Saturday, January 30, 2010

Someone left the cake out in the rain

When I posted about Glenn Greenwald's column a little bit ago (just below that thing from the FBI), I didn't realize that today is Dick Cheney's birthday.

Is it redundant to call a war profiteer a war criminal? I see those two despicable criminal issues as separate, and I believe strongly that he is guilty of both. Also his daughter is a lesbian, which is totally against family values. Actually I shouldn't joke about the lesbian part, because you might not realize how serious I am that the man is a war criminal, and a war profiteer.

War criminal? The invasion of Iraq. He has the blood of hundreds of thousands on his hands. And by the way, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the first wars in which Americans were not asked to sacrifice, and in fact wealthy Americans were given tax cuts. The first time. The next time you hear a Republican say something like "we're at war" remember that. We are at a war that was never paid for in the Bush administration budgets, leading us to trillions of dollars in debt. Who the fuck are the deficit hawks, exactly?

War profiteer? Dick Cheney kept his stock options in Halliburton. Then as VP awarded Halliburton no-bid contracts related to the war in Iraq. The unjustified war in Iraq. The war in Iraq that killed thousands of Americans (more Americans than were killed in 9/11, he's to blame), and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. I mean, they're A-rabs, but that's gotta count for something. Here's a graph:
(update 11/2016: here are 2 graphs that I've hastily assembled since I'm not sure what was in the old graph but the link is now dead; the first compares US casualties for 9/11 and the war on terror with Iraqi casualties and the value of Halliburton stock over time; the second compares causalities to date for the US, Iraq and Afghanistan)



Of course, that's from a few years ago, but Halliburton's still doing well. Despite billing us for work that was never done, or not done to specification, and double-billed us for work that was done.

Remember when there was all that outrage over ACORN, when the dip-shit dressed as a pimp released those hidden camera tapes (which, by the way, were heavily edited and later investigations showed no wrong doing--dip-shit pimp has been charged with a few felonies recently, by the way) and politicians bent the fuck over backward to de-fund ACORN. How much do you think any of them have done about Halliburton?

War profiteer, my friends. Despicable, evil, war criminal. Can't wait to see him in The Hague. Here's to you, Dick:


Happy birthday dude. Rock on! Go fuck yourself!

I need some time off from that emotion

You know, I think this is my third "final" notice from the FBI... poor Robert Mueller. But look at all the organizations that were CC'd on this letter; the Commerce Court of 1910-1913!!!

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J.. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Attention:

BENEFICIARY,

You are to contact the ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)Lagos, Nigeria to obtain the Clearance Documents, find below their contact information's:
Contact Person: Rev. Andrew Kelly

PRINCIPAL STAFF OFFICER ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)

Rev Andrew Email: akelly01@blumail.org

Lagos Office Address 15A Awolowo Road, Ikoyi, Lagos Nigeria

Ensure you contact them(EFCC) with your Full Name,Address and phone number/cell number.

Contact the EFCC via Email with the information above immediately,once you contact them i will get back to you or else i will have an agent come visit you at home for questioning.



Furthermore, be advice that according to the United State Law together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the EFCC OF Lagos Nigeria where the fund was transfered from. Also Note that you are to take care of the cost of the Document, which will be issued in your name. due to the content of the document and how important and secured the document is, you as the beneficiary will send to the EFCC OF NIGERIA the sum of Usd250 Dollars only for the issuing of the document right away and your Usd1.5 million will be release to you, That is the lay down rules for EFCC OF NIGERIA to release such sensitive document, EFCC will issue you the authentic and original copy of the documents with seal on it for verification and approval.



You are here by advice to Contact them through the email address above to make an enquiry concerning how you will send the official fee to them. Note that you are to observe this immediately, if you really want your funds to be credited to your personal bank account and to avoid any legal battle with the security operatives over this matter... We have already informed the EFCC OF NIGERIA about the present situation, go ahead and contact them immediately. Your fund is under our custody and will not be release to you unless the required document is confirmed, after that the fund will be release to you immediately without any delay.



NOTE: We have asked for the above document to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes. The documents will clarify the intensity of this fund; exonerate it from money laundry, scam and terrorism.



WARNING: failure to provide the above requirement in the next 24 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you as soon as international court of justice issues a warrant of arrest, if you are found guilty, you will be jailed........ As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today and the world at large. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulges in this criminal act. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHEMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT. No body is above the law and the law is not a respecter of anybody. We presumed you are law abiding citizen whom would not want have scuffles with the authority, in and outside America.



We are charged with the responsibility of implementing legal norms and our authority is irrevocable so dont dare dispute our instruction, just act as instructed.The person you know will not help you in this matter rather abide by this instruction. the funds inquestion was depsited by those people that contacted you.



Note: You are to contact them (EFCC) with your full names,phone number/cell number and full address via their email which i stated above immediately for the processing of your Clearance Documents within the next 48 hours.
Faithfully Your's
Robert S.Mueller 111
FBI Director

Note contact the EFCC office: akelly01@blumail.org

You have less than 24 hours to contact them.

CC. TO:
Supreme Court of the United States
U. S. Courts of Appeals
U. S. District Courts
U. S. Circuit Courts
Courts of Special Jurisdiction:
Bankruptcy Courts
Court of Claims, 1855 - 1982
U. S. Court of Federal Claims, 1982 -
Customs Court, 1890 - 1980
U. S. Court of Customs and Patent Appeals, 1910 - 1982
U. S. Court of International Trade, 1980 -
Commerce Court, 1910 - 1913
Territorial Courts
Courts of the District of Columbia
Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals
Judicial Panel on Multi-District Litigation
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court
Federal Courts Outside the Judiciary

I'll bet you think this song is about you

The always wonderful Glenn Greenwald, today at Salon (here):

The invasion of Iraq was unquestionably one of the greatest crimes of the last several decades. Imagine what future historians will say about it -- a nakedly aggressive war launched under the falsest of pretenses, in brazen violation of every relevant precept of law, which destroyed an entire country, killed huge numbers of innocent people, and devastated the entire population. Have we even remotely treated it as what it is?

'Cause I know you'll love me like you should

Quote of the day: "If you crossed Bjork with a disco ball and a hedgehog and put it on skates, you'd get Johnny Weir."--Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon (here)

The article has plenty of runner-up quotes as well:
"In short, Johnny Weir is the most interesting thing to happen to ice since Baileys Irish Cream."--Williams again

"There are some things I keep sacred. My middle name. Who I sleep with. And what kind of hand moisturizer I use."--Wier himself

"Nobody ever said you can't have the eye of the tiger even if you're dressed like a swan."--more Williams

Dream about me

Song of the day: "Dream About Me" by The Depreciation Guild. I love this song--it hearkens back to lush late-80s Brit pop like Frazier Chorus and someone else (I've been struggling to figure out if it's early Kitchens of Distinction or someone else... it'll come to me eventually). Anyway, loving it, looking for the disk, more soon possibly.

Friday, January 29, 2010

To all my neighbors, you got much flavor

This is funny, funny shit.

Didn't know how lost I was until I found you

Dear Friend,

I am David Wei, Principal Assurance manager for the Hua xia Bank in China. I am getting in touch with you regarding the estate of Abbot Coldwell and an investment placed under our banks management 7 years ago.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contact you independently and no one is informed of this communication. In 2000, the subject matter; Abbot came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our private banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35 million United States dollars, which he wished to have us invest on his behalf.

Based on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars. In mid 2002, he instructed that the principal sum (8.35M) be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in Hong Kong and China. We got in touch with a specialist bank in China, the Guangdong Development Bank (GDB) who agreed to receive this money for a fee and make cash available to Abbot. However Guangdong Development Bank got in touch with us last year that this money has not been claimed. On further enquiries we found out that Abbot was involved in an accident in Mainland China, which means he died intestate. He has no next of kin.

What I propose is that since I have exclusive access to his file, you will be made the beneficiary of these funds. My bank will contact you informing you that money has been willed to you. On verification, which will be the details I make available to my bank, my bank will instruct GDB to make payments to you. You do not have to have known him. I know this might be a bit heavy for you but please trust me on this. For all your troubles I propose that we split the money in half. In the banking circle this happens every time. The other option is that the money will revert back to the state. Nobody is getting hurt; this is a lifetime opportunity for us. I hold the KEY to these funds, and as a Chinese National we see so much cash and funds being re-assigned daily. I would want us to keep communication for now strictly by the above email.

Please, again, note I am a family man; I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to t the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should act swiftly on this. Please pardon my writing mistakes.

Please get back to me immediately email.

I await your response.

David Wei.

So I'm back to the Velvet Underground

I await your "Acceptance Letter"...(01/29/10)

THIS IS FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

I wish to notify you that you were listed as a beneficiary to an Inheritance totaling a sum of 8,600,000.00GBP (Eight Million, Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased.(Name now withheld). I am contacting you because you bear the surname identity of the deceased and therefore, we can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance.

I therefore reckon that you can receive this fund as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed on your acceptance. In the light of the above, I request that you kindly forward to me your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file the necessary documents at the High Court Probate Division for the release of this sum of money to you.

If per adventure, you deem it fit to be part of this great promising venture, please indicate your interest by responding to this notice via my personal email address:

kelgrant11@i12.com


Yours faithfully,

Kelvin Grant.

My opening line might be a bit passe

Hello,

I must crave your indulgence to introduce myself as barrister Harris Fowler, an attorney at law, 49 years, and married with four kids. I got your contact through international web directories. In the discharge of my duty, I received a notification for claim from an international bank, on a domiciliary account belonging to one of my clients that has remained dormant for nine years now, with fourteen million five hundred thousand united states dollars only ($14.5M USD) in it.

My client, a real estate investor and property magnate died on plane crash with all the members of his family and extended family leaving no next of kin to heir his properties and cash deposited with the bank. You are advised to take a look on homepage below as reported by BBC. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Recently, the bank sent me a notification as his legal representative informing me that any further delay to provide my client next of kin before the end of bank year, that based on the bank policy on all unclaimed fund within a period of ten (10) dormant years that his fund will be reverted to the ownership of the bank, re transferred into their escrow account, be shared among their shareholders and my client account be confiscated. Can this happen?

I therefore send you this mail extending my hand of friendship to present you as the bonafide foreign beneficiary and next of kin to my late client, so that we can work together in partnership and have this fund claimed from the bank. The fund will be deposited into any account you will provide.

The process involve is very simple. it will not take more than 14 banking working days from today to be concluded if you follow all my instructions accordingly. I also intend to invest into real estate. If I hear from you, I will tell you the operational and legal process involve claiming this fund and having it transferred into your nominated bank account for our mutual benefit. It is a very simple process.

I will like you to include your full name, full address, any means of identification, and phone number for voice discussion in your reply, as I am currently here to sort things out with the bank.

The modality involve for sharing of the money will be discussed between the two of us on agreed terms to be legally signed and sealed.

Sincerely yours,

Harris Fowler Esq.

Colbert's State of the Stephen Address

Stephen's State of the Union Speech
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorEconomy

Life's not the French Riviera

(Except for people who actually live and work in the French Riviera, in which case it totally is...)

It's Ann Jillian's birthday, and the It's A Living theme song is a work of art.


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Accept the grace...

Song of the day: "Widow Wake My Mind" by Smashing Pumpkins from their big 44-song Teargarden By Kaleidyscope thing. I don't remember the Mick Jagger vocals from before.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Baby don't fall for anything that says it's never gonna give you everything

Domino's Pizza's new commercials bother me. Watch for a minute.


Here's the thing, if these are genuinely focus group participants, their identities ought to be protected from Domino's. Whoever is responsible for disclosing that information is responsible for a huge ethical violation.

Companies watch focus groups. There's almost always someone behind the two-way mirror, and it's being videotaped for transcription and review later. That shit is standard.

But showing up at people's homes means either means that at some point these participants waived confidentiality, or Domino's is doing more wrong than making bad pizzas.

Also "we had no idea our pizza was bad before, but trust us that it's great now" seems a little disingenuous. But what's worse is expecting us to believe that the "surprised" people genuinely enjoy the improved pizza. The reason survey researchers grant anonymity to respondents is so they will speak candidly (as you saw in the focus group footage). When people are standing in front of them, most people tend to temper their comments (not me, but I lack any kind of concern for what people think of me... it's part of my "quirky charm").

Anyway, "bad touch" Domino's (and your ad agency)... bad touch.

And if they don't believe me now, will they ever believe me

While I'm having a "Frankly Mr. Shankly" week, I was in the mood for a little 80s angst from Moz, so here's "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side" from The Smiths' 1986 The Queen Is Dead (but you probably knew that already).

My money was just in Philadelphia, why did you move it

VERSUS BANK CI
Immeuble CRRAE-UMOA - Boulevard Botreau Roussel,
Derri?re la BCEAO, Face ? la Rue des Banques
Abidjan - Plateau R?publique de C?te d'Ivoire
01 BP 1874 Abidjan 01, C?te d'Ivoire
Contact Person: Dr Mr Michael Owen (Director)
Phone: +225 45491697
Email: mrmichaelowen@gala.net

ATTENTION:CATEGORY A BENEFICIARY.

Hello how are you doing today. I wanted you to know that the funds was
released from West -Africa and now in ATLANTA Georgia. It was carried by our diplomat
Don Richard And the funds is now in ATLANTA Georgia in USA at the present time.

The funds are now lying with the diplomat who brought the funds from
west africa to USA, The diplomat doesn't know the content of what is in
the consignment he brought to USA. On the documents that were given out
to him he was told the consignment contains industrial items and
documents. So please do not let him know the content of the consigment.
Till its delivered to you and opened by you. You will be given the
passcode to open the consignment box as soon as we comfirm its had been
delivered and signed by you.

When contacting him don't let him know that the consignment contains Money, which he had brought to USA.
You will be contacting the diplomat for the delivery of the consignment
to you. Below its his contact information's. You give him a call and let
him know your location so that the consignment can be delivered to you.
You also send to him your contact phone number and address with the
below email.

Name: Don Richard
Email:mrdonrichard@gmail.com
Phone: +1 404 647 1164

When contact him you send him your address and phone number and make
sure You give him a call. Its important you give him a call. If you have
any Question you can only reach me on +225 45491697

Yours truely

Dr Mr Michael Owen (Director)

Big old sun is rising up so elegant and thin


I took this shot a few years ago flying home. If you don't know the beauty of Mt. Hood, it's great. We had a clear sunny day yesterday, and the mountain is covered with snow as low as I could see from the office. I mean, I'm not going skiing or anything, just "hey look, it's pretty."

Love means nothing in some strange quarters

"There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people."


Rest in peace Howard Zinn.

We are blinded to the beauty in our own lives

Happy birthday Colette

She wrote Gigi and Cheri, among her 50 or so novels.


Bisexual, feminist, cougar, one name--she's Madonna without the Catholic paraphernalia. And since I don't have much else to embed, here's Madonna from the Hope for Haiti concert.


Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

You try sometimes but it won't stop

Song of the day: "I'd Do It All Again" by Corinne (1 R, 2 Ns) Bailey Rae (no Y) from The Sea

My supperdish, my succotash wish

VERSUS BANK CI
Immeuble CRRAE-UMOA - Boulevard Botreau Roussel,
Derri?re la BCEAO, Face ? la Rue des Banques
Abidjan - Plateau R?publique de C?te d'Ivoire
01 BP 1874 Abidjan 01, C?te d'Ivoire
Contact Person: Dr Mr Michael Owen (Director)
Phone: +225 45491697
Email: mrmichaelowen@gala.net
ATTENTION:CATEGORY A BENEFICIARY.

Hello how are you doing today. I wanted you to know that the funds was
released from West -Africa  and now in Philadephia a. It was carried by our diplomat
Don Richard And the funds is now in Philadephia in USA  at the present time.

The funds are now lying with the diplomat who brought the funds from
west africa  to philadephia,  The diplomat doesn't know the content of what is in
the consignment he brought to USA. On the documents that were given out
to him he was told the consignment contains industrial items and
documents. So please do not let him know the content of the consigment.
Till its delivered to you and opened by you. You will be given the
passcode to open the consignment box as soon as we comfirm its had been
delivered and signed by you.


When contacting him don't let him know that the consignment contains Money, which he had brought to USA.
You will be contacting the diplomat for the delivery of the consignment
to you. Below its his contact information's. You give him a call and let
him know your location so that the consignment can be delivered to you.
You also send to him your contact phone number and address with the
below email.

Name: Don Richard
Email:mrdonrichard@mail2world.com
Phone: +12069659564

When contact him you send him your address and phone number and make
sure You give him a call. Its important you give him a call. If you have
any Question you can only reach me on +225 45491697

Yours truely

Dr Mr Michael Owen (Director)

It will end again in bullets flying

This is a big mess, but enjoy!
 
AUSTRALIAN INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY PROGRAMME
7th Floor East
Commonwealth Center
55 Currie Street
Adelaide SA 5000,
South Australia.
 
Date 28/1/2010
Ref: 475061725
Batch: 7056490902/188
Winning no: GB8701/LPRC
 
CONGRATULATIONS!!
 
Dear Sir/Madam,
 
We are delighted to inform you of your prize release on the 28th of January, 2010
From the Australian International Lottery programmer which is fully based on an
Electronic selection of winners using their E-mail addresses form some site. Your email address was attached to ticket
Number; 47061725 07056490902 serial number 7741137002 this batch draws the lucky 
Numbers as follows 5-13-33-37-42 bonus number 17, which consequently won the lottery in the second category.
 
 
You here by have been approved a lump sum pay of US$500,000.00 ( Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) in cash credit file ref: ILP/HW 47509/02 from the total
Cash prize shared amongst eight lucky winners in this category. All participants
Were selected through a computer balloting system drawn form Nine hundred
Thousand E-mail addresses from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe,
Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international
promotions program
Which is conducted annually?
 
This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some
multinational
Companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base.
 
 
Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our European
Representative office in Amsterdam, Holland, as indicated in your play coupon
And your prize of US$500,000.00 will be released to you from this regional
branch office in NIGERIA. We hope with part of your prize, you will
participate
In our end of year high stakes for ?7.8 Billion Great Britain Pounds
international draw.
 
 
 
                          HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE:
Simply contact our fiducially agent, REV MORGAN COSTA at
revmorgancosta0238@yahoo.com.hk, Tel :+234 802 988 5455 to
File for your claim.
 
 
Please quote your reference, batch and winning number which can be
found on the
Top left corner of this notification as well as your full name, address and
telephone number to help locate your file easily. For
Security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential
From the public until your claim is processed and your prize released to you.
 
 
This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted
taking advantage of this programmer by non-participant or unofficial
personnel.
 
 
                               NOTE
  All winnings MUST be claimed by the 20th of Febuary, 2010, otherwise all
Funds will be returned as Unclaimed and eventually donated to charity
organizations.
 
 
Congratulations once again on your winnings!!!
Best Regards Carol Sweet(co-ordinator)
 
 
PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS AGENT AT
revmorgancosta0238@yahoo.com.hk
Tel:+234 802 988 5455
 
 
ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY ON THE PART OF THE WINNERS
WILL RESULT TO DISQUALIFICATION.
 
 
 
To file for your claim, please kindly fill out the claim form below and e-mail
it to our fiduciary agent, with the contact below.
 
 
 
 
1. FULL NAMES: __________________________________
2. ADDRESS: _____________________________________________
3. SEX: _______________
4. AGE: ________
5. MARITAL STATUS: ___________________
6. OCCUPATION: ________________________
7. E-MAIL ADDRESS: _____________________________
8. TELEPHONE NUMBER: _____________________
9. BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF COMPANY/INDIVIDUAL___________
10. AMOUNT WON: ___________________________________
11. COUNTRY________________________________
 
 
 
 
ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY ON THE PART OF THE WINNERS WILL RESULT TO DISQUALIFICATION.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It's your favorite foreign movie

Quote of the day, AGAIN from Paul Krugman: "The spending freeze — about which the best thing you can say in its favor is that it’s a transparently cynical PR stunt — has, for many, been the final straw: rhetorically, it’s a complete concession to Reaganism."

Blog post here.

If Troy Donahue can be a movie star, then I can be a movie star

He is part of the inspiration for Troy McClure (along with actor Doug McClain).




Happy birthday dude. Rest in peace.

Come and take our personality quiz

Song of the day: "We Are Having a Hootenany Now" by Magnetic Fields from Realism

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You call the shots, and they follow

Quote of the day: "It’s appalling on every level."--Paul Krugman, Nobel prize winning Economist in his NY Times blog (here) reacting to the stupid FUCKING "discretionary spending freeze" that the Obama Administration is embracing because Scott Brown (R, MA) won a Senate seat.

1. Discretionary spending is one of the only ways to recovery. Fuck, read an Economics book. Read a History book. Need proof? Cash For Clunkers. How's the auto industry doing these days? A little better, don't you think?
2. Obama can't fucking win by trying to appease Republicans. You don't think a spending freeze, that Sen. McCain (R, AZ) himself kept babbling about 18 months ago, is gonna be enough do you? They're gonna expect more and more. Has a single Republican given a single FUCKING thing in compromise to the Obama Administration yet? Cunts first.

I left the north, I traveled south

Senator Mary Landrieu's office (D, LA) appears to be the victim of an attempt to bug one of her offices (details here). But here's the thing, Senator Landrieu has voted to give away the right to privacy of Americans by supporting the Federal Government in wiretapping without warrants.

And since only people with something to hide are worried about being wiretapped without a warrant, I can only conclude that this bitch has something to hide.

Wonder what it is.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

Much has been made about the recent Supreme Court ruling, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, essentially opening campaign financing up to an unregulated frenzy. And while I am a vocal supporter of radical campaign finance reform (all publicly funded elections to get special interests THE FUCK out of the game), I'm not as freaked out by this ruling. I mean, it sucks that things will probably get worse before they get better, but I think it's silly to think that big business didn't have many ways around the existing campaign laws.

But the thing that really is getting my attention is the repeated assertions that the ruling basically gives companies the rights of people. But the ruling is based on the First Amendment, and here's the wording of the First Amendment:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Free speech advocates celebrate the ruling because it removes a restriction on speech, period. There's no mention of "people" or not, it's just about government-applied restrictions. Right?

Happy birthday Lucinda Williams

I'll let a few songs do the talking. First, a rumination on a friend's suicide, "Sweet Old World" from 1992:


From 1998, "Right In Time":


From 2001, "Lonely Girls":


From 2003, "Those Three Days":


But for all the unrequited angst, she still gets credit for saying "sometimes you have to believe that you deserve to have it all"... from 1988, "Passionate Kisses":


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the day: "Staying In Love"

New retro-soul from Raphael Saadiq.

Monday, January 25, 2010

There's just a lot of shouting here...

UNITED NATIONS AND PRESIDENCY FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA IN-CONJUNCTION WITH WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMME DIRECTOR OF INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMATIC PAYMENT ASO ROCK VILLA, ASOKORO DISTRICT, ABUJA DIRECT SECURITY LINE +234.7055669414
CONFIDENTIAL DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT
OUR VISIT OUR WEBSITE:http://www.un.int/nigeria/
 
ATTN: BENEFICIARY
 
I AM LT GENERAL JAMES MORGAN (RTD), UNITED NATIONS ENDORSED/ELECTED DIRECTOR OF INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMATIC PAYMENT FOR WEST AFRICA NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER TO PRESIDENT ALHAJI UMARU YAR" ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA. I AM DELIGHTED TO INFORM YOU THAT THE CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PANEL, WHICH JUST CONCLUDED IT'S SEATING IN ABUJA JUST RELEASED YOUR NAME AMONGST CONTRACTORS AND BENEFACTORS TO BENEFIT FROM THE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT. THIS PANEL WAS PRIMARILY DELEGATED TO INVESTIGATE MANIPULATED CONTRACT CLAIMS AND INHERITANCE, AND OVER-INVOICED PAYMENT AS THE EFFECT HAS EATEN DEEP INTO THE ECONOMY OF OUR DEAR COUNTRY. HOWEVER, WE WISH TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT YOUR CONTRACT PROFILE IS STILL REFLECTING IN OUR CENTRAL COMPUTER AS UNPAID CONTRACTOR WHILE AUDITING WAS GOING ON. YOUR CONTRACT FILE WAS FORWARDED TO MY OFFICE BY THE AUDITORS AS UNCLAIMED FUND, WE WISH TO USE THIS MEDIUM TO INFORM YOU THAT FOR THE TIME BEING FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA HAVE STOPPED FURTHER PAYMENT THROUGH BANK TO BANK TRANSFER DUE TO CONTRACTORS NUMEROUS PETITIONS TO UNITED NATIONS AGAINST NIGERIA ON WRONG PAYMENT AND DIVERSION OF CONTRACT FUNDS TO DIFFERENT ACCOUNT. IN THIS REGARDS WE ARE GOING TO SEND YOUR CONTRACT PART PAYMENT/ INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF USD$5.5 MILLION TO YOU VIA OUR ACCREDITED SHIPPING COMPANY AND I HAVE SECURED EVERY NEEDED DOCUMENTS TO COVER THE MONEY. NOTE: THE MONEY IS COMING ON 2 SECURITY PROOF BOXES. THE BOXES ARE SEALED WITH SYNTHETIC NYLON SEAL AND PADDED WITH MACHINE. PLEASE YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRYFOR ANYTHING, AS THE TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE. THE BOXES ARE COMING WITH A DIPLOMATIC AGENT WHO WILL ACCOMPANY THE BOXES TO YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO NOW IS TO SEND TO ME YOUR FULL HOUSE ADDRESS AND YOUR IDENTITY SUCH AS, INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE AND YOUR MOBILE PHONE AND TELEPHONE NUMBER, THE DIPLOMATIC ATTACH? WILL TRAVEL WITH IT. HE WILL CALL YOU IMMEDIATELY HE ARRIVES YOUR COUNTRY'S AIRPORT. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME.PLEASE KINDLY GET BACK TO ME TODAY ALSO WITH THE REQUESTED INFORMAT
 
1. FULL NAMES:
2. ADDRESS...
3. City:
4. State...
5. Email Address...
6. Postcode...
7. Country...
8. SEX...
9. AGE...
9. OCCUPATION...
10. TELEPHONE NUMBER...
11) COPY OF INT'L PASSPORT, DRIVERS LINSENSE, OR ANY VALID ID CARD.
 
NOTE: THE DIPLOMAT DOES NOT KNOW THE ORIGINAL CONTENTS OF THE BOXES. WHAT L DECLARED TO THEM AS THE CONTENTS IS SENSITIVE PHOTOGRAPHIC FILM MATERIALS FOR SECURITY REASONS. I DID NOT DECLARE MONEY TO THEM PLEASE. IF THEY CALL YOU AND ASK YOU THE CONTENTS PLEASE TELL THEM THE SAME THING OK. CALL ME ON MY DIRECT PHONE +234.7031997622-OR EMAIL AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW FAR I HAVE GONE WITH THE ARRANGEMENT. I WILL SECURE THE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE WHICH WILL MAKE IT PASS EVERY CUSTOM CHECKPOINT ALL OVER THE WORLD WITHOUT HITCH. CONFIRM THE RECEIPT OF THIS MESSAGE AND SEND THE REQUIREMENTS TO ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE. PLEASE I NEED URGENT REPLY BECAUSE THE BOXES ARE SCHEDULE TO LIVE AS SOON AS WE HEAR FROM YOU. CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.
 
 
CONGRATULATIONS.
 
BEST REGARDS,
LT GENERAL JAMES MORGAN (RTD).
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER TO THE
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
E MAIL: dip_payment01@rediffmail.com
CELL PHONE: +234. 7055669414
CONFIDENTIAL DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT

Song of the day: "Stranded (Haiti Mon Amour)"

Jay-Z, The Edge, Bono, and Rihanna in a benefit single. This makes Rihanna's like 5th song of the day in like 4 weeks, but I'm not obsessed.

Happy birthday Etta James

A few years ago, possibly a cousin's wedding, I remember arguing with a distant relative about whether Etta James was still alive and/or if she was also Ella Fitzgerald. Needless to say, this was a wedding with an open bar, and was before the iPhone. Even still, I was right.

Dammit, Aunt Rosie, I was right!

Anyway, Etta's still out there, doing her thing. And that's no longer heroin (which it was for a while). Here's a hit of hers that isn't her mega hit.


The girl's been going for more than 50 years now, and performed live on Dancing With The Stars less than a year ago. So she's still ALIVE Rosie, still alive. Ella Fitzgerald is dead, and they are also different people. I don't know how to illustrate that though. Oh wait, yes I do. (Click image to embiggen.)













Here's another classic that's also not her mega-hit.


Etta has 4 Grammys and a litany of lifetime achievement awards, but I find her especially award-worthy for trash talking Beyonce (Beyonce portrayed James in Cadillac Records). I think any 70+ year old who says "I hate Beyonce" is my kinda senior. Her nephew (or someone) tried to talk that back with something weak like "of course she LOVES Beyonce" which, cough, we all bought. Hey, here's another song.


And here's the song that's spawned dozens of luxury car and diamond ring ads, and been the official song at 3 (at least) weddings I've been to in the last decade or so.


Happy birthday dude! Let's trade--I will be your nephew and will never try to spin it when you bitch slap Beyonce, and your nephew can have my Aunt Rosie, who doesn't really know who you are... Rock on!

What a busy Sunday night that was

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
RE: AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement of winners on the 22nd of January 2010, of the GREENWICH PROMO LOTTERY, AN ASIA/EUROPE INTERNATIONAL PROGRAM.

Your email address, is attached to ticket number 03 07 13 23 12 14 21, with serial number 1582-812 drew the lucky numbers 07-06-10-11-BR-ZE, and consequently won the lottery in the 3rd category. You have therefore been approved for a lumpsum payment of US$5,500,000.00 (Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars only), credited to file REFERENCE NO: 544/818/223 and BATCH NO: 645252868-JJ98.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from a collation of frequent internet users from all over the world from Australia, New Zealand, United States of America, Europe, North America and Asia as part of the International Promotions Program, which is conducted bi-annually. No tickets were sold.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Please be informed that your winnings of the sum of US$5,500,000.00 has been zoned to the European Processing Office. Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award confidential from public notice until your claim has been processed and your money remitted to your account. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program. We hope with a part of you prize, you will participate in our end of year
high stakes US$1.3 billion International Lottery.

To begin your claim, please contact your claims agent: MR. JASON COOK via this email address (jasoncook011@yahoo.co.jp), for due processing and remittance of your prize money.

Send an email with your Reference Number 544/818/223 and Batch number 645252868-JJ98.
MR. JASON COOK.
EMAIL: jasoncook011@yahoo.co.jp

Remember all prize money must be claimed not later than the 12th of February 2010. After this date, all funds will be returned as unclaimed. NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your correspondences with your agent. Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible. Congratulations from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Kaori Mai
(Online Promotion Coordinator).

More $ for motherless babies

Hey motherless babies, who's your "daddy"? Heh...


I am Mrs Joy Collins from Netherlands,I am 69 years old,i am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next one months,this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a
child ,died in a fatal motor accident Before his death we were true Christians.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $18.5million dollars with a Security Company.Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of
authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, Im with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from.I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows,I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you soon.

Waiting for your reply

Yours in Christ

From Mrs Joy Collins

Last week Joan Collins, today Kevin Smith

Ffrey & Co Chambers
Notary Public, Solicitors & Advocate
101 Barbirolli Square Bridgewater
Manchester M2 3UL - United Kingdom.

Dear Friend,

I am Kevin Smith Esq., a senior advocate here in UK. I am the personal attorney to Eng. Robert, a national of your country, who was till his death a contractor with shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC) here in UK. hereinafter shall be referred to as my client.

On the 21st of April 2005, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a fire outbreak in their residence. All the family members unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the fund valued at £10,500,000.00 (Ten Million Five Hundred thousand Pounds) left behind by my client before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the finance firm where this huge amount was deposited. The said finance company has issued me a notice to provide the Next of Kin or have the account confiscated within the next fourteen official working days. For the fact that i have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 4 years now, i seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same nationality as well as my client so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you while you compensate me in return and donate some part to charity homes.

I will provide the necessary information and legal documents that will be required to back you up for the claim. All i require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law both in your country and that of the UK.

Please reply if you are interested for more details.

Best regards,

Kevin Smith Esq

From Mr. John Mike

From Mr.John mike.

We wish to inform you that the Diplomatic Agent conveying the consignment box valued the sum of $15 Million United States Dollars misplaced your address and he is currently stranded at your International airport now. We required you reconfirm the following information below so that he can deliver your consignment box to you today.

Name: ....
Home/Office Address:
Mobile Number.:
Name of Your Nearest Airport:
A Copy of Your Identification:

Get Back to me with your full personal information's for the delivery of your consignment.

Thanks.
Mr.john mike.

NOTE: The Diplomatic Agent does not know that the content of the consignment box is $15 Million United States Dollars and on no circumstances should you let him know the content. The consignment was moved from here as family treasures, so never allow him to open the box no matter the condition ans situation.

Sheesh lady, pick ONE

Dear Sir/madam

My name is Mrs. Lawrencia Agrrey I am 63 years old, I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have to you/churches/motherless babies/less privileged/ widows. I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2 years ago. I have been touched by god to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for good work of god. I have asked god to forgive me and believe he has because he is a merciful god. I will be going in for an operation Next week Monday.I decided to WILL/donate the sum of 10.7 million dollars to you for the good work of god, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my relatives (That have squandered the funds I gave them for this purpose before) are around me and my health status also.

I have adjusted my WILL and my lawyer is aware. I wish you all the best and may the good god bless you abundantly, and please use the Funds judiciously and always extend the good work to others. As soon you get back to me, I shall give you info on what I need from you then you will contact my bank and tell them I have willed (10.7 million dollars) to you by quoting my personal reference number: Jlk/Wds/95773/50015/GwrI/3196us/GH and I have also notified my bank that I am willing that amount to you for a good, effective and prudent work. I know I don't know you but I have been
directed to do this by god.

Thanks and god bless.
Regards,
Mrs. Lawrencia Agrrey

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Notes on In The Loop and Extract

I successfully rented DVDs from non-redbox, yet red, $1 DVD rental kiosks that are also in the shape of boxes (I had a problem before and returned to the wrong place, effectively spending more than $20 each on Up and Julie & Julia). In the Loop got fantastic reviews this past summer (its Rotten Tomatoes score is like 93), and was runner-up for a couple of critics awards, so I wanted to see if it might be a darkhorse contender for Original Screenplay, Best Actor (Peter Capaldi) or Best Supporting Actor (James Gandolfini). The movie is smart, funny, and loaded with crisp dialog, but I can't see it getting any traction for an Oscar nomination.

It plays like a bitchy British West Wing crossed with Catch-22, but as fun as that sounds, it's too smart and not nearly showy enough for an Oscar nomination. And surprisingly, I don't mean that as a criticism of either the Oscars OR of the movie. It just is.

Normally I wouldn't expect a movie like Extract to have anything remotely close to even darkhorse odds at an Oscar nomination, but writer/director Mike Judge's first movie, Office Space, has become something of a contemporary classic, and I read reviews about how good Ben Affleck is in it (and I'm looking for a surprise in the Supporting Actor race). I mean, I rented it because it looked funny, but I'm writing it up because I thought it might have a really dark darkhorse shot at Original Screenplay or Supporting Actor. It doesn't. Funny. A little predictable. But ultimately pretty good. Well worth $1. Happily not the $25 I paid for Up (accidentally).

There's no free brunch

I was instructed by a boss-type to expense a "nice dinner" this weekend to thank me for some sweat equity I've been putting in on a project, and somehow brunch at Francis sounded like a perfect option. It's my favorite brunch place for two simple reasons.

1. They serve cocktails in Mason jars. On the left below is Uncle Beauregard which contains espresso, coffee liqueur, cream and Scotch. On the right is the Francis Sunrise which contains Yukon Jack whiskey, orange juice and grenadine--and since I've had a cold I'm sure you'll agree that Vitamin C was absolutely in order.


2. The menu, while fancy, is really built on the sound basics of Waffle House. It's waffle haute cuisine, if you will. I confirmed this once, when chatting with the owner Christopher. You can get hash browns scattered, smothered, and/or covered, the menu just uses slightly different terms (the current menu does--the old menu uses those terms verbatim). Today's specials included a little thing called chicken fried bacon (below)--4 pieces of bacon, chicken fried with 2 poached eggs and sausage gravy. You don't get to look like me by eating right and exercising every day.


So, theoretically interesting, but executionally not so great. First, there's a big difference "chicken fried" and "beer battered" and the coating was more like that of onion rings. Also, the bacon probably needed a head-start cooking-wise (I think it was cooked like onion rings would have been, instead of how fried chicken would have been)--I like my bacon a little more, what's the word, done. Anyway, a rare miss at what is still one of my favorite brunch places in Portland (a town with a lot of great brunch places).

The punch line is that, with a full Mason jar of Francis Sunrise in me, I actually put Clark's phone number on the receipt for the cute little waiter dude he'd been making eyes at all through lunch... and I paid with my company credit card.

I don't expect my accounting peeps to see "my friend thinks you're hot, call him" at the bottom of a receipt copy, but naturally this is exactly the kind of thing that WILL randomly come up at some point, after an audit or something.

I'll let you know if he calls Clark.

And by the way, brunch may have been expensed, but it was NOT free... I had to work for it.

Happy birthday Gunther

I think I'm late by a day, but the problem is I've never been sure on when his birthday actually is. This is a common issue for me (further confounded by the fact that Becky's anniversary is the day that I think is her birthday). So don't take it personally dude. Also work=teh suck so belated is relatively prompt for me.

Here's a Gunther mid/late-80s megamix-ish thing.

(Sorry I can't embed the proper video here)




If I could mix these together I would:



Which isn't to suggest that life was all Stock/Aitken/Waterman music. But, you know, 1988 was 1988...

Then there was our Spring Break trip to Miami which randomly and happily allowed us to see Wham! in concert. Which also, kinda, makes us old. But whatev bitches, we saw Wham! And friends!




And because he's the only one who loves Alison Moyet as much as me, I leave y'all with her.


Happy birthday dude! Sorry it's late (if it is)... rock on!

Happy birthday Aaron Neville

Aaron has been recording for 50 years now--his first single in 1960, his first full album in 1965, and his first hit single, "Tell it Like it Is" in 1966:


Here he is with his brothers and guest John Hiatt, doing the title track to 1989's Yellow Moon, and Tim McGraw, if you're still reading, this would make a fantastic song for you to cover!


The other song I want to share from Yellow Rose is their tribute to Rosa Parks, "Sister Rosa."


I think he's best known these days for duets with the remarkable Linda Ronstadt. Here's their first Grammy-winning pairing.


And finally the most recent track I can find for him, from 2006.


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the day: "The Ballad of Rush Limbaugh"


Nona Hendryx, bitches! Respect!

Click here to open Nona's page and click on the player to the right to hear the song.


Bear with me on this one, it's worth it. My beloved Nona Hendryx didn't take kindly to the words of Rush Limbaugh in the wake of a massive, tragic earthquake that devastated Haiti. I didn't either. I expressed my disdain here and here.

Nona took it a little further, and recorded a song for him. And you can hear that song here. And you SHOULD go there and listen (sorry I can't embed something). Nona is fantastic, she has a rich history of R&B, funk, rock and alternative music, and if I've ever made you a dance music mix tape/CD, you have one of her songs. Read all about her here, or call me. (The coolest I've ever looked in front of record label types was recognizing a cover of Nona's "Ghost Love" that the band Big Pig did as as an encore--the singer was surprised anyone knew the song.)


As best as I could transcribe them, here are her lyrics--please add/correct in comments!
"The Ballad of Rush Limbaugh", lyrics by Nona Hendryx, music by Nona Hendryx & Felicia Collins (I think)
The man in the radio can hardly catch his breath

Describing my plight
Prescribing my death

His voice is disgust
Spewing hate and mistrust
He feels he's above the law
This is the ballad of Rush Limbaugh

The native son of a lawyer from the "Show Me" state
He rose to speak to infamy and hate
For with a silver spoon on a feather bed
A river of ??? running through his head
He thinks he's above the law
This is the ballad of Rush Limbaugh

Every woman he took to the altar
Maxine, Michelle, and Marta
Have cut their ties
Was it the sex, the drugs or the lies

You point your finger saying what you would do
Lie to the fingers pointing back at you
In your house made of glass
In your limo that carries your ass
You think you're the law
This is the ballad of Rush Limbaugh

You chose your airwaves to spread your disease
To kick the people already down on their knees
The crime was praying for relief
After centuries of rape by ??
? a wound still raw
This is the ballad of Rush Limbaugh

In hour house made of glass
In the limo carrying you ass
You think you're the law
This is the ballad of Rush Limbaugh

The undereducated mass
Always from the lower class
Cant ?
I believe what the  old folks say
"Every dog has its day"
There's no free lunch here
One day you will pay