Saturday, March 13, 2010

Song of the day: "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)"

Two guys from Supergrass have done a side project of covers, under the name The Hot Rats, including covers of songs by Pink Floyd, Elvis Costello, The Doors and Squeeze, along with this reworking of the Beastie Boys.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Kathy Griffin on Liza

More of Liza

From the brilliant Arrested Development, as the vertigo-plagued Lucille 2. She deserved a Guest Actress Emmy nomination, but alas. Of course, she HAS an Emmy, it's a Grammy she needs to complete her set.

A very terse job offer

SUBJECT: Job offer

Greeting,

Representative that will benefit you. Require your Name, Address and phone for more details.


Thanks
David Wallace


(BTW, David Wallace is also a name of a character on The Office)

Happy birthday with a Z

It's Liza's birthday. Not a lot of folks realize she was in a Scorcese movie. She was. Suck it hipsters. There will be intermittent posts through the day. She's too much for one sitting (as you might imagine).


[NOTE: I didn't say she was in a good Scorcese movie.]

A new car!



BMW MOTOR AWARDS
An Affiliate of BMW UK.
28 TANFIELD ROAD,
LONDON, UK.

We are pleased to inform you of the release, of the long awaited results of the BMW CAR INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM held on the 11TH March, 2010. You were entered as dependent clients with: Ticket Number: 5647600545188 and Secret pin code B7tfvz2010.

You have been approved for a payment of Ј450,000.00 (four hundred and fifty thousand Great British Pounds) in cash credited to file Reference Number: 040SA06-03 And a brand new BMW 5 Series Car. You are to contact our-accredited agent for your claim now.

Mr. Dunance Clems
Email: dunanceclem2010@9.cn

You are also advised to provide him with the under listed information:

1.Name in full.
2.Address in full.
3.Nationality & Present Country.
4.Age.
5.Phone /Fax /Sex.
6.Email address.

Once again congratulations.
Program Co-ordinator

Song of the day: "Electrocution"

Loved the last Nada Surf album, so naturally I'm looking forward to anything new from them. Coming soon is If I Had A Hi-Fi, and album of covers including songs by Kate Bush, The Go-Betweens and Dwight Twilly. I don't know Bill Fox, who originated this song, but apparently he's part of a Cleveland music scene that inspired Guided by Voices. It's the circle of life. Well, it's "a" circle of life, maybe not the...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Survival seeds

Survival Seed Bank
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorSkate Expectations

Power of attorney!



A power of attorney was forwarded to my office this morning by two gentle men, one of them is a philippines national and he is ENGR. GILBERT M. USON by name while the other person is Mr. JACK MORGAN by name a CANADIAN national.below is the new account they have submitted: BANK.-BPI BANK QUEZON AVE. DELTA BRANCH QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES ACCOUNT NO. 2984-0008-66 SWIFT CODE. BOPIPHMM. Regard MR Mark Peter +234-8038473875.

And now Paraguay!



Dear Friend,

Please accept my apology for not contacting you earlier before now due to my tight schedules. I am very happy to inform you about my success in getting that money under the cooperation of a new partner from Paraguay; Presently I'm in London with the partners for some new projects with the money.

Contact my Priest in Lagos state, federal Republic of Nigeria, because I have left the instruction with him on your behalf and instructed him where to send the $8,000,000.00. without any further delay for your compensation.

Remember that the $8,000,000.00. Is in draft, not cash, so you need to send to him you’re full Information where the draft/check will be posted/delivered. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much so feel free to get in touched with him.

As at the time I was leaving Nigeria he was the only one I could trust with that kind of money, he is a very simple and understanding person. His name is Rev Fr Jim lawson Email(refrjimlawson@luxmail.eu)NOTE:BELLOW IS THE REQUIRED INFORMATIONS YOU WILL SEND TO MY PRIEST:-
(1) YOUR FULL NAMES
(2) YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS
(3) YOUR DIRECT CELPHONE NUMBER
(4) YOUR COUNTRY ADDRESS

So feel free to get in touch with him and discuss with him how the amount will reach you. Please do let me know immediately you contact him to receive it, so that we can share the joy after all the suffering at that time.

As at the moment, I am very busy here because of the projects which I and the new partner have at hand. Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the priest on your behalf to receive that money, so you get in touch with him and he will send the amount to you without any delay.

Here is his email address again (refrjimlawson@luxmail.eu)

Regards
Karlyn Jones,

Happy birthday Richard

It's an ill-considered mish-mash of stuff, but hopefully nothing too insulting. First, a little marching band.


Second, a little Cheyenne Jackson.


A little Reese Rideout.


A showtune.


You know what, that wasn't a very showy showtune. I need something bigger.


No, that's not it. Let's go for something really, really gay. And regional!


Okay, that'll have to do. Happy birthday buddy!

Song of the day: "Walls"

New music from Shout Out Louds off Work. It took me a while to learn who this was, I always thought it was The Kooks or someone similar. But it's not, it's Shout Out Louds.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Old Jews telling jokes

Coming soon: Camera Obscura

They'll be in Portland April 25th at Berbati's Pan. See you there?


They're playing Denton TX in a few weeks, so if you're a random UNT student who happens upon this, go. Seriously, fucking go. They're great and how often do you get to see bands like this without driving down to Dallas? Go. Shit.

Happy birthday Rick Rubin

I liken his traditional style to Hemingway's writing--very economical, very direct, yet in that simplicity, very evocative. Except, he's not always. He's taken to producing with more elaborate arrangements lately (Dixie Chicks, Neil Diamond) but he's best known for a series of collaborations with Johnny Cash that proved to be Cash's swan song, the American Recordings series.

Based on my count, he's got 7 Grammys, including Producer of the Year (Non-Classical) twice, and work as producer on Grammy-winning albums from The Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash and Red Hot Chili Peppers. He's been called the most influential producer of the last 20 years, and while I'm not sure I agree completely (Jay-Z and Timbaland both come to mind), I'll say he's got to be among the most influential of the last 30--specifically because he's worked with artists that were outside the mainstream before they worked with him.

Here's a smattering of my favorites:
LL Cool J "Goin' Back to Cali"

The Bangles "Hazy Shade of Winter"

Red Hot Chili Peppers "By the Way"

Tom Petty "Wildflowers"

Sheryl Crow "Anything but Down"

The Machine Rages On Rage Against the Machine "Renegades of Funk"

Audioslave "Be Yourself" (I can't help but think this is making Becky think "pussy")

Weezer "We Are All On Drugs"

Dixie Chicks "Not Ready to Make Nice"

The Avett Brothers "I + Love + You"

And the track that I think best epitomizes his ability to blend rock and hip hop, Jay-Z "99 Problems"


You'll note that I stopped at 1 track per artist, even if Rubin produced multiple albums, and I limited myself to albums he produced, and not albums he mixed, executive produced, etc. And I didn't include Johnny Cash. And I could go on.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on.

Song of the day: "Kill Me Carolyne"

Finally. I've wanted to feature this song for a few weeks now, and this is the first I've found an embeddable clip. The music is old school garage rock--ignore the singer's voice and tell me this isn't 1985-era Replacements. Anyway, The Whigs are from Athens GA, and you can download this track for free (here).

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

R.I.P. Mark Linkous

"Everything that's made is made to decay"--Mark Linkous

I'm reading now that dude from Sparklehorse killed himself this past weekend, and in reading about him (there are a few Sparklehorse songs that I fucking love, but I can't consider myself a fan since I only have a few tracks ripped to my collection) I learned that he was in The Dancing Hoods. I have 3 cassettes in my car (my VW has a cassette player along with the CD player, and it's a 2003), and one of them is The Dancing Hoods 12 Jealous Roses. I had no idea dude was in both bands.

Here's a track from each band.



Rest in peace dude.

Mr. Jeff Collins



ATTN, MY GOOD FRIEND,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CASH CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR FUND WORTH OF US$1.5MILLION DOLLARS (ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS THREE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS PER DAY.

SO IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND IN THIS WAY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW BY CONTACTING ECO BANK ATM PAYMENT CENTRE. HOWEVER, KINDLY CONTACT THE BELOW PERSON WHO IS IN POSITION TO RELEASE YOUR ATM ELECTRONIC VISA CASH CARD TO YOU.

REV MAXWELL FRED DIRECTOR,
ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
ECO BANK PLC BENIN REPUBLIC .
EMAIL: ecobankprivatebox2@gmail.com
PHONE. +229-970-66049

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT YOUR PAYMENT AND YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT VIA ATM VISA CASH CARD.

NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-00127) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

BEST REGARDS,
MR JEFF COLLINS

Oh snap, CC Bloom is teh angry

(h\t Towleroad)


PS--I wouldn't get sooo very upset at "perpetrating a fraud" on the people honey. Glass houses.

PPS--she said "outed." Heh.

Today in hatred

After reading that the Supreme Court will take up a case involving the (you know what, I won't even insult Baptists by calling this organization by their taken name, since 2 of those 3 don't actually apply--I'll just call them the WBC, which stands for hate the way KKK does) WBC, I decided to do a pretty pie chart. The head of the crazy, Fred Phelps, is obsessed with my penis. He is. He wants to know what it does, and where it goes, and who it talks to. And he's angry about it, but in this weirdly obsessive way.

And let me just say that protesting soldiers' funerals because "God hates fags" is like me protesting your wedding because your caterer is using the wrong lettuce. It's really fucked up.

Call me now

Here's a wordle of the 419 scam email below (click to embiggen).

Here's the full letter:

Zakari Maimalari Street
Cadastral Zone AO,
Central Business District, Abuja.

Attention Beneficiary,

The British High Commission in Nigeria, Benin Republic, Ghana and Burkina faso, South Africa, Togo, Senegal In collaboration with UK(London) Anti-Crime Squad received a report of scam against you and other British/US citizens and Malaysia, Etc. whom the country of Nigeria/Benin, Burkina faso, Ghana And UK (London) Anti-Crime Squad have recompensed you due to meeting held with Four countries Government and the world high commissions against fraud activities by the Four country Citizens. Your name was among those scammed as listed by the Nigeria Financial Intelligent Unit (NFIU).

A compensation fund of Five Million United State Dollar's has been issued out for Wire Transfer to all the affected victims and has been already in distribution to all the bearers. payment was among those that was reported as the people that did not recieved their fund,as at last Friday and we wish to advise you to see to the instructions of the Committee to make sure that your fund is been transferred to your account immediately.

According to the number of applicants at hand,184 Beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States,we still have more 37 left to be paid the compensations of ($5,000,000.00 USD) Five Million United State Dollar's each. Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations,you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason whatsoever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it secret till they are all apprehended.Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.

We advise that you do the needful to make sure that your fund is transferred to your account on or before Friday. You are assured of the safety of your fund, and availability and be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you.get back to me immediately to check if the transfer date suits you.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens and other europ countrie's worldwide. All I want you to do is to contact me via email, for their requirements to proceed regarding the Transfer of your fund, So your files would be updated after which i will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $275.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for me to be able to update your file for transfer, after you make the payment then your file will be updated and your fund will be transferred into your Bank Account which you will provide for us for the transfer of your fund.

You are advised to send also your direct mobile or telephone number for easier communication.You are to contact me Dr Michael Okechukwu, Consular/Diplomat BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION ABUJA,with the information below,for the release of your fund.

Contact Person : Dr Michael Okechukwu
Zakari Maimalari Street
Cadastral Zone AO,
Central Business District, Abuja.
Telephone: +234-807-508-1267
Email : michaelokechukwu1@yahoo.cn


Re-Confirm your details.

1. SURNAME
2. OTHER NAMES
3. PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS
4. ADDRESS
5. AMOUNT TO BE CLAIMED.

You are hereby, requested to furnish me with your full bank details viz, name and address of your bank, account name and number, telephone, fax and swift code of the bank for the immediate release of your funds by Key Tested Telex (KTT) wire transfer without further delay.

You are to contact directly the office of the Consular at: michaelokechukwu1@yahoo.cn, For an immediate action to be takling regarding the transfer of your fund.

Yours in Service,

Dr Michael Okechukwu
The Consular/Diplomat

BRITISH HIGH COMMISSIONS ABUJA.


Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possesion of your FUND, you are hereby adviced only to be in contact with Dr Michael Okechukwu, of the REMMITANCE DEPARTMENT CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your FUNDS PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

Happy birthday Raul Julia

He passed away 16 years ago, but left some great work behind him. I always thought his was the true performance in Kiss of the Spider Woman (the first independent film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars), but for an early morning blog post, nothing beats Addams Family Values.


Happy birthday dude!

Strange that they would use that currency

I mean, County Cork is at the southern end of Ireland, while British pounds are in use in Northern Ireland at the (get this) northern end of Ireland. But still, I'm sure this is legitimate, which is why I have converted the opening paragraphs into this cartoon featuring a creepy-as-fuck clown (full letter below).


Dear Partner,

I wish to intimate you with a request that would be of immense Benefit to both of us. Being an executor of WILL and Administration of Estate, it is possible that we may be tempted to make fortune out of our client's situation when we cannot help it, or left with no better option.

I am Real Estate | Probate Jerry Boggan of Joyce House, Barrack Square, Ballincollig, County Cork, Ireland. The issue I am presenting to you is a case of my client Mr.Neil Slater (M) who WILLED a fortune to his next-of-kin. It was most unfortunate that he and his next-of-kin Mrs. Helen Slater (F) died on the same day in the One-Two-Go Orient-Thai Airlines flight OG269 Phuket Airport plane crash of Monday,17th September 2007 from Bangkok to Phuket, a Thai island resort. For more information see full Passenger's Manifest: http://74.125.113.132/search?q=cache:SMYfrHD0WrAJ:www.isaanhotels.com

I am now faced with the Task of who to pass the fortune to. The Irish probate and Inheritance Laws specify that at the expiration of 4 (four) years the money will revert to the ownership of the Irish Government, if nobody applies as the Next of kin to Claim the fund. I don't belong to that school of thought which proposes that the fortune of unlucky people be given to the Government. My client made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit, valued at (7,500,000.00) Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds Sterling for twelve (12) calendar months with Anglo Irish Bank,Anglo Irish Bank House, 11 Anglesea Street, Cork. Ireland.

Upon maturity, the bank sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. As part of my legal responsibilities, I officially informed Anglo Irish Bank on the sudden death of my client and to present the Next of Kin in accordance with the Irish Probate and Inheritance laws.

The sum of 7,500,000.00 Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds Sterling is in the Bank right now and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. Consequently, I shall present you to act as the next of kin to my Late Client (Mr. Neil Slater) The share would be 50% for you and 50% for me.

All I have to do is to ammend the Last will/Testament of my late client to make you the beneficiary (next of Kin) to the claim of the 7,500,000.00 legally.I need not emphasize to you that the sensitivity of this issue need not be toyed with by neglecting its confidentiality.

Until I am sure of your consent, full co-operation and genuine willingness to assist me for our mutual benefit, I would prefer that we maintain correspondence by email. Upon acceptance, I shall send to you a copy of the probate and Inheritance return information form and the detailed Information on how this business would be successfully transacted.

At this point I want to assure you that your true consent, full co-operation and confidentiality are all that are required for us to take full advantage of this great opportunity. Do send your full names,address,private telephone & fax numbers for easy communication.

Please note that you can also reach me at : bogganjerry12@yahoo.com I look forward to hear from you soon.

Yours truly,
Probate Jerry Boggan.

Song of the day: "Stylo"

New music from Gorillaz, featuring Mos Def and Bobby Womack; Plastic Beach is out now, or if not now, very very soon.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Their enrollment should be really small

"Parents living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith and morals unfortunately choose by their actions to disqualify their children from enrollment."--A statement from the Archdiocese of Denver, justifying the banning a student from its preschool for having Lesbian parents

So this means children whose parents are divorced, unmarried and/or remarried, use birth control (including vasectomies), eat meat on Friday, do not keep the sabbath holy, disrespect their parents, lie, ... we've got a long list. Pretty much they don't abide much, except child molestation. Then it's no problem.

So congratulations to the little kid, for avoiding a few years of religious mumbo jumbo (there's a lot of merit in teachings of Christ but few religions actually do that)--but Catholicism is just like high functioning autism (stolen brazenly from Eugene Mirman, here) or OCD (now kneel, now touch your forehead, now touch the middle of your sternum, now touch your left shoulder, now touch your right shoulder, now stand up...).

I'm sure if you compare the Taliban and the Catholic Church you'll find they have a lot in common.

Happy birthday Carole Bayer Sager

I few years ago I decided I would make a mix tape CD filled with Oscar nominated songs that no one knows. Every year there's at least one: this year's French song, "Raise it Up" from August Rush, "In the Deep" from Crash, "Believe" from The Polar Express, "Burn it Blue" from Frida, "Until..." from Kate & Leopold... I think I've made my point.

Anyway, today we celebrate Bayer Sager, a six-time Oscar nominee (she did win once). Some of the songs are more memorable than others, but as a songwriter, the gal has some hits. Are they great songs? Decidedly not. She tends to stay with mid-tempo, overly schmaltzy crap (I tried to come up with a less derisive term, but I'm sticking with crap). Among her non-Oscar nominated songs is "Don't Cry Out Loud" ("baby cried the day the circus came to town..."); the Grammy-winning "That's What Friends Are For"; "Heart Light" (yes, bitches, the Neil Diamond song about e.t.); and "A Groovy Kind of Love." See, crap.

Which will really make me seem ungrateful. You see, Ms. Bayer Sager let me sit in her reserved seats when I saw The Boy From Oz (the Broadway musical about Peter Allen, with whom she was a frequent collaborator--since many of her songs were in the musical, she had house seats, and she gave them up to one Dr. Botox, and I got to ride along on those Gucci coat-tails). Sorry CBS, but I gotta be honest here.

Still, she gets the birthday of the day. So let's celebrate her 6 Oscar nominations in decreasing order of obscurity.

First up, from 1998's The Quest for Camelot, nomination shared with David Foster, Tony Renis and Alerto Testa, it's "The Prayer."


From the 1994 classic (cough) Beethoven's Second comes this duet between James Ingram and Dolly Parton. When I railed about how The Blindside needed some crappy sappy original song, this is exactly the shit I was talking about. CBS shared this nominated with James Ingram and Cliff Magness.


Her contribution to 1995's Junior earned her a nomination for "Look What Love Has Done." As with all her writing, she has collaborators. Here they are James Newton Howard, James Ingram, and Patty Smyth. Patty Smyth is an Oscar nominee. Suck on that one.


Now we jump back to 1978, the pinnacle of America's malaise (thanks a lot Jimmy Carter), and our hearts melted with dreaminess of a young Robby Benson in Ice Castles (aka the blind figure skater movie). This song, along with The Muppet Movie's "Rainbow Connection" both lost. To the song from Norma Rae. Also, Norma Rae had a song. I think it's the epitome of her oeuvre, but it's also a pretty good song (it's the best of her crap, if you will). And I will give you a dollar if you can sing the song from Norma Rae.


The theme from The Spy Who Loved Me, "Nobody Does It Better," was the first Bond main title song that wasn't the title of the movie (it's happened a few time since then, including Octopussy, which means that those songwriters were a bunch of cowards). Her co-writer here is the same as above, Marvin Hamlisch.


I think Christopher Cross made some kind of deal with the devil back in 1980. The man won Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Album of the Year and Best New Artist for his debut album (a feat relative unheard of--Norah Jones duplicated it decades later), and the next year he shared the Oscar for original song for "Arthur's Theme" from Arthur. He shares the Oscar with Burt Bacharach, Peter Allen, and Carole Bayer Sager (current Academy rules limit songs to three writer credits), but he gets his own statue. They all do.


So happy birthday Carole Bayer Sager. Rock on in the most overly-emotional, mid-tempo sense.

Oh, a post script on Oscar

In addition to Katherine Bigelow becoming the first "girl" to win the Best Director Oscar, Geoffrey Fletcher became the first African American to win an Oscar in one of the Screenplay categories.

I cringed when the orchestra played "I Am Woman" when Bigelow concluded her speech, but now I'm wishing they'd played the theme from The Jeffersons for Fletcher. That would have been cool.

I reviewed a list of black Oscar nominees/winners at Wikipedia (here) and learned that Irene Cara is the first black female to win an Oscar in a non-acting category, and that Carly Simon is also black (apparently her mother has a mixed race background, so "black-ish" I guess).

Anyway, congratulations to Bigelow and to Fletcher!

Short and sweet

The management of Our bank has agreed to pay you the accrued interest of US $4.7 Million being interest accrued from initial deposit made sometime ago and withdrawn by The Bank Of Ghana. You are advised to send your names,address,tel numbers,bank account and your id for immediate transfer within 24 hours. Yours truly, DR GREGORY DAVID GM, Ghana Commercial Bank.

I have converted this into a short film for Oscar consideration:

Notes on The Oscars

Yawn.

Seriously, yawn.

That has to be the worst produced Oscars I think I've ever seen. Or didn't see, as the case was--I had it on, I listened to the whole thing, but seldom did I actually turn my attention to the TV. (But I did get some laundry done.)

Going into last night I felt like The Hurt Locker was going to win Best Picture, Best Director, Best Editing and one of the sound awards. I was pleasantly surprised that it won Original Screenplay.

I was also pleasantly surprised to see Precious win the Adapted Screenplay award.

For the life of me, I can't figure out how Avatar picked up awards for Cinematography and Art Direction since those things all seemed to be done "by computer" but perhaps they're awarding the thought required to make that happen.

But my biggest confusion came as a result of some of the presenters. I mean, okay, I'm not sure why Charlize "being beautiful has hurt my career" Theron came to introduce the clips for Precious (except, perhaps, to underscore her point--she was probably not even considered for the role of Precious or her mother precisely because she IS so beautiful), but at least she's an Oscar winner.

Demi Moore? Really? I guess if they were doing all the brat pack folks for the John Hughes thing, sure, but also, the John Hughes thing? Was he the biggest film maker that died in the last year? I think his death is sad and all, and maybe a great 2-hour CBS special, but wow, a segment with Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy and, wait, Judd Nelson? At the Oscars. And regardless what I've said about her music (or the music that is released as hers), Miley Cyrus is NOT an appropriate Oscar presenter. But kudos to Demi Moore's agent for getting her out there last night.

And as much as I like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, they did not work. Nor did NPH's number.

Here's my final word on last night's Oscar: I wished they'd had Beyonce.

[UPDATE: I forgot to add the 2 speeches that I liked--Sandy Powell, who won her third Oscar for Costume Design for Young Victoria made a case for costume designers on non-period-piece movies or musicals, saying they work just as hard but to no acclaim; and Mo'Nique for thanking the Academy for proving it was about the performance and not the politics.]

Song of the day: "Country Roads"

Ryan Bingham, an Oscar winner last night for the song from Crazy Heart, with his band The Dead Horses.

I have been warned

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
FBI-Washington Field Office
601 4th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20535
Email: robertmueller_fbi@w.cn

ATTENTION: Fund Beneficiary,

OFFICIAL WARNING FROM THE FBI FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT.:
It has been discovered that your inheritance/winning/check compensation FUND was about being transferred to an unknown account under your name. This attempt was perpetrated by someone who claims to be working for you, and that you have given him due authority to have the FUND moved to the new account.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I.) waded in after being alerted by the supposed bank. We investigated and found that there is a possible money laundering activity in play. The FUND (US$12,000,000.00) was found to be deposited in a top bank in America in your name pending your consent to have it transferred to the new account. It was further revealed that initial FUND transfer originated from Nigeria to England and now here in a Bank in USA. These transfers did not follow due process in line with the international FUND transfer rules and regulation.

We advice you to contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with a Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) document within 3 days from the Country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequent prosecution. We shall release the funds to you immediately we receive this legal document and make sure that you get your payment without any further delay.

Be informed that FAILURE to have this cleared out or If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds. We will not hesitate to visit the full weight of the law upon you if you do not clear this fund.

Finally, you are expected to have the CLEARANCE DOCUMENT obtain from where the FUND originated from to have you and your fund cleared. Only then shall we release your FUND as clean money devoid of any illegality, and you will be free of any involvement. To this end, you are to contact Mr. Spencer Lulu of the Anti Graft Department of Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (E.F.C.C.) Nigeria and have the DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL of TRANSFER (DIST) CLEARANCE DOCUMENT obtained. Contact us now for further clarification.

Note that you have 72hours to obtain this crucial Documentation. This has to be cleared! You are warned!
Faithfully Yours
Robert Mueller III
FBI Director
601 4th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20535

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Flashback song: "I'll Be Your Shelter"

It's Taylor Dayne's birthday, so why not? "na na na, na na na"

Today's question

How is it possible for women to serve in the military when the bible is clear:
A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.--1 Timothy 2:11-12

After all, Leviticus is the primary objection for keeping gays out of the military (notwithstanding the fact that Leviticus also considers mixing fabrics an abomination, ergo damning every member of the military who wears their dress uniform).

So here, clearly, is a reason for women to stay out of the military, at least in officer roles. Unless "lady general" is lower than "private" (you know, if it applies to a man, there's no reason to modify the noun--like in NCAA sports).

Song of the day: "All My Days"

This was more deserving of an Oscar nomination than either of the Randy Newman songs. It was used in Away We Go, and has a very Nick Drake feel to it. In fact, I only remembered it yesterday because it's being used in a Nissan ad, and I thought to myself "hey, they're using his music too" (because Drake's "Pink Moon" was used really effectively in a VW ad about 8 years ago).

I included this in my notes on Away We Go last year, but feel like it's worth its own post here.

Wait, I won AND won the consolation prize?

That almost doesn't seem fair.
Dear lucky winner,

This is to inform you that your email has won a consolation prize of the Microsoft Corporation EMAIL DRAW Today. Your email has won you £1,000.000.00 (One Million Great british Pounds) To claim your prize, please contact your fiduciary agent Barr. Arthur James Esq with your Batch #:409978E and Reference No:FL/668530092 and contact him via email immediately within 24hrs.with the information below.

Barr Arthur James Esq
Email:barrarthurjamesesquk_micro@live.hk
Tel; +44-703-597-7317
Fax: +44-7006-062-478

You are to send the below required details;

1.Full Name:..............
2.Address:................
3..Occupation :..............`
4.Age:..............
5.Sex:.................
6.Tel:..............

Sincerely,
Mrs Porchia D Hanson
Head Customercare Service
Microsoft Promotion

And here I was hoping for PowerBall

MICROSOFT INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS:
61-70 Southampton Row, Bloomsbury,
LONDON, United Kingdom, WC1B 4AR.


We are officially announcing to you the result of Microsoft E-Mail Award Promotion held on the 12th of February 2010 as part of our International new year promotion award. Your email was attached to reference number Ref: MSW-L/200-26937 with draw number Batch: 7056490902/188 wininng number Winning No: GB8701/LPRC which consequently won you in the 2nd category prize, your email address was extracted from our electronic email extraction system which randomly selected Fifthteen (15) Lucky Winners of which your email address was among one of the lucky winner. You have
therefore been approved for a payout of a total sum £5.500,000 GBP

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

We also advise that you keep your winning information very confidential as our security policy demands to avoid double claims/impersonation and unwarranted abuse of this program by some individuals. The selection process was carried our through our computerized Email Selection System (ESS) which selects email from a database of over 600,000 email address was drawn from all over the continents of the World. This promotions being the first of its kind will now take place annually and we hope you will also take part in our next year One Million Pounds Sterling International
Promo Game. To file your claim, you are to contact our Customer Service Unit authorized to conduct the necessary Verification to enable you receive your Cash Prize.(You will receive more email upon acknowledgment of this email).

Customer Service Unit
CONTRACTED AGENCY: EDDIE GOODMAN & ASSOCIATES

CONTACT AGENT

Mr. Anderson Dave.
+44 701 117 2399
Email: andersondaveclaims3@live.com
20 Queens land Road, London
SW2 3JB ENGLAND. U.K

---------------------------
You are to call your claims agent assigned for your claims, or send an email to them, you are to provide to your agents the below under listed information as soon as possible:

1. NAME IN FULL:
2. ADDRESS (IN FULL):
3. NATIONALITY:
4. AGE:
5. SEX
6. OCCUPATION (POSITION HELD):
7. HOME PHONE & MOBILE NUMBER:
8. EVER WON AN ONLINE PROMO?:
9. MARITAL STATUS:


This program is promoted and sponsored by Microsoft, Emirates Airline and the Shell Group and we intend to use this medium to help individuals generate fortunes, which would encourage them to expand their business frontiers thereby creating more opportunities and assisting with humanitarian Concerns within their immediate environment. All winning must be claimed not later than one Week of Acknowledgment. After this date all unclaimed funds will be returned to VW Motors Treasury as Unclaimed.


Yours in service,
Patricia lawrence.
Email patricialawprogma@hotmail.com
(Programs & Events).
Material Copyright ©2010 The VW Co. Ltd.