Saturday, January 16, 2010

Happy birthday Sade Adu

As Gunther so nicely noted, it's pronounced Shar-day bitches (wait, did he say "bitches"?), the singer of Sade, winner of 3 Grammy awards (so far), one in each decade of the 80s, 90s and 00s. And a new album is out soon, just in time for a new decade... just saying.

I saw them live once, at the Fox in Atlanta, which is kinda the perfect city for them. A group business trip to Atlanta had us on in a big van into the city and whatever "quiet storm" radio station they put on that night had Sade on. I don't think it also had Anita Baker, but it might have, but that would probably just have been a little too perfect. Anyway, impressive live, since my expectations were kinda low. Heavy on style, but they seems a little flimsy musically... or so my expectation went. In fact, they were solid, and her voice is impressive. (Dionne Warwick has a voice that's easy to under-estimate too.)

Here they are live, from Live Aid 25 years ago.



And a couple of non-Live Aid live tracks.


Looking forward to the new album!

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

An open letter to Pat Robertson from Satan

(h/t to Roger Ebert via Twitter--written by Lily Coyle of Minneapolis, published in the Star Tribune)

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake.

Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,
Satan

Did someone say discreet?!!!!

Discreet!!!

Dear Sir/Madam

I am Dr. Andrew Eze,and i seek a business partner in a very discreet and profitable business deal involving the sum of sixteen million ($16,000.000:00) dollars which will be very financially rewarding to us.

If you are interested in this transaction please indicate your interest by replying this mail stating your;
NAME:
ADDRESS:
OCCUPATION:
AGE:
TELEPHONE NUMBERS:
to this email address: DELETED@mail.kz, and I will immediately forward details of this transaction to you.

Yours Sincerely,

Andrew Eze

Happy birthday Debbie Allen

She's the punchline to just about every snarky remark about cheesy awards show production numbers (all of them that don't include Rob Lowe and Snow White), but let's cut her a break today and point out that, at age 60 she represents a somewhat rare bird: a woman of color over the age of 40 with almost A-list name recognition (don't believe me--ask 3 people this weekend if they know who "Debbie Allen" is... all 3 of them will kinda know... THAT'S almost A-list).

She has 3 Emmys (with an additional 15 nominations) and 2 Tony nominations (plus a Drama Desk award win), and a bunch of Image Awards (which are like World's Greatest Grandpa mugs--there are plenty to go around).

She's been performing for 40 years now, but you only think about her in Fame, the TV show, don't you? Here she is in a revival of West Side Story.


Here she is with Gregory Hines in one of those (cough) beloved production numbers from the Oscars in the early 80s with my favorite Oscars host, Johnny Carson.


And finally, because I don't have a way to wrap this up, here's a fan video made for her. It's a hot mess of clips which is, in a way, a fan-made production number FOR HER. Take that Debbie Allen.


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Happy birthday Ethel Merman

Her dress in this clip makes me crave wedding cake.






I think my love for her (and her Disco album) is well documented here. Today is her 102nd birthday. Here she is with Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand (or as gay men call it OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).



I didn't realize that she sang for Ronald Reagan at his first inauguration which makes Ethel Merman to Ronald Reagan as Aretha Franklin is to Barack Obama, or in SAT terms:


Ethel : Ronald as Aretha : Barack


Also she appears to have been styled by the people who did Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters.



Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace!

Song of the day: "Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart"

Alicia Keys is a real talent. I'm not 100% sold on the style of music, but let's be honest, the girl is a true prodigy, she's racked up a dozen Grammys, 3 multiplatinum smash albums (her 4th is probably there by now), and an array of other accolades... all by the age of 28. And it wasn't because she's Quincy Jones's step-daughter or Luther Vandross's niece (no nepotism at all--purely talent and hard work, if you can stand it).

The video for this song caught my attention because 1) I didn't recognize her (I think I have some dysfunction with facial recognition, which explains my whole "bad with names" things), 2) it seems to be a melange of 4 storyboards that they just crammed into a single video, and 3) one of the storyboards involves what looks like the use of superpowers and spandex. Rather than subject you to that, just listen to this version. It will help you appreciate the song better.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sweet doggies

 
 

Another $10.5 million for me... sweet

Attention: 

My name is Alex Smith, May I inform you that an amount of $10.5 Million will be approved on your name as the beneficiary? You will either receive this amount in cash delivery in your door step or through a bank wire transfer.

For the purpose of clarification, Please send your Full Names, Direct Telephone Numbers physical address. More details as regards to the %  will be given upon your reply. 

Your quick response will be highly appreciated.

Alex Smith.

The subject says Reply!!!

And you guys know I'm a sucker for exlamation points in the subject line!!!

This message will be the last notification that I will send to you as my earlier letters to you through Post Office was returned undelivered. Hence I decided to reach you via email as this information needs urgent attention.

How are you doing? I would like to introduce you to my bank to assist me in the transfer of funds as the next of kin of my client who died in 2004. The management of my bank has issued me a notice to provide a next of kin of the deceased or have the account confiscated within the next 14 banking days.

I am the Telex Department Manager of my bank and also the Personal Account Officer to the deceased. I will be disappointed if the labors  my deceased client is confiscated.

If you are interested, do get back to me with your full names, address and phone number(s) for easy communication.

Regards,
Michael Honner

A lethal mixture

In case you're not completely up to speed on the saga of my two Denver escapee dogs, I have two dogs that were previously on death row in Denver because Denver's Animal Control "experts" decided they were both Pit-bulls and by being Pit-bulls they were deadly. Because, and this isn't my logic, but I think everyone knows this to be true, every Pit-bull that's ever lived has killed (or attacked) a human.

Now it is true that Pit-bulls have attacked humans. It is also true that German Shepherds have attacked humans. And Rottweilers. And Golden Retrievers. And Chows. And Pommeranians (however they are spelled). Basically every dog breed has attacked a human. But if you watch the news, it's ONLY Pit-bulls. Even when the pictures of the dog show a completely different type of dog (or, in some cases, a chair), it's still a Pit-bull. Luckily for us, today's news isn't bothered by facts or by reporting or by the need to correct shit. Today's news is about talking to people who live NEAR an incident and asking them how they feel about that incident. And 99% of them say the same thing: "It makes you think." Yeah, no shit? What made you stop thinking before this happened?

Back to my dogs. Denver has killed THOUSANDS of family pets and in doing that, they've actually suffered more reported dog bites in the city, but I'm not saying those 2 items are retardedly related. I am saying that particular law is fucked, and the way it's being implemented is like fucked to the power of 4 (which is fucked x fucked x fucked x fucked if you're not mathematically inclined).

Anyway, Willy, the deadly male of my pack, contributed a DNA sample so we could see how much deadly Pit-bull he has in his deadly deadly body. (Click image to embiggen.)

















Hey look, he's part Dalmatian (that explains his coloring). That's not on the list of breeds banned in Denver.

Hey look, he's part English Cocker Spaniel (that explains his "crazy"). That's not on the list either.

Gosh, if Denver had gone through and killed him they would have been executing an innocent dog. I'm sure it's just an isolated incident though, because the Denver Animal Control "experts" go through rigorous training have a meaningless form they can fill out. Hooray.

P.S. I adopted two dogs out of Denver because there are a shitload of these dogs in shelters outside the city to keep them alive and that whole infrastructure is just overwhelmed. And not because I'm a top secret dog fighter who is building an army. Cause let me tell you, Willy is a wimp and is not gonna take anyone down.

Colbert on the bankers and financial crisis

This is kinda timely for me this week. Sadly.
The Word - Honor Bound
The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorEconomy

Happy birthday Andrea Martin

Amazing talent.





Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Happy birthday Martin

His observed birthday is the 3rd Monday in January, but his actual birthday is today. This is his last speech. It's easy to trivialize who he was and what he did, but it was a lot (in both cases).

Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

Happy birthday Rob

My friend who works at Penn that I am way lax about keeping up with. There are a billions songs I could pick for him, but for some reason Red House Painters stick out as a band he liked and I just didn't get, back when we lived in Dallas back in the 90s.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Happy birthday John

It's nice to have a Glinda to guide my ass through my Elphie life.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

Song of the day: "Silvia"

Another track from Miike Snow (with 2 "i"s)--it's a band, not a guy. Please tell that to the YRock DJs who love "him." Maybe he can marry Catherine Wheel.

Quote of the day

"Everything this president sees is a political opportunity, including Haiti, and he will use it to burnish his credentials with minorities in this country and around the world, and to accuse Republicans of having no compassion."--Outrageous racist, pegging enthusiast, and prescription pain-killer addict Rush Limbaugh

Yes, everything Obama sees is an opportunity to burnish his credentials with his audience... Project much Rush? I'll wait until you come off this particular binge to answer.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Funny, funny stuff

The scam emails I get and post here are called 419 Scams (or advance-fee fraud) because of the Nigerian criminal code # associated with fraud. I have a 419 scam label at the bottom of my posts and post what I get every few days (if you click it you will see the rich and varied history of the scams I receive, and the dizzying amount of correspondence I've gotten from FBI Director Robert Mueller).

Basically, ultimately, these guys want my help to get some insane amount of cash out of their country, and usually all they need is a few hundred $ to make it work.

Anyway, there are folks who take pleasure in engaging these scammers more deeply. I've played around a little, but never more than 2 or 3 replies. But this, this is a work of art. Read it here. It involves a scholarship for small wooden figurine carvings, an address on Krotchless Road, and a tragic auto accident. Take a few minutes and enjoy!

And finally (3rd of 3 scams)

Dear Sir/Madam

I have been waiting for you since to come down here and pick your Bank Draft but did not heard from you since that time then I went and deposited the Draft with OCEANIC BANK PLC here in Benin Republic, because I travelled to Japan to see my boss and will not come back till next month end. I have arranged with them to make your payment to you with their new ATM MASTER CARD $7.5million us dollras which you can use to withdraw your money in any ATM MACHINE around the globe. You have to contact the International Bank Plc with your full contact informations such as follows.

1. YOUR FULL NAME......
2. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
3 PHONE /CELL PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. ATTACH COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION

However, Kindly contact the below person who is in position to release YOUR ATM CARD.

CONTACT PERSON: DR. BANKOLE WILLIAMS
DIRECTOR ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT INTERNATIONL BANK
MOBILE: +229 97 496 332
EMAIL officecontact@pravda.ru
www.oceanicbankplc.here.ws

I have paid for the processing and delivery charges.The only Money that your are going to pay to them is only $86 Dollars which they will use to obtain the Affidavit Of Onwership from the Federal High Court Of Benin Republic. So Try to contact them and ask them how you will send the $86 to receive your atm card,please do urgent and contact them as soon as possible to quicken the processing of your card before your draft gets Expired , Let me know as soon as you receive your Atm Card worth of $7.5million us dollars.

Thanks
Mr. Phillip David

My parecel (2nd of 3 scams)

These are unrelated scams, by the way. It just appears that Thursday is a popular day for scam emails!

YOUR PARCEL IS REGISTERED WITH US: THE FEDERAL COURIERS SERVICE.

CALL URGENTLY: +2348089694388

Dear: Valueable Customer

Email: fedexcourier.del@sify.com

RE: CLAIM NOTIFICATION.

This is to notify you that your parcel is still in our possession which contains the sum of $2 million dollars and is among the 24 parcel listed which is now in our office and also with your name as the receiver despite that we lost your private residential address, which is an indication that you can now re-send your residential address, telephone as stated above back to
the Federal company where your parcel can be delivered to you without hesitation with this e-mail: (DELETED@sify.com)

Meanwhile, before the delivery will take place, you are advice to reconfirm to us the following data.

Your Name in Full:

Delivery Address:

And your contact phone number:

The above requested informations will enable us deliver your parcel correctly without any mistake.

Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel your fiduciary agent still owes this company the sum of $105 before he Travel all the way to Amsterdam for bussiness research as he informed this company, Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your sender since
we have lost his contact via western union so that your parcel can be delivered to your residential address before it accumulate a dumerrage after one week, as you know your parcel is
not just an ordinary Envelop but a financial Document.

We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your country in two days time and it will get to your door step the third day as soon as this company receive the balance left by your sender, and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately for you to
track your parcel online then know when it will get to your door-step.

YOU ARE TO PROCEED TO THE WESTERN UNION AND MAKE THE PAYMENT VIA WESTERN UNION WITH THE BELOW
INFORMATION:

RECEIVERS NAME------EDACHE GODWIN
RECEIVERS COUNTRY----ABUJA, NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION------------ IN GOD?.
TEXT ANSWER--------------- WE TRUST.
AMOUNT TO BE PAID --------- $105
AND ALSO WITH THE MTCN NUMBER.

Please you have to send the full payment information including the MTCN Number for we to fully proceed on your delivery

OUR DELIVERY WILL MEET YOU AT YOUR DOOR-STEP.

THANKS,
Yours faithfully,
Mr.John Bully.
Customer Service Department.

The Mystery America (first of 3 scams)

SUBJECT: Mystery Shopper Wanted

ABOUT US: Mystery America is a market research company, we use Mystery shopping or Mystery Consumer to measure
quality of retail service or gather specific information about products and services. We work with some of the largest,reputable businesses in the world; from fast food to petroleum, technology or fashion retailers and more.
POSITION TITLE: Mystery Shopping
AVAILABILITY: OPEN
START DATE: Immediate
COMMISSION PER ASSIGNMENT: $200

JOB DESCRIPTION: You will be required to conduct an all expenses paid surveys and evaluation exercises on behalf of Mystery America. Your job will be to evaluate and measure quality of retail service or gather specific information about products and services.

As our mystery shopper posing as normal customers, you will expected to perform specific tasks such as purchasing a product or using a service.

DUTIES & RESPONSIBILITIES: You will be hired to evaluate and audit other firms and corporate bodies by fronting as potential customers in order to determine the level of professionalism and expertise with which staff relates with their clients.

We presently have a couple of outstanding contracts, which means you will be directed to the outlets you are to survey by either purchasing products or services or simply meeting with customer service and make inquiries in person.

You will be directed to outlets, firms and corporate bodies to report on their staff's activities by forwarding us a mail with a record of your experiences such as:

1) The product & services paid for.
2) How long it took before you were attended to.
3) How the attendants and employees related with you.
4) Customer service professionalism level

PLEASE NOTE: You will be provided funds in form of checks and wire transactions in advance of any survey to cover
expenses.

You do not require any special skills for this opening, however in order to apply for this job you MUST ensure you have access to your E-mails two (2) times a day and must READ and RESPOND to all notifications within 18-24hrs.
MYSTERY SHOPPER APPLICATION: If you would like to Mystery Shop for us, please complete the following form. Required
fields are indicated in red. You must answer these so we can process your request and accept you as a possible shopper.

Full Names:
Address Line 1:
Address Line 2:
City:
State:
Age:
Zip Code:
Home Phone Number:
Cell / Mobile Phone Number:
Sex:
Current Occupation:
Drivers License / TIN No: ( To Verify Identity)
Have you had any previous expertise in surveying:

ALL APPLICATIONS SHOULD BE SENT TO: DELETED@gala.net

Communications & Human Resources Center, USA.
1211, Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036
Email: DELETED@gala.net

To ensure that you can receive email messages from the Mystery America, do add "gmail" to your Sender Safe List, or contact your IT administrator to update your firm's email software.

©2006-2009 The Mystery America, 1211 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10036.

Flashback song: "Love and Pride"

Dude from Travis sang this to me on an elevator in Toronto when I thought he said "King" opened for them (it was Keane). Rejoice in this 25-year old song!

King - Love and Pride - MyVideo

What about Chaucer?

It's also Carl Weathers's birthday, and I can't find any of his "how to milk your per diem" scenes (aka "get your stew on") from Arrested Development, so enjoy this scene with guest star Ben Stiller.

Happy birthday Faye Dunaway

The phrase "hot mess" came too late for your career. But for what's left of it, it applies. Here are some clips.




And watch her in her Oscar winning performance. Just change "Howard Beale" to "Glenn Beck" and understand better how prescient Network was.

[UPDATE: It should tell you something that it didn't even occur to me to include Chinatown.]


Happy birthday you hot mess you! Rock on!

A tribute to the evil sick fuck known as Pat Robertson



More funny e-cards at someecards.com.

Song of the day: "Lady GAGA"

The song's NAME is "Lady GAGA" and the band is AKORD. It's their attempt to be the Moldovan entry into the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest (details here). Which is a big deal, in Europe.

Which is a place that's NOT in the USA. Or so I'm told. Sarah Palin's never been. Or if she has, it's only been since August 2008 when the McCain campaigned rushed her ass on the road so as not to seem the complete yokel dumbass rube that she really is (see also: George W. Bush).

They don't even have tea party protesters there, and they are ALREADY socialist. You can hear it in this song.

Mrs. Gloria Mayo needs some Ambien

Mrs. Gloria Mayo
Johannesburg, South Africa
 
   URGENT ASSISTANCE FOR THE FAMILY
 
Please do not be offended with me for contacting you without seeking for your permission and I know it will sound so strange to you in every of the details am to unveil to you due to the bottlenecks and rigidities attendant to internet business transaction more especially when we have not seen nor met each other for the first time. As per how your contact came to me, I was opportune to have your esteemed information from South Africa Information Exchange (S.A.I.E.), in my search for a reliable person to handle this very confidential transaction that involves a transfer of fund to a foreign account.

My sleepless night is nothing but how I could transfer my late husband's fund amounting to US$25.5 Million (Twenty-Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) out of South Africa for a safe and better investment abroad. I am Mrs. Gloria Mayo, the wife of late comrade Dr. Peter Mayo. My husband was the former Zimbabwean Minister for youth, gender and Employment creation. While alive, my husband stood against seizure of white farms and the distribution of it to the blacks without compensation to the white owners.

 
Because of my husband's sincerity, he was killed by a planned motor accident along Harare-Masvingo Road near Mvuma Province of Zimbabwe. Before his untimely death, my husband told me some few weeks earlier that he kept one diplomatic box with a private finance and Security Company in Johannesburg, South Africa which contains US$25.5 Million (Twenty-Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars). He warned that he only declared the contents of the diplomatic box to the Security Company as a family treasure/ values, with insurance values of the said amount.. The original document that shows the Deed of lodge, Proof of Deposit, and Depository Agreement between my late husband and the Management of the Security Company was kept with the reputable South African Lawyer.
 
Because of South African Financial Law, which bared asylum seekers/ refugees like us from operating an account that exceed US$1000 and fear of the amount involved, I decided to write to you to seek your help for this money to be transferred into your company's or personal bank account while all arrangements for a hitch free transfer have been fully taken care of.
 
I am therefore praying you to help me and my only son out of this predicament by assisting us transfer this sum into a reliable foreign account where we can comfortably lay claim to it because this situation is making me hypertensive in that sometimes I find it difficult to sleep, As for your reward for this vicarious assistance, we are ready to offer you 30% of the total sum while 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred in the course of the transaction even if it demands a written agreement. We will appreciate your earliest response as to know our faith in this regard.
You can always contact me through DELETED@gmail.com  as we are always having communication problem here in the refugee camp and that makes it impossible for us to Communicate with phone regularly, you can as well try us with the number below  
 
God bless you and your family while waiting to hear from you urgently.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Gloria Mayo & Son (Charles Mayo)
DELETED@gmail.com
+27-732801289

Understanding Rush Limbaugh

So yesterday, Rush took time to contrast Barack HUSSEIN Obama's response to the devastating earthquake in Haiti with his response to the attempted bombing on Christmas Day--for anyone keeping track, deaths in Haiti are estimated in the hundreds of thousands and the cause of the problem is abundantly clear, while deaths on Christmas Day from the attempted bombing are in the zeroes and the cause of the problem required some digging.  And even still, Obama's response took 1/3 the time the George W. Bush took with the attempted shoe bombing earlier, a situation that is EXACTLY THE SAME.

According to Rush, Obama was speaking up eagerly about Haiti because it would help boost his standing with the light- and dark-skinned "negro" community (well, I cleaned up what he was implying a little there).

And I thought about it, thinking that even the great Rush Limbaugh could not be so fucking cynical. Then I dug around, and it turns out I am right: he doesn't believe that. But his contract specifies that when he says outrageous shit (whether he believes it or not) that gets people talking, his company will pay a day-shift hooker to fuck him in the ass with a strap-on dildo while he snorts a mixture of 2 Oxycontins and 1 Ritalin. And that's for every day he gets people talking (but only 1 per day, because there are only so many pills in the world).

And if you find that outrageous and untruthful, then ask yourself what's in MY blogging contract... it's good, but you gotta talk about my assertions. And I said "Rush gets fucked with a strap-on dildo." Do NOT forget the hyphen.

Hugs!

R.I.P. Teddy Pendergrass

Nearly 3 decades after he was paralyzed in a car crash, Teddy passed away, leaving a legacy of great music.

Rest in peace dude.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Happy birthday Robert Stack

I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue, so enjoy these clips from the classic Airplane! Grace is barking back to the dog in the first scene.

Happy birthday dude! Rest in peace.

Helping Haiti

Donate money to Mercy Corps to help in Haiti here.


More than half a million people are estimated to have been killed and millions more are injured and/or displaced. The entire country's infrastructure is unable to cope.


And an open note to Pat Robertson: an actual Christian would take this opportunity to pray and try to help. Blaming the victims is just sick as fuck.

As fuck.

Finally, a new scam!

I'd grown disaffected with the quality of my scams. And I'll just assume this is a scam, since otherwise why would there be an unsolicited email about adopting a dog from someone who even remotely cares about dogs. That's just fucking retarded. Sadly the email peters out near the end, so I'm sure the whole "hey, could you pay for shipping" or even better "let's split the shipping fee" or something like that. Anyway, hooray for a new scam!!!

SUBJECT: Little Yorkie for Adoption

Hello ,

How are you today? I hope great. My name is Jessica Fawton and I am a consultant gynecologist surgeon and oncologist doctor, I work for different prominent hospital's. The reason why I am e-mailing you is because me and my husband are giving out this little puppy for free (Adoption), This little girl weighs 1.3Lbs at 9 weeks old & should be 3Lbs when full grown only.

She is very friendly with children she fit in both Palm of your hands. She is AKC/CERF registered puppy. Adorable and sociable with great Personalities and very good bloodlines. She is vet-checked, up to date on shots and deforming, and are health is guaranteed. Recently checked by a licensed Vet Doctor for heart, knees, skin, correct bite, and eyes. Bottom and straight sides and tender, she is A.K.C and CERF registered and shots are given up to date. She will come along with Travel crate, AKC/CERF Registered Papers, Toys and Birth Certificate , I used to live in Dallas, TX with my husband but after my son's death, me and my husband moved to Africa due to our work and we have the puppy right here with us. The Yorkie puppy will become new member of your family, she is sweet and you will continue to love, we really don't have much time to take care of her any more and that's the reason why we are giving her up for free. You have to promise me that you will take good care of he!
r as she will be a New family memb

Thanks,

Mrs. Jessica Fawton

Song of the day: "Amazing Grace"

Boy George gives music a shot again, for the first time in a long fucking time.  Long.


2010: Boy George ft Ana Lains - Amazing Grace from ladypat on Vimeo.

John rocks the cut-off shorts


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

And this looks promising

I held a key position as Greenwich lottery data base administrator. I was unjustly dismissed without a single benefit because of minor issues. The good side is that there's something I know, they don't know - Their lucky winning numbers and Ticket Numbers; but I can't play nor claim with my name for obvious reasons.

Some of The jackpots and instant play have reached as high as 40 million pounds, I can't afford to let go. Here is the deal: I buy the tickets and have you play in your name with the lucky numbers and ticket numbers I am going to supply you and we share the winning 50%/50%.

Please get back to me ASAP on (DELETED@gmail.com)if you are interested, if not, just ignore this email.

PAUL MORGAN

This just in from Central Bank

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO RE-COMFIRM YOUR INFORMATION TO AVOID ANY WRONG DELIVER OF YOUR FUND PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKE IN YOUR ADDRESS AND THIS TRANSCATION MUST CONCLUDE BY THIS WEEK BECAUSE EVERY ARRANGEMENT HAS BEEN MADE CONCERNING YOUR FUND WHICH IS ABOUT $10.7M ONLY VIA DIPLOMAT COURIER SERVICE. BELOW IS NEEDED. 1) FULL NAME 2),HOME ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND IT 3),DIRECT PHONE/OFFICE.4), AGE/ACCUPATION.

DR. SANUSI LAMIDO
C.B.N.GOVERNOR

From the "no duh" file


I mean, I fucking hate Leno. He's still making Monica Lewinsky and Brokeback Mountain jokes (cause, you know, they were GAY COWBOYS har har har). And NBC wonders why his ratings sucked at 10:00 p.m.

This should save everyone a lot of time

(Click file to embiggen)

What's amazing is I got this email from 3 different people

The writing sounds like a version of a European speaking English as portrayed on Family Guy.

SUBJECT: "Well okay"

He also told me about that online pharmacy store last night. At first i did not care but then i noticed that the prices are really much lower comparing to the store down the street. I think it is time to shop online for medicines needs because i dont want to waste % 50 more money for the same thing. I also suggest you to take a look if you want to get more for the same amount of cash.
Yours sincerely

LINK DELETED

Flashback song: "Stoned Out Of My Mind"

The Chi-Lites from 1973.


And The Jam from 1982, unless Eric corrects me (but I think I'm right).

The periodic table entry for unobtanium



[UPDATE: Apparently there's a rich tradition for the term "unobtanium"--see more here.]

Gone Galt yet?

So has someone gone off and created a John Galt utopia yet? I mean, it's been a year of oppressive socialism and Nazi stuff, so where are the Libertarians? Is it Montana? Mexico? Part of Canada? What geography did they pick to start their new ultra-creative commune thingy. I'm sure the free market there is kicking some ass.

Song of the day: "I Start To Run"

By White Denim. It's a few months old and didn't warrant "single of the year" status, but I wanted to include it before it gets too old.

Knee. Grow.

I can count on zero hands the number of Republicans who are currently indignant over Harry Reid and who ALSO had issues with "Barack the Magic Negro" as played by Rush Limbaugh. Just saying...

But thanks to Colbert for all the perspective we need.
Harry Reid's Racist Comment
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Monday, January 11, 2010

Happy birthday Mary J. Blige

One of the most memorable performances from the past 10 years of Grammys.


Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

It's like they're not even trying...

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

I am compelled to write you in respect of your fund remittance, which transfer has remained unsuccessful. Your fund is presently today being investigated on your payment file and reason why your own fund of $7.5 million has been delayed.

Please are you still alive? Did you sign any DEED OF ASSIGNMENT in your favour of this (MR.JOHN WHEELER) to receive your fund?

Re-confirm to us immediately and receive your over due approved payment fund Upon your reply, I shall give you full details of your payment (Details available with me). As this Investigation Bureau Office has endorsed that the actual time for the final accomplishment of your fund is now.

MRS. FARIDA V.M WAZIRI: (Chairman) Economic And Financial Crime Commission (E.F.C.C INVESTIGATION)

I am a sucker for "!" in a subject line!!!

SUBJECT: CONTRACT!

HELLO,

I'm William Colgate II, a representative of ExxonMobil in London (http:
//www.exxonmobil.com) with a private brief to re-profile funds amounting to
$12.2M.

Regards,

William Colgate II

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Quote of the day

"I think the Internet comment boards used to be funnier 10 years ago, so I've stopped reading them."--Matt Warburton, Producer of The Simpsons

The final list of 2009 singles: #10 through #1



10. Taylor Swift "You Belong With Me"
9. Metric "Gimmee Sympathy"
8. Phoenix "Lisztomania"
7. Julian Casablancas "11th Dimension"
6. Miley Cyrus "Party in the U.S.A."
5. Ladyhawke "My Delirium"
4. Camera Obscura "Honey in the Sun"
3. Wilco "You Never Know"
2. Neko Case "This Tornado Loves You"
1. David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland "When Love Takes Over"

The final list of 2009 singles: #20 through #11



20. Pearl Jam "The Fixer"
19. Bad Lieutenant "Sink Or Swim"
18. Of Montreal "An Eluardian Instance"
17. Girls "Lust For Life"
16. Pet Shop Boys "Did You See Me Coming"
15. Julian Plenti "Games For Days"
14. Owl City "Fireflies"
13. Noisettes "Never Forget You"
12. Japandroids "Wet Hair"
11. Weezer "If You're Wondering If I Want You To (I Want You To)"

The final list of 2009 singles: #30 through #21



30. The Cribs "Cheat On Me"
29. Yo La Tengo "Nothing To Hide"
28. Gordon Gano & The Ryans "Man In The Sand"
27. Mutemath "The Nerve"
26. Data Rock "True Stories"
25. Spinnerette "All Babes Are Wolves"
24. Jay Sean "Down"
23. Super Furry Animals "Inaugural Trams"
22. Modest Mouse "Satellite Skin"
21. Miike Snow "Animal"

The final list of 2009 singles: #40 through #31



40. Harlem Shakes "Sunlight"
39. The Avett Brothers "I and Love and You"
38. Young Fresh Fellows "Lamp Industries"
37. Dinosaur Jr. "I want You To Know"
36. Miniature Tigers "Cannibal Queen"
35. Passion Pit "The Reeling"
34. The Ravonettes "The Last Dance
33. Asher Roth "I Love College"
32. The Killers "Spaceman"
31. Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Heads Will Roll"

The final list of 2009 singles: #50 through #41


50. Cursive "From the Hips
49. Morrissey "Something is Squeezing My Skull"
48. Echo & the Bunnymen "Think I Need It Too"
47. God Help the Girl "Funny Little Frog"
46. Rancid "Last One to Die"
45. Dirty Projectors "Stillness is the Move"
44. Imogen Heap "First Train Home"
43. The Rifles "The Great Escape"
42. Green Day "21 Guns"
41. Portugal. The Man "People Say"

More Bowie: "Absolute Beginners"

From the movie of the same name, circa 1986. See also that Style Council thing from a week or so ago...

Flashback songs: "Maggie May"/"I'll Never Be Your Maggie May"

It's Rod's birthday, so I'm reaching way back before he was a hack.


And Suzanne Vega's response, from Songs In Red And Gray.

Follow-up on Avatar

(h/t to Erica)

I'd heard "Pochahontas in Space" as a summary of Avatar (although the "Dances With Smurfs" recap from South Park was pretty good as well). This summary from the failblog (here) does cover things--click to embiggen.

More Bowie: A tribute by Flight of the Conchords

Notes on Avatar

Wow. Intense. I highly recommend seeing at a theater with comfortable seating, like Vancouver's Cinetopia. I do NOT recommend 3 beers before/during the movie (but if you do have 3 beers, the aisle seat is recommended).

Oscar odds: a lock on nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Visual Effects, Best Sound and Best Sound Effects Editing.

A strong shot at nominations for Original Score, and Editing.

Interesting to me that things seem less and less certain outside some core nominations.

Soft shots at nominations for Original Screenplay (the absolute weakest aspect of the movie), Supporting Actress (Signourney Weaver) [I feel like there's an open slot among the Supporting Actress candidates and Weaver's a reasonable contender], and Original Song (its end credits placement weakens its changes I think).

Dark horse possibilities for Supporting Actor (Steven Lang) [I remain convinced that Supporting Actor has a surprise coming] and Art Direction (I don't know here).

I can't see it getting an nomination for Costumes. I've also read some fanboys go on about Zoe Saldana as Best Actress. I can't see that either.

Oh yeah, big/good/interesting 3-hour event. Not sure, as a movie.

Happy birthday Shawn Colvin

I didn't get her until I won tickets and saw her live (thank you KERA in Dallas). So here are a few examples of that.









And she's Rachel Jordan, the Christian singer who occasionally romances Ned Flanders on The Simpsons.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

More Bowie: "Loving The Alien"

Song of the day: "TiK ToK"

Don't expect me to spell her name.