Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Rosalynn Carter

If President Jimmy Carter is truly History's Greatest Monster* then Rosalynn was his  "Worst Lady" (see, that's a pun on "First Lady"--did you get it?). The Carters, of course, conspired to lead the country into an unprovoked war that was described in trivial terms ("weeks not months") initially but ended up being insanely protracted and expensive despite being un-budgeted. And they destroyed Constitutional rights left and right by ignoring habeus corpus and illegally wiretapping citizens in direct violation of FISA laws. They authorized torture for fuck sake. They tortured.

Oh, except they didn't. That was someone else. Who was it? Oh, I'll never come up with the name.

Anyway, Rosalynn Carter has been a wonderfully dedicated public servant, next to her wonderful husband, for nearly 50 years. America needs to turn off Glenn Beck and do its own fucking research for a change, and maybe they'll see what an angel Carter is.

How many of her high school boyfriends did she kill? None (that's Laura Bush).

How much did she spend to redecorate the White House? Nothing (that's Nancy Reagan). In fact, Rosalynn is so unassuming that for Jimmy's 1976 inauguration, she used the same dress she wore 6 years earlier for his gubernatorial inauguration in Atlanta. I know, what a bitch!

But on her own, Carter has been a strong and dedicated advocate for assistance for the mentally ill and their families, for more than 30 years. She is an Honorary Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and a board member emeritus of the National Mental Health Association. As an undergraduate she wrote a notorious "kill whitey" term paper using her maiden name so as not to embarrass.... oh, you know what, that's Michelle Obama. That video is coming any day now; FOX News totally has it, I've been assured. When it comes out it will scandalize the voters and totally turn the tide of the 2008 elections.

The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving is based at Georgia Southwestern State University in Americus, Georgia. I don't recommend visiting Americus. It's just... yeah. I'll say this about Americus: there is plenty of parking.

Here's Rosalynn, in her own words.

Happy birthday dude! Rock on!

* "History's greatest monster" is a Simpsons reference, but since Karl Rove has created this thing where Republicans call things the opposite of what they are, it probably works.

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