping. You can't.

Handwritten is the title track from their fourth album. And don't blame them for my not really loving Craig Finn's solo album.

Song: "Handwritten"
Artist: The Gaslight Anthem

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

This was some of my Tuesday

The Picnic _____  
I tried to find a place to fill the "eat something good in about an hour" during happy hour times while avoiding the crowds and happiness of happy hour (technically I'm only allowed at grumpy hours) now that Violetta is closed--I was meeting Clark and David before the Sneakin' Out show and didn't want to do Luc Lac again so soon (what with them not having air conditioning and it being hot). I caught sight of this place on my way into work Monday morning and it seemed to fit the bill.

The problem? I can't seem to remember its name. It's not The Picnic Basket. It's not The Picnic Table. It's The Picnic House. Just rolls of the tongue. Not my tongue, mind you, but a tongue somewhere I'm sure.

I don't think the Inward Facing Melanie had a hand in designing this restaurant or picking its menu, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out she did.

It's got shabby chic/French provincial/bohemian oozing from its pores.


Why is there a bugle on the table? Who cares!

Which isn't to say this is the only aesthetic in Melanie's repertoire. She is also a fan of modern/minimalist style and also of a look I call "large stacks of books... everywhere." I'm sure you've seen the look before, she's very influential like that.

The menu is a nice balance of Melanie's preference for things that look cute (stacked cubes of grilled watermelon covered in a compote of blueberries, so cute!) with things that are foodie (artisanal, free range, herbed, always served in a reduction of something and always ALWAYS served with a crostini). I don't mean any of this derisively, I'm just thrilled at how nicely they've anticipated her needs. If they have some kind of a textured thing, like letter press stationery or hand-tinted tote bag, I bet she'd consider moving here.

Sneakin' Out at Director Park
Then we watched the dudes play for a while.

And now the door to my shed is orange. In accordance with the prophesies.

You will note the skeleton of the deluxe hammock system to the right of the shed. I'm sure the ripping noise I heard when I was sitting on it earlier this week has nothing to do with the absence of a hammock in this photo.

And this little dude reminded me of Willy, so I took his picture. Since he didn't bark at me like a batshit crazy canine I decided they aren't related.

Quick, name the restaurant I wrote about earlier?


Song of the Day: "Reboot the Mission"

I have 2 cousins named Mick. One Mick Jones was in Foreigner and we all know how that turned out. The other Mick Jones was in The Clash and then Big Audio Dynamite and then Big Audio Dynamite II and then Big Audio and then Carbon Silicon. His duet with Roddy Frame, "Good Morning Britain" is Aztec Camera's second highest charting single in the US and one of my least favorite Aztec Camera songs--but I was so giddy to see it in a juke box during my trip to London in 2004 that I played it anyway.

I need to remember to tell Roddy this when I see him in a couple of months. I know you know how interesting all my bon mots are.

How or why cousin Mick ended up on this Wallflowers track, the first single from their post-hiatus album Glad All Over, is unknown to me. I keep expecting to hear "the magnificent seven" shouted during the bridge.

Still, it's better than "Good Morning Britain."

Song: "Reboot the Mission"
Artist: Wallflowers/Mick Jones

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Song of the Day: "Let's Go"

Matt of Matt & Kim
Previously on the Matt & Kim Show, Matt and Kim took off all their clothes for the video of that song (you know it, it was in a commercial, [different song, same exact sound] you just didn't know it was them, and when I tell you it's called "Lessons Learned" it's not going to jog your memory a bit).

Erykah Badu would later strip like this in her video for "Window Seat"--with a shout out to Matt & Kim in the video credits--at the grassy knoll (the place George H.W. Bush killed John F. Kennedy) and would be arrested because, hello, middle aged black women are NOT skinny white trust fund kids. Shit. Take that mess to Oak Cliff.

I like Matt & Kim, but I recognize in them an "everyone's a winner!" type of self esteem, a little higher than might be expected given the talent on display (SEE ALSO: Zooey Deschanel, singer; Zooey Deschanel, actor). I also fully recognize that my slight skepticism will somehow grant them an odd posterity, while a band I truly adore like Stornaway will join The La's and The Proclaimers in the obscurity bin. You're welcome Matt & Kim. Now go get Erykah Badu out of jail.

Song: "Let's Go"
Artist: Matt & Kim

Monday, August 13, 2012

Congratulations to Michael Phelps

Ad for Louis Vuitton; photo by Annie Leibovitz via Towleroad
Congratulations to Michael Phelps for winning a lot of jewelry during that thing last week!!!

He now has more jewelry than anyone else!

I guess he will now return to prison to serve out the rest of his sentence for smoking pots, which is a criminal act that ruins your life.

Don't do drugs, kids.

Your life will be ruined if you do.

R.I.P. David Rakoff

I don't know what NPR show I heard him on the first time, but it was surely an NPR show. Rakoff was  an essayist because I'm not a reader. So the fact that I've read many of his works must mean that he's not a writer per se. Essays I can read. Rakoff I read. 

And I know what won me over. And I present that to you in its entirety, from Don't Get Too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems, the emphasis mine:

“For most of my life, I would have automatically said that I would opt for conscientious objector status, and in general, I still would. But the spirit of the question is would I ever, and there are instances where I might. If immediate intervention would have circumvented the genocide in Rwanda or stopped the Janjaweed in Darfur, would I choose pacifism? Of course not. Scott Simon, the reporter for National Public Radio and a committed lifelong Quaker, has written that it took looking into mass graves in former Yugoslavia to convince him that force is sometimes the only option to deter our species' murderous impulses.
While we're on the subject of the horrors of war, and humanity's most poisonous and least charitable attributes, let me not forget to mention Barbara Bush (that would be former First Lady and presidential mother as opposed to W's liquor-swilling, Girl Gone Wild, human ashtray of a daughter. I'm sorry, that's not fair. I've no idea if she smokes.) When the administration censored images of the flag-draped coffins of the young men and women being killed in Iraq - purportedly to respect "the privacy of the families" and not to minimize and cover up the true nature and consequences of the war - the family matriarch expressed her support for what was ultimately her son's decision by saying on Good Morning America on March 18, 2003, "Why should we hear about body bags and deaths? I mean it's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"
Mrs. Bush is not getting any younger. When she eventually ceases to walk among us we will undoubtedly see photographs of her flag-draped coffin. Whatever obituaries that run will admiringly mention those wizened, dynastic loins of hers and praise her staunch refusal to color her hair or glamorize her image. But will they remember this particular statement of hers, this "Let them eat cake" for the twenty-first century? Unlikely, since it received far too little play and definitely insufficient outrage when she said it. So let us promise herewith to never forget her callous disregard for other parents' children while her own son was sending them to make the ultimate sacrifice, while asking of the rest of us little more than to promise to go shopping. Commit the quote to memory and say it whenever her name comes up. Remind others how she lacked even the bare minimum of human integrity, the most basic requirement of decency that says if you support a war, you should be willing, if not to join those nineteen-year-olds yourself, then at least, at the very least, to acknowledge that said war was actually going on. Stupid fucking cow.”
That sounds exactly like a woman who raised a war criminal/criminal against peace/entitled drunkard frat boy retard cry baby. I'm sure all the women she talks to at her country club agree with her. I'm sure of it.

Rakoff passed away due to complications from his decades-long battle with cancer. He was 47.

At 87, Barbara Bush is still alive, and very much still a cunt. All the women I talk to at her country club agree with me on that.

Rest in peace dude.

Song of the Day: "Too Close"

Clark was trying to tell me about a song sometime in the last few days. "It changes tempo" was his primary description. He sang some of it, in the way you sing something without knowing the lyrics.

It sounded to me like the song they play the living shit out of when you watch The Daily Show or Colbert online. Which I do.

I think it's in a mobile phone service's ad, but that browser window is is usually minimized or in the background. My pie charts are important and that's what I'm watching.

Long story short (too late) and this is the dude! Alex Clare (real named Alexander Claire--I think we can all agree the "i" in Claire: totally gay). Actually he used to perform as Alexander G. Meurtos which, I'm pretty sure, is Alexander Death. Which I'm sure he picked to express his darkness, per se.

Anywho, here's Clare Danes.

Song: "Too Close"
Artist: Alex Clare

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Olympics or Gay Porn?

I've already forgotten who sent this to me, but hat tip to whomever.

Buzzfeed did a nice job assembling some of the more homoerotic images of the games.

How could I let this go untouched?

Henrik Rummel, someone beat me to it
I've fallen behind. The world is counting on me to weigh in on the Olympicals and I've been too busy.

For example, the US men's rowing rowers won a bronze (it's the new gold!!!) and one of  them was bulgerrific on the medal stand. How could I not be all over that?

Well, I don't know, but maybe I assumed that this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this had it covered. Also he says it wasn't erect.

So good for him, all that size even after the blood gets used elsewhere.

I'm not a size queen, but I can be impressed.

And you, Mr. Bronze Medalist, have impressed.

Belated Birthday to Eric

My timing is off. Yesterday was his birthday but we took him to lunch Thursday. Then he left for the socialist Canadia. As he does.

Socialisms and morphine.

This isn't late, it's just converted from metric. - I've already printed the coupon I plan to use for your birthday lunch.

E is one of the most frugal peeps I know (Kara calls him "cheap" and I trust her assessment). At some point I should figure out a way to pit him against Big Gay John.

I told Kara that John will buy an Entertainer coupon book and use a good half of the coupons and she said "oh, we do too." I really did use a coupon for his birthday lunch. I don't know that he would have come downtown otherwise.

Here's some Beth Orton. I thought this was an original mix, but it sounds remix-y to me.

I think he missed his chance to own "Farmyard Cat"--here's "Looking for Atlantis" as a lesser substitute.

I don't think we've ever discussed Swing Out Sister, but I'm trusting my assessment of his musical taste and flat out anglophilia to bless this one as okay.

Happy metric socialized birthday-ish-ness, dude! Rock on!

Song of the Day: " Anna Sun"

I always think this is someone else (quelle surprise! I hear you in your mock French) but it's Walk the Moon. They're from Cincinnati and this is their major label debut.

And for some reason reading that made me think of Jimmy Eat World who I liked very very much. Like all 3 albums, the singles from those. I wonder where they went?

Anywho, I'm sure major label life will go better for these guys because record labels only get paid when their artists succeed. Oh wait, they get paid either way?

Esquire named this song of the summer last summer. Apparently my $8 subscription lapsed. Sorry I'm so late to the party. The dudes from Jimmy Eat World are taking forever to valet park all the cars.

Song: "Anna Sun"
Artist: Walk the Moon