Saturday, April 10, 2010

R.I.P. Dixie Carter

(Apologies for the video quality here)


As Julia Sugarbaker on Designing Women, she gave voice to show creator Linda Bloodworth-Thomason's political passions (an ironic pairing, since Bloodworth-Thomason is a noted Democrat while Carter was a Republican), in tirades that were ultimately referred to as her "Terminator speeches" (which is weird since Arnold Schwarzenegger only said 74 words [words not lines] of dialog in The Terminator).

But well into the 90s, I think you could have stopped any gay bar cold by playing this video clip and seen a good 75% of the patrons recite this speech pretty much word for word.


I think Designing Women is the best representation of her best work--her speeches let her bring some emotion, she got to play some really broad comedy, and they even let her sing.


She appeared on one season of Diff'rent Strokes (by the way, that show was on 8 seasons, WTF?) only to be replaced by Mary Ann Mobley, and in the series Filthy Rich which paired her with Delta Burke and Ann Wedgeworth, for which Chris Wilson and I are both very thankful.


She starred in the series Family Law after DW, and had two pretty successful runs on Broadway, taking over the roles of Maria Callas in Terrence McNally's Master Class, and Mrs. Meers in Thoroughly Modern Millie (she succeeded Delta Burke in the role).

Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry, who was Carter's assistant early in his television career, brought her on for a season, earning Carter her only Emmy nomination.


When Hal Holbrook was making the awards circuit for his work in Into the Wild, it was a pleasure to see them together on the red carpet. Holbrook recurred on the first 5 seasons of Designing Women as Carter's love interest, and when the character was killed, the following episodes had a real poignancy that convinced me that Holbrook himself had died. As Jon Lovitz would proclaim: "Acting!" (Genius!)

But I will end this with one last funny.


Rest in peace dude.

Wrongs/Rights continued

Yesterday I asserted that Liz Cheney was flat out wrong about the constitutional rights of (accused) "terrorists."

Then I checked in with my sister who has a different interpretation.

Later yesterday, the ever-brilliant Jack sent me here, a different page from the site I found yesterday specific to the "war on terrorism" (I think "George W. Bush's epic failure" is at least as precise a description but it doesn't give Dick Cheney clear credit, so I need to finesse that a little).

He adds:
In terms of habeas corpus you could argue that sections (3) and (7) under "Natural Rights" are relevant rights of personhood and thus can't be removed from anyone, regardless of status in the country. Thus, habeas corpus could be considered a universal right granted by the Constitution.

Additionally, section (6) under "Non-natural rights of personhood, created by social contract" clearly states that that due process in criminal and civil proceedings is a right of "personhood" not of "citizenship," both of which are defined further up in the document. The list of non-natural rights belong to citizens is actually quite short.

I genuinely appreciate everyone's feedback on this one. It's frustrating that some of these concepts aren't crystal clear.

But it's also interesting that the same passages that seem to clearly provide constitutional rights to accused terrorists, also clearly provide the basis for the ruling in the Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission case--effectively ending limits on corporate donations to political campaigns. "Corporations" are a type of "person" and enjoy all the same rights as natural persons... like free speech.

I wonder if Liz Cheney realizes that.

A perfect illustration of an earlier point

Just below I mentioned my recurring confusion of Max von Sydow and Maximilian Schell.

Turner Classic Movies is featuring Judgment at Nuremburg in its Essentials series tonight. On Max von Sydow's birthday they are showing Maximilian Schell's Oscar-winning performance.

Maybe it's not just me.

Happy Birthday Max von Sydow

It's pronounced von-SĒ-dō according to this. And because it's a link from his Wikipedia entry, I assume it's accurate. So keep in mind that you can totally pull something over on me by faking a website that you link to from a Wikipedia entry--I'm that easy to fool.

I will also point out that I'm sure I've confused Max von Sydow with Maximilian Schell at least a few times, which is nuts because von Sydow (81) is Swedish and Schell (79) is Austrian. Also Schell has an Oscar (with 3 additional nominations), while von Sydow only has a nomination for Pelle the Conqueror.

Schell was in The Black Hole and John Carpenter's Vampires while von Sydow was in Flash Gordon and Stephen King's Needful Things. I just can't understand how I would confuse them.

Regardless, von Sydow has turned in some fantastic performances, including the voice of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2. There were no clips in English when I did my quick search, but since G2 airs every 12 days or so on Comedy Central, just check that channel now and there's a .09% chance you'll catch him (assuming 16 minutes of screen time for his dialog, and the 2 hour movie airing once every 12 days).

Here's von Sydow's best scene from Hannah and Her Sisters (strangely just the audio, but it conveys everything), with Barbara Hershey.


I haven't seen The Seventh Seal aside from scenes in a Film History class


I was going to post a scene from The Exorcist but I decided this picture is better--it's the beginning of the climax (and if you haven't seen it, do).

I can't come up with any good reason why a Swede was cast as Jesus in The Greatest Story Ever Told, except that since Richard Burton was the first choice, at least geographically they were getting warmer? (My blogging is random and rambling--I couldn't actually think of a city in Sweden to check the distance to Nazareth [Stockholm, duh, and it's around 2,000 miles], to compare that to the distance from Cardiff [Burton is from Wales] to Nazareth [around 2,300 miles], but there you go, I was right.)

He still works regularly, so don't be all surprised when he picks up another Oscar or Emmy nomination. He's a perfect candidate for that quasi-lifetime achievement Supporting Actor award (see also: Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Gene Hackman).

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the Day: "Bang Pop"

Philly band Free Energy, from their debut album Stuck on Nothing (they had an EP earlier--I don't know if that's important to you, yet here I am typing it).

Love this song and totally recognize 1) that it's Spring (it's got a "seasonal" feel)--by the way, in Portland it's only barely Spring; and B) that this could easily be a one-hit wonder song (that might actually be fueling my enthusiasm).

Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Cynthia Nixon

A few years ago the gay boys were all labeling themselves or others as characters from Sex and the City ("I'm such a Carrie"). No one EVER labeled themselves as a Miranda. No one but me. She has the right combination of aloof and cynical. And we have the same bed frame.

Emmy (one for Sex and the City, one for Law & Order: SVU), Tony (Rabbit Hole) and Grammy winner (for spoken word album) Cynthia Nixon has been acting for 30 years now. And while an Oscar is probably the most difficult of the EGOT awards to win, she's in a good position to complete her set at a relatively young age. Unfortunately she didn't get to reprise her role in Rabbit Hole in the film adaptation (Nicole Kidman... sigh), but I wouldn't be surprised to see her pick up an Oscar for a short film she directs (as Christine Lahti did).

Here she is in Little Darlings (along with Sonya!) from 1980.


While a freshman in college, she made Broadway history by performing in 2 shows simultaneously (Hurlyburly and The Real Thing). When I was a freshman in college I worked part-time at Sears.

In 2008 she announced she had breast cancer and now works as an Ambassador for the Susan G. Komen Foundation (in addition to winning various show business awards).

I won't bother with clips from SATC--if you like the show, you've seen them all.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

An update, and possibly a little nepotism

I have been looking for a clear affirmation of my earlier claim that non-US citizens enjoy constitutional protections if accused of crimes in the US, and I ran that by my little sister (nepotism!) who loves the Constitution and knows it well, and has taught it in high school (and possibly middle school).

Her reply:
The way I interpret The Constitution is that all people within the borders of the United States are required to abide by the laws set out in The Constitution. However, only American citizens are protected by it. So, the idea of a fast and speedy trial does not apply to people who are here illegally. Or it doesn't give large masses of people the right to assemble either, if they are not citizens. (Just to name a few things)

So, the way I see it - they really don't have rights.
Ouch.

Shit.

Do I need to issue an apology to Liz Cheney?

Nah.

There is some gray area, but this from "The Rights of Foreigners in the 'War on Terrorism'" gives me solace:
The full constitutional due process protections apply on U.S. territory to citizens and legal residents or visitors, provided they did not gain legal entry by fraud. That does not mean such foreigners don't have full rights of life, liberty, and property, but due process may be truncated, provided authority for doing so is conferred by Congress, by either a declaration of war or letters of marque and reprisal. That authority is needed for such actions as trial of prisoners by a military tribunal, or putting bounties on the heads of suspects. In the absence of such authority, only defensive actions may be taken, without violating the law, represented by 18 USC 2441, which applies to everyone involved, including the president.

It is clear from the article that an attack "on the US," executed from somewhere else in the world, may not be prosecuted in US criminal courts. So crime committed IN the US, constitutional protections citizen or not; crime committed outside the borders of the US and its territories, can't be prosecuted in criminal courts, ergo no protections. I totally get the gray area, but I will continue to argue that my position is more right than Liz Cheney's.

And I still think I'm smarter than my little sister, but I love having these conversations with her ;-)

A tale of two daughters

"A little nepotism goes a long way"--? (Sadly, I no longer remember the name of the girl who said this to me ironically when she was explaining the very cushy summer job she got working at her dad's Nissan dealership.)
Two quotes caught my attention this morning, and their commonality is the fact that both speakers are public figures, not because of anything they accomplished on their own, but by being daughters of famous people.
"If I can prevent just one person from getting pregnant as a teen, it will be worth it."--Bristol Palin (here)

What if you simultaneously encourage 10 more teens to GET pregnant, and 5 of them have abortions? Still worth it?


I am reluctant to make too much out of this, but it's contingent on how much Bristol continues to willfully stay in a public role telling people how to live their lives. I don't know if she was taught "abstinence only" sex education, or if she didn't pay attention in class, or if she's just intellectually challenged. But since Todd and Sarah Palin got married (8/29/88) after Sarah was knocked up with Track (born 4/20/89--here's the math: 234 days between wedding and birth; average US pregnancy 39-40 weeks, or 273 to 280 days), she's part of a legacy of unplanned pregnancy. You would hope they would spend a little quality time with their kids, trying to end that cycle.

By the way, as an unplanned pregnancy myself, I am not casting aspersions (oh I totally am), I'm just recognizing that OMFG we have to get serious about realistic sex education and contraception for teens, we have to break the cycle--my mom is not yet eligible for Social Security and she is already a great grandmother. Everybody loves everybody and wants the best for them, but it wasn't always easy for us when I was young (my parents both worked really hard and were pretty successful at giving us a really comfortable life--but it would have been nice for my dad to set me up with a sweet job at his Nissan dealership, or to hand me his Senate seat... ah well), and I know my various nephews have had rough times, and the outlook for my great nephew and great niece has me worried. Sigh.

Back to Bristol. I wish the Bristol that said abstinence is "not realistic" (in an interview on FOX News... let's just call it FOX) would come back. Actually here's what she said when asked about contraception: "No. I don't want to get into detail about that. But I think abstinence is, like -- like, the -- I don't know how to put it -- like, the main -- everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it's not realistic at all." Sounds just like her mom--lots of false starts and, SQUIRREL!

Anyway, I hope Bristol is able to enjoy at least a little of the millions of dollars that Sarah Palin is currently enjoying now that she's walked away from her elected office (quitters always win!) and spend quality time with her son(s) (I totally think Trig is also Bristol's kid, but that's a whole other topic), and maybe finds a calling that she can devote herself to (and if it's raising a family, that's great, but if she decides to open a hunting lodge, or become a decorator, or even get into medicine, all good). But unless she goes it alone, I do not want her to hold herself up as an example for others. And if being Sarah Palin's daughter gets her elected to public office or, worse, hired as a lobbyist... well, I will say "I told ya so" but I'll still be pissy about it.

"Somebody needs to keep reminding this administration that foreign terrorists do not have constitutional rights."--Liz Cheney speaking at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference (here)
Liz Cheney has been nepotizing (I like it as a verb) for years now--a State Department job during the George HW Bush administration (her daddy was Secretary of Defense), a "consulting" job working for Richard Armitage (he has a colorful history in the industrial-military complex, and worked under her dad during GHWB), Deputy Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs (when daddy was VP), a break to help run the Bush/Cheney re-election campaign, a return as Principal Deputy Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs (I guess they hired a replacement and, duh, she needed a cush job at the dealership), and head of the Iran Syria Policy and Operations Group in the State Department.

This girl knows how to play the nepotism game. You'll notice that she's Liz Cheney, not Liz Perry or even Liz Cheney-Perry. It just makes things easier when your last name does the heavy lifting, don't you think? Which is why I like to check into hotels as Richard Kenmore.

Recently Liz has become a favorite of conservatives because there isn't a war she doesn't support, there isn't a bad reason to hate Obama, and she doesn't give a rats ass about, well, the US Constitution. Which is sad.

Especially since Liz went to law school, and a real one at that (University of Chicago), not a (we need a term for law schools like Regent, "bible law school" isn't bitchy enough) "bible law school." Presumably they touch on the US Constitution at some point (you would hope, it's kind of expensive so you want to make sure they cover everything).

I hope I'm not dumbing this down too much, but anyone accused of a crime in the United States enjoys constitutional rights. It's one of the greatest things about America.

It won't keep a foreign national from being deported (so an illegal alien convicted of a crime is often just sent home, it's more expedient and there's no chance of appeal), and the Constitution doesn't convey rights to American citizens in other countries (dammit). But otherwise, a foreign national accused of being a terrorist and being held by the US, has constitutional rights.

Or should have constitutional rights.

Apparently she is confusing what is happening with what is actually legal.

Liz Cheney's dad, the war criminal/war profiteer, helped push forth the idea that accused terrorists could be considered enemy combatants and held indefinitely without habeas corpus. When this concept has been challenged in court, it typically ends with a ruling affirming the rights of the accused (see Boumediene v. Bush). He also asserted that, as Vice President, he wasn't part of the Executive Branch of government, so clearly he's a kidder.

That foreigners don't enjoy constitutional rights is an on-going talking point by conservatives (see also: Newt Gingrich), and it's just totally fucking wrong. There is a "public safety" exception with regard to questioning suspects before Miranda Rights are read, but my blanket statement is absolutely more accurate than hers. And my law school is "fuck you, I'm smart" (by way of Becky/Steve Allen).

And as the George W. Bush administration proved repeatedly, just because you say something doesn't actually make it true.

I've long said that irony is the most powerful force in the universe. At work here is the irony that she's enjoying great celebrity speaking to conservatives, many of whom claim to know exactly how healthcare reform is totally unconstitutional, and since the Constitution is so revered it must be overturned. They claim to revere the Constitution, but not when it applies to people they don't like. (And don't get me started on "activist judges" like the 5 who decided Bush v. Gore--it's only "activist" when they inconvenience you.)

She's found a great partner with William Kristol, a man who has been so wrong about so many things that I'm embarrassed for Jon Stewart when he appears on the Daily Show. Seriously, let my dogs be a guest instead, they won't be less correct than Kristol. Fortunately for Kristol, a little nepotism goes a long way and he's made more from his father than Liz has (so far).

I've read that Liz Cheney says she is open to running for public office, which is great. Here's hoping that candidate Liz is asked a lot of really basic questions about the Constitution, perhaps by a high school social studies teacher.

Oh that would be sweet.

In the meantime, University of Chicago Law School, do you ever rescind your degrees?

Song of the Day: "Marlene"

For the first 20 or 30 times I heard this song, I thought it was Los Campesinos!

It is not.

Nor is it an off-shoot.

But OMFG it sounds like it.

It is Lightspeed Champion (aka a guy named Devonté Hynes, born in Houston TX but raised in the UK).

And in the way that LC! is kinda annoying until the song gets under my skin, so too is this song.

Thanks to my dad, I know that perseveration is the technical term for getting a song stuck in your head (actually it's a subset of perseveration, but you can post your rebuttal on your blog and then we'll discuss the imprecise language I use in my early morning posts). This song is why my coworkers or folks near me on MAX may have heard me mumbling/perseverating "everybody knows you want a baby, and god knows everybody wants one too" over the last few weeks.

I tell this to everyone who asks...

I will totally keep this between us, in fact just yesterday I got an email with an offer that could make me millions in just hours, but he (or she) needed to confirm that I could keep in confidential. Why here's that very email:

This is a personal email directed to you for your consideration alone,can i trust you?. Please bear with me for now I have an interesting business proposal for you that will be of immense benefit to both of us. Although this may be hard for you to believe, we stand to gain 7.2 million USD between us in a matter of days. Please grant me the benefit of doubt and hear me out. I need you to signify your interest by replying to this email

Most importantly, I will need you to promise to keep whatever you learn from me between us even if you decide not to go along with me. I will make more details available to you on receipt of a positive response from you. from Malaysia

Thursday, April 8, 2010

16 years ago

I forgot to post something for the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. It's a sad situation, made all the worse by the fact that he is survived by Courtney Love.

Rob at Penn always thought the Pet Shop Boys should cover "Lithium" so that's why I picked it. Also "aqua seafoam shame" is one of my most hated lyrics of ever, so you won't see me pick "All Apologies" but when my company picked a variation of seafoam green as one of our corporate colors, that's what I named it (RGB=25, 104, 114).

RIP Malcolm McLaren

I think it's limiting to refer to him as just the Sex Pistols manager--I almost think he's a UK version of Andy Warhol: impresario, musician, designer, and painter. I don't know that any of what he did was particularly ground-breaking, but a little "right place/right time" and a little variety go a long way in my book. Here's his take on "Buffalo Gals"--back in 1982 this was pretty fucking innovative.


Rest in peace dude.

When you put it that way, it makes sense

(h\t Salon)

Steve Kornacki brings some clarity to John McCain's (R, AZ) recent assertions that he's no maverick (and has never ever ever claimed to be one).
For all of his boasts over the last decade, he hasn't been a classic maverick nearly as much as he's been an opportunist -- and a bit of a sore loser.

The article summarizes things nicely so check it out.

Happy Birthday John Oates

Hall & Oates seem to be enjoying new found respect, which is great. Not that I'm a huge fan, but there's no denying their "ownership" of much of the 80s.

Despite their sales and the fact that they are oozing with Grammy-friendly recordings, they not only have 0 wins, they have only a handful of nominations. I'm going to say only about 5 and 1 of those was from the last Grammys for a live version of something. Unfortunately the Grammy folks don't maintain a searchable database of nominees, and while I know of 2 other earlier nominations (including 1 for a teaming they did with 2 guys from The Temptations), I think there are a couple in like a video category. So I'm going to say between 5 and 8 total nominations. Alicia Keys, Norah Jones, Beyonce, they all laugh at that amount. But Liza, she understands the pain.

They have 34 "Hot 100" singles and 6 #1s, and are inducted in the Songwriters Hall of Fame, so maybe they're just living well on the publishing and not stressing that they have 1 fewer Grammy than Milli Vanilla and Paula Abdul (and, actually, MC Skat Kat too). Oh, and Ben Kingsley has a Grammy--I need to check his EGOT status (this is a total tangent, sorry). Here's a song Oates co-wrote.


Here's another song Oates co-wrote and sings on. And given how regularly I hear this when shopping at Banana Republic, I'm sure those checks are nice as well (songwriters get paid based on airplay, including inclusion in TV shows and commercials [ca-ching] and in-store music [technically you're supposed to have a license to play a radio station in your store]).


And finally, buoyed by its inclusion in 500 Days (of Summer), this song is worth including based on the brilliance of this student made video, filmed in 1 take in reverse.


Happy birthday dude! Sorry about the Grammys.

Song of the Day: "O Maria"

My preference is to find the recorded version, either as an official video, or as a hastily assembled fan video--that way you can hear the version of the song that motivated me to pick it as a song of the day. Alas, that's not readily available for this Sea Wolf song. And I wanted to feature it before it gets too old. The sound is pretty close to what I want you to hear, so I guess this works. I lump them together with British Sea Power and Rogue Wave, only because of the oceanic elements to their names. And proximal release dates. Amazon calls this "indie low-fi/chamber pop" so, you know, there's that.

I like the specificity of the amount

It gives this scam an air of credibility. Also "raffly" is now approved for Scrabble play as far as I am concerned.

STANDARD CHARTERED BANK.
% JAMES HOWARD.
1 ALDERMAN BURY SQUARE LONDON EC2V75B
TEL: +447024094986
FAX: +448712515162
EMAIL:ACCOUNT.ACCOUNTANT.SCBUK@MSN.COM


ATTN: WINNER,

REFERENCE TO THE JUST CONCLUDED PROMO DRAW WHICH WAS CONDUCTED ON THE 6/4/2010 BY STANDARD CHARTERED BANK, THROUGH AN ELECTRONIC SELECTION OF EXCLUSIVE LIST OF 55,000 EMAIL ADDRESSES ON OUR DATABASE, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS BEEN RAFFLY SELECTED AS THIS YEAR 'WINNER OF 49,811,000 GBP.

TO VERIFY, PLEASE DAIL THE PROMO ACCOUNT VERIFICATION #: +447005800230

WITH THE FOLLOWING REFERENCES:

BANK PROMO VERIFICATION CODE: C19750002

ACCOUNT NUMBER: 04944848748384

AS SOON AS THE CONFIRMATION IS COMPLETED, KINDLY PROVIDE US WITH THE FOLLOWING:

1.FULL NAME.

2.TELEPHONE NUMBER.

3.AGE.

4.OCCUPATION.

5.FULL RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS.

AS SOON AS WE GET THE INFORMATION, WE WOULD PROCEED TO THE NEXT STEP OF YOUR CLAIM.

THANKS,
JAMES HOWARD.
STANDARD CHARTERED BANK.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Song of the Day: "Bloodbuzz Ohio"

The National have been together for about a decade, but I only came to hear them a few years ago with their 2007 album Boxer. High Violet, their 5th album, is due in May, and this is the first track. I have no idea what the song is about or what "bloodbuzz" might be, but I find the song utterly hypnotic. Hopefully I will figure it out eventually.
[UPDATE: replacing a yanked video with an OFFISHUL VEVO!!!! love the video too guys!]

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

YOU CAN TOTALLY TRUST ME TO BE DISCREET

SUBJECT: Can You?
From: "Sgt John Moore"
To: undisclosed-recipients

Hi,

Can I trust You, Kindly acknowledge Receipt.

Respectfully,
Sgt. John Moore,
United States Marine Corps. IRAQ.

Rosie calls me a grammar nazi

I've been exchanging tweets with Rosanne Cash (I'm trying to help her with hashtags, but I come off sounding bitchy--it's what I do). But she's taking it in stride. Also, she's working with Billy Bragg which is fucking awesome!!!! The Wheel is one of my favorite albums from the 90s (and she's made a helluva lot of great ones otherwise). Here's the title track.

Happy Birthday Billy Dee Williams

I have an early-ish call today, so I will make this quick. Why Billy Dee Williams (one lonely Emmy nomination)? Fuck you, that's why. You want to make a straight guy over 50 years old cry? Go up to him and say the words "Brian's Song." Seriously, I'm a little too young to have seen this shit when it first aired, but I did. And despite the fact that it's a movie that's kinda about football, I recognize its brilliance.



Every one of Lando's lines combined is under 6 minutes of screen time.


He was supposed to be Two-Face in Tim Burton's Batman movies (alas, we got the normally fantastic Tommy Lee Jones in the hands of what I can only hope was a totally coked up Joel Schumacher--seriously, cocaine abuse would explain so much).

I love love love Undercover Brotha where he plays a "Colin Powell" type who is brainwashed by "the man" (the white man, naturally) to undermine his potential run for President. It's a wonderful homage to blaxploitation movies.


But I think Billy Dee's best role is "Billy Dee Williams." It's a role he was born to play, and he plays it for all it's worth.







Happy birthday dude! Rock the fuck on!

Song of the Day: "Islands"

I'm expecting The xx's debit album from my library, but that doesn't mean we can't do a second track from xx while I'm waiting.

The most happiest woman on earth

The ironic subject of the email is: STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH SCAMMERS

To which I say:
  1. I'd love to, and
  2. You started it.
It's early, you're yelling and this oatmeal is far inferior to my normal stuff (they were out of the really good stuff on Sunday). But I do appreciate this new angle. You see this "American woman" was scammed and "traveled TO Nigeria" and now is offering to help me get my money. Nice.

Her fluent English makes her heritage clear "and bright."And "she's" offering a flat-rate scam; you'd be hard-pressed to find a better total scam for under $300.

Attn:- Beneficiary,

I am an US citizen,  I am one of those that executed a contract in Nigeria years ago and they refused to pay me, I had  paid over $26,000 trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Mr. Daniel Smith, who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment.  Right now I am the most happiest woman on  earth because I have received my compensation funds of $1,500,000.00 Moreover, Mr. Daniel Smith, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and your email address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Mr. Daniel Smith.

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

PENER COMPENSATION HOUSE
Name : Mr. Daniel Smith
Email: dan_smithee11@yahoo.it
tel:- +2348081382006

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.The only money I paid after I met Mr. Daniel Smith was just $290 for the paper works, take note of that.

Once again stop contacting those people, I will  advise you to contact Mr. Daniel Smith so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.
Mrs. Carol Henley.
Tel:- 206-350-9064

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Obama outrage flow chart

Click image to embiggen. And you're welcome (this will save you all kinds of time).

Let's make today "Asthma in Africa Awareness Day"

Since the deceased was a Catholic priest I think they should just save the funds for whatever children he no doubt raped (which would be how he ended up stuck in Africa... duh).

But if you google "respectable and trustworthy" I totally come up in the first 10 hits. Try it. Just ignore the "not" that precedes it. Go ahead. Do it now! [UPDATE: Okay, that was bullshit, but if you Google "if you google respectable and trustworthy" you will get me. Serious. But it has to include "if you google respectable and trustworthy"]


SUBJECT: YET TO GET YOUR RESPONDS TO EARLIER EMAIL

My Dear

My name is CHIEF LADI WILLIAMS, an Attorney at law. and a senior advocate of Nigeria. I got your contact from your local directory while searching for a Respectable and Trustworthy fellow to assist us in an Unclaimed Fund Deposit of US$11.8Million (Eleven Million, Eight Hundred United States Dollars) belonging to our deceased Client.

Our late client was a 78 years Old American Catholic Holy Ghost priest posted here to Nigeria in the 80's on a Missionary Work; he lived all hislife here and owned an NGO (Non- Governmental Organization) that receives Financial Aid (Grant) from the United Nation.

He died of Asthma, and since then no one have come forward to claim this fund he deposited in a Bank here, which he intended to donate to Charity homes as he has been doing.

The Directors of the Bank have issued our firm a notice as his private Attorney that my late clients Deposit is over due for claim.I have tried to search on the Internet to locate any of his relative abroad on whose account this Fund can be paid into without success.

Dear, we wish to present you as the beneficiary/next of kin to my deceased Client fund. I want to assure you that this does not involve any risk, since I,his Attorney is presenting you as his Beneficiary. Every legal documents will be dully procured to ensure a successful and legal claim of the fund on our behalf, else, this fund will be confisticated and directed to the Federal Account.

Kindly go through the sharing Ratio. You will get $3 Million USD as your share, while i get $3 Million USD, we will use $5.8Million USD to establish an orphanage home in any Country of our choice as my client wished, while the balance will be set aside for any expenses that we may incur while processing this transaction.

I will give you more details about this transaction when I receive your affirmative response. Meanwhile kindly send me the Followings Information's,
Full Name:
Age:
Your occupation:
Address:
Telephone number, including your cell phone
Banking information:

Please keep this information as CONFIDENTIAL as possible. Anticipating your prompt and affirmative response.

Above all,i need an assurance on your relaibility and eligibility as my partner in progress.

Yours Sincerely,
CHIEF LADI WILLIAMS

Flashback song: "Long Train Running"

There's a somewhat elaborate overlap of items that contributes to my showcasing Bananarama 2.0's cover of the Doobie Brothers, but I'm not going to waste anyone's time explaining. Just enjoy!


Oh, and what the hell, here's the original.

I guess I better prove I'm not dead, or Janet gets my money

Attention: Beneficiary.

My name is Mr.Frank Nicholas of the International Monetary Fund investigation unit. Attached pictures was received and forewarded to our office here in London UK today the 1st April 2010 , requesting that your unclaimed fund be paid to Janet Williams.

In the said letter of change of beneficiary/ownership, representatives of Janet Williams states that you are dead and as such your fund should be paid to her as the next of kin to you.

Because of the elaborate global scam, we decided to contact you for confirmation. If after seven working days, no responce is received from you, it will be assumed that you are dead and as such authorization and approval will be granted on behalf of Janet Williams to claim/receive your fund.

Confirm this pictures and reconfirm your Information and how you want your fund paid to you without further delay if you are still alive. Send your responce to my email address: internationalmonetaryfund_unit7@yahoo.co.jp

Below is the information you are expected to re-confirm,

1. Full Name:___________________
2. Address:____________________
3. Nationality:_____Sex___________
4. Age:_____ Date of Birth:__________
5. Occupation:___________________
6. Phone:_______Fax:_____________
7. State of Origin:_____Country:_____
8. Driver's lincence:________________
9. Copy Of Your Identity:____________

Regards
Mr. Frank Nicholas
Telephone number:+447 045 712 478

Happy Birthday Melvyn Douglas

I was a little panicked a few minutes ago--it looked like Paula Cole was the biggest birthday of the day, but she's not even close. There are 4 film legends that share a birthday today: Gregory Peck, Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Melvyn Douglas. The least of these is Melvyn Douglas, and he has 2 Oscars, a Tony and an Emmy (the triple-crown of acting).

Here he is in Hud, his first Oscar (Supporting Actor).


I'm not sure what prompted me and Chris to see Ninotchka at an early Saturday morning screening, hung over from an evening of bar hopping in West Hollywood, but I'm so glad we did.


His final Oscar, for 1979's Being There (Supporting Actor):


He won a Tony for The Best Man in 1960, and an Emmy for CBS Playhouse in 1968. No Grammys (can't win 'em all).

Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

Song of the Day: "Window Seat"

Of course, the good people of Dallas TX have fined Erykah Badu because she had the audacity to strip herself nekkid in this video. In public. Thereby exposing children (as in "won't someone think of the...") to a vagina. In public. A vagina in public WITHOUT A COVER CHARGE (I think technically that was the outrageous part).

I mean, if you watch Matt & Kim's "Lessons Learned" video you won't see them strip naked in public (oh wait, you totally will--but they're white, ergo no problem).

Anyway, the City of Dallas (or possibly the County of) have FINALLY found someone who had a child present to press charges so they could ticket Ms. Badu. "Vagina in Public w/o a Cover Charge" is a few hundred dollars I'm sure. Erykah needs to film the sequel here in Portland where public nudity is not illegal (it's also cold and rainy a lot, so it's also not a big problem)--thank/blame the hippies, but nudity alone isn't a ticket-able offense.

Anyway mission: accomplished, because I might never have hear this great song otherwise. So enjoy the song for the song, but be warned, possible vagina included.

I'm not even awake yet, and boom, here's a payment

FROM THE DESK OF MR ROBERT OBI
DIRECTOR,INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPT,
FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA PLC
LAGOS-NIGERIA.


NOTIFICATION OF YOUR PAYMENT BY ATM MASTER CREDIT CARD.

Attention: Beneficiary,

We are hereby notifying you officially about the present arrangement to pay you, your overdue contract/inheritance fund which you could not complete the process of the release of your transfer, through the Digitalized Payment System.

We have decided to pay your funds through (ATM Master Express Credit Card) This arrangement was initiated/constituted by the World Bank and Paris Club, due to fraudulent activities going on within the African Region.

The World Bank and Paris Club introduced this payment arrangement as to enable our contractors/inheritance beneficiaries to receive their funds without any interference. the ATM Master Express Credit Card was contracted and powered by GOLD CARD WORLD WIDE.

Re-confirm the following information to us for Security reasons.


1)YOUR FULL NAME
2)YOUR RECEIVING ADDRESS
3)YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
4)YOUR PROFESSION
5)YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE AMOUNT.


Upon the receipt of these,details we are going to load your fund into the Master Express Credit Card and send a scan copy of the card to you before we will proceed to despatch the card directly to your nominated home addresss so you absolutely have nothing to worry about. All we need is your Prompt Response and Co-operation and by God,s Grace we will have a successful Transaction.


CONGRATULATIONS IN ADVANCE.

BEST REGARDS,
MR ROBERT OBI.


DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPT,
FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA PLC,
LAGOS-NIGERIA.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

And "paws"

The dogs pause from wrastlin' for a minute. Just a minute.

Happy Birthday Elmer Bernstein

An Oscar (with 14 total nominations), an Emmy, with 3 Tony and 5 Grammy nominations to boot, Elmer's music is music for the ages.

The Magnificent Seven



To Kill A Mockingbird


The Ten Commandments


John Landis asked Bernstein to score Animal House like a traditional drama, using the heroic score ironically, giving Bernstein's career a resurgence with 80s comedies.






His last movie, Far From Heaven, was also his final Oscar nomination.


He passed away in 2004, but he leaves behind a legacy of classic film scores.

Happy birthday dude, rest in peace.

Song of the Day: "Fall Hard"

Another track from Shout Out Louds' Work album. Free downloads at their MySpace site (here).