Saturday, February 6, 2010

Another Saturday night at Club Couch

I've known Melanie for a decade now. During that time, I've probably "gone out" in a traditional sense, maybe 12 times. Eons ago, I would go out to see bands, but those days are really rare. So years ago when she asked me if I was going out one night, I replied that yes, I was going out to Club Couch. Code for staying in and hanging with the dogs.

Which is what's up tonight. If I can get a spot on the couch. Gracie likes to stretch out.

Flashback song: "In Quintessence"

Squeeze, from 1981's Eastside Story (I picked it up from the library this afternoon)... what a fantastic pop song. Glenn Tilbrook's voice has long been one of my favorites.

If you aren't watching Archer on FX, what is your problem?

Loving it!

Puppy friends

More fun with photo editing software. This is Barry (sniff) with Gryffie (or Archie, I am not actually sure), softened, sketchified, and black & whited. And I did it on my iPhone. Take that actually artistic ability.

Here's the delightful Midge. She would like food:

And finally a shot of Rebel at the coast:

Happy birthday Robert Townsend

A pivotal moment in black cinema (no, seriously)--Townsend's Hollywood Shuffle (1987) was a fantastic and funny (if occasionally random) movie about the plight of blacks in the movie industry. It precedes I'm Gonna Git You Sucka by an year, and some of the creators overlap, but this back to back punch of parodies of Blaxploitation movies, and their relative success (Shuffle made back more than 50 times what it cost to make) launch an era of post-Blaxploitation independent black cinema. So happy Black History Month, and happy birthday dude!

Sad that he even has to say this

Glenn Greenwald, in a post titled "The Lynch Mob Mentality" (here) makes a really basic point.

The fact that the Government labels Person X a "Terrorist" is not proof that Person X is, in fact, a Terrorist.

If that makes you say "hey, no duh" then good for you. Have you written your Congresspeeps about closing Guantanamo Bay and giving the hundreds of detainees some trials? Because we the people are responsible for the sad fucking state of American politics, and we the people need to do something about it.

Go read the post. His use of the Salem Witch Trials as an example is pretty good.

Oh snap!

So I heard that Tom Tancredo, at the Tea Party Party, said Obama was elected by people who couldn't even spell the word "vote" and my "ohnohedidn't" kicked in. And when I did a quick search on "misspelled tea party signs" it turns out Jimmy Kimmel beat me to it. Enjoy his review here:

But Jimmy left out:

Song of the day: "Fearless Love"

I remarked about the seeming absence of Melissa Etheridge from the music scene the other night when the Grammys were on. The Rock Vocal category hasn't had enough songs from Females (as they are known in Grammy parlance) to sustain its own category in years, so for the last several years its been Rock Vocal Solo Performance. So she, Bonnie Raitt, Susan Tedeschi, Alanis Morissette, Fiona Apple, Lucinda Williams, Pink, Sheryl Crow, Pat Benetar, Joan Jett, Tina Turner, Stevie Nicks, Polly Jean Harvey, Cat Power, Annie Lennox, and Bjork all need to get their acts together and release an eligible song in the same Grammy period so they can get a category back. Or just make a better record than they boys and win the Solo category (which hasn't had a girl nominee in a few years).

Anyway, as far as I know this is Ethridge's follow-up to her Oscar (she won for the song "I Need To Wake Up," the original song she wrote and performed for An Inconvenient Truth). (Oh, it's actually not, this is just the first thing I've heard on the radio I guess--I wonder if she changed record labels and the new one is excited to have her and showing her the love that a 16-year label relationship rarely has.) I liked the rhythm that's going on here (I mean, I still do), but after about 5 minutes it's clear to me that this track was either produced by whoever produced Kings of Leon, or was produced BY Kings of Leon, or was produced by someone going for a Kings of Leon sound (is that a groan I hear coming from Vancouver, Washington?). Still, good track.

I am a little jealous

Leann of the Crazy Travelers Blog (here) passed this along. I haven't had a transaction consummated in months. Certainly not a legitimate one. Hopefully she'll let us know how Wong measured up (groan, yes, sorry).

Hello ,I presently work in a bank in Hongkong and want to consumate a legitimate transaction of USD38,591,595:00.Email for final update.
Wong Chin

Friday, February 5, 2010

Her first mistake was believing she could trust me

SUBJECT: I believed I could trust you?

My Dear Friend,

Let me first of all inform you, I got your email address from a mail Directory and decided to mail you for a permission to go ahead. I am Mrs. Susan Walker from Lithuania, married to Mr. Harry Walker who worked with TEXACO PETROLIFERA Company in Spain before he died in a ghastly motor accident on his way to a Board meeting. My Husband and me were married but without any children. Since his death I decided not to re-marry and presently I am 69 Years old. When my late husband was Alive he deposited the sum of $16.5M. (Sixteen Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) with Bancaja Bank.

Presently this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to receive the money or rather Issue a letter of authority to somebody to receive it on my behalf. I am presently in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment of fibroids uterine tumors. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live so I think the best thing to do is to use the money for charity purposes.

I want a person who is trustworthy that I will make the beneficiary of my late Husband's Fund deposited with the bank so that the person can get the money and utilize 60% of this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around the world. And you will take 40% for your assistance and support in this project

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact details of the Bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of this fund. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here in and Keep this contact confidential till such a time this funds get to your Custody.

This is to ensure that nothing jeopardizes my last wish on Earth.
I await your urgent reply. May almighty God bless you and your family.

Mrs. Susan Walker

Happy birthday Jennifer Jason Leigh

Here she is in Georgia, with the fantastic Mare Winningham (showing her beautiful voice). The movie is difficult to watch, very raw. Winningham picked up an Oscar nomination, but Leigh has been long, almost criminally, passed over. She's a pretty fearless actress.

Here she is channeling Rosalind Russell from His Girl Friday and a little Katherine Hepburn, in The Hudsucker Proxy.

She's fantastic in Miami Blues with an adorable Alec Baldwin. God they look so young. That was 20 years ago. But I'm the same age as when I saw it right? Sigh...

I loved her in Alan Rudolph's wonderfully stylish Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle, a movie filled with a who's who of pop culture from Matthew Broderick and Gwyneth Paltrow to Wallace Shawn, Jennifer Beals and Jon Favreau.

I think Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Single White Female are probably her signature roles, but I'm gonna leave you with a scene from Dolores Claiborne, an all-time favorite movie.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Where in the world is Mark Glyzewski

Mark Glyzewski is a TV news reporter for my local Fox affiliate, KPTV. I watch them in the morning, after years of watching Today, because I could no longer take a risk of seeing Ann Coulter on TV. She adds no value to humanity, so I will take "Joe on the go" over that shit any day.

Mark's job is to be someplace, at like 4:00 a.m., to talk about something that happened there the day before. Or maybe will happen there like 8 hours later.

Today he's at an apartment I used to live at, like 10 years ago, to talk about a murder that happened there a couple days ago. He typically talks for 2 minutes then cuts to prerecorded interviews with people who live near the scene for their reaction. Usually something makes them think, or worries them that something happened so close. Today a woman who lives in the apartments (which have 5 different buildings and hundreds of apartments) was surprised she didn't hear anything... and also thought there were lots of creepy people at the apartments. Congratulations to the Yards at Union Station apartments, you've found your new spokesperson.

Anyway, I can't decide if Mark has the best job in the world, or the worst. The on-location aspect generally adds absolutely nothing to the news, and staying there for 6 hours has got to be mind-numbingly boring. He could shoot the report and go home to sleep and no one would know the difference. Or he could sit in the control room they some times cut away to. Or just let the anchors read the story. Seriously.

So Mark, when you read this, let me know in comments. Love or hate your job?

Insomnia notes

So work is kicking my ass this week and it's messed up my sleep schedule. I get home from work and am lucky if I can stay awake until 9:00 (although as I type this I wonder what's so lucky about that). Then I wake up randomly around 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning. This morning I couldn't fall back asleep so I gave up since I have an early call; I'll head in to the office ultra early with the hopes of leaving early as well (good luck) or at least not working this weekend.

Anyway, I'm checking email and crap with the early local news on and this is the description of a robbery suspect:
  • white woman
  • 6' to 6'2", about 340 pounds
  • black coat
  • white shirt
  • pink hat
  • white shoes
  • dark colored, two toned van
So some random thoughts on this description:
  1. 6' to 6'2"? Are we sure this was a woman?
  2. 6' to 6'2" and about 340 pounds, do we really care what she was wearing? I mean, really, that's a pretty select group of people, even in a city as "big" as Portland.
  3. I love it when I am given clothing descriptions like "white shirt"--I'm sure she hasn't changed, so white shirt, that narrows down the population of women who are 6' to 6'2" and around 340 pounds. I will be on the look out for a white shirt today.
  4. But I feel like "white shoes" is an egregious sin. Guys it is Winter! Hello! Time to escalate this from Portland Police to Fashion Patrol. What's that number? 6-1-1?

Song of the day: "Starry Eyed"

Ellie Goulding from her debut album out this month. I keep a list of tracks for song of the day, and rarely have a sense, 2 weeks after I jot something down, of where I first heard it. It's got a vaguely European pop sound, but I like it.

Do they still do raves anymore? I could totally see tripping on Special K with this on a giant video screen. You know, cough, based on what others have told me...

You know, except for the crashes

Quote of the day: "Toyota's cars are safe"--Toyota President Akio Toyoda, responding to a large scale recall of Toyota autos because of safety issues.

Perhaps he doesn't understand what "safe" means. Which I get, because my Japanese fluency is pretty low.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

They give us the greens of summer

So Melanie is doing a picture a day over at Inward Facing Girl (here), and I'm impressed with the shots she's getting out of her iPhone. Shots like these:
So that inspired me to grab some apps for my iPhone and start playing. I won't be as ambitious as her photo-a-day effort, but one never knows how many different variations on photos of my dogs you will end up seeing. Like these:

Let's do this thing

From last week's SNL with Jon Hamm.

What a heavenly way to die

Sinosteel Zhejiang Co., Ltd
25th floor, CBD plaza, 369 Changjiang road.

Would you like to work online from home/temporarily and earn constant payment? We are glad to offer you a job position in our company, Sinosteel Zhejiang Co., Ltd. We permanently need new people to occupy the position of Funds Processing Manager, able to receive and send payments between our partner's clients and our company. This part-time job does not require special skills.

You do not have to spend much time to earn sufficient money as extra; this is in view of our not having an office presently in the USA/UK/Canada. You do not need to have an Office and this certainly will not disturb any form of work
you have at present.

- Honesty, Responsibility and Promptness in operations;
- PC with Internet and e-mail access;
- We do not work with persons under 18
- Postal/Mailing address. (Office or home)

1. Receiving payment from our Customers
2. Cash Payments at your Bank
3. Deduct 10%, which will be your percentage
4. Forward balance after deduction of percentage/pay to any of the offices you
will be instructed to send payment.

Instructions on how to remit the company's balance 90%, after you have deducted your 10% will be given to you. We understand it is an unusual and incredible job position. This job takes couple of hours per week. You will have a lot of free time doing your permanent job, but this job is very challenging and you should understand it. We are looking only for the worker who satisfies our requirements and will be a Co-operative assistant. We are glad to offer this job position to you if you are capable and fit to carry out the tasks stated above, and you want to work for Sinosteel Zhejiang Co., Ltd.

Please contact us for more information via email below with this Filled out

Application Form:
Please Contact:
Mr. Jason Butcher
Marketing Manager
Sinosteel Zhejiang Co., Ltd

And when you sing to me the 'shoo be doos' you do so well

I won again. This was in an attachment so I opened it on my work PC (just in case). I wonder what word they mean when they say "affectionately."

This was in the email text:
As a result of our annual program, your email address have been selected among the draws for 2010.For more details please call 0034-672-838-714 or write email to
This brief message needs your confirmation. you shall be notified your prize as well as relevant details for claims.
Thank You
Mr Cull Wills
TELEPHONE NUMBER: +34672838714 or +34-11-672838714
Thank You,

And this was the attachment (click to embiggen):

Holy shit, how did I miss this?

Jon Stewart went on O'Reilly's, what's the word, suckfest? Crazy train? Anyway, nice. Very nice. My 3rd Jon Stewart post this morning, by the way.

It's cute that O'Reilly thinks he's as funny as Stewart (Stewart's won 13 Emmys), and that Stewart is stupid (Stewart's also won 2 Peabody awards--a fairly prestigious award O'Reilly pretended he won until now-Senator Al Franken (D, MN) called him out on it). O'Reilly lives in an insulated world where no one challenges him or corrects his with facts or reality. Kinda like George Bush did. And Sarah Palin does.

It's also ADORABLE that O'Reilly is dismissive of the Daily Show audience as nothing but stoned slackers. The Daily Show's viewers scored better than O'Reillys in a news test (here). Also, fuck you Bill, I am not a slacker. I mean, my room is really messy, but I am at work every fucking morning, more or less.

Ugh--you know what, I made it through both clips, and it's just a reminder of what a colossal douche O'Reilly is.

And every night is a Saturday night

Today in Black History Month: country singer Clint Black. Happy birthday dude!

I was just thinking about something sleek

Two clips from The Daily Show. First, a dissection on the Don't Ask/Don't Tell hearings, including Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R, GA) who I always think is a black drag queen. He's not. But he did get 5 draft deferments during the Vietnam War, so of course he understands unit cohesion as well as any chicken-hawk.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
A Few Gay Men & Women
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

And the ever-brilliant Samatha Bee looks at the plight of men today.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Male Inequality
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

Don't you know it's true

Song of the day: "Norway" by Beach House from Teen Dream. My early prediction for hipster album of the year.

Get out of my dreams, get into my car

Quote of the day: "I've never seen someone be so dickish about going back on their word."--Jon Stewart on The Daily Show regarding John McCain (R, AZ) who has FLIP FLOPPED on Don't Ask/Don't Tell. See McCain said when the top military brass say it's time to end the policy, he's support ending the policy. Now he says he's disappointed with the military brass. Seriously, grandpa?

Personally, I don't understand why  
 blacks want to serve  
women want to serve
gays even want to serve
what the fucking problem is. There are a shitload of gays and lesbians in the military (always have been), they just have to lie. And all our allies allow gays in the military, so our troops serve next to openly gay and lesbians in international actions.

Anyway, grumpy grandpa, enjoy your primary challenge down in Arizona. Everyone stay off McCain's lawn. Lawns. All his lawns.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

What have I done to deserve this?

I have no idea how Google gave me this. (Click to embiggen.)

The only time I feel the presence of God is when I'm having sex, or seeing a great Broadway musical

Happy birthday Nathan Lane!

My style is UFO, totally unknown

(big h\t and transcontinental smooches to Jeremy in the ATL, you kids get off his lawn!)
Song of the day: "Enter the Ninja" by Die Antwoord from South Africa

This has started to make the rounds of the inter-webs, but let me just say "hollah!" This is awesome in so many ways, I can't control myself. And, as Greg says, the set is "part Karate Kid meets DJ Jazzy Jeff."

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I love you, you pay my rent

Quote of the day: "First rule of rescue: the rescuee does not get to make the decision"--Jon Stewart on The Daily Show (regarding bankers making decisions about their bailout)

Amen brother, amen.

Maybe shake your tambourine

Material Issue's "Very First Lie" came up on my iTunes today at work and it seemed worth sharing. From 1991's International Pop Overthrow.

Moi dès que je suis loin de paname

Song of the day:  "Loin De Paname" from the film Paris 36 and receiving an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. I'm hearing it here for the first time as I type this. It's lovely and evocative.  Later this week we will look at nominees from The Princess and the Frog, and Nine.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Trying hard to recreate what had yet to be created

(h\t The Advocate)

I love it when someone reads my mind and then puts the necessary energy into making it happen. And I especially love it when it works out awesomely!

The evil despicable Fred Phelps and his fucking evil despicable brood of evil despicable hate-mongers went to San Francisco to (get this) protest a production of Fiddler On The Roof. Apparently the Westboro Baptist Church hates Jews as much as they hate Teh Gayz and (recently) Lady Gaga.

San Francisco.

To protest a musical.

A musical.

And it wasn't Cats.

So someone had the idea to show up with random signs to dilute his hatred. This is an idea I've had but never done (in part because I don't believe Phelps and his fucktard followers have shown up in flaming godless Portland OR, and I don't get out much).

Isn't this beautiful?
Eventually Phelps and followers canceled their protest. Fuckers.

More images thanks to Laughing Squid (here).

Decided to dip and now you wanna trip

Office Of The National Security Advisor
Federal Republic Of Nigeria
Aso Rock Villa, Asokoro District,
Tel: +234-8051097525

Dear Sir/Madam

I am Lt. General Peter Olu (Rtd),National Security Advisor to the Nigerian President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua.I am delighted to inform you that the contract panel which just concluded its seating in Abuja, just released your name among listed beneficiaries to benefit from the Diplomatic Immunity Payment. This Panel was primarily delegated to investigate manipulated inheritance claims, contracts and over-invoiced payment as the effect has eaten deep into the economy of our dear country.

However,we wish to bring to your notice that your contract profile is still reflecting in our central computer as unpaid beneficiary while auditing was going on. Your payment file was forwarded to my office by the auditors as unclaimed fund, we wish to use this medium to inform you that for the time being,the Federal Government of Nigeria have stopped further payment through bank to bank transfer due to beneficiaries numerous petitions to United Nations against Nigeria on wrong payment and diversion of contract/inheritance funds to different accounts.

In this regards, we are going to send your contract part payment of $4.1 Million USD to you via our accredited shipping company and I have secured every needed documents to cover the money while the diplomat will get it delivered to you right in your door step.

Note: The money is coming in 2 security proof boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine. Please you don't have to worry for anything as the transaction is 100% risk free.

The consignment will be coming with a Diplomatic agent,who will accompany the boxes to your house address.All you need to do now is to send to me, your full house address and your identity such as,international passport or drivers license and your mobile or fixed telephone number as the Diplomatic Agent will travel with it and will call you immediately he arrives to your country's airport. I hope you understand me.

Bear in mind that the diplomat does not know the original contents of the boxes. What l declared to them as the contents is Sensitive Photographic Film Materials for security reasons. I did not declare money to them please. If they call you and ask you the contents please tell them the same thing Ok. I will let you know how far I have gone with this arrangement.

Lastly,i will secure the Diplomatic Immunity Clearance Certificate (D.I.C.C) which will make him pass every custom checkpoints all over the world without any hitch.Confirm the receipt of this message and send the requirements to me immediately because your boxes are scheduled to leave as soon as we hear from you. I can be reached on my direct official number: (+2348051097525).

Best Regards,

Lt General Peter Olu (Rtd).
National Security Advisor to the President
Federal Republic of Nigeria.

I touched you once, I touched you twice

OFFICE Special Duties/Logistics Department
Our Ref: EU/UN/GE-SW/511/DIV
Your Ref 25321/imf/us/09/08


THE EUROPEAN UNION & UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION do hereby give this Irrevocable Payment Approval Order with Release Code No: GNC/3480/02/00 in your favor for your Inheritance/Award Winning Payment with the EU/UN to your nominated bank account. Now your new Payment Approval No; UN5685P, White House Approved No: WH44CV, Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331, Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103, Citibank Telex confirmation No: -1114433 ; Secret Code No:XXTN013. Having received these vital payment numbers,

As a matter of fact, you are required to Deal and Communicate only with REV. KENNETH BROWN, INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND NEW YORK, which is our official Monitoring partner. The Committee on Foreign Payment Matters in EU/UN has look up to make sure you receive your fund valued $8.3Million. So i will advice you to get contact with: REV. KENNETH BROWN on his contact information, in NEW YORK; Email : TELEPHONE +1-718-663-7789 or fax: +1-206-984-3626 Also contact MR.SCOTT PETERS OF CITIBANK LONDON FOR IMMEDIATELY TRANSFER EMAIL : TELEPHONE:+44-703-598-6441 ,,,+44-703-599-0316,,+44-704-570-0246 CELL :+44-785-726-6104 or Fax: +44 844 4435285 for immediate release of your Inheritance/Award Winning claim. Be informed that you are not allowed to correspond with any person or office anymore. You are required to send the only to the bel

Direct Citibank Telephone No :+44-703-598-6441 or +44-703-599-0316
MOBILE TELEPHONE, +44 785-726-6104
FAX NUMBER:+44 844 4435279
Email: or

for immediate release of your contract/inheritance/Award Winning claim Be informed that you are not allowed to correspond with any person or office anymore, You are required to send bellow information for your transfer.



TELEPHONE OFFICE/BANK:+44-703-598-6441 or +44-703-599-0316
MOBILE TELEPHONE, +44 785-726-6104
FAX NUMBER:+44 844 4435279


We finally got a piece of the pie

Who is the first man of color (that's code for Black) you remember seeing on TV? If you are over 40 years old, it was probably on Sanford and Son or All in the Family or its spin-off The Jeffersons. Nichelle Nichols (Star Trek) and Diahann Carroll (Julia) both had series on in the 60s, but black men didn't get a shot until the 70s [see update below], and then they had to be funny (I guess so as not to be threatening). Sanford and Son got to the air first, but today's birthday Sherman Hemsley of All in the Family and The Jeffersons had a much longer run.

I'm trying to figure out who the first black actor (male) to play a dramatic (non-buffoon) role. The bartender on the Love Boat? Not really counting. The helicoptor pilot on Magnum P.I.? Blair Underwood on L.A. Law? That can't be right. Stew on that for a minute, and consider how important Hemsley's visibility might have been for blacks in the 70s. John Amos's role on Good Times was fairly dramatic, considering it was a sitcom, but he died after the third season. [UPDATE: Leland offers Linc from Mod Squad, and Clark mentioned Cosby which reminded me that he was on I, Spy in the 60s as well--so both of these count.]

So today's the first day of Black History Month. Consider George Jefferson and Sherman Hemsley in the context of black history.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

I think we're superstars

Song of the day: "VCR" by The xx from XX. I have this in my queue from the library so I'll report back when I listen to it in its entirety.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I wouldn't stop it if I could

Congratulations to David Guetta, whose "When Love Takes Over" (my #1 single for 2009) won a Grammy in the Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical (which is awesome since they don't have a Classical cohort to this, and I can't image remixed Classical music anyway). Guetta did the remix himself (the Electro Extended Remix), but Kelly Rowland doesn't get to share in the award, and sadly Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" beat the track in the Best Dance Recording category (Gaga also beat the Pet Shop Boys for their nomination this year).

Here is Guetta's Grammy-winning remix.

I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree

It's Jessica Walter's birthday. I know her from Arrested Development, but she won an Emmy years before and was in Play Misty for Me. Now she's the boozey grandmother on 90210 and the head of Isis on the fantastic Archer (on FX, funny shit).

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

There'll come a time you'll remember it well

Song of the day: "My Friend The Sun" by Pete Holsapple & Chris Stamey, from Here And Now (a cover of a Family song)