I like the way you say "dehydration"

Totally not gay Grammy winner
Randy Travis

Totally not gay Grammy winner Randy Travis was arrested in Denton TX this morning, all because he was sitting in his car with an open bottle of wine and smelling of alcohol. Or so the buzz kills of the Denton County Sheriff's Department would have you believe.

According to some shit I read, his tour manager blamed the incident on dehydration and a bad reaction to over-the-counter allergy medications.

The Council on Dehydration said, "Pfff" while the Association of Over-the-Counter Allergy Medications released this statement: "Yeah... right."

No one can confirm or deny whether he was merely pretending he was on The A-List: Dallas, but he totally should be next season.