Saturday, July 14, 2012

Song of the Day: "Drive"

There's something about this song from Cheyenne Jackson that reminds me of Jane Siberry's "Hockey" so if you ever hear me singing different lyrics to this, you know, when we're out and about, that's why. I'm doing a real-time mash-up for you. You're welcome in advance.

This is not a cover of the Cars. Or R.E.M. In case that wasn't super obvious.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to convince Google that I do, in fact, have an account with them. Possibly the very same one I use for this blog. And that's the account for my Android phone which has been nightmarishly rebooting on me because who doesn't love having your phone start a reboot loop when you're trying to talk to your mom (okay, maybe it's not all bad)?

Song: "Drive"
Artist: Cheyenne Jackson (oh, pretend I made a joke about him being Janet's cousin, that never gets old)

Friday, July 13, 2012

I said I was Batman...

I just didn't say that I was Batman as Dorothy in a Golden Girls-inspired Super Friends.

Happy Birthday Al Santos

Al Santos in Grosse Pointe

Al Santos in Grosse Pointe

What happened to all the quality television shows?

Happy birthday dude! Rock on! And call me!

Continuing support for our athletes

First, since you obviously can't be expected to figure this out for yourself, here's a countdown timer for the games at the place with all the people. It's possible I'm intentionally avoiding specific mentions that violate something. Hooray!!!

Today we celebrate a few of the men representing Team USA at this year's thing in less than 2 weeks (you know, I assume that timer is right but aren't opening ceremonies typically on a Friday???). Your mileage may vary. I consider myself indemnified (if that's a good thing) with that disclaimer.

If It's Hip It's Here
It seems that 4 years ago a blogger had this great idea for a game: identify the Olympic swimmer based on his abs. If It's Hip, It's Here: Waterproof Six-packs: "Guess the Olympic Swimmer's Abs" Is My Kind Of Game

Since someone did that work already I'll just encourage you to go there and do that, thus saving myself all the annoyance of dealing with photo after photo of shirtless men.

You've seen one chiseled torso, you've seen them all, right? Well, just to make sure, I'll keep looking. Someone needs to confirm that, and I might as well, since I'm here.

Oh, hey, here are some of the 2012 swimmers, in no particular order. Click a pic to embiggen it.
Conor Dwyer / Clarke Burkle / Brendan Hansen
Jimmy Feigen / Tyler McGill / Nathan Adrian
Ricky Berens (and his butt) / Anthony Ervin / Matt Grevers
And one of the most important members for Team USA Swimming: Coach Gregg Troy's Amazing Asymmetrical Mustache. (I feel like that should be "moustache" but blogger is giving me spelling errors.)
Gregg Troy's Remarkable Mustache
Actually the mustache may be symmetrical, it might be his head that's the problem. Regardless, I hope the mustache can carry the US flag during opening ceremonies. Or at least gets interviewed by the ghost of Jim McKay (rest in peace).

My hospitality remains steadfast. If any of these men need a place to stay for a while, they should just stop by. Especially if no one if looking for them.

Song of the Day: "History's Door"

The band is Husky. And by that I mean the band's name is Husky and not that the band's members are husky, a term Sears used for its, ahem, larger sizes of clothing. These guys appears to be all mediums and larges, with maybe one XL among them.

Actually since the band is Australian, I'm sure they have some whole other size system in place where small is like a koala and large is like a dingo and XXXL is like a fat fucking bastard.

I think I thought this was someone else (I know you're shocked by this as it's not something I've ever done in the past). The story might be remotely amusing if I could remember who.

I'm sure it's someone from the recent spate of guitar-drive lyrical pop, a la Head and the Heart, Walk the Moon, The Lumineers, Imagine Dragons, and your various [Word] the [Word] bands. If you want something more specific than that, seek counseling. Why would you think I would become that dude just because you decided to be so needy today? Friday the 13th? Pffff.

The non-husky boys of Husky open for Shearwater next Thursday here in Portland at Mississippi Studios. But I'll be in Seattle, so screw them and their bad timing. Could be a good show if you're around (I mean, the quality of the show shouldn't vary based on your proximity, just... you know what, if you didn't follow that, never mind).

Song: "History's Door"
Artist: Husky

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Song of the Day: "Octopus"

The good news: Kele OkayIcan'tspellhislastnameikay made peace with the rest of Bloc Party (fun fact: they're not the Arcade Fire) and have a new song from an upcoming album.


The better news: I have no idea who this is or why this is, but h/t to Kate for sending McLaren.

Who is McLaren? Why is McLaren? Will McLaren do this thing with a belt while Dean Cain and Todd Palin are around?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Do you?


And possibly Dean Cain.

New Bloc Party is probably out later this year. That's usually the case in situations like this.

Song: "Octopus"
Artist: Bloc Party

I love it so much I think I'll marry it!

(h/t Towleroad)

Jimmy Fallon is teh FUNZ!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wouldn't it be funny to go to Applebee's?

Song of the Day: "As Is"

I have no idea why I decided to listen to the new-ish Van Halen yesterday. Why do I do any of the things I do? (Hungry, horny, bored, lonely, drunk, high... wait, what?)

Sometime over the 4th of July holiday I found myself talking about Van Halen with a 21 year old. I felt old. Like seriously old.

David Lee Roth is back with the band. OMG OMG OMG yawn. I'm more of a Van Hagar man myself. Still, holy 1981 Batman, right? Yeah, sure. It's almost like nothing's changed. But then my homework was never quite like this.

Is this song "Hot for Teacher" pitched up a few BPMs? Probably.

Does it matter? Probably not.

Seriously, I just did Van Halen, with no outside influence.

Song: "As Is"
Artist: Van Halen

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

In all fairness, they didn't say a LOT more

This is from the website of the hotel I'm staying at in Washington for my grandmother's memorial service at Arlington.
And here's what you get when you click the "read more" link. Leaving out the "only" might have helped but then I wouldn't have known to interpret that as a long way or not. (Not, I'm guessing.)

Middle-aged dude goes to a rock show?

That seems unlikely... but, still, I'm on the list.

The Themals, we like The Thermals. Rock and fucking roll.

What's not to like?

Bat got your tongue?

(h/t Mashable)

Fun fact: Burt Ward, the actual Robin from the 60s TV series: huge penis.

Song of the Day: "Knock Knock"

OMG, you know how I get, right? The tangent and then the other tangent and then the other OTHER tangent and suddenly it's "dog wrestling, how cute!!!" I'm not always super billable.

Remember the other day when we talked about the gymnasties? "Like it was just the other day" I hear you saying, which is weird since I have headphones on. Back then I predicted the next Olympical thing we'd discuss would be wrestling.

And I was right!!!

Imagine that, me predicting something and then me also fulfilling that prediction.

But did you know that they let girls wrestle now? They do! And even at the Olympicses. Isn't that adorable? Medals and everything, like it's a real sport. What's next? Dog wrestling! I'm sure of it. So sure that I am going to get Gracie a singlet and soon. That girl will kick some doggie ass in the wrestling place of competition (me, always with the sports talking, I know).

And here's what's even more hysterical: a girl wrestler got disqualified for the pots!!! Stephany Lee has been banned for 1 year by Team USA Wrestling after testing positive for THC, a thing you do when you smoke the pots. And everyone who has ever smoked pots before knows, you become an AMAZING wrestler instantly. Have you ever been to a Phish concert? It's like Wrestlemania. Wrestlemania with patchouli.

L: Jake Varner (you can see his bong hidden in the lower part of the singlet)
C: A different Jake Varner w/others from beach volleyball (why is this here?)
R: Beach wrestling, it's a thing; coming soon: dog wrestling?
OMG I have already lost interest in this post. I think it's time for lunch or something. Jake Varner is just one of the non-pots-smoked wrestlies that is representing us USAers at the London Olympics in the not-too-distant future (for exact dates, look it the fuck up, you're already on a computer). His picture, and the picture of a dude with his name but not him is up there, etc. I get distracted. Hush.

Oh, hey, new Band of Horses which is teh AWEsum. LOVES them. Despite the fact that no actual horses are in the band.

Song: "Knock Knock"
Artist: Band of Horses

This might be important later

It pertains to my trip to D.C. for Nan's memorial service.

Talk among yourselves...

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Monday, July 9, 2012

R.I.P. Ernest Borgnine

You already know he won an Oscar for Marty (which I haven't seen--add it to the list of other gritty character-driven blue collar dramas, like Come Back, Little Sheba and On the Waterfront for a marathon I'll pretend I'm going to watch). So let's visit some lesser know facts about Ernie.

1. He was married to Ethel Merman. For a month. That's it, just 1 month. In Ethel's autobiography the chapter dedicated to the marriage is one blank page. Oh, snap.

Jan-Michael Vincent
(in porn as Kip Noll)
2. He co-starred in the seminal 80s drama Airwolf with Jan-Michael Vincent who, I am surprised to learn just now, is still alive.

I thought there was an OD at some point.

Oh, right, not all ODs are fatal.

Airwolf was produced by the dude who made Magnum P.I. and Quantum Leap and I'll bet you can just imagine the synthesized theme song already.

It was the first, and thus far only, television series to feature a wolf flying a helicopter. Or it's possible I never saw it.

3. It's been 18 years since Friends debuted. 18!!! Which means it's been 17 years since all the Friends knock-off shows debuted. Who can forget The Single Guy? Consider yourselves lucky. White people in big apartments, must be Manhattan! Or a Chuck Lorre show.

4. He's the voice of Mermaid Man on SpongeBob SquarePants. 

5. The secret to Borgnine's longevity and health (he lived to be 95): he masturbated a lot. God bless.

Rest in peace dude.

Song of the Day: "The Keepers"

Today I learned that make-believe has a hyphen. Sure, it's a compound noun but so is wallpaper, and that's not wall-paper is it? (Is it?)

Then I found a shit load (shitload? shit-load?) of times when "make believe" is just 2 words but means the same thing.

Then I remembered what a knowledgeable scholar of language once told me: fuck it, it's language, keep doing it the same way and eventually that becomes the way. 

It's why "literally" now could mean either literally OR figuratively, depending on which asshat is saying it. (Ass-hat? Ass hat?)

Which kind of asshat are you?

Here's Santigold from her Master of My Make-Believe album.

Song: "The Keepers"
Artist: Santigold

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Song of the Day: "Calling Me Names"

Good Old War are from Philadelphia. They take their name from substrings of the 3 band members' last names, which I think is clever.  Come Back as Rain is their third album.

Normally I'd take the presence of the word "war" in the band name as a jumping off point to remind everyone that George W. Bush is a criminal against peace/war criminal, and Dick Cheney is both plus war profiteer.

Or I'd point out that at nearly 11 years (and counting), our War of/on Terror in Afghanistan is America's longest war ever!!! I'd mention how never before had American's been given a tax cut during a war which is a significant cause of the deficit (no wait, sorry, current guy's black, it's all his fault) and how troops returning from war aren't getting the mental health or medical support they need, which is a fucking travesty (SUPPORT THE TROOPS!!!! should not mean "support the idea of war"; it should mean supporting the actual men and women who answer the call to serve [and their families], possibly by not sending them into a war that should never have happened [I saw Colin Powell on The Daily Show--he's the only member of the Bush Administration that I've ever seen show regret over Iraq, and even he says he's glad we invaded, to git Saddam]).

Or I'd even point out that now the US is losing more troops to suicide than to combat.

But I'm just not up to it today.

Did I mention the band's from Philly?

Song: "Calling Me Names"
Artist: Good Old War (Goodwin, Arnold, Schwartz)