Saturday, November 27, 2010

Iman... in a role that will surprise you

Iman/that dick who tried to bomb Portland
I don't really have anything new for this one. But since dude is a Mawsloomb, it's probably an insult for him if I compare him to (gasp) a woman. So I will as much as I can.

Asshole. (Not you, Iman, him. You're still teh awesum.)

Macy Gray... in a role that will surprise you

Macy Gray/Mohamed Osman Mohamud
I Tried, the wacky story of the failed terror attack in Portland, Oregon, coming soon to Comedy Central.

Okay, a quick minute here. There's a terror attack in Portland and none of you checked on me? (Sure, it failed, but hello, you weren't even a little worried?)

And dude said he wanted to attack Portland because "no one ever thinks of it." Oh snap. You know what bitch, fuck you. Also, you know where no one really ever thinks of? Columbus, Georgia. Go there instead. That square is a block from my office—had that bomb actually gone off, I would have been inconvenienced (I'm sure they would have closed that MAX stop, and it's like 6 blocks to the next one). That's just rude.

I'm eagerly awaiting hearing about how this is a failure of Obama's, which I'm sure we will got on Monday.

Song of the Day: "Ribbons of Light"

Kids of 88 are from New Zealand; that fact, and that I wrote this band/song name down but don't really remember it, means that I likely heard it on Passport: Approved via either KNRK or Y-Rock weeks or months ago. Their debut, Sugarpills, was released back in August.



Song of the Day: "Ribbons of Light"
Artist: Kids of 88

5:00 a.m. on Black Friday

Gracie doesn't really want to go out
I flirted with the idea of participating in Black Friday, planning to hit the downtown Radio Shack (it's so out of the way from traditional Black Friday stores that I could see it getting overlooked, and the sales guy confirmed that last year was pretty quiet) for their discounted netbook. I wasn't super excited about that model at the price, but still, $180 for a Win 7 netbook = not awful.

I set the alarm for 5 a.m. thinking if I changed my mind, I'd just go back to sleep.

5 a.m. and the alarm went off.

I changed my mind.

Unfortunately the go right back to sleep part didn't quite work out.

Hours later I got a $40 coffee maker for only $25 at Lowes (another store I figured would be relatively easy to manage, and it was). And no injuries.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Robert Goulet

An Emmy, a Grammy and a Tony (so close to full EGOT), Goulet was the recipient of the Nelson Muntz quote that I used as the title of the "ha ha" post earlier, totally by coincidence. Sadly I can't find that exact clip (curse you inter-webs) but I can find this:


I don't know if Goulet has a signature song, so let's pretend that it's this, "If Ever I Would Leave You," his big number from the musical Camelot.


Okay, too busy to finish this, so happy birthday dude! Rock on! And to widow Vera Goulet, how you doin'?

Fun with text message autocorrect

(h/t Someecards blog)

Damn You Autocorrect! (here) compiles some pretty funny examples of the unrequested changes your phones make on your behalf when sending text messages. If you like Texts From Last Night (here), and really who doesn't, you'll want to check this out.

"Your manager said for you to shut up!"

(h/t Someecards blog)

"Quit driving your expensive sports car into a street light. Quit driving your expensive sports car into a street light."

Song of the Day: "Indeed I Will"

I'm not sure what inspired David Gray to put what I consider one of the better songs from his recent Foundling album, not on the album itself, but near the end of the bonus tracks that come with the deluxe version of the album. It was as if he wanted to make you as depressed as he possibly could.

And mission accomplished.

I mean with the music leading up to this track, it's gloom city. This track is one of the few moments of optimism, and reading through the various guesses at the lyrics I've found online, it has an almost born again quality to it.

It makes me wonder if the entire album isn't some kind of metaphor about life and salvation: if you make it through the really depressing crap, you will find eternal life—or at least a good pop song—just have faith.


Song: "Indeed I While"
Artist: David Gray

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Song of the Day: "Dead American Writers"

The band is Tired Pony, a supergroup (a group with special powers from Earth's yellow sun) with dude from Snow Patrol, a someone from Belle and Sebastian (not dude though), Editors, Minus 5, Young Fresh Fellows and Pete Buck. The album, The Places We Ran From, was recorded here and, well, that's about all I know.

That and my turkey is done cooking, I'm pretty sure (I turned it off and forget to check the temp and now it's cooled). But the crock pot is pretty fool-proof, and lest you scoff, it's actually really moist (you just don't get the golden delicious skin, but really, it's so moist, whatev).

Now to clean the house before my dad arrives.


Song: "Dead American Writers"
Artist: Tired Pony

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Quote of the day

"He likes to stack men naked, I guess that's a start."Waylon Smithers on new boss Dick Cheney,  from The Simpsons "The Full Monty" episode
How could I resist?

Cunt du Jour: Senator Jon Kyl

(h\t DailyKos)
Cunt du Jour 11/24/2010 Sen. Jon Kyl
Remember when it was all the immigrants? Well it was the immigrants AND it was the taxes AND it was the earmarks.

And the true blue fiscal conservative (cough) Republicans all rallied against the earmarks and decided to agree that they would all abstain from inserting earmarks, proving themselves to be the grown-ups.

That agreement happened 3 days ago.

Guess who inserted an earmark in a bill today.

No really, guess.

Now as far as I'm concerned, he's actually representing the people of his state, but then I didn't tell him to say "no earmarks"... I'm just making fun of his hypocrisy.

Midge misses her boyfriend

A sad and somber Midge
Clark's been gone since last Friday and Midge is really upset. She hasn't gotten to go hang in the front yard once.

It doesn't matter that it's been cold and snowy, there's a principle involved. She enjoys knowing that she has privileges that the other dogs don't enjoy. And her own bedroom (which she lets Clark use).

Happy Birthday Geraldine Fitzgerald

She's been nominated for an Oscar, an Emmy, and a Tony, but you probably know her as the old woman who exclaims "peanuts!" in the movie Arthur.

While I can't find that specific clip (curse you, inter-webs—instead of running hoax abortion polls, try thinking about ME for a change), I did find a clip with her singing "Bye Bye Monkey" in front of the World Trade Center (9/11 changed everything). From what I understand, this was a cable access show starring James Coco and Gerard Depardieu. The blonde actress looks familiar but since she's got to be older than 40 now, it doesn't matter who she is (was).


Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

Song of the Day: "Me and the Moon"

The Drums (yes, again). I've called them a surf rock band. Then I said they were more like The Cure. I think I meant to say Echo and the Bunnymen, but whatev, they definitely feel like a throwback to an early 80s indie Brit sound.

And they look like a mash-up of various John Hughes movies characters from the 80s. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

By the way, it must be torture to be too cool to make a music video but actually have to make a music video to promote your songs. Like having to go to Olan Mills with your family for a Christmas card picture IN SEPTEMBER. It's at the mall and everyone is going to see us in these sweaters! I think that's the look they're giving in this video.


Song: "Me and the Moon"
Artist: The Drums

"It's better than flying"

"Radiation or humiliation" is the cute catch phrase associated with the anti-TSA protests that are supposed to happen today. I predict they will fail—when people start to stress about missing their flights, they'll do the scan.

I am one of those "ideology first, except when inconvenienced" kinds of Americans. Perhaps you know others.

But I was reminded about the evil genius of South Park, with an episode that aired 2 months after September 11th (when, as you may have heard, there were events). A mode of transportation with tubes inserted in your anus and your throat = better than the shit you put up with at the airport.



At least you KNOW you won't be the victim of terrorism (any more than putting up with these excesses already make you one)... unless the terrorists find out that they can pretend to be caterers or baggage handlers to bypass security altogether. Or just go after the cargo. Thank you TSA! America, fuck yeah!

OMG someone used teh inter-webs for a hoax!

(h/t Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon's Broadsheet)

Previously, in a post titles "Frivilous or pathetic?" (here) I wrote about a couple who was allegedly putting to the whims of a random internet poll whether or not to abort his wife's latest pregnancy.

Turns out (quelle surprise) that the dude and his wife are actually expecting (but if the God of the Old Testament is paying attention, not for much longer), but they were never going to abort "Baby Wiggles." Yep he named the "unborn child" because people just, you know, randomly have abortions cause they're SOOOO much fun and everyone else has them (10th one is free!) and they have really great tote bags full of arugula for you when you leave, and maybe THAT would give them something to think about.

So an Old Testament wrath would be that she miscarries this pregnancy. A Dickensian fate would be if his wife dies in child birth. I think the O Henry meets Quentin Tarantino outcome is that the kid grows up and kills the parents. [UPDATE: I thought of a fourth on my way to work, in which the child grows up to perform late term abortions... AND IS A LESBIAN.]

Maybe I'll put it to an internet vote and they can act on that like they're going to act on the outcome to their "should we get an abortion" vote (hell yes, did you see those tote bags?!).

Fuck.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Song of the Day: "Didn't Know What Love Was"

A collaboration between Hot Chip, Hot City and Bernard Sumner--it's part of a collection of singles (well, at least 2) released by Converse (they also released "All Summer" which I featured back in September). I eventually saw a Converse ad that used "All Summer" so let's assume the same will happen here.



Song: "Didn't Know What Love Was"
Artist: Hot Chip/Hot City/Bernard Sumner

I think Becky predicted it would come to this

(h/t Towleroad)


Apparently I'm not the only person who dislikes the TSA.

If you can't see the video above, see it here.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Happy Birthday Rodney Dangerfield

No Emmys, no Oscar, no Tonys (despite performing on Broadway). He does have a Grammy, which technically undermines his "no respect" thing.

He's not my favorite stand-up from that era (see, no respect), but OMFG that's not the point. He is absolutely funny, even with the hackiest stand-up.



The movies are largely forgettable, but Back to School and Caddyshack, well, they're part of our youth (because all of you are my age, +/- 5 years). (Curses to whomever restricted the embedding on Caddyshack clips, it's not like it's Caddyshack II starring the remarkable Randy Quaid, give me a break.)



My one question: why wasn't he in Spaceballs?

Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

"You don’t believe in monogamy"

It's Tony-winning actress Scarlett Johansson's birthday today, and I can't think of a better tribute than the love letter to her by the band The Teenagers, "Starlett Johansson." Not to be confused with the old Frankie Lymon doo-wop group of the 50s, The Teenagers are a French trio ("Les Adolescents"?) who sound (sadly this is a quote and not something I came up with) "like Kraftwerk doing the soundtrack to a porno film."

I love the way they say the words (yes, it's the cliche sound of Europeans speaking English [and yes, I get that the UK is in Europe]), but if I didn't already have a thing (always funny) where I call monogamy "monotony" I would totally just say "mo-no-GA-my." And the way they almost shout "Josh Hartnett"... remember him? I'm guessing the next NCIS will have him attached (Josh Hartnett and Angela Basset, next fall, in NCIS DC--you're welcome CBS).

Oh, and I like Scarlett. There, I said it. But she's totally wrong for NCIS DC.

The Teenagers Starlett Johansson
Uploaded by pink-miu-miu. - See the latest featured music videos.

Happy birthday Scarlett.

Song of the Day: "Give Me the Night"

Earlier I posted the Jennifer Hudson track from the new Quincy Jones album Soul Bossa Nostra. I also called the Amy Winehouse track (let me look) "laughably bad, almost concerning." Since then Jones (my cousin) appeared on The Colbert Report and declared that song ______ (I don't remember for sure: excellent, brilliant, tubular, transfat-free).

Wow. That is a perfect illustration of the cult of personality that permeates Hollywood (technically it's everywhere, but its easiest examples to name, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson, fit comfortably in "Hollywood"--"it's not crazy to have little boys sleep over with no other adults, no, what's weird is that they THINK it's weird"). Seriously, one of the most celebrated musicians thinks this is good. I wonder if that's his jazz background showing up again ("you have to listen to the notes she's not playing"/"I can do that at home"). I can't help but think that Eartha Kitt knocked out a superior version of this song while doing the dishes one evening.

Meanwhile, from the less annoying end of the spectrum, is "Give Me the Night"--written by Rod Temperton and made famous by George Benson 30 years ago.  This time out it's sung ("sung" as in he provided the primary vocal track that's used in the auto-tune software) by Jamie Foxx. And if you've been thinking, for years now, that the one thing really missing from the song was someone saying "the machine" at random intervals, then you're in luck. That's a dude whose rap name is David Banner but whose real name is Lavell Crump. Isn't crumping a thing? Wouldn't you want to keep that name? You know what THE MACHINE never mind.

I like the fairly minimal nature of the arrangement, and appreciate that they kept the jazz vocals from the original (I think it's Patti Austin, which makes a lot of sense for that time since she worked on the album, but I can't find exact credits, so let's assume it's Patti or her just-made-up sister Debbi Austin). In fact, that, um, scat singing (right?) underscores the annoying ubiquity THE MACHINE of rap accompaniment of many (most?) rap/sung collaborations where the "sung" part obviously came first. But then, I'm white, what else would I say? Let's all start a new trend where scat singing replaces rapping for a decade (yes, it will be old quickly, but it will be a new old).

Oh, and I like Jamie Foxx. There, I said it. He brings a breeziness to the song (or Q set auto-tune to "breezy") and the whole thing THE MACHINE ends up a solid effort. For the most part. I'm willing to bet his pre-auto-tuned vocals weren't too bad.


Song: "Give Me the Night"
Artist: Jamie Foxx/David Banner/Quincy Jones

Sunday, November 21, 2010