Friday, October 2, 2009

Let the nerd talk!

"When one out of six Americans is unemployed or underemployed, this is no time to worry about the debt."--former Secretary of Labor, Robert Reich

Reich explains what 10% unemployment really means for American business, and when I look around the businesses downtown, near where I work, it looks like he's right. Read more here.

Can I get my sewer line repaired as a public works thing? Please.

Tressant Supreme

It's also Kelly Ripa's birthday. This commercial is one of the funniest things SNL has ever done. Unless it was MadTV.

Song of the day: "Party in the U.S.A."

Yes, I do realize that a few days ago it was Taylor Swift. But this video is the key. Some boys took the time to choreograph, rehearse, film and edit this shit, and it's great. And Miley's record label wisely left this shit up on youtube! So it's gone viral. And people like me end up sharing the song.

It's like Swine Flu. You're welcome.

Happy birthday Don McLean and Sting

My flight is earlier than I thought. Which is good, since my driver has a dentist appointment when I thought I needed a ride. My lack of short-term memory accidentally served me well today. Little victories!

I'll be away for a few days, possibly lightly blogging, if at all. If normal or heavier, then perhaps I'm bored. Palm Springs can be like that. No promises, no regrets.

My friend Rob (of Phillie now, from Dallas then) asked me what my favorite classic rock songs were. Or, what classic rock made me happy. I scoffed. I endured classic rock on my bus rides back in high school: 96 Rock in Atlanta. Tedious. Fucking Zeppelin. Fucking Skynard. No more Boston, please.

But there were, actually two songs that made me happy without me realizing back then. I still find classic rock tedious, at times. But by cutting myself off from c.r. in the late 80s, I allowed myself a little tolerance about 15+ years later. Don't tell anyone I downloaded a Lynard Skynard greatest hits thing last year... the fact that I probably misspelled their name and dont' know, is a testament to how much I don't care either way. Just nice to hear "Ooh That Smell" on my own terms.

So the two songs? "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, and "American Pie." Not Sting or the Police, he just also has a birthday. "American Pie" takes me back to St. Pete: 1971. Even a 5-year old can sing "bye, bye Miss American pie, drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry." Years later Madonna did a cover, and while Don said he liked her version (after all, he got royalties) I'd like to think we all died a little inside.

Sting. Hmm. Sting. What to say about Sting. Once upon a time, he seemed so fucking cool. So smart. Talented, sexy, smart and the best. fucking. hair. ever.

These days... yeah. I guess if one is a musician, moving into the space occupied by someone like Elton John or Billy Joel doesn't suck. But these days, Trudie Styler seems a little cooler.

Back in, what, 1986, "Russians" seemed like the most important song in the world. Along side "Sun City" and "Soul Deep." It was unintentional to share a post with McLean and Sting, but the enduring nature of "American Pie" underscores the fleeting nature of "Russians." Or maybe we won the cold war and singing about "Russians" is like singing about the boogeyman. Or polio.

Years ago, Sting was in a band. The name of that band was The Police. It was not Sting & the Police. Do not call them Sting & the Police. That would be like saying Justin Timberlake & the N'Syncs. Or Michael Stipe & R.E.M. Wrong for a few reasons. Sting left The Police. Until it was convenient to regroup with The Police. Good for him, keeping those options open. When I play the "what was your first concert" game, The Police with The Fixx are my second... after Quarterflash. Sigh. Here's The Police, from that tour, doing "Invisible Sun."

I'm gonna close the post with McLean's "Vincent"--this fan-made video features images of Van Gogh's paintings, and is kinda cool to watch. Happy birthday boys.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Happy birthday Julie Andrews

Dame Julie Andrews, that is. She is an icon. She is a talent. She is a fucking treasure. A friend once remarked about seeing Michael Jordan play, during his second come back, about having the awareness that Jordan's was a remarkable talent that needed to be appreciated. It's easy to forget that, sometimes, with these talents. Andrews has been there since, what, 50 years ago? She's on a par with Frank Sinatra, but do you give her credit for it? Today you will.

I'll start with a role that was a great collaboration with husband Blake Edwards, the remake of Victor/Victoria. Playing a woman, pretending to be a man performing as a woman, she gets to sing and act and just show her talent. The movie earned 7 Oscar nominations, including a nod for her as Best Actress--it won one for adapted score or song score for Henry Mancini.

They took Victor/Victoria to Broadway in 1995, and Andrews originated the role there. The show opened to mixed reviews and received a single Tony nomination for Andrews. She refused the nomination on principle (the Tony is the only show business award she lacks, by the way, so this objection probably will keep her from the Grand Slam of awards). She started to experience problems with her throat during the production, but this clip is from before the problems.

But let's go way back, to 1961, for a listen to her singing the role of Guinevere in Camelot.

Or even to 1956, when she originated the role of Eliza Doolite in My Fair Lady.

Studio executives passed on Andrews for the film version, but she managed to best Audrey Hepburn for the Best Actress Oscar that year, for her work in Mary Poppins.

And surely you know The Sound of Music. "My Favorite Things" is one of my favorite songs from musical theater... and I don't really know why.

She's received Emmys for her television specials. She's received a Grammy award. She's written books for children. She's a freaking Dame. She showed her breasts in husband Blake Edwards's S.O.B. playing a sainted actress who agrees to bare her breasts in one of her husband's comedies. This is a woman who has a lot of stories to tell.

She lost her vocal range after some surgery to remove throat nodules, but continues to act. I haven't seen the Princess Diaries movies and I forget who she is in the Shrek movies. She's started to sing again, although apparently very gradually.

This is disjointed, I know. But hopefully you'll take a step back and realize what a talent she is. Don't take her for granted. I mean, don't stalk her or anything, but, yeah, um, not sure what the call to action is.

My last clip is from one of my favorite underrated movies of the late 80s: That's Life. Directed by Blake Edwards, it stars Jack Lemmon as a man going through a mid-life crisis in a comedic and chaotic way, while his wife (Andrews) is quietly suffering while awaiting results of a biopsy and planning Lemmon's big birthday party. Lemmon's son and Andrews's daughter play their children on-screen, Sally Kellerman is hysterical as their free-spirited neighbor, and Andrews gets to sing the Oscar-nominated song "Life in a Looking Glass" (one of Mancini's least important compositions).

Missed connections illustrated

Are you scared of birds or something?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
- m4w - 20 (Williamsburg)
Well, whatever the case, it was cute. Do you live on N7th too? We could hang out.

Sophie Blackall in Brooklyn, NY illustrates some Craigslist Missed Connections ads at her blog and they are beautiful and compelling. See more and read more here.

(h/t Towleroad)

Flashback song: "Where is the Love"

I'm overdue for something a little older. With a little more soul. Not that Marilyn McCoo isn't packing the heat.

Another of the October 1st birthdays is Donny Hathaway, noted R&B singer from the 70s. He was Atlantic Records's version of Marvin Gaye. His death in 1979 was ruled a suicide, and his mention in Amy Winehouse's song "Rehab" led to some speculation about her own mental health. Which is silly, cause that girl is just fine. Cough.

Here's his Grammy-winning duet with Roberta Flack from 1972.

What's a "penelty"

Dear Jon, spelling may or may not count. Personally, I'd trespass just to find out what a penelty might be. I think a judge might not enforce a misspelled sign.

Dlisted has the full story here, but what's truly fantastic about this story, is that someone took the time to make this sign in the first place... and the care with which they hung it.

The wording reminds me of these threatening letters my older sister and her third ex-husband wrote to an ex-employer of his demanding his final paycheck and informing them that the keys were under the "butt can" and dropping some quasi-legal sounding phrases, and possibly "post-haste." They used an old word processor I had, and left it saved to memory, and a friend ran across it later and printed it for me. It's been a while. Good times.

To quote the tea-baggers: Get a brain, morans.

PS: You spelled YOUR NAME wrong too.

A broken wrist=pre-existing condition

Seriously. Anyone think we don't need serious healthcare reform?

Happy birthday Walter Matthau

October 1 is a busy birthday (Jimmy Carter, Zach Galifinakas, Mark McGwire, Tom Bosley, even Randy Quaid [the only reason anyone went to see Brokeback Mountain, am I right? ((that's what he said in a lawsuit trying to get more $))]). I'm going to spend a little time on Julie Andrews later today, but can't skip a little something for Walter Matthau.

I spent the first 30-something years of my life loving Jack Lemmon and ignoring Walter Matthau. I've changed that (although I still love Lemmon). Why? Try this.

Song of the day: "Meet Me on the Equinox"

The New Moon soundtrack looks really promising. I've heard this a few times, and while it's less quirky than recent Death Cab for Cuties songs, it's still good.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Quote of the day

"We should care about people even AFTER they're born."--Rep. Alan Grayson (D, FL)
Dude is in his first term, and he's bringing it.

Earl Blumenauer, are you paying attention?!

For no reason at all, a picture of Gryffindor

This is a friend's dog. Cousin to my kids, in a way. Here's how she describes him:
This beloved little comedian is in the pit bull subgrouping of Dorkus Maximus. He had a bit of a rough start as a bait dog in a two-bit ghetto dog fighting ring in Georgia, but has now taken his rightful place as Sofa King, for which the once pristine sofa has suffered from greatly. He enjoys belly rubs, sunbathing, mountain hiking, poop-eating (sorry, but true), car rides, meeting new friends, snuggling with his brothers, speed-licking, and has just this summer discovered the sublime delights of frog catching (unsuccessful so far, whew!). His nicknames include Butterball, Pumpkin, Chubbers, Bratwurst with Legs, and Buddhaboy. He is currently (like, this minute) trying his darnedest to break the world record for Highest Decibel Level Achieved During Snoring as he snoozes on his back in a patch of warm morning sun. He is brighter than sunshine
Most of these things also describe Gracie. Except replace "frog" with "moth." And she's managed to keep the weight off. Willy, on the other hand, is a different story.

My new hero: Alan Grayson

Dude continues to bring it in the house. Rock on!

Introducing pedestrian-only driver's education

In the spirit of the brilliant abstinence-only sex education, I am going to start teaching pedestrian-only driver's education. The gist of P.O.D.E. is that the only way to avoid getting into an accident as a driver, is never to drive.

In fact, stay away from cars altogether.

You're welcome America!

We didn't need that $50 million for anything

A Senate committee has voted to restore $50 million a year in federal funding for abstinence-only education that President Barack Obama had sought to eliminate.

Article here.

I guess, when every one is raising their teenage daughter's baby as their faux fifth child, we'll eventually get serious about sex education that works.

In the meantime, I would like some of that $50 million. Since abstinence-only sex education doesn't really work, no one needs to attend any of my classes. So I'll just take, say $3 million for having taught or not taught a bunch of people.

Don't have sex. You're welcome.

The Republican healthcare plan for America

Finally, someone brings it forward. Kudos to Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL).
1. Don't get sick.
2. If you do get sick, die quickly.

You go boy!

Happy birthday Marilyn McCoo

It's times like this that I lament the distance between Portland OR and Portland ME. Days like this should be shared with old friends. Old (literally old these days) friends who know the joy of Marilyn McCoo. It's a special kinship that I share with Mr. Chris(t) Wilson.

Who can say how we first identified this passion. I think it was during a mid-90s tour of the Studios at Las Colinas in Dallas, when she was the video tour guide. But you're not here for the campy glee. You're here for the classy music. Did you know Marilyn recorded "Saving All My Love for You" before Whitney?

Of course Marilyn became the megastar she is today way back in 1967 as a singer with The Fifth Dimension. "Up, Up and Away" won Record of the Year, and its covert drug culture message permeated society. Just listen:

The Fifth Dimension advocated for a variety of civil rights issues, and were among the earliest calling for gay marriage equality, in the song "Wedding Bell Blues."

The Fifth Dimension first performed its medley of "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In" from Hair when accepting its Nobel Peace Prize in the late 60s. It went on to top the Billboard singles chart and win another Record of the Year Grammy. Richard Nixon used the song to connect with young voters in 1972, cementing his win as President.

But the meteoric career of Ms. McCoo hit a snag in the early 70s when she faced controversy related to another Fifth Dimension song, "One Less Bell to Answer." Meant as an indictment of industrial chicken farming practices, "One Less" became a rallying cry for people who care about grammar. McCoo faced countless protest signs that said "One Fewer, Bitch." This made her sad.

The highlight of McCoo's career came in 1976, when she and Billy Davis were asked to write and perform an original recording at Jimmy Carter's inauguration. The first time pop musicians replaced the Poet Laureate in American history. The result "You Don't Have to be a Star" reached #1 and won another Grammy.

McCoo capped her career with an early 80s run hosting the mega-hit Solid Gold TV series. Emmys, Golden Globes, the first TV show to win a Nobel Peace Prize (McCoo's second)--there was nothing this show couldn't accomplish. It launched the careers of Madonna, Placido Domingo and Anderson Cooper, to name a few. Here she is with fellow 70s icon Paul Williams.

McCoo now lives in seclusion with husband Billy Davis Jr. They've been together 40 years. That last sentence is true.

Song of the day: "You Belong With Me"

Yes, a Taylor Swift song. A few things:
1. I have been asked MORE THAN ONCE how she could win Best Female Video, beating Beyonce, while Beyonce won Video of the Year. I don't know. The MTV Video Music Awards have a mysterious and constantly changing set of rules that includes a requirement that eligible videos air at least once on MTV during some eligibility period. Since MTV never actually plays videos, I find this a remarkable expectation.
2. Taylor Swift can't sing. I watched the Grammy nominations special last December and she sang live. It was bad. Her recorded stuff is good. So is Paula Abdul's. So is mine and Rebel's... arrrooooooo.
3. Taylor (I think) writes her own songs. As far as song writing goes, she's doing damn good.
4. The video (below) shows Taylor playing two characters, with costume changes, and emotional angst. Beyonce just dances all hot as shit in black and white. Taylor, come get your award.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Oh god, now I'm laughing at Jay Leno

Something is really wrong. Leno on Mark Sanford and his Argentine mistress.
"You mean to tell me there are no whores in the Myrtle Beach area?"

Sanford, by the way, still hasn't resigned. And his big gay Lt. Governor, and his big gay Senator Lindsay "Wagner" Graham still haven't come out.

And then, BAM, my OTHER Senator makes me happy

Holy crap! There's hope for my Xanax supply yet. Oregon's Freshman Senator, Jeff Merkley joins 3 other Senators in introducing a bill to roll back retroactive immunity to telecommunications companies that were complicit in unlawful wiretaps conducted by the Bush Administration.
"During the previous administration, telecommunications companies were granted retroactive immunity for violating the rights and privacy of millions of Americans," said Senator Merkley. "I am proud to join Senator Dodd and co-sponsor the Retroactive Immunity Repeal Act to help restore accountability and increase oversight to protect the privacy rights that have been central to our nation since its inception."
Details here.

And hooray.

I might need to turn off the computer while I'm up.

Suddenly one of my Senators makes me happy

Senator Ron Wyden from the great state of Oregon. And Dylan Ratigan, using his outside voice.

Flashback song: "Same Dream, Same Destination"

Producer Ryuichi Sakamoto worked his magic on Aztec Camera's 1993 Dreamland album, and to return the favor, Roddy Frame provided the vocals for this track from Sakamoto's 1994 album Sweet Revenge. If you don't know Sakamoto, he rivals Quincy Jones as a colorful musician/producer/composer, and Sakamoto can claim actor as well (Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence being his biggest role). He won an Oscar for composing the score to The Last Emperor, a movie I fell asleep in, after about the 8th hour.

Warren G. and I think similarly

Here's his quote from the new Vanity Fair:
"I ain’t against gay people. I’m just against it being promoted to kids...I know people that’s gay. My wife’s got friends that are gay. I got family that’s gay. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing. And kids are watching that shit. We can’t have kids growing up with that...I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the gays."

And here's my quote, shouted back at my computer monitor:
"I ain’t against gay people rappers. I’m just against it being promoted to kids...I know people that’s gay that rap. My wife’s dog’s got friends that are gay rap. I got family that’s gay rappers. Cousins and shit. He cool as fuck. He cool as a motherfucker. He’s my homie. I just mean that on some of these TV shows, they got dudes kissing rapping. And kids are watching that shit. We can’t have kids growing up with that...I know it happens, but let’s keep it behind the scenes. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with it if that’s what two dudes wanna do. Cool. But that’s not bring that out into the world, where the kids can see that. We don’t want all the kids doing that. ‘Cause that ain’t how we was originally put here to do. Like I said, I ain’t got no problem with the gays rappers."

As long as they stay the fuck out of my neighborhood.

Okay, I'll come clean. None of my cousins are, in any way, cool. I made that up. But Funky Fresh Allison J fancies herself a rapper, I am sure.

Also, a couple of points I need to add about Mr. G.

1) Remember the song "Regulators"? How he was all, "we're regulators and we regulate what people can take" or some shit? Yeah, Google that. That's as authentically "street" as the lambada and Funky Fresh Allison J.

2) The dude fucking sampled Michael McDonald. Neighbor please!

We only do this when it's the negro President

Happy birthday Madeline Kahn

I'm going to let Madeline speak for herself for a few clips:

Khan had a career in film, on TV and on Broadway, acting and singing. Here she is singing "(Not) Getting Married" from Sondheim's Company

And in her Oscar nominated turn in Blazing Saddles (among Premiere magazine's 100 greatest film performances)

Her collaborations with Mel Brooks seemed to get the most laughs. Here she is in The History of the World Part I

And in Young Frankenstein

She earned an Oscar nomination for her work in Paper Moon, losing to costar Tatum O'Neal

My last clip comes from one of my all-time favorite movies, the 1972 homage to old screwball comedies, What's Up Doc?. If you haven't seen it (I assume everyone's seen at least one of the Mel Brooks movies), this is the one to rent.

Hey, Jude is trying to send me money

Metropolitan Safe Deposits Plc
From:Mr Jude Anderson
Remittance Manager Metropolitan Safe Deposits Plc
Phone Number:+44-7024077025

This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract file presently on my desk, and I found out that you have not received your payment.due to necessary Verifications & Procedures.

After the board meeting held at our headquarters, we have resolved in finding a solution to the issue, and as you may know, we have arranged your payment through our SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER in Europe, America,Africa and Asia Pacific, which is the instruction given by the Board of Managers. And this instruction is ask to be carried out with immediate effect.

This card center will send you an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw your money on any ATM MACHINE in any part of the world, but the maximum on card is ($41,000.00) Thousand Dollars. So, if you like to receive your fund this way get back with required details

(1) Full Name as wanted on Card:
(2) Address:(No P.O.Box)
(3) Phone And Fax Number:
(4) Date Of Birth:
(5) Occupation :


We shall be expecting to receive your information . On this regards, do not hesitate to contact me for more details and direction, and also please do update me with any new development.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Best Regards,
Jude Anderson
Remittance Manager Metropolitan Safe Deposits Plc.

Note: Your code shall be (CARD 4520:2009) Make this code your reference number when contacting us.

Chia please!

Seriously (see here), Chia has created an Obama head. But to diffuse any suggestion of racism (you see, Obama is black [shhh, don't tell anyone] and has short curly hair, which the little Chia plant leaves emulate), they added Lincoln and Washington. Nothing says "powdered wig" like little green leaves. Although I guess Homer Simpson, being bald, shouldn't really have Chia plants at all, so maybe I'm reading a little too much into this.

And to diffuse any suggestion of sexism, they added in the Statue of Liberty. Because no actual female is worthy of honor in this Chia manner. Sorry ladies, but you should have stepped up and signed the Declaration of Independence and Constitution when you had the chance. By skipping that day (what, shopping?) you locked yourself out of all future opportunities (at least that's how Pat Buchanan taught me to think).

Song of the day: "Sink or Swim"

Bernard Sumner's new band, Bad Lieutenant... or, as I think of them, New New Order.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Quote of the day

"Suck a dick to get over a dick!"--Michael K.'s advice to Jennifer Aniston at Dlisted

Why stop at one?

(h/t to Becky)

Dear US Senators

Where's my fucking Surgeon General?

God damn you people are pissing me off. Fucking start the confirmation. And get Dawn Johnsen confirmed while you are fucking at it (or don't, just have the hearings and take the vote, like you are supposed to).

Do your jobs.

Where's my Xanax?

That's because IT'S NOT WORKING

“We mainly did it because of our pregnancy rate,” said Whitney Self, lead teacher for health and physical education at the Hays Consolidated Independent School District. “We don’t think abstinence-only is working.”

Texas ranks #3 in teen pregnancies, and is #1 in repeat teen pregnancies (they're #1!!!). And Texas spends more on abstinence-only sex education than any other state.

Dear Texas: it's not working.

Abstinence-only sex education is a huge mother-fucking fail.

Texas officials are looking at something called "abstinence-plus" which attempts to stress abstinence but also teach birth control.

The story is here.



Where is my blood pressure medication?

Headline of the day

Sarah Palin finishes her book

I erroneously thought this meant that Sarah Palin had finished reading a book. Good for her. Reading is fun. And fundamental.

But no, the article suggests that she has finished writing a book. With a co-author.

I harbor no illusions that she did any typing. Or any writing. Or any thinking.

Why start now?

The older sister of the Gilmore Girls

Is The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd, from the late 80s. The first 30-minute show I can recall to use a single camera and no laugh track. It's a critically acclaimed show that's never been released to DVD because of music rights; too many songs used in the show that aren't cleared for a DVD release. Sigh.

Here's a great clip with Blair Brown, David Strathairn and Allyn Ann McLerie as Molly's mother. Look at Molly and her mother and tell me that wasn't fantastic casting.

Dave White is reviewing Project Runway

In addition to the ever fabulous Project Rungay blog, Dave White is also reviewing (most recent column here).

You can't beat Tom & Lorenzo (the Rungays) for bitchy fun. But Dave adds a new dimension:

"Your mama is so poor, Ayn Rand felt sorry for her."

Now, he didn't actually say that, he quoted his husband. But he gets that it's a great line, and that's what matters.

So hooray, another blog to read.

Oh crap, another blog to read.

Someone at the AP took the time to type this story

Which is almost as lame as me taking the time to blog it.

Headline: Phish bass player meets Wis. man with same name

Details here. The name is "Mike Gordon" so I'm guessing there are more than 2 of them out there.

Question of the day

How can the FCC honestly go after CBS and Jackson again when President Obama's nipples have provided the stimulus for millions of magazine sales?--Prof. Darren Hutchinson at Dissenting Justice

An interesting little article titled "A Tale of Two Tit Exposures: Janet Jackson, President Obama, the FCC and Gender" is worth a quick read.

In summary: "men's nipples are not smutty. In fact, they are presidential."

Say amen somebody!

Someone posted a clip from Tush, featuring the brilliant Jan Hooks, Bonnie Turner and Terry Turner (oh, and Bill Tush). "The Tammy Jean Show" became a recurring sketch. Enjoy.

And now the FBI is involved


This is to officially inform you that a foreign bank from West Africa have transferred funds worth $2.5 Millions of United States Dollars with your name as the beneficiary. This foreign bank knows that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from their location to your account and therefore they used what is known as Secret Transit Diplomatic Payment (S.T.D.P) to do this transfer and they are currently awaiting a confirmation from you for final crediting to your account. Secret Transit Diplomatic Payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities, so if you are not intending to finance terrorism and your transaction is legitimate, why then did you agree to receive these funds through this means that was used instead of a direct transfer to your account? Our findings shows that this method of transfer was used in the past to finance terrorist acts, so there is need to correct this problem now to avoid you getting into trouble when the funds reflects in your account. Under the United Nations monetary rules it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account. Due to the increased difficulty and security measures set up by the United States for the transfer of funds from foreign banks, the FBI foreign bank commission have stopped the transfer on its way to debit your reserve account and pay you through a secured diplomatic transit account (s.d.t.a) we govern and oversee funds transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world.

We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper erifications and prove from you in order to ensure that the money you are about to receive is clean and legal. The funds are right here in United State in your name, but the bank has been instructed not to release the funds to anybody until we have finalized our investigations. Note that the funds will not be credited into your personal account until the needed document is provided.

Your duty is to prove to us that the funds you are about to receive is a clean and the only way to prove that is by sending us this Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST). You are to forward this document to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you don't have it let us know so that we will direct you to where you will obtain it so that your funds can be released. This document is to be issued to you from the location of the foreign bank to affect your funds transfer.
The Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service. This Condition is Valid until 5 days after which the funds shall be confiscated and legal action will be taken against you.

Guarantee: Funds will be released upon confirmation of the DIST document.
Final Instruction;
1. Credit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee.
2. Beneficiary has full power when validation is cleared.
3. Beneficiaries bank in can only release funds.
4. Upon confirmation from the world bank / united nations.
5. Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request.
We have confirmed that the amount required to procure your document which is called the Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) will cost you a total of $550 USD only and the fee should be paid directly to the PAYMENT OFFICE IN NIGERIA via Western Union Money transfer with the ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC):
Once you have sent the required information to EFCC, they will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of $550 USD only for the procurement of your (DIST) DOCUMENT, to enable her expedite action on the processing and release of your payment without any further delay.

You have hereby been authorized /guaranteed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be NO delay once payment for the (DIST) DOCUMENT has been made to the authorized agent.

NOTE: We have requested for the DIST document to make available the most complete and update records possible for the enhancement of public safety, welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Document to us, we will charge you with the financial crimes. The United Nations Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Service (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities and once you have completed payment of $550 to the agent in charge of this transaction, you're advised to keep us posted to enable us follow up with the release of your payment and Act fast.


I'm passing on this one, but if you guys want go for it

Plot 1684, Sanusi fafunwa Street
Victoria Island, Lagos - Nigeria.



I am DAVID FAVOURS the Managing Director - Finance with The National Petroleum investment Management Services Company ( NAPIMSC ), the upstream arm of the NNPC which oversees the government's investments in the Joint Venture producing companies, (JVC's), and a senior key member of the Federal Contract Award Committee Board both to "The NAPIMSC & The NNPC".

I do have an urgent need for a trust worthy foreign contact person with whom I can carry out a successful business deal that involves TELEGRAPHIC WIRE TRANSFER OF US$85.050Million that was generated from OVER INVOICING OF CONTRACTS PAYMENTS to which we have just secured access to push out for all our mutual benefit.

But because we are citizen and still working as civil servants, we cannot carry out this TELEGRAPHIC WIRE TRANSFER ourselves. At this point in time we therefore need an honest, trustworthy and reliable assistance of a foreigner who will be A kind and honest person to us and will not disappoint us at the end of this transaction after receiving THE WIRE TRANSFER OF THE US$85.050Million on all our behalf ( My Side & Your Side ). To this, I want you to send immediately to me the below stated information which includes:-
1. Your Complete Full Names:-
2. Your Home Contact Address:-
3. Your Company's Name:-
4. Your Company's Address:-
5. Your Direct Cell & Home Telephone Numbers:-
6. Your Position In Your Company:-
7. Your Age:-

8. Your Bank's Name:-
9. Your Bank's Address:-
10. Your Receiving Account Number:-
11. Your Account Type:-
12. Your Account Swift Code:-
13. Your Account Routing Numbers:-
14. Your Account Name / Beneficiary:-
15. Any form of identification of your person either your "DRIVER'S LICENCE OR YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT". This should be scanned and be emailed to me by attachment.


After the above information is fully received from you, I will send to you A MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING ( MOU ) that you will go through and after which you will sign your part and I will sign my own part and then it will be notarized over here at the Federal High Court to have legal backing of the law protecting both parties ( my side & your side ) on this project. After the signing and notarization of the MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING ( MOU ), the received information will then be forwarded to the Attorney whom I will implore his legal Services to represent you on behalf of your Company. He will get you properly registered as one of the contractors to NAPIMSC who has already been awarded the contract and all documentations will be LEGALLY PROCESSED in your name on your behalf through him over here. The processed documents in your name on your behalf by the Attorney will be submitted for immediate approvals to receive THE DIRECT SWIFT WIRE TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER of the funds into your given awaiting account.

I shall come to your Country immediately you confirm to me the receipt and full crediting of THE DIRECT SWIFT WIRE TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER for the sum of US $85.050Million in your account for disbursement. The sharing pattern is as follows:- YOU SHALL BE GIVEN 25% OF THE TOTAL SUM, 5% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO OFF - SET ALL TAXATION AND MISCELLANEOUS EXPENSES INCURRED DURING THE TRANSACTING PERIOD AND 70% WILL BE FOR ME AND MY COLLEAGUES. However, be rest assured that no risk is involved or any scandal in the future, for we have done all our homework very well, NOBODY WILL BE HUNT OR HURT DURING AND AFTER THIS TRANSACTION.

Meanwhile, I look forward to establishing a life long business relationship with you, PLEASE DO RESPOND TO THIS ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESSES:-

Best Regards.

On Roman Polanski's arrest

Kate Harding, at Salon's Broadsheet, has a fantastic reminder about the circumstances that put Polanski in his current situation.
Roman Polanski may be a great director, an old man, a husband, a father, a friend to many powerful people, and even the target of some questionable legal shenanigans. He may very well be no threat to society at this point. He may even be a good person on balance, whatever that means. But none of that changes the basic, undisputed fact: Roman Polanski raped a child. And rushing past that point to focus on the reasons why we should forgive him, pity him, respect him, admire him, support him, whatever, is absolutely twisted.
The article, title "Reminder: Roman Polanski raped a child," is a good one. It's a helpful reminder of the dangers of minimizing the crimes committed by celebrities (Chris Brown) and of blaming victims (Rhianna).

Song of the day: "Lisztomania"

From Phoenix (the band, not the city--they're from France, the country). I've posted the song as the background music to a John Hughes/Brat Pack montage (I mention the pack since there are non-Hughes movies among the clips), but it's worth a post on its own. It's becoming a "go to" song for pop background music, so expect to hear it in romantic comedy trailers. If you haven't already (I might have and that's what put it in my head).

As far as I can tell, the song is NOT about an obsession with German composer Franz Liszt. But since he "anticipated some 20th-century ideas and trends" (that you Wikipedia) maybe it is. Maybe it is. Just not the lyrics.

Happy birthday Janeane Garofalo

I love Janeane Garofalo. She's the first stand-up I recall hearing that gave Gen-X a voice. As I sit here finishing my first cup of coffee I'm struggling to come up with a description of what sets her apart, and thanks to the Wikipedia Gods, I see that she doesn't tell jokes, she makes observations. That sounds right. In watching her flip through her note pad to find something she knows is the perfect next bit, I've thought "that looks like me" before--I can be clever, but don't expect me to make an effort to organize or rehearse. Or learn basic HTML.

Here is some early stand-up.

Reality Bites is the first time I remember seeing her (although I saw her before then, I'm sure); a movie I really truly loved. Despite Winona Ryder. Actually she's fine there. Just, you know, wondering how she had an A-list career without the ability to change her vocal inflection a little. I can't find the scene where Garofalo is about to get her AIDS test results, which is a shame because I love the line "...and Melrose Place is a really good show." So here's the cast dancing to "My Sharona"

I think her biggest movie success was with The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Just listen to the Blues Traveler music in the background--it's 1998 all over again. Or whatever year this came out.

If you haven't seen the teen movie parody Wet Hot America Summer, you should. This clip doesn't do it justice.

She's had some mixed success on television, including stints on The Ben Stiller Show, two Emmy nominations for her work on Larry Sanders, and about 6 months on Saturday Night Live, where they didn't seem to have any idea how to use her.

Janeane now spends a lot of time on talk radio and making appearances as something of a liberal pundit. Which is awesome. There is hope for me! Except I hate talk radio, so I have never heard her on the air. But she holds her own as a pundit.

Here she is on FOX News back in 2003.

And with Bill Maher.

I'd love to see her thrive in as an alternative icon, hosting things like the Independent Spirit Awards and the White House Correspondents Dinner without having to show up on Jay Leno's show promoting some summer movie with a Burger King tie-in. Crossed fingers.

Happy birthday John Sayles

Since I paid tribute to John (he's one of my all-time favorite film makers) not too long ago, I'm going to point you to those posts so I can spend a little quality time with Janeane Garofalo (see above).

But the earlier posts about Sayles can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Song of the day: "Pearl's Dream"

From Bat for Lashes

Roman Polanski arrested in Switzerland

US officials arrested Polanski when he went to Switzerland to accept an award. He has been a fugitive from US authorities since 1978:
Mr. Polanski, 76, was convicted that year in a California court of unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl whom he had lured to the home of Jack Nicholson and drugged. Faced with a prison term, he fled the United States just before his sentencing.

Samantha Geimer, the girl with whom Mr. Polanski had sex, has since publicly forgiven him.

Because there is no statute of limitation for "flight," this has haunted him for over 30 years. And I don't mean to minimize the crimes of fleeing conviction, rape and/or otherwise taking an advantage of a 13-year old girl. Being a celebrity should not insulate him. Although his Oscar win for The Pianist suggests that Hollywood isn't holding it against him. If one of the Law & Order shows hasn't ripped this from the headlines yet, expect it very soon.

Details on the surprising story are here.

Happy birthday Gwneyth Paltrow

My good friend "Sonya" "Tonya" (not her real name) has had (and may still have) among her aspirations, a dream of being an actress. Several years ago, when we were lamenting the injustices in the world (how can George Clooney be so handsome AND charming AND talented, and I'm just brilliant and overflowing with a unique sex appeal?--not fair).

Some of the laments had to do with actresses like Mira Sorvino (graduated with honors from Harvard and won an Oscar before she turned 30. Jodie Foster (I won't insult you by explaining who she is). And Gwenyth. I assured her that, had either of her parents been esteemed actors (Paul Sorvino for Mira, Blythe Danner for Paltrow) she would have been racking up the awards. Foster's just fucking talented and has been working all her life--that path is clearly for losers.

I don't recall how I first saw the 1993 movie Flesh and Bone, starring Dennis Quaid, James Caan and Meg Ryan; a movie that I really like. And before you leap to some "oh, Meg Ryan movie in the 90s, it's got to be a sweet little comedy" conclusions, let me tell you this is a somber little mood piece in which a man (Quaid) who watched his father (Caan) murder a family 30 years before meets the daughter who was spared (Ryan) and they fall in love. In an indie film kind of love. Music in minor key, distant stares, no dialog, and probably no actual sex on screen (although it's been a while and my memory is hazy). It's one of Paltrow's first movies, and she's fantastic as this con woman who has hooked up with Caan (who is old enough to be her grandpa). Written and directed by Steve Kloves (The Fabulous Baker Boys, writer of Racing with the Moon and Wonder Boys)--I hadn't heard about him recently, but I guess he is keeping busy as the writer of the Harry Potter movies. Which I haven't seen. Here are some of her scenes.

She's good (good, not great in my opinion) in 1998's Sliding Doors, a movie about the two possible paths a woman's life might have taken had she caught or just missed a train to work.

Her signature role, thus far, is 1998's Shakespeare in Love, which won seven Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actress for Paltrow. The screenplay itself is such a piece of genius (writers Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard pack so much into the screenplay that even on repeated viewings you're still finding new stuff--check out these references).

I think I was rooting for Cate Blanchett that year (for Elizabeth), an amazingly crafted movie. Geoffrey Rush is in both, and I thought he deserved an Oscar for Elizabeth, but was nominated for S.I.L.

Paltrow is good in Don Roos's Bounce. I didn't see Duets, but apparently she's got a nice voice. I say "nice" in the "it doesn't suck, but you'll notice no one is clamoring for her to remake Cabaret" way. You decide:

She had the lead in the film adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize winning play Proof. A solid film directed by John Madden (who also directed S.I.L.) with Oscar-bait written all over it (I fully expected at least a Supporting Actress nomination for Hope Davis), but it didn't pick up anything that year except a Golden Globe nomination for Paltrow.

And most recently (as far as I can recall) she's in the wonderful Iron Man. It seemed a shame that such a relatively small role would go to an A-list actress (the movie was so good that they could have gone without a name) but she's really great in it. So I guess I'm happy. She's back in Iron Man 2, hopefully with more screen time, possibly in a lot of scenes with Scarlett Johansson (who plays the Black Widow, a character I love but I can't give you any good reason why). I can't find a good scene with actual dialog (lots of fan clips with songs), so if you haven't seen it, just go rent it.

I'm purposely leaving off Seven (which, if it's actually Se7en, ought to be pronounced "se-seven-en" so I write is Seven) and Emma. She runs a "lifestyle" newsletter/website called Goop. And she's married to Chris Martin of Colplay. Happy birthday GP.