Saturday, April 3, 2010

Mr. Paul Anderson

It's been a while since I made a cartoon out of my many 419 scam emails. Here you go.

This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract file presently on my desk, and I found out that you have not received your payment.due to necessary Verifications & Procedures.

After the board meeting held at our headquarters, we have resolved in finding a solution to the issue, and as you may know, we have arranged your payment through our SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER in Europe, America,Africa and Asia Pacific, which is the instruction given by the Board of Managers. And this instruction is ask to be carried out with immediate effect.

This card center will send you an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw your money on any ATM MACHINE in any part of the world, but the maximum on card is ($41,000.00) Thousand Dollars. So, if you like to receive your fund this way get back required details

(1) Full Name as wanted on Card:
(2) Address:(No P.O.Box)
(3) Phone And Fax Number:
(4) Date Of Birth:
(5) Occupation :


We shall be expecting to receive your information . On this regards, do not hesitate to contact me for more details and direction, and also please do update me with any new development.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Best Regards,
Paul Anderson
Remittance Manager Metropolitan Safe Deposits Plc.

Note: Your code shall be (CARD 4520:2010) Make this code your reference number when contacting us.

Crazy dog wrastlin', a collage

This is all about love and affection. It's what you do when you see a sibling for the first time in months--you start fighting with them, just using words instead of teeth. Canines aren't as verbal (it's a more honest relationship, really).

This is an offer you can trust!

Or not.

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)
15A Awolowo Road, Ikoyi, Lagos.
+234 1 2625189


The Federal Government of Nigeria through provisions in Section 419 of the Criminal Code came up with punitive measures to deter and punish offenders. The Advance Fee Fraud section deal mainly with cases of advance fee fraud (commonly called 419) such as obtaining by false pretence through different fraudulent schemes e.g. contract scam, credit card/ATM card scam, inheritance scam, western union transfer scam, EFCC compensation scam, FBI investigation scam, compensation scam, job scam, loan scam, lottery scam, “wash wash” scam (money washing scam), marriage scam. Immigration scam, counterfeiting and religious scam.

This is to officially announce to you that some scam syndicates were apprehended in Lagos, Nigeria few days ago at western union agent office when they were about to pick up some money sent to them by their scam victims and they were handed over to our Investigation Department, after several interrogations and tortures your name, email address and contact details were among those mentioned by the scam syndicates as a victim of their operations.

After our investigations a meeting was held between the Board of Directors of The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and it was agreed that the sum of ten thousand US Dollars (US$10,000) should be transferred to you out of the funds that Federal Government of Nigeria has set aside to compensate everyone who have sent money to fraudsters in Nigeria, because your name and contact details were among those mentioned by the scam syndicates.

Right now we are working hand in hand with Western Union and Interpol to track every fraudsters down. The purpose for this is to regain the lost glory of our great country Nigeria and to also show the entire world that this government is highly ready to fight corruption, in 2007 we were rated as one of the most corrupt countries in the world and it is never a good title. Do not respond to their e-mails, letters and phone calls any longer they are scammers and you should be very careful to avoid being a victim to fraudsters any longer because they have nothing to offer you but to rip-off what you have worked hard to earn.

Important: Please do not send your email address and password to anybody. Take note of this because there are lots of fraudsters out there claiming to be your email administrator requesting for email address and password. If you have already done that before it is strongly recommended that you change your password immediately or register a new email address.

***Please note that we will NO LONGER be liable for any loss, cost or expense, whatsoever, suffered or incurred by You in connection with the fraudsters. Be warned!

We have deposited your cheque at Western Union Money Transfer agent location at Nigerian Postal Service (NIPOST) Lagos, Nigeria. We have submitted your details to them so that your fund can be transferred to you. We have insured your fund for security reasons and to avoid misappropriation.

Contact the Western Union agent office at NIPOST through the email address stated below inform them about this notification letter and the transfer of your fund;

Yours sincerely,
Maureen Chigozie (Ms)
Internet Scam Complaint Center
The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)

Chief Mrs. Farida Mzamber Waziri (AIG rtd.) or staff of The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission have recently been sending phony e-mails/letters and also calling unsuspecting persons, with intent to defraud them. It is important to note that these fraudsters are criminals engaged in Advanced Fee Fraud known in Nigeria as 419. Every day, people throughout the world are falling victim to scams of one kind or another. But remember - if it sounds too good to be true, it is probably a scam. In the circumstance, we unreservedly advice you to dissociate yourself from all correspondence and transactions entered into based on evidently fraudulent and fictitious claims.

Happy Birthday Doris Day

I confuse her with Dinah Shore in my mind [UPDATE: how the hell else would I confuse them... duh]. I don't think I'm the only one ("Stylistically, Dinah Shore was often compared to two popular singers who followed her in the mid-to-late '40s and early '50s, Doris Day and Patti Page.")

As of 2009 Doris Day was the top female box office draw of all time (suck it Julia Roberts) and among the top 10 when you include real (aka "male") actors because when it's time for a movie, any vagina is fine, but we are all particular about what penis is up there. But Doris Day is the exception. Her vagina is preferred.

She's spent most of her time the past few decades focusing on helping animals, and for that she is awesome.

I was amazed at how creepy "Que Sera Sera" is in The Man Who Knew Too Much (it's Hitchcock, duh), so instead I will feature my favorite song of hers, from Calamity Jane, "Secret Love":

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the Day: "On Directing"

Another track from Tegan and Sara's  Sainthood. My friend Dennis told me to listen to their stuff years ago and I didn't until just recently--turns out he was right. Now he's Canadian... and he's disappeared. Or he's just Canadian, they're kinda quiet.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Republican reminder: George W. Bush, criminal

(h\t Glenn Greenwald)

You know, technically, George W. Bush ought to be spending the rest of his life in prison under "three strikes" laws (3 felonies before he became President--a life-time criminal really, lucky for him he was't black).

Yesterday Federal Judge Vaughn Walker ruled the Bush Administration violated FISA, a criminal law protecting Americans from illegal wiretapping. Which the Bush Administration did. Repeatedly.


And not just on "terrorists" (alleged or otherwise).

Anyone who violates FISA has committed a felony and is subject to up to 5 years in prison and a $10,000 fine for each offense.

This is the third time the Bush Administration has lost a FISA challenge. I'm sure we'll be seeing someone serving time in jail any minute now.

Any minute.

(CUE: Crickets)

Happy Birthday Emmylou Harris

I'm enjoying my day off, and my afternoon nap (it was a really good nap) has my brain still half asleep. Which means my ability to write about Emmylou is hampered. Which is a shame. She represents decades of great music as a solo artist, and as a collaborator. She has 12 Grammys.

Here she is with the late great Gram Parsons from the early 70s.

And here she is with Dolly Parton and Linda Ronstadt; their Trio collaborations are remarkable.

With Gillian Welch (love her!) and Allison Krauss performing a track from O Brother Where Art Thou?

Helping Nanci Griffith (love her) out on a cover of Kate Wolf's "Across the Great Divide" from Nanci's Other Voices, Other Rooms album.

Her collaborations with Daniel Lanois were ostensibly solo albums, but there's no mistaking the imprint he had on her as a producer/musician.

I'll leave you with her cover of Steve Earle's "Goodbye."

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Deep thoughts by Beau Breedlove

(h\t The Advocate)
Beau Breedlove is working to recall Mayor Sam Adams. What's funny is a few months ago I thought I heard that he was heading east to start over, and moving to Provincetown or some place similarly boy-filled. I wonder if he's actually a registered voter in the city of Portland.

His recent statements definitely sound like those of a spurned lover and not of a concerned citizen.
"I haven't turned on him, he turned on me, and I've realized that in the course of the past nine months, the friendship that I thought we had was really him just trying to maintain  what happened."--Breedlove on KXL-AM

I'm pretty sure if Sam called Beau he'd drop everything and run to him.

Sadly Beau is not keeping current on his blog (here), but that makes sense, blogs are for nerds.

Anyway, I transformed some of his last posts into a beautiful word cloud of his deepest thoughts. Click to embiggen because, you know, deep thoughts are deep and need to be studied.

A dinner invitation

A friend/coworker invited me to dinner, and although I've declined the invitation included a Venn diagram that was worth sharing.

She didn't reckon with the fact that my leftovers include tater-tots and turkey meatloaf made with Fritos instead of breadcrumbs.

Also there's a storm coming in and I'm going to take a nap and when I wake up I don't want to have to shower.

R.I.P. John Forsythe

By every account, he was a class act. He passed away today at the age of 92, leaving a legacy that includes the voice of Charlie from Charlie's Angals, and Blake Carrington from Dynasty. Here he is in 1955, with Shirley MacLaine, in Alfred Hitchcock's The Trouble With Harry.

The Denzel movie motif overlap

Song of the Day: "Heaven's On Fire"

Swedish band The Radio Dept.; their 3rd album, Clinging to a Scheme will be out later this month. (T'chris and Sonya: "scheme!")

Thursday, April 1, 2010

A recap on songs of the day (March 2010)

Here's what I included as songs of the day:
k-os 'I Wish I Knew Natalie Portman'
The Mountain Goats 'Genesis 3:23'
Portugal. The Man 'The Dead Dog'
Kate Nash 'Do Wah Do'
Randy Newman 'Almost There'
Chris Isaak/Michelle Branch 'I Lose My Heart'
Alexi Murdoch 'All My Days'
Ryan Bingham 'Country Roads'
Gorillaz 'Stylo'
The Whigs 'Kill Me Carolyne'
Shout Out Louds 'Walls'
Nada Surf 'Electrocution'
The Hot Rats '(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)'
Julian Casablancas 'Out of the Blue'
She & Him 'In the Sun'
Vampire Weekend 'Giving Up the Gun'
The New Pornographers 'Your Hands (Together)'
Yeasayer 'O.N.E.'
The Happy Hollows 'High Wire'
Phoenix 'Fences'
Neon Indian 'Should Have Taken Acid With You'
David Byrne/Fatboy Slim/Santigold 'Please Don't'
The Soft Pack 'Answer to Yourself'
Frightened Rabbit 'Nothing Like You'
Rosanne Cash/Elvis Costello 'Heartaches by the Numbers'
Theophilus London 'Humdrum Town'
Janet Jackson 'Nothing'
The Bird and the Bee 'Maneater'
Los Campesinos! 'There are Listed Buildings'
Miike Snow 'Black and Blue'
LCD Soundsystem 'Drunk Girls'

And here's what I really liked: k-os, The Mountain Goats, Chris Isaak/Michelle Branch, Ryan Bingham, Gorillaz, The Whigs, Nada Surf, Julian Casablancas, She & Him, Vampire Weekend, Yeasayer, Phoenix, David Byrne/Fatboy Slim/Santigold, Frightened Rabbit, Theophilus London, and LCD Soundsystem.

A recap on songs of the day (February 2010)

Here are the songs of the day from February:
The xx 'VCR'
Paris 36 'Loin de Paname'
Die Antwoord 'Enter the Ninja'
Norway 'Beach House'
Ellie Goulding 'Starry Eyed'
Melissa Etheridge 'Fearless Love'
Lady Antebellum 'Need You Now'
VV Brown 'Crying Blood'
Monsters of Folk 'Dear God (sincerely M.O.F.)'
Massive Attack 'Pray for Rain'
Hot Chip 'One Life Stand'
Phenomenal Handclap Band '15 to 20'
Hockey 'Song Away'
Dr. Dog 'Shadow People'
Dina Martina 'The President's Day Song'
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists 'Even Heroes Have to Die'
Phantogram 'Mouth Full of Diamonds'
Rogue Wave 'Good Morning (The Future)'
Exit Clov 'District Menagerie'
Broken Bells 'The High Road'
Janina 'Fantasma'
Randy Newman 'Down in New Orleans'
Moby 'One Time We Lived'
Passion Pit 'Little Secrets'
Surfer Blood 'Swim'
Girls 'Laura'
Martha + the Muffins 'Mess'
Tracey Thorn 'Oh the Divorces'

And here's what I really liked: The xx, Lady Antebellum, VV Brown, Monsters of Folk, Phenomenal Handclap Band, Dr. Dog, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Rogue Wave, Exit Clov, Passion Pit, Martha + the Muffins, and Tracey Thorn

A recap on songs of the day (January 2010)

To help myself come end of the year, I thought I'd try to keep track of what I've liked in smaller chunks (at the end of every quarter, for example). So here's what I included as song of the day back in January:
Yeasayer 'Ambling Alp'
Sinead O'Connor 'Only You'
Reead 'Nobody's Innocent'
The Avett Brothers 'Kick Drum Heart'
Ben Howard 'Cloud Nine'
The Crayon Fields 'All the Pleasures of the World'
Young Fresh Fellows 'Lamp Industries'
Lucy Kaplansky 'Life Threads'
Allison Iraheta 'Friday I'll Be Over U'
Ke$ha 'TiK ToK'
White Denim 'I Start to Run'
Boy George 'Amazing Grace'
Miike Snow 'Siliva'
Alicia Keys 'Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart'
Marion Cotillard 'Take It All'
Duffy 'Smoke without Fire'
Vampire Weekend 'Cousins'
Spoon 'Written in Reverse'
Ian Axel 'This is the New Year'
Royksopp with Robyn 'The Girl and the Robot'
Rihanna 'Redemption Song'
Nona Hendryx 'The Ballad of Rush Limbaugh'
Jay-Z, The Edge, Bono & Rihanna 'Stranded (Haiti Mon Amour)'
Raphael Saadiq 'Staying in Love'
The Magnetic Fields 'We Are Having a Hootenanny Now'
Corinne Bailey Rae 'I'd Do it all Again'
Smashing Pumpkins 'Widow Wake My Mind'
The Depreciation Guild 'Dream About Me'
Pete Holsapple & Chris Stamey 'My Friend the Sun'

And from this list, here's what I really liked: Yeasayer, Miike Snow, Alicia Keys, the Jay-Z/the Edge/Bono/Rihanna collaboration, Nona Hendryx, and The Depreciation Guild.

Song of the Day: "Undercover Martyn"

Two Door Cinema Club from Northern Ireland, off their debut. Love it!

I heart Oregon

"Opponents of the bill seek to turn back the constitutional clock 100 years, returning to a time when the United States Supreme Court routinely struck down legislation designed to protect the health, safety and well-being of the American people"--Oregon Attorney General John Kroger

Oregon is the first state to officially file briefs in support of the healtcare reforms that recently passed (you know, "Obamacare"). So my state's official stance is that it's wrong of insurance companies to reject coverage of a new-born infant for a pre-existing condition.

Georgia, Louisiana, and many other states disagree, and think that baby is at fault, and that the insurance company should keep all those premium payments it received back when it was pretending the baby would be covered because, you know, we have to keep healthcare company executives ultra-wealthy... you can't do that by approving coverage (duh).

Happy Birthday Dr. Rachel Maddow

A Rhodes Scholar with a PhD from Oxford, she is the shit (in a good way)! She is brilliant, thoughtful, articulate and funny. Her show on MSNBC is probably the best news/information show on TV, in large part because the show spends well over 5 minutes on any given segment--she is very good about giving as much background as she can before digging into an on-going issue, and she welcomes her critics to her show.

She is the antidote to Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. And frankly, a welcome relief from Keith Olbermann's special commentaries (really dude, as often as you give them, they're no longer "special").

If her show has a flaw, it's Kent Jones (possibly a cousin). He's just not funny. He's really, really not.

I won't even bother to get into the faux Senate race thing (but it's a blatant example of how despicable politicians are, and why we need publicly funded elections/campaign finance reform).

Here's Rachel at work.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Oh no they didn't

LL Cool J pointed out that the interview scheduled to air on Sarah Palin's whateverthefuck pretend show she's doing tonight is from 2 years ago, and now they've pulled it. And wished him luck with "his fledgling acting career."

Oh, snap.

LL Cool J, who's been a successful rapper for over 20 years (2 Grammys--and don't tell me you weren't impressed when he did "Mama Said Knock You Out" on MTV Unplugged), has been acting pretty solidly for more than a decade. He was in Deep Blue Sea WHERE THEY MAKE SHARKS SUPER SMART AND THEN ARE SURPRISED WHEN THINGS GO BAD!

He has 5 NAACP Image Award nominations! (The "World's Best Grandpa" of entertainment awards!)

For fuck sake, he was named Male Star of Tomorrow (it's a thing--he came between Josh Hartnett and Ryan Gosling, oh there's an image) at ShoWest back in 2003... the year he made Deliver Us From Eva and SWAT.

Anyway, I think my point is that a better dis would have been to wish him luck with his acting "career" (sarcasm at "career" if it's not clear) and leave it at that. Of course if I were LL I'd wish Palin luck at trying to complete the whole hour without quitting.

Cause she's a quitter.

And a fucking idiot.

And a liar.

Take it away J:

I'm sure Bubba wants "his country" back

And the gubbament better stay away from his Social Security--no Socialism for him.

Seriously... nagger please.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Real American Stories with Sarah Palin

After LL Cool J came forward and pointed out that the interview that Fox "News" suggested Palin would be conducted with him was actually done 2 years ago with someone else, Toby Keith's and Jack Welch's people both acknowledged similar situations.

But c'mon people, it's April Fool's Day. Duh.

I'm sure the in-depth interview with Ronald Reagan will be great.

Also Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot.

They had a round up meeting

Also "Shalom Coast Delivery"?

Attn: Beneficiary,

Notification of your non payment in the past years from Benin Republic

This message come from Government of Benin Republic about your non payment in the past years You are one of the list beneficiaries that suppose to receive your unpaid fund during past payment excise from this country Organizers, we notice during our two to three year check that you are among the Twenty Seven (27) beneficiaries that never receive this funds instructed to be paid from this country through Diplomatic means and Couriers service in this country Benin Republic.

After our round up meeting on 25th day March 2010 the Benin Republic Government Organizers, map out this money of Nine Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars will be transfer to you through online ATM Master Card that you can be able to make withdrawals from any ATM Machine in the world this exercise was programmed with the ministry of international affairs and finance approved by the government of this country that this payment should be deliver to all the list beneficiaries listed

Moreover, your transfer payment identity code is (001919) you have to indicate this code in your subject as you contact the appointed courier agent (SHALOM COAST DELIVERY COMPANY), the email address of this appointed Courier and the name of the person in charge of delivering department officer and working telephone number you can use to get in touch with them are states below.

Shalom coast delivery Details are thus below:

Name of the appointed Couriers Service: Shalom coast delivery Benin Republic

Email address:,
Contact person: Mr. Mark Trueman
Telephone number: +229 988 258 77

Do make sure that you contact back to me immediately your have your instructed fund of Nine Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars delivered to your address through appointed Couriers Shalom coast delivery company so that i can have record of the payment that been delivered to the listed beneficiaries.

Furthermore, you are instructed to contact the Shalom coast delivery with your following details below:

1. Your Full Name/Age
2. Your Address where the Shalom coast delivery will send your payment parcel
3. Your working telephone numbers/Occupation:
4. Your identification payment code numbers: 001919

Do let me know as soon as you get your payment delivered.

Dr. Foster Boma

Happy Birthday Christopher Walken

An Oscar (another nomination), and nominations for an Emmy and a Tony. Awards say so little about him since, in addition to being a great actor, he's a true personality. There's nothing I can add, so I'll let his work speak for him.

Normally I'd include his scene with Dennis Hopper from True Romance, but I don't want to put anything quite so violent on my blog (you're welcome mom). So I leave you with "The Continental."

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Expected wait time: 112 years

Hello the stranger. We are not familiar with you. But I very much would like to get acquainted with you on closer. My name is Ekaterina, I from Russia and me of 27 years. I work as the seller in shop and I write to you from work. I when did not get acquainted before with men on the Internet it is my first time. I have decided to find to myself of the partner in life through the Internet and have written to you. I very much was disappointed in men from Russia, I wish to meet now the prince on the Internet. I send to you I wash a photo.

If I have interested you, write to me on mine e-mail:

And I will necessarily answer you. You to me seem very good man with which it will be interesting to communicate. I would like you to learn better and more close to get acquainted. I will wait the answer.

Highly submitted?

I am Barr: Robinson Evans, the newly appointed director general incharge of approving & releasing all owed yet unpaid\Un-released foreign payments and also the special adviser to the United-Nation fighting against the un-neccesary delays of beneficiaries yet unclaimed payment including yours which was recently discovered this week that has not yet been paid to you by the present BRITISH GOVERNMENT after series of investigation conducted.

Kindly view the attached message for further details and get back to me immediately.

Highly Submitted.

Respectfully Yours in-service,
Barrister.Robinson Evans,
(UN) Human Right Activist

Song of the Day: "Drunk Girls"

A new track from LCD Soundsystem. I heard this for the first time yesterday and LOVED it. Yes, it totally has a "Girls on Film" feel to it, but so what? The new album, This is Happening, should be out in May.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

All I had to do was spend $15,000 in a year

Starbucks surprised me recently by upgrading me to their "gold card" program. It's a swanky card (with my name on it) and lots of free stuff (like syrups, soy milk and WiFi time), none of which I'll use much (but I appreciate the upgrade!). And there's a points system, so a free drink every 15 drinks.

I'm kidding about the $15k... but I am a regular. Thanks to Leland, I've learned that the best bang for the buck is an iced Venti quad espresso--4 shots over ice for $2.60 (possibly a nickel more these days). With ice to the top there's enough room for my half and half to make a really pretty iced coffee. And to wake my ass up. Praise Jeebus.

Couldn't happen to a more-deserving liar

For once people have stopped listening to Karl Rove's shit. The man is a colossal liar.

The blessings of Allah are upon me, apparently

From,Mrs.Henriette Conte,

My Dear Friend,

May the blessings of Allah be upon you and your family ,Amen.I am .Mrs.Henriette Conte. I am contacting you with the hope that you will be of great assistance to stand by me in this transaction.

I currently have within my reach the sum of 4.3 million U.S dollars cash which I intend to use for investment purposes.I therefore personally appeal to you seriously and religiously for your urgent assistance to stand by me and recieve this money in your country where I believe it will be safe since I cannot leave the country due to the restriction of movement imposed on the members of my family by the Government now.

This money came as a result of a payback contract deal between my husband and a Russian firm in our country. The Russian partners returned my husbands share .

Presently, the Government has intensified their probe in to my husbands financial resources which has led to the freezing of all our accounts, local and foreign, the revoking of all our business licences and the arrest of my First son.

In view of this I want to acted very fast to withdraw this money from one of our finance houses before it will be closed down.My husband deposited the money in a finance firm for safe keeping .

No record is known about this fund by the government because there is no documentation showing that we have such funds.Further more, my elder son have been in detention in the last four days following the death of my late husband for charges of State organized murder and corrupt practices, he was just been released by the Supreme Court after the goverment brokered a deal with my family regarding his freedom , and he is still under interrogation about my late husband's assets and some vital documents.

Due to the current situation in the country and government attitude to my family,I cannot make use of this money within, thus I seek your help in transferring this funds out for investment than leaving the fund here and to invest the money to profit my family Bearing in mind that you may assist me.l have decided to part with 25% of the total sum.

I am seriously considering to settle down abroad in a friendly atmosphere like yours as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again if only you wish. I shall ask my son  Ousmane Conte to come over to your country to liaise with you.

If this proposal satisfies you. please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence and please include your personal telephone and fax numbers.

I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

Regards and Allah Bless you.

Mrs.Henriette Conte

Be on the lookout for black holes

(h\t Salon)
"That's it! They've had a collision"--Oliver Buchmueller from Imperial College in London
Remember the supercollider that was going to recreate the Big Bang and destroy the planet? They finally got it working. It's up and running now (the first attempt was a failure and they had to make changes to the equipment). So, you know, look out.

And if you're incensed by the idea of a supercollider, you might be interested to know that they were building one near Dallas in Waxahachie TX (details here).

It was a great example of "pork" although the folks in Dallas totally thought those billions in government money were a great investment in science. That's the funny thing about pork, when it's your pork, it's not "pork," it's an investment in infrastructure or education or culture.

That pork was strongly supported by such faux deficit hawks as Sen. Phil Gramm (R, TX, retired), Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R, TX) and the man who first sent the nation's deficit spinning out of control, a President Ronald Reagan (R, CA).

Welcome to the boomtown

(h\t Clark and Mayor Sam Adams via Twitter)

Between this and yesterday's protest, Portland might not sound like a safe place, but it is... more or less.

Sunday night, across many parts of SE and SW Portland, people heard a loud boom. And while no one knew what it was, the way folks came together using Twitter, Google Maps and other collaborative tools online, is interesting. The NY Times has a great article about the collaboration (here).

Click the image to embiggen a screen shot of the Google map, or see it here. My neighborhood isn't on this map--I'm too far north to have heard it.

Yesterday investigators found the source of the boom: a pipe bomb in a park on the river, where cliffs and low clouds combined to amplify and carry the noise a greater distance than it normally would. Details here.

Song of the Day: "Black and Blue"

Another track from Miike Snow, the Swedish trio who have been described as a-ha meets Animal Collective (in a good way).

Clueless 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sarah Palin is being teh smart by making fun of her critics on her Facebook page:
To the teams that desire making it this far next year: Gear up! In the battle, set your sights on next season’s targets! From the shot across the bow -- the first second’s tip-off -- your leaders will be in the enemy’s crosshairs, so you must execute strong defensive tactics. You won’t win only playing defense, so get on offense! The crossfire is intense, so penetrate through enemy territory by bombing through the press, and use your strong weapons – your Big Guns – to drive to the hole. Shoot with accuracy; aim high and remember it takes blood, sweat and tears to win.
You see, "some folks" thought that her use of gun imagery (both words and visuals) in an earlier post encouraging people to continue to fight to, um, deny infants medical coverage for "pre-existing conditions" and other despicable acts committed by insurance companies to maintain their massive profit were inappropriate in a climate of heightened tensions and threats of violence.

And you might expect a woman who gets so fucking insanely pissy every fucking time she thinks someone is saying something about her or her family (here, here, here) would be more sensitive about that.

But that would be retarded.

That would be as stupid as pretending your grandchild is your own kid.

That would be as brazenly opportunistic as someone who quits halfway through a job just to take advantage of huge money but pretends it's what's best for others.

I hope she doesn't shoot herself in the foot with those comments. That they don't backfire on her. That... no wait, I actually I do.

Also, she's a fucking idiot.

Lipstick on a pig

Sen. John McCain (R, AZ), a man who, if re-elected, is highly likely to die during his next term (actuarially-speaking) is upset (which makes sense, he's a cranky old man, and I will be there soon). He's upset with a lot of things, but lately he's upset with healthcare reform. So upset that he said this:
"You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig," Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Wednesday morning during the Senate's debate. 

Holy fuck?! John McCain tore into Sarah Palin?! Right? That's what "lipstick on a pig" means, right? Per McCain (here).

I wonder if he hates her because she's a lying idiot who thinks of herself as the greatest thing on earth and smarter than everyone else.

Cause that's a pretty good reason.

I am disappointing someone in Burkina Faso

Seriously, if you want to scam me, don't start with a subject line that's going to piss me off.



I need your cooperation to put claim over this funds, the amount involve is 13.350 Million Euro, I am the executive director of Islamic Development Bank; Burkina Faso Ouagadougou, Here is My residential address with my contact phone number.18 avenue de la charles Degaulle sect: 21. Box Postal: 01 bp 5256 Ouagadogou Burkina Faso (TEL:0022678257788) There is no doubt about your eligibility as the legal next of kin to our deceased customer with the following reasons: there is no next of kin attached on the funds, Dir.Tetsuya Lee is an engineer, From Japan based in Burkina faso for contrate, the funds was transfered in his bank account within 7 days before his death, The government didn't know if he has withdrawn the funds or not, Upon this i seek for your full cooperation to put claim over the funds immediately,

I don't want the bank to know my involvement, i will quide you and make sure that the fund will be transfered into your bank account, I seek for your cooperation to make it reality, due to the engineer is one of the executive directors (AACE INTERNATIONAL) i am inviting you for this business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of ( 55/45) After you received funds i will come over to your country for the share of the funds according to the percentage,i have arranged this transaction, I didn't know you in person, Therefore i will like to be reassured of the manner of person whom I am dealing with because (13.350 Million Euro) is not a little money,therefore I have to get certain necessary facts about you are as follows:
(1) your full name......................
(2)Your occupation .................
(3)Your marital status ..................
(4)Your full residential address................
(5)Your phone number ........................
(6)A copy of Your photo scanned and sent to me by mail,immediately i received those above informations from you,i will send you the text of application which you will fill and send to the bank for the claim.Act as adviced or you call me.Please these claims have to be completed within a week if only you will act as advice at the accurate time.My direct cell line:(00226)78257788

Monday, March 29, 2010

Here's how anarchists disrupted my commute home

It was like a convergence of themes for me on my commute home. Things you should know if you don't:
  • I love Portland for many of its quirks, including our love of protests; I have joked that folks keep signs in their vehicles (usually a Subaru Outback) just in case they pass one.
  • Portland's cops love to shoot and kill people. Okay, maybe not "love" but they do it with some regularity, and with little recourse. They have drawn guns on me when I had done nothing wrong (and that time, it was true). There's a list here, although I am pleased with how few there have been recently. Perhaps I'm too cynical (except that the officers made a point of telling me that I was more cooperative than most "black guys" after we were done, so maybe I'm just cynical enough).
  • And while I am sympathetic to the plight of the little guy, I am also "the man" in many ways. I get incredibly cranky when my life is disrupted, even in minor ways. (Seriously, fuck you Andrews McMeel Publishing for not replacing my defective page-a-day Dilbert calendar!)
Last Tuesday a Portland police office shot and killed a homeless man in circumstance that sound pretty justified to me. The man made threats to people in the park and had a knife, when the officer responded the man failed to put his knife down after repeated instructions. I don't have an issue with this situation. I did have an issue with the lack of information that came after the shooting--it happened around 3 p.m. and no official word was released until 11 a.m. the next day.

An earlier shooting this year was less clear-cut, and prompted a visit from Rev. Jesse Jackson to do whatever the hell it is he actually does. Agitate? Draw attention? Jackson returned to Portland today, although it wasn't clear what his trip was focused on since he met with a variety of groups to discuss healthcare and unions--he missed a vigil yesterday (Palm Sunday) held around town at locations  of various controversial shootings (details here); think of it as a polite protest.

This afternoon, at 4:00 p.m., we got an email from the building management for my office. (Click to embiggen, totally worth it.)
Around 4:45 I started to hear helicopters (these may have been television station news copters, these may have been black helicopters as part of Obama's fasci-social-Census cabal). I was chugging away on a report, so I didn't even look out the office windows.

Around 6:00 it started to rain pretty hard.

And at 7:15 I told my coworker that I wanted to catch the 7:30 train home. I watch the 8:00 p.m. Daily Show (it's the east coast feed) and I wanted to be home on the couch with the dogs by then. Is that too much to ask? I'd been at my desk since 9:00. Well, 9:08.

At 7:25 we were out the door, relatively quiet, nothing but the late wave of commuters. We decided that the rain washed away the protest. I made my way up to the train stop, prompt for my 7:30 train.

And then they came.
Sadly, that's the best of the pictures I took with my phone. It's a reminder that I need to carry my little flash video camera with me more often.

A lot of shit went down right next to the KGW studio, but they have surprisingly little at their website. This pic was from early in the protest.

So the "black bloc" anarchists (I guess it's a thing) showed up right in front of my train. And stopped. And then were surrounded by police. Right in front of my train.

Also, I was wearing black; way to both copy and inconvenience me.

My coworker and I watched about 5 minutes of it and when another swarm of police, including paddy wagons arrived (all blocking my train), I decided it might be time to look for a cab.

I actually made it home by 8. And that includes a stop to pick up milk. But I was out $11. Sigh.

Well, since you used 3 exclamation points, how can I decline


Hello ,

My name is Mrs. Mellisa Lewis, I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago. Am sorry to contact you in this manner but please bear in mind that i find your contact in international directories with World Health Organization.I will be going in for an operation later today.

I decided to WILL/DONATE the sum of $14,258,000.00 USD (Fourteen Million Two Hundred and Fifty Eight Thousand United States Dollars) to you for the good work of the Lord. Contact my lawyer with this email:

Name: Mr Jay Mchenry
Email: ( )
Tel: ( +233547015242 )

Contact him and inform him about the WILLED 14.258M in your name by quoting my personal reference number JJ/MMS/953/5015/GWRL/316US/UK. As soon as you contact him with this details quoted above, he should be able to recognize you and help in claiming this amount from my Bank. Be informed also that I have paid for the state tax on this money to be transferred to you.

Meanwhile you are advised to keep this mail and it contents confidential as i really want my wish accomplish at the end of the day. Please do pray to God for my recovery.

God Bless you.
Mrs. Mellisa Lewis

Song of the Day: "There Are Listed Buildings"

By Los Campesinos! (The exclamation point is part of the name.) They confuse my musical aesthetic--on the surface I find many of their songs to be yucky (a technical term), but after a while they took root. I can't explain why I think this song is any good, but I do. It took a few listenings though...

All rights reserved!

PO Box 1110

Your e-mail address has won a prize of £500,000.00GBP ONLY.
Contact Dr Steve Wilson for details and payment at.

Indicate your names,country and phone number. Payment details will be sent to you.
Winning Number: 9-6-1-6-0-9-8
Batch Number: 8056490902/188
Reference Number: UK/HW47509/2010

This is fully based on an electronic selection of winners using their e-mail addresses.Your name was attached to ticket number 575061725, serial number 6741137007.

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some multinational companies in United Kingdom and Australia to show gratitude to countries where they have their bases since 33 years of existence.

Hon.Sir James Bernard,Oversea Director.
Jeff Smith,coordinator.
Mrs Clara Johnson, Financial Director.

Copyright © 2010 UK National Lottery! All rights reserved!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Cancer of the lever (the worst kind of simple machine cancer there is)

This was clearly written by someone from Baltimore, you can't fake this kind of authenticity (which sounds like an insult to people from Baltimore, but isn't meant that way, and yet I won't reword that will I? No I won't.)...

Greetings to you

With Due Respect and Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground.My name is Mrs. Jessica Meyer. I was born in Baltimore, Maryland, I am married to Mr. Timothy Meyer director J.C Industries Cote d'Ivoire.We were married for 36 years without a child. He died after a Cadiac Arteries Operation.

And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke).

Before my husband died last year there is this sum $2.8 Million Dollars that he deposited in a bank here In Ivory Coast. Presently this money is still in the bank.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to any good God fearing brother or sister that will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein. I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my late. Husband to help less privileged people, orphanages, widows and propagating the word of God.

I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this fund, And I don’t want in away where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision to hand you over this Fund.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery.Write back as soon as possible any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose, hoping to read from you ASAP.

God bless you as you listening to the voice of reasoning,

Mrs. Jessica Meyer.

Happy Birthday Reba McEntire

She's not the first lady of country music, but she is probably in the top 5 (depending on what one uses as criteria for ranking: Loretta, Tammy, Dolly, Emmylou, yeah probably). She's been recording since 1976 and acting since 1989.

Let's take a quick minute to celebrate the sheer joy that is Tremors. It is a goddamn fun movie (88% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes)!

In 2001 she took over the role of Annie Oakley in Annie Get Your Gun on Broadway (Bernadette Peters originated the role for that revival, but Susan Lucci and Cheryl Ladd both had time in the role before Reba took it over--I love it when things sound like an episode of Love Boat) to real acclaim (she won a Drama Desk Award and a Theater World Award [neither of them is a Tony]).

Her show (Reba, duh) was the highest-rated show on The WB (seriously). I tried to watch it, but it was like According to Jim or My Wife and Kids... well, it wasn't that bad, but its laugh track was just a little too loud for me.

Musically, I'm not a huge fan. She's put out some stronger records, and some clearly more focused on selling to an audience that I'm not part of (trying to be diplomatic here), but with 25 albums there's bound to be something in there for everyone. She's only picked up 2 Grammys in that time, but she has a bunch of Academy of Country Music awards, and several Country Music Association Awards (and no, I cannot explain the difference--one of them is shaped like a cowboy hat, I know that much), and some American Music Awards to augment her mantle.

I was trying to pick a single song to represent her 30+ year recording career, and I flirted with "Fancy" (honey, you go be a whore, cause it'll get you out of poverty) and her cover of "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" (for some symmetry with Friday's post), but I decided to give props to her 1991 release For My Broken Heart. She recorded it following a plane crash that killed 8 members of her band (and the plane's crewmen), and it is her best selling album to date. And I think it's the one I actually own. Here's the title track:

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the Day: "Maneater"

The Bird and the Bee recorded an album almost entirely of Hall & Oates covers: Interpreting the Masters Volume 1 (there is an original song as well). This track features Shirley Manson singing the chorus.

And while I'm on the subject of Hall & Oates (0 on the EGOT scale), T-Bone Wolk, their long-time bass player passed away a few weeks ago. You might also know him as a prominent member of the SNL house band for several years (he and G. E. Smith got a lot of on-screen time during those 20 second bumps where you think the show is coming back from commercial and then it goes to another commercial right when C+C Music Factory is about to play!).  It's his bass work you hear on the original version of this song. I saw them with Gunther back in, let's say 1985 (+/- 18 months) and while they certainly weren't cool at the time, they put on a really solid show--clearly a band that had a been playing live for years, and knew what they were doing. Now they're cool, kinda.

Rest in peace dude.