God, he probably hates that nickname. I just realized it's based on someone from a New York sports thing. D'oh. Jared remains a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, drizzled in a reduction of clean-cut cynicism. And if you want to piss him off, make assumptions about what kind of bands he listens to. Which is probably ultra-ironic coming from me... here's some music he actually likes.
Happy birthday dude!