Saturday, July 7, 2012

My on-going obsession with sports

(h/t Towleroad)

Top left: Jake Dalton; Bottom left: Jonathon Horton
Right: Daniel Levya
How's your Saturday? Mine is great! I've already been to Home Depot and Best Buy twice (HD once, in between Best Buy, it's a whole long big box story, I'll save it for later) and while I didn't stop at Hooters, I did have fried chicken when I got home. And I've been obsessing about sports ever since.

Top: Steven Legendre
Bottom: Alexander Naddour
You know me and sporting events: I can't get enough of them, from the NASCARs to the basketing balls to the Hooper Bowl (not a thing?), I'm the biggest athletic supporter around. Or I have the biggest athletic supporter around. I will model it later on cam4, 100 tokens to flash (I don't even know what that means).

Anyway, people think I'm only into water sports. You know, the men in Speedos stuff. But I'm not. I mean, sure, I enjoy water sports. Who doesn't? But only water sports? Yawn.

But occasionally it's good to get up, dry off and get sweaty in the gym. Like these gymnasticals. These are dudes from Team USA's gymnasticals and they will compete in London at the Olympics in, well, you don't need me to tell you how long until the Olympics. I mean I hope you don't, cause I don't have it in front of me.

As with the divers, Team USA and their alternates are cordially invited to visit me here at the house. Especially if they don't know what chloroform smells like. (What?)

Oh, and click to embiggen pics... is Legendre wearing underwear? Let me know in comments.

Next up? Probably wrestling.

Song of the Day: "It All Belongs to Me"

Monica meet Brandy... oh, you've already met? Awkward.

Whose man was he after all? What, he's already moved on to at least 8 other women since then? You don't say.

I like that they worked together again, but I do wish they'd held out for something a bit more timeless than this "Irreplaceable" knock off. I'm pretty sure that Facebook reference will sound quaint in about 5 years. Apple stopped making the MacBook a year ago (MacBook Pro and MacBook Air are current), so girl just let him take that: technology fades. And you don't want to see what kind of nasty shit he downloaded.

Song: "It All Belongs to Me"
Artist: Monica/Brandy or Brandy/Monica

Friday, July 6, 2012

Prior to today I had no idea what a calumny was

Much like Sarah Palin increasing my vocabulary be teaching me what a blood libel is (here) another Republican who could not be bothered to serve out his full term has done the same. The dude: Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R, MI). The word: columnies.


  1. The making of false and defamatory statements in order to damage someone's reputation; slander.
  2. A false and slanderous statement.

But you probably already knew that.

Here's a wordle of his resignation (full text here):

McCotter's nightmarish month and a half includes his failure to get on the primary ballot for re-election, allegations of fraud in trying to get on the ballot for re-election and his racy TV pilot was leaked to the press.

I like the fact that he didn't even fake enough signatures to get on the ballot.

I mean I like the fact that he allegedly didn't even fake enough signatures to get on the ballot. That actually might help his defense. "If I was going to fake signatures, wouldn't I fake enough?"

He needed 1,000. Faking that could have taken like 3 hours.

Actually to his credit, McCotter withdrew his name from the primary ballot when the fraud was uncovered and he is cooperating with the investigation. Or so he says.

McCotter represents represented a part of the Detroit metro area that is over 90% white (it may or may not include my company's world headquarters, not that I have a job), and his abrupt departure, pretty late in an election year, kinda leaves his district fucked. The primary is next month, the general election 4 months away. Under Michigan law a special election needs to be called to fill the seat, and that would only be until January when the winner in the general election is seated. But screw the residents of Novi, Livonia and the rest of Michigan's 11th.

Fun fact: Thad's major goal per his resignation? Finding a job. Funner fact: he had a job!!! And while it's maybe admirable to admit he's busy looking for his next job and not cashing a pay check from his current gig at the same time, the whole screwing over the constituents makes it lame. Also every other member of the House, 1/3 of the members of the Senate, and the President, are all doing the exact same fucking thing, kinda. Campaigns are just people trying to get a job via re-election. And so what if policy is created to help that cause.

I hope the TV pilot has a role for the feisty Bristol Palin, because her Lifetime show sucks. Lifetime's even moved the show out of prime time. Or so I've heard. I don't care enough to look.

Song of the Day: "Who"

David Byrne's latest album collaborator is St. Vincent (she's one of the array of artists on Here Lies Love, so not their first meeting), recording Love This Giant and touring together to support it (they'll each do their own sets in addition to the new stuff, for all you "just play the hits" people). They are at Portland's Schlitz Lite Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall Oct. 18. Which, if you're still struggling with what to get me for my birthday, wouldn't suck (tickets to the show, the concert hall itself would be too much [but if you insist]). Just saying.

St. Vincent, real name Vincent D'onofrio Annie Clark is from Dallas. Actually she's from the podunk more rural Lake Highlands area where Clark's (my Clark) mom lives!!! zOMG I wonder if she knows Clark!!! Probably not, he didn't go to high school there and they would have been (cough) a few years apart even if he had.

Holy crap, here's who also went to Lake Highland High School, possibly at a different time than Annie: Morgan Fairchild, Amy Acker (I'm almost positive she was somebody on Angel but, much like the existence of Connor, I seem to have wiped the entirety of the show from my memory [geeky Angel reference, FTW!]) and Mark Sailing from teh Gleez.

Sailing and Clark (Annie Clark) are the same age and went to the same high school. I wonder if Sailing knows Clark (my Clark)--they wouldn't necessarily have to have met in high school [CUE: gay innuendo music].

Here's a picture of Sailing who, so far as I know, has nothing to do with this song. I think he's more of a Kenny Chesney fan, I'm guessing. But then who isn't?

Also her uncle is in Tuck & Patti. Is either Tuck or Patti. I'm guessing Tuck.

As St. Vincent, Annie's music takes some time for me to embrace. After reading a review of her at Bonnaroo (here) I'm adding her recent and first albums (having the second, duh) to my library queue. I will give you another chance Annie DiFranco Clark/St. Vincent. If only for Mark Sailing's (and Clark's mom's) sake.

Song: "Who"
Artist: David Byrne/St. Vincent

Thursday, July 5, 2012

And so concludes the extra innings of Midge

I was right.

The vet thought I might be over-reacting, that it might just be the heat.

Like I'm going to make that mistake twice. (DISCLAIMER: While not necessarily that specific mistake, there are countless mistakes I will make two or more times.)

So Midge is off to her next adventure leaving us to clean up the stray dirty socks strewn about the house.

Rest in peace girl.
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Song of the Day: "4 A.M."

Clark and Midge, July 5

Well that sucked. Fourth of July fireworks started in my neighborhood around 4:30, a good 2+ hours earlier than expected. Which meant Midge hadn't had her nerve pills, and once the fun begins she is generally inconsolable.

It was a rough night for her, and she seems pretty out of it today. She's not eating or drinking, but I do get some tail wags. But I think that's just her happy personality reflex (Rebel's was to bolt)--she's not reacting to words or phrases she normally would and she turned down a Jack in the Box breakfast bowl. Something's not right. But I told the vet I would happily pay for a house call to have her (the vet, a girl vet!!!) tell me "not today" again. It might get old eventually but hasn't yet.

Meanwhile, Melanie Fiona, African-Canadian (well, black Canadian) brings us today's song of the day. You remember her from this or this or this, right?

I'll let you know what the vet says.

Song: "4 A.M."
Artist: Melanie Fiona

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Song of the Day: "Henrietta"

None of these is the right Kelly V.
I thought it was really cool of Yeasayer to write a song about Kelly V's baby girl Henrietta. I tried to find a picture of Kelly but only found these 3 other women who share her name. Or she has stolen one of their identities (that sounds as likely, to be honest). Actually I really wanted to find pics of the baby daddy, but requires me going to the kitchen to look at the souvenir pint glass with both their names (they are actually married, but that's never held me back in the past). The kitchen is a whole other room. Instead, here are some naked hockey players.
Kids, stay in AIDS, don't do AIDS, something something AIDS
Back to the song: it's from the forthcoming Fragrant World. I'm sure you remember the band from "O.N.E." and "Ambling Alp"--yes, that's them! Yes, from Brooklyn.

I did think it was weird of them to write a song with lyrics like "we can make love forever" for a baby, but it turns out my middle aged ears are just hearing things. "We can live on forever "is a perfectly acceptable lyric for a baby. Baby daddies are a whole other thing.

Fun fact: the accompanying video is actually a vignette intended to accompany the consumption of drugs. Probably Claritin.

Song of the Day: "Henrietta"
Artist: Yeasayer

An update on the extra innings of Midge

2 months of extra innings

Gracie won't let Midge have a moment
It's the Fourth of July, my least favorite day. The fucking fireworks are out.

Midge, who has been a concern of mine for 2 full months now (in addition to about a decade) is in freakout mode.

The doggie downers I found myself surprised to be requesting from the vet are nowhere to be found (but the doggie painkillers seem to cover pretty well). So now I need a Xanax.

Midge is in the basement, in Clark's old room, huddled with David. Clark's moved upstairs and there's too much visibility--they're on all sides. At least if this were a hostile invasion I'd be allowed to go and harm the neighbors.

But I'm not. In fact, writing about it here might make any run in seem premeditated, which it (hypothetical it) isn't.

It's 12:25 a.m. and someone is setting off fireworks. I am going to harm a neighbor.

But not in a premeditated way.

Midge is still with us. Her breathing is more labored; she tires quickly (as do I). 2012 continues to suck.

The theme song for today continues to be Aimee Mann's "Fourth of July"
Oh, baby, I wonder if when you are older, someday
You'll wake up and say, 'my god, I should have told her
What would it take?

UPDATE:It is worth mentioning that we have been blessed to get this much extra time with Midge. I'm not saying she's having the best time of her life, but she's been to the river and to the park and been eating a lot of pineapple sherbert (the official sherbert to mask the taste of Tramadol). When she had emergency surgery I hoped to get an extra week with her. So as much as I hate my neighbors, I am grateful for the time with Midge.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Song of the Day: "Nothing to Remember"

I haven't seen The Hungarian Games yet, so I got confused for a minute, thinking that Thor is one of them hung Garys. He's not. His brother is. That's why the confusion: his brother.

So I made that convenient guide to who is and isn't in the movie. I kept typing "John" under Josh's name because he looks so much like Big Gay John in that picture, it's uncanny... well, a little canny.

Also there are some girls, probably. SPOILER ALERT: one of them might marry Tom Cruise. Just saying.

Neko Case did a song for the movie. And also she was one of the 2 sirens on Aqua Teen Hunger Force which is just awesome meeting awesome from where I'm sitting.

Song: "Something to Remember"
Artist: Neko Case

Monday, July 2, 2012

The hippos were BEYOND hungry...

Via Smith
2 Hungry Hungry Hippo references in 1 day (that's 4 hungry hippos net)? Yes, that has been my Monday. 

I mean, so far. It's still not over.

The trailer below via Jason.

Song of the Day: "Love Is"

Love Is...
Indulging a partner's fetish
even if it turns you off.
Get your Monday morning groove on with a little R. Kelly, water sports optional. 

Only if you're into it, otherwise I think it's weird too.

But if you don't try it you won't know if it's a turn on for you.

I'm just saying.

Yeah, I was totally kidding about that if you think it's gross. Totally gross.

Song: "Love Is"
Artist: R. Kelly

Excellence in advertising

From Towleroad via Twitter
As you know, Tom Cruise is a perfectly normal human male.

That he couldn't make a third marriage work doesn't necessarily mean the marriage itself was a sham, a stunt or in any way a business deal. Prenuptial agreements are common and they just make sense. Especially in a state like California with its ridiculous laws that give lazy stay-at-home moms half (HALF!) of what the man earns if there's a divorce. And the man still has to pay for her to raise her kids. So it just makes sense, the prenup.

Since Mimi Rogers is 11 years older than Nicole Kidman, who is 12 years older than Katie Holmes, I'm pegging Tom's fourth wife as a white actress, early 20s, with a limited but respectable resume. Smith suggested Jennifer Lawrence (actually he was Johnny on the Spot with ideas last week), but with an Oscar nomination already for Winter's Bone (its porn spoof title is also Winter's Bone) she may be out of his price range. Not that he has a price range. Or the marriage to Katie Holmes was based on anything but love and/or possibly professional respect.

Apparently Ms. Winfrey does not allow clips from her shows on the youtubes, but this lovely recreation will stand as an excellent proxy. This is perfectly normal, human-seeming behavior. I'm sure Mittens Romney would agree.

Cruise enthused over Katie's body of work, and when Oprah asked what, specifically (like a good moderator), Tom said "all of it." He loved everything she had been in!  I'm sure including The Singing Detective and Phone Booth (it's the opposite of Cellular). 

If you answer a question with "all of them" or "everything" and no specific example of anything, I know you're bullshitting me... keep this in mind if you're ever interviewing for a job at my company and I ask about regression.

Dakota Fanning and Nina Dobrev are both on my short list, but I could also see him partnering with someone who might help him in the Asian or Latin film markets (but only if it's true  love, for sure). Since I'm an American I don't know any non-white actresses under 30 (are there any?)... Willow Smith!

Oh, I am suddenly inspired by the idea of Tom Cruise with Bristol Palin. Lifetime, make that happen!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Song of the Day: "Old Mythologies"

The Barr Brothers perform at Pick-a-thon, here at Pendarvis Farm, next month (August is now next month). You know who else is going to Pick-a-thon? Me!

Well, I got tickets for Saturday. Whether I use them for myself or sell them to someone eager to actually go be outside amongst people who are camping for 12 hours is another story altogether.

I don't recall if Barr Brothers are included in the schedule that gets me most of what I want to see (Langhorne Slim, Nico Case, Dr. Dogg, Cass McCombs) or not. I think Bowerbirds are.

Song: "Old Mythologies"
Artist: The Barr Brothers