Saturday, May 26, 2012

Song of the Day: "The Reflection of You"

Gary Kemp
Earlier in the week (here) we followed the career progression for the artists currently known as The 2 Bears after 1 of the Bears from The 3 Bears (of "Goldilocks &" fame) left to replace Gary Kemp in Spandau Ballet (FUN FACT: Gary Kemp was in The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston who recently drowned in a bathtub; and I downloaded his solo album using Fregal free track downloads courtesy of my public library, because libraries are the most awesome form of socialism ever).

I omitted the fact that the Bear died shortly thereafter and now records as Bear in Heaven, which is where today's song of the day comes in. I know this sounds like the rantings of a man strung out on Mother's sandwich cookies and Diet Pepsi, trying to be clever and not just rehash the same basic band bio ("oh look, they're from Brooklyn, how unique") and I guess I don't blame your cynicism: drowned in a bathtub? As if.

Bear in Heaven are from Brooklyn. I Love You, It's Cool is their fourth album. Whitney Houston was killed by the Illuminati as a blood sacrifice the way they killed Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse drowned in a bathtub.



Song: "The Reflection of You"
Artist: Bear in Heaven

Friday, May 25, 2012

Song of the Day: "I Can't Keep You In My Mind"

La Sera is a side project of a dude (girl dude) from Vivian Girls. I confuse Vivian Girls with Dum Dum Girls and now I have a third thing to confuse with those others. Hooray.

Sees the Light is her second album as La Sera.



Song: "I Can't Keep You In My Mind"
Artist: La Sera

Rites of passage, growing seamen edition

2012 Herndon Climb USNA
2012 Herndon Climb USNA or
Spring Abercrombie catalog
Everyone who knows me knows that I am synonymous with valor and service. Or at least that I am am an enthusiast of those who serve. Even before the end of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" I was doing all I could for young men in uniform. If you remember the old slogan "we do more before 9:00 a.m. than most people do all day" -- well, let's just say I helped inspire that

L: Naval Academy Cadets with an open invitation to stay at my house
R: 19-year old Andrew Craig of Tulsa, Oklahoma, reaching the tip
The Herndon Climb is an annual rite of the freshman class at the US Naval Academy. It involves a phallic monument coated in creamy white lubricant and dozens upon dozens of shirtless young men on top of each other. And I am not making this part up.

Ty Herndon
Plebes at the end of their first year must work together to replace a paper cup on the top of the monument with an upperclassman's hat, thus symbolizing their, um, the, um. Sorry, got a little distracted. Did I mention 50 pounds of lard?
The monument is in honor of Ty Herndon who has probably done as much as I have to help ease the pressures of young seamen around the country. Neither of us as much as Kenny Chesney, to be sure, but we try.

We definitely try.

Now here's some Denice Williams.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

Happy Birthday Patti LaBelle

This post has taken me forever as I keep getting delayed with connectivity issues. And you don't want to know what that's like in my house, life without internet access. It's not pretty.

Today is super popular for birthdays--in the past we've done Rosanne Cash and Bob Dylan. It's both Jim Broadbent's and Alfred Molina's birthday (they're not the same person but they occupy the same quality British character actor space in my head).

And it's Patti LaBelle's birthday which I assumed you figured out when you read the title to this post.

Anyway, you remember back during the Motown Returns to the Apollo special, back in the 80s, during the big finale, when Patti and Diana Ross seemed to have a fight over a microphone? Me neither (not born yet, certainly not in college), but according to gay lore, Patti, unquestionably the better singer, was putting Miss Ross (no eye contact, please) in her place, part of a decades-long feud after Diana recruited Cindy Birdsong away from Patti LaBelle and the Bluebells to be Florence Ballard's replacement (well, to fill the empty spot) after Flo's untimely death. Anyway, I'm often unable to stop from grabbing the mic myself, and I'm not diva (what?!)... here, watch. And whatever you do, do not give the microphone to Tito, the man's an idiot.


I love me some old school Philly girl group/doo-wap. I love me some glam LaBelle (and you know I super love me some Nona Hendryx). You're "Lady Marmaladed" out so how about LaBelle doing Sylvester?


Patti has 2 Grammys, 2 Emmy nominations, a CableACE Award ("I was great in that Arliss!"-Jenna Maroney, TGS), 4 NAACP Image Awards and a BET Lifetime Achievement Award. And her internet probably works. Here's a great song performed at a thing for the Statue of Liberty from 1986. I'm going to bed.


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the Day: "Don't Say"

Breckin Meyer & Ryan Phillippe in 54
Remember Stars on 45? They introduced non-fabulous Americans to the mega-mix (teh gayz having been exposed to mega-mixes since, I don't know, birth) and had a few hits including a mostly Beatles medley and another medley (details here).

Then in the late 90s there was that movie 54, where people were actually kinda serious about Mike Meyers maybe getting an Oscar nomination and director Mark Christopher proved himself adept at working with actors of Ryan Phillippe's caliber (mainly by having him remove his shirt), and Stars on 54 (Amber, Ultra Nate and Jocelyn Enriquez [who is Filipino and I only point that out because Clark and I discussed how that's with an "F" and not a "Ph" earlier this morning]) did that awesome cover of Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind" which, to be honest, is far better loved and remembered than the movie. Whatever happened to Neve Campbell anyway?

Scars on 45 have nothing to do with either of those things. They've put out a few singles and LPs (oh look, Grey's Anatomy and One Tree Hill, I am late to the party) but their debut LP only came out last month. This is from that. They're British.

I wonder if they know what happened to Neve Campbell.



Song: "Don't Say"
Artist: Scars on 45

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Oh noes, I used the wrong gravy

My latest someecard
Every morning I get a "trot outside" from Midge is a celebration of the Extra Innings of Midge. And because she's no longer watching her figure, and doesn't particularly care for this dry food I got ("that's for dogs, I'm not eating that shit" you can sense her thinking), breakfast tends to be a melange of leftovers. Something with cheese or a little sauce--the key is that she wants what you're having.

Only I forgot to pretend this morning. I gave her gravy and some fried rice and she looked at me like I had just given her dog food.

Dog food! Indignities!

It's like I got her the blue Mega Ranger when what she specifically asked for was the green Mega Ranger, which is the cool one! The blue one is like the Holocaust x 9/11. 

And dogs are supposed to help lower my blood pressure?

The Midge health update for Weds: she's healthy enough to give me attitude about her breakfast. In the Jones family that counts as okay.

Here are the kids from yesterday afternoon:



Song of the Day: "Work"


If you don't know The 2 Bears, perhaps you know an earlier incarnation: first as The Bears, then The Bears featuring Goldilocks, then Goldilocks & the 3 Bears, then Goldilocks made some movies and started on her solo career so the rest of the band made a go of it as The 3 Bears, briefly as The New Originals, back to The 3 Bears, 2 months as The 3 Bears featuring Traylor Howard, then The Bears 3, and after one of the 3 left to replace Gary Kemp in Spandau Ballet there was a brief flirtation with creating Destiny's Bears (that was a nightmare); so Sarah and Keren are just continuing as The 2 Bears.

When you listen, I'll bet you agree that you've never heard the band sound better.

And you haven't, have you?

"Work" is from Be Strong, their album from January of this year.



Song: "Work"
Artist: The 2 Bears

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Song of the Day: "Renegade"

Hot or not?
Patricia Denise "Patty" Crash counts among her fans a woman named Courtney Love. Expect a Hole song that sounds just like this one very soon.

Actually Crash's real name is Audur Katrin and she's from Iceland, now living in Philadelphia. She's recorded with The Roots and worked with Gym Class Heroes (at the American Apparel store in the King of Prussia Mall, probably).

I'm sure she took her name from Darby Crash who took his name from Terrance Trent Darby who now goes by the name Meta Whirled Peas.

I do expect Hole to release a song that sounds like this eventually.



Song: "Renegade"
Artist: Patty Crash

"Maybe eat a ham salad..."

I stayed in and worked on some reports on Sunday, and caught up on stuff saved to my DVR. 30 Rock finished the season far better than I expected, and Billy Baldwin as Lance Drake Mandrell, one of the stars of Kidnapped by Danger! The Avery Jessup Story, Brought To You With Limited Commercial Interruption By Pride Bladder Control Pads, is hopefully on his way to an Emmy nomination.

I'm crossing my fingers that he'll be back for the final season when Liz Lemon leaves TGS to start a new sitcom about  a girl writer working on a sketch comedy show--Mandrell can play a character loosely based on Jack Donaghy. Ivy Lynn can play the character based on Jenna.

The live episode was a mixed bag, but this clip was a favorite of mine. Brian Williams sat in for the West Coast broadcast, swapping out from Jon Hamm in the East Coast.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Thank you Elise and Claire!!!

Midge is sooooo very into these treats
Elise and Claire (and maybe Kara and/or Eric) sent over get well treats for Midge and OMG she is loving them!

She reluctantly shared with Willy and Gracie too. You can see the enthusiasm below.


The Extra Innings of Midge continue.

As do my allergies.

Song of the Day: "Call Me Maybe"

I was very excited about this song because I assumed it was from a new Arrested Development movie, a love song from George Michael to his cousin Maeby. Then I noticed the spelling of maybe was the boring traditional one. Then I saw the video and... then... the Abercrombies came to life.
Carly Rae "Maybe" Jepsen (bottom left)
They came to life.

And they danced.

Of course this isn't really about the dancing young men (although the children are our future and they do need someone to teach them well, and I have a little free time next weekend), it's about the song. So when you watch the video for the eleventh or twelfth time, remember to turn the audio up enough to hear it, for a different experience.
Ryan Idol, unrelated
to this song

The singer is a person. A girl. And she's from the Canadias, and just like the metric system and their gay money, they can't have a regular American Idol like we do, they have something called Canadian Idol.

That's just wrong. Billy Idol, Ryan Idol, American Idol, those are the real ones.

And yet despite all of these flaws, I still find myself interested in watching the video. Obviously that means the song is great!

And it is. I'm not even going to lament the auto-tuning because it's all part of the big, over-the-top, everybody get on the dance floor production style. And it's also far less egregious than Katy Perry. Or her dad, the idiot Rick Perry.

I need to get a new Xbox and some Mike's Hard Lemonade before the big holiday weekend... where are my board shorts?


Song: "Call Me Maybe"
Artist: Carly Rae Jepsen

Sunday, May 20, 2012

R.I.P. Robin Gibb

I guess if I had to pick one, I'd rather have Midge with me here. But it is unfair that another true musical talent passes while the noxious piece of shit Ted Nugent is still around.

Like Donna Summer, Robin is also a 5-time Grammy winner and Disco royalty. A Prince or Duke for sure.

But unlike Donna's post, I'm feeling more melancholy today (rainy today, sunny for Donna, that might be why).
"I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing"



Rest in peace dude. Barry, take care of yourself.

The ironic evolution of marriage equality

So the NAACP has endorsed marriage equality as a  civil right.

Coming close on the heels of Barack HUSSEIN Obama's recent, cough, stunning change of heart in his (r)evolution of the topic.

Conveniently in an election year and at a time when a majority of Americans favor it.

For years now politicians have been talking about civil unions as a way to give teh gayz a little something without all the horrors of attacking the sanctity of marriage (an institution designed to transfer ownership of their property, namely their daughters--there was no same sex marriage in those days because men had no reason to transfer ownership of their sons, and women couldn't own someone's property/daughter... which is super important to remember sometimes; it's not all leave your wife with cancer to marry the mistress, Newt Gingrich). It would be exactly the same as marriage (which comes with over 1,000 [1,138] benefits and privileges under Federal law) except not.

You know, separate but equal.

They've been talking about separate but equal for years now, but the NAACP didn't seem to notice. That seems like the kind of thing they'd pick up on.

It is really convenient for Obammer for them to notice now. Talk about excellent timing that is totally coincidental.

So let me say "thank you" to the NAACP for this endorsement. You're supposed to say thank you when someone does something nice.

However late in the game and possibly self-serving the act may be.

25 years ago (when I was 2) I saw a photo of a controversial float from a pride parade (or possibly rejected from a pride parade), an old 60s convertible with a black couple seated on the boot and "civil rights" banners on the sides. And a drag queen splayed across the hood after having been run over. I'm sure it was rejected for a lack of go-go boys. I have no idea why that image popped into my head.

Joe Solomonese of the Human Rights Campaign Catalog praised the move. Why is he still employed there?

On the FOX News they say that this is all because Obammer wants to win an election. Apparently teh gayz have money (SEE ALSO: the Jews). Embracing marriage equality is a cynical political move in an election year! Thank you FOX News and thank you unhappy Republicans.

Next up, outraged black Christians decry Obama for ignoring the Bible's teaching, while clearly oblivious to the Bible's teachings.

With all this irony I think I need a cocktail.

Happy Birthday Cher

A friend at work helped me with a thing, and her part was to explain the relevance of The Wire to my company's business. In looking for what the library has I found a soundtrack that includes Paul Weller's "Walk on Gilded Splinters"--this is how I first discovered that the song is, in fact, Paul Weller's cover of Dr. John's "Walk on Gilded Splinters."

Then I discovered how many others had covered it, and how many more confuse "gild" with "guild"... it's good to have a hobby.

Cher covered the song on 3614 Jackson Highway. I'd never heard of the album, but its description was fascinating. So this year I won't complain about Cher winning an Oscar for Moonstruck. And I won't repost "Take Me Home."

The album was part of an attempt to evolve Cher's sound using the Dusty in Memphis formula, just modified with less soul, more Dylan. Can I just say how great it is to hear her again without all the auto-tuning. I'm trying to remember to praise the good behavior. Let's start with the song that brought me here:


It's easy to make a shitty cover of Otis Redding's classic, just ask Michael Bolton. Or Sammy Hagar. Or Pearl Jam. Cher avoids the usual mistakes: she doesn't try to outdo the original, make it about her or imbue it with a sense of urgency or foreboding it never had. Part of the original's plaintive nature is the fact that it was recorded just days before Redding's untimely death. Her take is relaxed and it may be the reason that I really took to the record.


I'll conclude with her possibly-too-relaxed tweak on a Dylan classic: "Lay Baby Lay" -- if you haven't heard the Angelique Kidjo's version from Chimes of Freedom, check it out here).


And Cher was really really good in Silkwood. Sadly I can't find the scene of her after her new girlfriend (spoiler alert: she plays a Lebanese woman) has introduced her to make-up. The new girlfriend works at a funeral home. Awe-sum!

Happy birthday dude! Rock on! In a relaxed manner, don't make it all about you.

Song of the Day: "Always"

The Stanleys: Roper and Kowalski
It took seeing Three's Company reruns on TV Land during this week's bouts with insomnia and my always-amusing song of the day unofficial image to inspire me to begin working on a film adaptation/reinvention of Three's Company.

Helen Roper's "Stanley!" will be the post modern feminist reply to Stanley Kowalski's "Stella!"

And there will be misunderstandings galore.

Where's Douglas Carter Beane when you need him? Probably practicing his "look happy for the winner" face as The Tony Awards are next month.

Meanwhile today's song is from The Stanleys, a new band from Perth Australia. It's the title track to their debut EP and the track has a "Matthew Sweet meets The Strokes" vibe, which is really just another way of saying power pop.

In thinking of famous Stanleys for the image I figured Stanley Kubrick and Ralph Stanley wouldn't be recognizable, and apparently I  missed the actual namesake (no, not Paul Weller's Stanley Road album).
Stanley Harvey Eisen
If you want to hear a great mash-up of KISS and Britney Spears, here it is. Why wasn't I more into metal?




Song: "Always"
Artist: The Stanleys