Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Sparks will fly when the whistle blows"

Today is both my dad's, and his cousin Grace's, birthday.

His cousin Grace is Grace Jones, by the way. Hello and/or duh.
This is how a lady crosses a room, whether you like it or not.

Gracie my dog (seen above) is 1 part Grace Kelly, 2 parts Grace Jones. As you might imagine, the Kelly part can be quite recessive at times.

Gracie is named for neither of these women, nor to make a quaint reference to Will & Grace (if I wanted to do that they would be "Beverly" and "Leslie"); she is named after Gracie Cline, my dead friend's mom who I am horrible at writing or calling. I am a bad "son's friend who vows to stay in your live."

"Slave to the Rhythm" is the title track to Grace's seventh album, produced by Trevor Horn-Rimmed Glasses (he shortened his last name to Horn around this time). It is her most successful album commercially, and one of her best regarded (I'm basing that on Allmusic which gives the album 4.5 out of 5 stars, a score shared by 3 of her albums--if you want to argue the point, you know where to find me).

"Jones to the Rhythm" is the opening track and is 1 of 8 variations on "Slave to the Rhythm." Jones is also my dad's last name and the poetic dual meaning of Jones makes this topical as it's also ALSO my dad's birthday too (actual post coming later).
 Happy birthday dude! Rock on! As if anyone could do anything to stop you.

Song of the Day: "Closer"

I am sure by now y'all are over hearing about Midge, so instead I'll focus on 2 other dogs. First up, awesome weekend wishes came from Erin & Greg & Celia & Finn's buddy Blue.
Blue sends happy weekend wishes to Midge and the gang

Just seeing the floors in that picture makes me instantly resent them, just a bit, for having the most perfect house of ever, EVER. They are a reminder that you can have exactly what you want if you 1) know what that is (in their case a distinctive aesthetic and the ability to see opportunity where some might not both probably help a lot--my aesthetic is something like "Flintstones meets Jetsons, settles for eclectic" but it works for me as my standards are low), and B) work r-e-a-l-l-y hard and/or spend lots of money to make it happen. But that's not really important. What IS important is that the text message is reminder that this is, surprisingly, a happy weekend for me--a bow on the present of the Extra Innings of Midge (I considered the Overtime of Midge but that is haunted by the term "sudden death" so let's go with extra innings--they can be really boring and go on a long, long time).

The second dog is Gracie who has been diagnosed with classic hypothyroidism. Fortunately it is very treatable and makes the vet's house visit yesterday a double play (or something, it's entirely possible the based-ball analogy is wearing thin, as most of my analogies do). Also this may be one of the only times the word "classic" is used to describe Gracie.

Which in no way brings us to today's song, from Mindy Smith. I have long confused her with Gretchen Smith of "Redneck Woman" fame. How might I do this when Gretchen WILSON sang "Redneck Woman" you might be wondering. The answer is long and complicated but it ends with me being right and you feeling silly for ever doubting me, so let's just skip it because I don't want you feeling bad. Not today--this is a weekend for happy things, not details like last names.

Mindy is the cousin of coworker Smith, in the way James Earl Jones is my cousin. Family reunions are a hoot with his family too, I'm sure.

I do actually know Mindy from a Dolly Parton tribute album. I seem to recall Dolly, or possibly Entertainment Weekly, praising Mindy's version of "Jolene"--but then I recall a lot of things and not all of them are correct. Or interesting. Her sound is Patty Griffin meets Alison Krauss in the best possible sense (I assume there's some negative way to read that statement, so just wanted to make sure it was clear that wasn't the intent [this time]).

You can get 2 songs as free downloads from Mindy's site (here). Her new album is out next month and apparently the title is a secret. Or I'm not paying attention.

I have no idea what Gretchen Smith Wilson is up to these days... now that Bike Week in Daytona is over.

Song: "Closer"
Artist: Mindy Smith

Friday, May 18, 2012

A shout out to Rufus

Thinking good thoughts for Rufus
Midge isn't the only pet who's ailing, so here's a shout out to our buddy Rufus. He, too, is old. Hang in there buddy (and Kel and P).

It gets better.

Much love from Rich and Clark and Midge and Willy and Gracie.
Rufus and Willy from back in the day

Reports of Midge's passing are premature

Midge gets a repreive
The vet came to the house this afternoon. The plan was to say goodbye to Midge, take Xanax and drink.

Oh, and to have the vet check Gracie for thyroid problem.

While walking Gracie to get a urine sample, Midge trotted along next to us as happy as could be. The vet looked at me and said "I don't think so" or something to that effect.

Apparently I shouldn't be in such a hurry to kill my dogs.

The good news is that the vet said that based on more than just her looking happy.
Daddy Lee came to visit

And the breathing stuff is cause she's old.

I get that. I'm old too.

But THEN the vet said "of course an attack could still come at any time" but now that I have a second in-home euthanasia option (a 24/7 one), I'm less freaked out.

So here's Donna Summer!

Song of the Day: "Crazy Pills"

It's a sad, sad day here. Hopefully Walgreen's will have my crazy pills (Xanax) ready. I will need them this afternoon.

The vet will be here sometime between 4:00 and 5:30. I keep telling myself it's for the best, that if we can say goodbye when she's having mostly good days, before another attack, that it's ideal. It's how I'd want it for myself.

It's probably unfair to Archie Powell & The Exports that I post them as song of the day on a day like this. Sorry dudes.  It's from their second LP, Great Ideas in Action.

Song: "Crazy Pills"
Artist: Archie Powell & The Exports

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Happy Birthday Octavia Violet Sky Ohochinsky

Okay, so maybe 2012 isn't all pain, anguish and loss. Welcome Miss Octavia Violet Sky Ohochinsky (I was a little confused at first, and somehow thought her name was Octavia Ochocinco Ohochinsky which, I think we can all agree, would be awesome-r, but they did pretty good without my help).

I am at a loss for Octavia-themed songs, but the series of tubes helped me out. Here's "Octavia's Requiem:

And not to put too fine a point on it, here's Altered Images:

Happy birthday brand new dude! Rock on and on and on! And go easy on mom when you're a teen.

R.I.P. Donna Summer

2012 sucks.

Someone left my cake out in the rain.

Summers is the Queen of Disco and a 5-time Grammy winner. She was nominated for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but since she's a girl obviously they weren't going to allow that to happen. Her hit "Last Dance" won an Oscar for its writers.

Now get the fuck out on the dance floor. Shit.

Rest in peace dude.

Song of the Day: "The Only Place"

Best Coast's new album, Mexican Summer, seems to be evoking a lot of mentions of a "more mature" sound (which gives me a deja vu of the almost identical descriptions I heard about Train's second album, but them I'm old enough and weird enough to remember something like that). Since I haven't heard either in their entirety I can't (well, I shouldn't) comment. It's just a thing.

Here's a picture of Midge. She's around today and most of tomorrow, then we say goodbye.

Song: "The Only Place"
Artist: Best Coast

The solution: tax cuts for the wealthy

I'm fighting insomnia: some combination of rhinitis, stress and sadness. When I decide it's time to tidy up my room, something's probably wrong. When I do it at 3:30 in the morning, it means I'm bored with porn. It took me like a hour to realize that a Benadryl might help with both allergies and insomnia, so hopefully that's about to kick in. But before I nod off, here's a short clip from Rosanne explaining the dominant American business philosophy of the last 3 decades (at least). You're welcome to extrapolate this to the whole 1%/Occupy thing, I won't micromanage you on that one.

[UPDATE: It might make more sense if you know that I caught this on TV Land during my bout with insomnia.]

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Song of the Day: "QueenS"

When you think about how crisply THEESatisfaction summarizes the way to get along with others -- "whatever you do, don't funk with my groove" -- well, it's surprising they haven't been nominated with a Nobel Peace Prize.  They're every bit as worthy as Barack Obama (and yes I will probably begrudgingly vote for him again, but OMFG I wish Joe Biden or Hillary had primaried him). Or Henry Kissinger.

The primary forces of THEESatisfaction do their thing in Seattle, which is awesome. Not as awesome as if they were rocking it (or flowing) here in Portland, but they're neighbors.  Not close neighbors. Neighbor adjacent.


Song: "QueenS"
Artist: THEESatisfaction

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

If you can't follow this dress code, don't bother trying to go there


Song of the Day: "Take a Walk"

Passion Pit are back--or possibly it's Temper Trap or Naked and Famous. This sometimes (always) happens to me when I first learn about bands around the same time and/or they sound similar to me.

Which one had their music used in Gossip Girl and/or Grey's Anatomy? Doesn't narrow it down, really.

Well, whoever it is, I like this song. It's pounding rhythm would be excellent to walk (as in exercise) to, should anyone out there (totally me) need to do that (I totally need to do that).

Song: "Talk a Walk"
Artist: Passion Pit

Monday, May 14, 2012

Song of the Day: "Payphone"

Here are some things I think we an all come together in agreement on:

  1. No one knows what a payphone is.
  2. Adam Levine doesn't need to use the fucking autotune so much.
  3. Adam Levine doesn't need to wear shirts.
  4. If there are other people in Maroon 5, they must not be very pretty, ergo they don't exist.

The new Maroon 5 (they should be up to like Maroon 9 by now) is produced by Wiz Khalifa, a urinary tract infection that's usually treated with basic antibiotics although fans of herbal remedies recommend eucalyptus and lemon balm.

I personally take pride in the dozen or so uses of the word "fuck" in this song. Most people will credit Cee-Lo Green, but where the fuck do you think he got it? And his wardrobe, that was me too.


Song: "Payphone"
Artist: Maroon 5/Wiz Khalifa

Happy Mother's Day to millions of women who don't realize they're moms per Arizona lawper

[NOTE: I posted this on Sunday, and then it disappeared from my blog, which is weird.]

Lawmakers in Arizona are truly the most smartest in the country. Their declaration that pregnancy begins 2 weeks before conception is surely as smart as declaring someone a college graduate once they've been accepted to the college.

At least that should be the standard for Arizona State University, the university too demanding to award Barack HUSSEIN Obama an honorary doctorate on account of him being a lazy black man too inexperienced. A few months later Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm not sure which is the bigger joke.

But Arizona remains the heart of Real American™ jurisprudence, so fly them flags, build them fences, arrest them illegals, lather, rinse, repeat. Get your mom on ladies!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

More things from my Sunday

Disclaimer: this is NOT Crystal Pepsi

Q: Is there anything sadder than a drag queen drinking alone?

A: Possibly "Delta Dawn"--the purple polyester, lovely hat and wheeled suitcase in the hot sun all speak to a faded rose from days gone by, even if this hastily snapped photo doesn't do her justice. The avocado van adds an oddly appropriate contrast to the purple.

Things from my Sunday

(I thought I rotated it but apparently that didn't work or
didn't save and I don't care enough to try again.)
I got an early start on the morning and got coffee before meeting peeps for brunch. And at a Starbucks on NW 23rd at 8:15 a.m. I found art!!!

Dude's (used in a non-gender-specific way, although "Newt Stremple" sounds like a guy dude... or a clever anagram: "temple strewn"?) Tumblr is Ignorant Art and I declare it a celebration of both the ignorant and art!

Or not. What do I know?

el hombre que ama pico de gallo
Then it was time to wait an hour to have Mother's Day brunch with the longest running temp in my life, Inward Facing Girl. Plus the second Darren and N8. We went to a very popular brunch destination on a HUGELY popular morning for brunch and the wait was only an hour.

I mean the wait for a table was an hour. Food took additional time.

Yes, I know my "they're just fucking eggs" philosophy, and why didn't we go to Joe's Cellar or Doug Fir? We discussed and at the time we expected to wait only 20 more minutes and it was going to take at least 10 minutes to relocate.

And it gave me a chance to catch up with Melanie, and the food was yum. But if the dude at Besaw's ever tells you there's "a little bit of a line," assume that means a 90-minute wait.

I recommended Melanie, Drew and N8 (Nathaniel, but I'm working the hipster moniker pretty heavily--branding: start early, do it often, just like cigarettes) visit St. John's on their way out of the city. Melanie is an avid photographer and I figured the post-mid-century stylings of St. John's (translated: the crappy dive bar signs from the early 70s) and iconic bridge would give her some interesting subjects.
Based on the digital footprints of her Twitter feed they heeded my advice. Suckers.

Next up: picking up Smith at the train station, big gay dinner at Hamburger Mary's (stalkers need not arrive), and, I don't know, hijinks with Willy perhaps.

The holiday convergence

Mother's Day falls on Bea Arthur's birthday. Here's a clip for both: Okay, yes, it's weak on the maternal aspect, what do you want, it's early. Happy birthday dude. Rest in peace.

Song of the Day: "Share My Love"

The musical genius who brought us "I Believe I Can Fly" (which should have prompted a Weird Al parody "I Believe I Comply" about SAS 70 compliance but hasn't [yet]), "I'm Fucking You Tonight" and Trapped in the Closet ("it was a MIDGET! a MIDGET!") is back.

And he brought some friends: the ghosts of 70s soul. Listen close and you'll hear some Teddy Pendergrass, Isaac Hayes and more than a bit of Barry White.

And as long as well all recognize that (including you, R) I got no problem with that. It's soaring and sweeping and ripe for a mash-up with "Can't Get Enough of Your Love." But the minute R pretends this is him only, then we gots to talk. Song: "Share My Love"
Artist: R Kelly